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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:34 pm 
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Semen Strong
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How do day cares and other care providers do it?

Today I spent all day trying to get a very tired Leela to take a nap. Basically she was up and happy for about 2 hours, then tired, rubbing her eyes and crying, I then nursed and rocked and carried her for about 30 mins to an hour until she drifted off (once in the Mei Tai), and then she naps for about 20 minutes wakes up and wants to play for a bit and then the cycle starts again.

I wanted to get out to do a few things, but we spent all day on the edge of exhaustion, so it just never happened. Plus with my knees I'm not supposed to be lifting her right now, but that is the only thing that works - even the swing has stopped being effective. I put her in it after she is asleep and her eyes pop open.

I couldn't possibly spend all day doing this with more than one child

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:45 pm 
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mittenmacher wrote:
Still crying!

I also feel guilty because maybe my mother was right, and I made him a crappy sleeper by nursing him to sleep and cosleeping when he was a baby and never teaching him to go to sleep on his own.


Ugh Mitten I am so sorry you're going through this! Kai was a terrible sleeper for so long, I totally know how you feel. It is evil!

That said, (I'm afraid to post this to jinx it) but Kai has been sleeping much better now. He only been waking up 1x per night, if that. Not to rub it in, but just to say, your mother wasn't necessarily right! We coslept for a long time, and I still nurse him to sleep. So I don't think it has to do with that at all.

I really hope he grows out of it soon for you!!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:02 pm 
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*chuckle* @ tofulish

Taking care of other people's kids is Soooo not the same as being a parent. I go to visit baby g now and I'm the baby whisperer and supernanny all rolled into one. Come home and I still find myself praying for freya to please for the love of god to sleep.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:00 pm 
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refinnej wrote:
*chuckle* @ tofulish

Taking care of other people's kids is Soooo not the same as being a parent. I go to visit baby g now and I'm the baby whisperer and supernanny all rolled into one. Come home and I still find myself praying for freya to please for the love of god to sleep.


Haha, I agree! That said, I'm nervous about going back to work in a week, over a dozen 2 and 3 year olds were easy to deal with when I knew I could go home and relax. Should be interesting with a 9 week old at home.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:27 am 
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What is wrong with this girl? 5+ months and she's still sleeping like s 5 day old, waking 5-6 x's in 9 or 10 hours. I have days where I'm pretty sure I will not survive until her first birthday. Oi, let this new bed coming be a magic forking bed.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 6:44 am 
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Semen Strong
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Leela slept through the night for the first time this weekend, after a very busy day. We went to the beach with the lovely RandiJM, out to lunch with tons of people talking to her and then to a friend's potluck with other kids. I wonder if all that activity helped?

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 6:46 am 
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I think the activity helps. It makes me wonder if I'm boring her on regular days!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:25 am 
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I think we're just all softies for our own kids. When you're watching someone else's child you get a different view on how things go.
My cousin didn't sleep through the night until he was FOUR. He wasn't still being breastfed or anything, but everytime he made a noise, my aunt and uncle we're up catering to his every need. I came to stay for a week while they went on vacation. They warned me about his sleep patterns. So the first night he woke up at 2am yelling for me to bring him tissue to blow his nose. I told him he was four, and perfectly capable of getting tissue himself. I was NOT getting up. He kept screaming at me to get it for him, so when I did get up to tell him to keep his voice down so he wouldn't wake up his brother, he stood in his room, gave me the "I'll show you" look, and purposely pissed his pants. I gave him my most seriously angry face, and said in an expressionless voice "Get different pjs on, go blow your nose, and get back in the bed. I don't want to hear another noise from you until 7.".
He started sleeping through the night after that.
So I don't know... maybe other caregivers are "hard-asses"? I just wasn't going to put up with being his slave during the night.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:38 am 
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AmandaMelanie wrote:
everytime he made a noise, my aunt and uncle we're up catering to his every need

god this was my inlaws house last week when i was there. both kids (age 7 and 9), every single need, mom was there STAT. kid says jump, mom says how high. at this age one should be capable of wiping own butt, blowing nose, feeding oneself (i kid you not), etc. I was biting my tongue so hard....

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:44 am 
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Oh yes, it wasn't just at night.
Apparently the kids needed to be waked FORTY FIVE minutes early to just lay in bed and wake up. Which meant I was to be up at the crack of dawn to wake them the first time, then they lay there for nearly an hour. Eff no. Lights went on, I told them they had 10 minutes to be up, dressed, bed made and downstairs. Then 20 minutes to eat breakfast or starve until recess at school. They knew I meant business.
Here I am now some days pleading with Malcolm to finish the sandwich he's been sitting in front of for 2 hours. I'm a sucker for my own kid.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 8:30 am 
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refinnej wrote:
What is wrong with this girl? 5+ months and she's still sleeping like s 5 day old, waking 5-6 x's in 9 or 10 hours.

This is pretty normal for us now at almost 22 months. I hope the new bed works for you, but I just want to let you know that even if it doesn't, you will survive! I have... somehow :)

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:57 pm 
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pb, thanks for posting. This is both heartening and dismaying at the same time. :) I feel a bit bad complaining because I know it could be so much worse. The physical effects of sleep deprivation are just hitting me hard this week. The combined 4-5 hours (in about 3-4 installments) of sleep I've been getting is now punctuated most nights by a looooong (sometimes up to 2 hour) awake period between 3 and 5. I had to sit down on the edge of the bed last night when trying to rock/walk her to sleep after an hour of wakefulness, because I honestly thought I might drop her. I was standing up, but my head was nodding.

Did you adjust to the extreme lack of sleep? Every muscle in my body hurts it seems. If I survive this, I'm so running a marathon...it will be a snap.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 2:56 pm 
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Bless your heart! I really do know exactly how you feel. It is better now than it used to be, but I would say nights like you described didn't stop in our house until around 18 months. I got used to the sleep deprivation, learned to nap during the day if I could get him to nap, and things gradually have gotten better. In fact, just in the last month I've been able to put him down for a nap most days, and he sleeps around 1.5 hours. By himself!

I really am so sorry you're dealing with this, because it is so hard. Exhaustion and sleep deprivation have definitely been the most difficult part of motherhood for me so far, because it makes every other little thing so much harder. I hope you are able to get something figured out soon, so you can all get some much needed rest.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 3:05 pm 
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There have been a few nights when I was just not able to get enough sleep to function the next day. So then my husband will take her (and give her bottled milk) so I can at least catch up on a few hours of good sleep. Is that something that your dnabsuh might be able to do? He could even take her out of the house to a park for a few hours, and let you get sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 4:11 pm 
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Oh yes, I sometimes (often) need help at night. If babynut won't go to sleep and I can't function anymore, I sleep while Papa takes a shift. He brings her to me if she needs to eat but otherwise I get a break. Of course, work schedules can make this hard. I'm the one who has to get up and be somewhere early in the morning on weekdays. On the weekend I try to give him a break.

I hope you get some rest soon. Don't feel bad about complaining!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 4:31 pm 
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Nate takes over baby duty after nine because I can't function. I deal with any wakefulness during the night, in the morning it is usually me.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:02 pm 
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I am genuinely impressed and happy for those of you who have a helpful partner. It is really hard being the only one who is willing or able to do any care taking, especially when it comes to sleep (or lack thereof, haha). I know it probably doesn't feel like much when you do the bulk of the childcare, though. You're all superstars, and you're all doing a wonderful job caring for your babies. It's okay to complain, and it's okay to feel fed up sometimes, because this job is anything but easy. Those who still have young babies, hang in there. Wherever you are in your sleep situation, it definitely gets easier.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 7:37 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
I am genuinely impressed and happy for those of you who have a helpful partner. It is really hard being the only one who is willing or able to do any care taking, especially when it comes to sleep (or lack thereof, haha). I know it probably doesn't feel like much when you do the bulk of the childcare, though. You're all superstars, and you're all doing a wonderful job caring for your babies. It's okay to complain, and it's okay to feel fed up sometimes, because this job is anything but easy. Those who still have young babies, hang in there. Wherever you are in your sleep situation, it definitely gets easier.


Yeah, I read the last few posts and I was like, whoa! The dads take care of the babies for some of the night? Without complaing the whole time so that it's not even worth asking? Amazing!

I also have a crappy sleeper. For a while I blamed bad parenting and wondered if I should have done something more proactive like Ferber, but I've decided it's just genetic. I am and always have been a lousy sleeper.

You do get used to functioning on less sleep eventually, and the older the kiddo gets the more consolidated the sleep will get, so instead of a dozen quick naps there might be a few longer stretches, and then you can nap too. NAP DURING THE DAY. You must. Hang in there, moms and dads.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 11:07 pm 
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Ugh, Grey is still awake, which means that once again I won't get any alone time. I am so tired of his late bedtime and the fact that he is acting all tired and fussy, but will not sleep. I just have no patience after taking care of him for 15 hours. I need him to sleep.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 11:32 pm 
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poopiebitch wrote:
refinnej wrote:
What is wrong with this girl? 5+ months and she's still sleeping like s 5 day old, waking 5-6 x's in 9 or 10 hours.

This is pretty normal for us now at almost 22 months. I hope the new bed works for you, but I just want to let you know that even if it doesn't, you will survive! I have... somehow :)


It was us for a long asparagus time too, until maybe 19-20 months. Then he just suddenly got over night nursing. He still co-slept for another 5 or 6 months after that and would very very occasionally wake up and ask to nurse... And I'd say no and he'd say okay and go back to sleep. It was a magical change in my life.

Anyway, I guess it's not that unusual but... I really hope switching to her own space helps!

Sleep deprivation (and sleep interruption) is used as a form of torture. It's not you overreacting to it, it really is just really shiitake-y for you to miss sleep day after day after day. I really think that a significant part of me not getting PPD thr second time around is that the Magician has been a suspiciously good sleeper since day 1.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 1:22 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
dnabsuh

Tee hee hee.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 3:07 pm 
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Heh. When we were trying to choose names, Katja was one of the man's favorites. He says to me one day "You know, it means "the torturer". Yeah, cuz that's gonna convince me. (eye roll)

dnabsuh pitches in gladly, but I feel terrible waking him up during the night, so haven't done so yet (at least not on purpose). He has to go to work during the day, whereas I can (theoretically) catch a nap with Freya (during her usually 35 minute naps...seriously, how does this child function?) She often has a long wake/sleep/nurse/sleep sorta thing going on in the morning for about 1 1/2 hours, and I'm able to catch a bit of sleep then.

She's such an awesome kid. We went to this sensory experience baby group thing today, and at one point she just leaned over and started trying to kiss another of the babies (who was a little freaked out). She was smiling at him like mad and was convinced that she *must* kiss him. Oh, my heart.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 4:19 pm 
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I hate those 35 minute naps! Leela can only stay down if she has my nipple in my mouth and I am contorted around her in such a way as to make sleep impossible. And even if I get a few winks, they seem to make me even more tired....

Good luck! I hope things get better!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 11:31 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
I hate those 35 minute naps! Leela can only stay down if she has my nipple in my mouth and I am contorted around her in such a way as to make sleep impossible. And even if I get a few winks, they seem to make me even more tired....

Good luck! I hope things get better!

Flexible!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 2:36 pm 
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Yeah...the contortionist routine happens sometimes during the morning nap, which is the one that can often go an hour+ (with nursing break or two in there)

Had a better "waking hour" last night...no having to get up and walk her back to sleep, just a bit of cuddling and quiet talk after a poop diaper @ 4:30. (after three hours of the roll/toss/turn/sigh...jeezus) Then, an hour of actual, god's honest sleep from 5:15ish-6:30ish. I can't figure this kid out, but heaven help me that was one blessed hour.


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