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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:06 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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I don't post in this thread often because talking about my anxiety makes me anxious. Yes, I should work on that. But anyway, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who shared their triumphs. It's incredibly helpful to see that things I feel absurd having difficulty with can aren't as strange as I thought...and that others get over them. Also, I hate phones, too.

Now, on to my (hopeful) triumph...I have to sub in a class today. It's a huge class (compared to the classes I'm used to being in) probably 30-40 people. I'm terrified because although I know the material, an hour and 15 minutes is a looooong time to be in front of people. Anyway, it has to be done, and the fact that I'm up today and have prepared (since I tend procrastinate things that stress me out) is a step in the right direction. Now I'm afraid of the planned discussion being totally silent....


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 8:59 am 
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Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
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I'm so impressed, bekki! I had to teach a creative writing class for grade seven students once and it was so completely terrifying I thought I was going to die. I have so much respect for teachers. How do you do it?!

I have been so far out of my comfort zone all weekend (new job, new field, steep learning curve, mistakes, working with lots of new people) that I am just in shock of how I handled it. I kind of amazed myself. Yay me, or yay Cipralex, but I'll take it!


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:03 am 
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Yay, everyone!
Like vijita, I've been waaaay outside my comfort zone lately. I even went to a music show on Friday night by myself to see T.'s band play. I was jittery as fork and feeling like I might pass out, but I did it and live to tell the tale. And I went to the farm sanctuary last weekend which involves hanging out with people. Sometimes my panic disorder is so bad that I forget I have social anxiety, too! It's there, but I can manage it.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:32 pm 
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Frees Bunny Slippers
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I have OCD and generalized anxiety. The other day I told my (very awesome) partner that I was feeling anxious, guilty... He said, "What is your favorite emotion?" I told him joy. Then we thought of things that make us joyful. It worked to get me out of that slump. I have been going to therapy for years and now I can bring myself down from the brink before it gets too bad.


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:29 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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vijita wrote:
I'm so impressed, bekki! I had to teach a creative writing class for grade seven students once and it was so completely terrifying I thought I was going to die. I have so much respect for teachers. How do you do it?!


And the score is:
Anxiety 1, me zero.

I panic, flailed, came home and threw up, and had nightmares. Grade 7 would be scary enough but mine were college students--mostly juniors and seniors. I guess the fact that I actually made it into the class and through the material, it's a sort of triumph.

And I agree, teachers are amazing.


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:33 pm 
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Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
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That's okay! You tried! And you will try again eventually. I completely understand. <3 It is a very, very hard thing to do!


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 7:19 am 
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I made dinner last night. :) I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm really crepe and useless and not so good at eating. I normally feel too low so my partner ends up cooking all the time just so I'll eat and if I try to make something I freeze up and panic and I'm so drained I can't think straight. BUT last night I actually made an edible thing AND did it quickly AND I used up a load of veg which was going mouldy. I feel so proud it's ridiculous but I feel like I really gained some confidence. I can do this shiitake.


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 11:48 am 
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Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables
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You can!


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:36 pm 
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Even better: You did!

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:43 pm 
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I have had such bad anxiety lately. Every time I make the decision to go off my antidepressants, I think I can handle it, and I can't. Lately I've been freaking out over every sound I hear in my house at night, and over-analyzing every little pain in my body or every heart palpitation, giving myself panic attacks. My social anxiety has gotten bad, too. I now only go to the grocery store when I know I won't run into anyone I know. I drove to Chipotle today to get a veggie bowl, and when I saw the long line inside the restaurant, I drove away without getting anything.

I sat with my phone in my hand for an hour today, trying to decide whether or not to call my doc for an appointment to go back on the meds. I finally made the call.


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:13 pm 
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Bella Luna wrote:
I sat with my phone in my hand for an hour today, trying to decide whether or not to call my doc for an appointment to go back on the meds. I finally made the call.


Well done.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:52 am 
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No triumph, but I got asked by my second job to give a list of my hours (its a very...independent type of employment, I guess) and it sent me down a road of panic about them deciding they didn't need me anymore and money and paying for my new apartment in a couple months that I can't afford if I don't have a second job and ugh. I'm feeling a little better this morning about it and I think I've created some space so that I don't continually sit in a pit of anxiety over it, but I'm still worried.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:39 am 
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We had people staying in our house for the past three days and nights, and I survived! I actually came out of my room, made good conversations with them, made and ate food with them, and I liked it! (I might have even genuinely laughed once or twice.)


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:45 am 
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flavabean wrote:
We had people staying in our house for the past three days and nights, and I survived! I actually came out of my room, made good conversations with them, made and ate food with them, and I liked it! (I might have even genuinely laughed once or twice.)


Yay you! That's awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 10:02 am 
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I went to the release/reading event for my school's lit magazine, which had one of my poems in it (This was a triumph of its own; I've never had the guts to submit my creative writing to anything before). I was just going to get a copy and listen to everyone else, but when they asked who wanted to read I raised my hand for some reason. And then my turn came up and I went to the front of the room, read, and sat back down. And the world didn't even end or anything!

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 11:40 am 
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See? The world never actually ends!

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:18 pm 
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Invented Vegan Meringue
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okay, so in a brief moment of normalcy, I invited a bunch of people over to eat vegan pie and watch pushing daisies. I am going to be honest and say that I didn't think many people would actually be interested. but now there are like 7 people coming over? which is, a lot for me, as I usually have like 2 people over at a time and I live in a rather small apartment. Also, a lot of them only know each other through me, and at least 4 of them I haven't hung out with outside of school and a non-anxious person would probs be fine with this as it seems like a normal fun thing to do.


What I am trying to say is, I really hope I come back and post in here triumphantly later after everyone goes home.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 4:49 pm 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
okay, so in a brief moment of normalcy, I invited a bunch of people over to eat vegan pie and watch pushing daisies. I am going to be honest and say that I didn't think many people would actually be interested. but now there are like 7 people coming over? which is, a lot for me, as I usually have like 2 people over at a time and I live in a rather small apartment. Also, a lot of them only know each other through me, and at least 4 of them I haven't hung out with outside of school and a non-anxious person would probs be fine with this as it seems like a normal fun thing to do.


What I am trying to say is, I really hope I come back and post in here triumphantly later after everyone goes home.


You can do it boober! I believe in you!
Also, pie in mouths + movie doing the talking = need for blathery conversation is mostly eliminated.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 9:10 pm 
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it was okay! slightly awkward but okay!

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 11:06 pm 
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ohman I am just glad that is over and that everyone had fun.

I have been putting myself out there SO MUCH friend-wise and human-interaction-wise lately. even though it's only been like 3 weeks since I got out of classes, the difference between last summer and this summer are huge. Part of it is that I am working 2 jobs that require me to be out of my apartment, but even on the days when I am not working I a making conscious effort to leave and go see people, or even just have a coffee somewhere in public that isn't my apartment.

this is of course simultaneously keeping my anxiety at bay and triggering it. I can't stay away from people for too long or I go hermit crazy, but if I spend too much time near people I get so anxious I can barely function.


anyway, what I'm saying is that I am making strides, I think.

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Space has stared into the tiny syrup holes of our shame and it does not judge us. - Amandabear

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art: http://upthefolksstudio.tumblr.com/


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 11:12 am 
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I applied for a new position at my company about a month ago at this point. I had an interview over two weeks ago (two and a half) and they said they'd get back to me within 10 days. I have not heard a peep. Yesterday on the recommendation of my therapist, I sent an email to one of the interviewers nicely asking 'What the hell?' and told my boss this was going on and it was why I'd been withdrawn/possibly less productive than usual the previous week. He understood and said something awkward of happy/hoping for me to get the position but also not wanting me to get it because it'd mean I'd leave this department and he'd have to find a new person. So. Still super anxious, but at least I managed to assert myself in two instances!

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 3:58 pm 
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Go boober! I know exactly what you mean; it's tricky to strike a balance where I have enough-but-not-too-much alone time, and enough-but-not-too-much socializing.

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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 7:52 pm 
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My main triumph: Long long ago I was told by multiple docs that I should be taking drugs for my crippling anxiety, which I did for a couple years, and guess what? I've been off them now for 8 years and haven't completely flipped out. I actually think working through it WITHOUT medication has been much more helpful for me. I haven't had a panic attack since I went off the drugs. Back then I was in a place where I refused to leave the house. Not only have I left the house since then, but I've moved cities a couple of times, traveled, had normal jobs etc.

It can still be a struggle sometimes. For me, I think a lot of it is situational and yeah, I still get worked up over ridiculous shiitake sometimes. Like some other people mentioned getting anxious about going to the post office or making phone calls. When I get nervous about stuff like that I try to calm down and put it in perspective. Like, for example, I've done a lot of solo international travel. If I'm able to fly to Australia by myself then what the fork is so scary about asking the weird old ladies at the post office for my package? I mean obviously it's more complicated than that sometimes, but 85% of the time simply reassuring myself by remembering stuff I did that was way harder helps. And this came in handy the other day when I had to rescue a package from the evil clutches of the weird old ladies at the post office.


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 6:05 am 
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Went to interview! Didn't die! I won!


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 Post subject: Re: Triumphs over anxiety!
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 8:10 am 
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One of my sons finally managed to get in to a psychiatrist (had been seeing therapists), was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety, and now 10 days later has consented to start taking medication. I am so frigging relieved that 1) he is in the health-care system now and 2) seems to have good people looking after him and 3) has decided to take the medication. He just turned 17.

I read everything I could get about the medication, including ppker's personal experience, and talked to a few friends with first-hand experience and I hope this will be the right thing for him. I don't want to give too many specifics because it is his life, not mine, but it has been very hard for me as well, the worst thing being seeing him suffer and struggle.

One thing I read here that really opened my eyes was Tofulish writing that she had never known what it was like to live without anxiety (paraphrasing) and the medication she took freed her from that. I think it is that way for him as well and I would be thrilled for him to get some relief so he can fully be the most wonderful person he is.


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