Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Sorry for the long rant, but I just had to share this and I suspected there might be folk on here who feel my pain.

The fella (J.J.) and I were invited over to the house of his best friend (H.) and H's girlfriend (B.). I'd met H. before, but this was going to be the first time I met B. Since we were invited over for dinner, J.J. let them know in advance that I was vegan and as always said that we would be happy to bring food for me so they wouldn't have to do anything special, which they seemed happy with. I brought a Viana steak I happened to have in the fridge. We also brought a bottle of wine and some chips to share.

So, H. was curious but polite about the veganism. In the car he asked some questions, like if I eat fish, and what other things I eat/don't eat. And that was kind of the end of the vegan-talk as far as I was concerned. At the house, J.J. and H. and I were in the living room eating chips and B. came in from the kitchen and a propos of nothing turned in the direction of J.J. (who's omni) and declared pointedly: "If the whole world went vegan at once we wouldn't have enough room to grow the crops necessary." His reaction was "Why are you saying this to me?" so she turned to me while I politely explained that actually the vast majority of crops go towards feeding livestock and how it takes a lot more pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat, yada yada. I hoped that would be the end of it, but for the rest of the evening I was met with something halfway between condescension and hostility.

Her: "Still, it's not very healthy. There was something on the news about this young girl who was completely undernourished because her parents were feeding her a vegan diet".

Me: "That's unfortunate. There's not anything inherently unhealthy about a vegan diet, but yeah, as with any diet, including the standard western diet, you need to make sure you're getting all the nutrients you need. After all, you can eat nothing but chips and cola and that would be vegan but not very healthy." At which point, I pointed to my zaftig frame and joked "I'm living proof that you can eat well on a vegan diet".

Her: "Yes, well of course if you eat chips you're going to get fat. We never eat chips." Meanwhile her bf H. is wolfing down the chips we brought.

Then when we sat down to dinner, I offered everyone a bite of my "steak", thinking they might be curious. She looked up from her beefsteak as if I was trying to poison her and said "That can't be good for you. It's a composite of ingredients. It must be filled with chemical preservatives."

Me: "Actually, it's made of mainly organic grains and plant ingredients. It's from the organic food store and there's not a single preservative."

This prompted a slightly disgusted sneer.

After dinner, we were having coffee and she brought out this package of spelt cookies she'd bought at the health-food store and handed one out to each of us without asking if we wanted them. The packaging was still in her hands and I asked if maybe I could look at the ingredient list. Instead of handing it to me so I could check, she started defensively reading off the list like a petulant teenager. It went something like this "blah blah blah milk powder blah blah blah", at which point she smacked down the package in front of my face and said "see, nothing bad in there". I pointed out that it contained milk powder, which meant I wouldn't eat it, but no biggie, because J.J. could then have my cookie. Her snotty reply: "If I hadn't told you, you'd have never known it was in there." (To which her boyfriend replied "Well, she did ask to see the ingredients.") I really wish I'd just said "I won't eat those; they're a composite of ingredients."

It wasn't just me. She managed to get digs into J.J. and H. too, but her guns were aimed at me most of the evening. (Aside from clearly finding my veganism abhorrent, and backhandedly calling me a fat cow, she also managed to completely condescend to me about my job choice.) I was actually wondering if I was just being oversensitive, but when we got home J.J. said he too was shocked at her attacks on me and in particular the vitriol reserved for anything to do with veganism. Gah! What an unpleasant woman! Luckily, since becoming vegan, most omnis around me have reacted with either indifference or respectful curiosity, and I know that the problem lies with her and not with me. Still, she managed to get under my skin.

And if you got this far, thanks for letting me vent my spleen.

It sounds like she's the type of person who would be unpleasant no matter what. Veganism just seemed to make it easy for her to decide what to hone in on. Sorry you had to deal with that, though!

Ugh, some people suck. She's clearly one of them.

Some people are just nasty. Veganism is an easy thing to attack because it is uncommon and people generaly do not understand it. If it weren't that you are a vegan then it would have been the shoes you were wearing or the way you hold your fork.
Hugs

Yikes. She sounds like a sad, sad individual. You almost have to feel sorry for someone who is brimming with so much negatively all the time.

You shouldn't have threatened her unfounded opinions by existing.

She's one of those "I'm always right, you're wrong" kind of person. They'll argue anything to the death. If you said the sky was blue, she'd probably argue that too.

Hey, at least something good came out of it. H's eyes are wide open now, if he wants to stay in a relationship with someone like her, to treat his best friend's gf like that, it's his own damn fault.

Thanks, guys! I knew I could count on the PPK for commiserationz! I agree that she is just an unpleasant person, and the veganism was an easy target. I usually try not to let people like that get to me, but it was kind of unrelenting.



This made me laugh out loud. That pretty much sums it up.

That sounds awful! You're a tough cookie for lasting the whole evening. I don't know that I could have.

Shooting the messenger is such a classic non-vegan discomfort-alleviation move.

She's just an arsehole.

And I think you were a good vegan ambassador. I think I would have taken the bait and been nasty. Then she could have went to her friends (if she has any) and told them, oh well I met a vegan once who was horrible. But no, you're a champ.

Maybe she had on really uncomfortable pantaloons? Like front and rear wedge, and even when she excused herself to dislodge it, it immediately creeped back up there, and she had to sit on a hard wedge up her junk the whole night.

You handled that really well! Her repeated use of "composite of ingredients" is cracking me up, too. What does that even mean?

wow. what a bisque.

One can only hope.



I know! I keep using that today. "I don't know if I can eat that bread. It's a composite of ingredients".

Is it odd that I enjoyed your essay? You were so eloquent. I’d have cursed at least once, if not at the dinner, then certainly in my writing.

I've never met anyone who was mean and nasty about my dietary choices, but I think maybe these stories on the PPK will help me prepare to respond in the best way possible when that moment arrives. Yay.

This is a crazy-ass story. so sorry you had to deal with Ms Nut-job. Why did you stay? did you feel leaving would have been worse?
I would have left, I have no patience for that kind of behavior and even less interest in indulging people's nasty outbursts.

Hindsight is 20/20. I really wish you'd said that, too. When I got to that line in your rant, I laughed out loud.

But, good for all us vegans, you were an excellent vegan ambassador and you now have a sad but awesome story to tell. I hope you'll only have one of these stories to tell in your lifetime.

Man, she seems nasty. You handled it like a champ! I'd probably have been really unpleasant and evil. I hope your food was tasty even if not all the company was pleasant. <3

she was trolling hard - seemed even her boyfriend wasn't on her side. I bet it felt great to leave!

The main thing I don't understand is why you didn't throw your coffee on her while screaming, '"T'S A COMPOSITE OF INGREDIENTS!!!"

Wow, I've never had anybody treat me like that about my veganism. Most people are curious or respectful, rarely mean. It sounds like you handled it really well, though.

And what's a "Viana steak"?

She sounds like a miserable person. I would find it so depressing to be her bf, so here's hoping that the attacks on your veganism spark off a breakup.

You practiced some noble restraint. Ambassador or no, I'd have made sure I wasn't welcome in that house again.

Yes, you handled this really well. Graciously and kindly. Now, what's a Viana steak?

You were awesome, and she's clearly a miserable person.