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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 7:25 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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If he's a doctor, it's pretty much guaranteed that he has seen much more embarrassing and disgusting shiitake than anything you could possibly say. Nothing wrong with talking about your body with the same nonchalance you would use to talk about your car- you put fuel in and you get shiitake out. Literally.
(also, remember, he shiitakes too!! that might help more.)

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 8:18 pm 
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that's true. i'll try to hold onto that thought. i mean, he is an army doc. who knows.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:37 pm 
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thisheregiraffe wrote:
woah, how can people poop once a week or less?!! Even before I was vegan (or vegetarian, for that matter), it was a daily thing.

I was always an infrequent pooper growing up. I don't know why. It's not like I was eating a diet with zero fiber or anything. But I only pooped about once a week and was plagued by stomach cramps. My mom went to the pharmacist to ask for advice and he recommended these awful fiber biscuit thingies. They were hard as rocks and they tasted like they were made of sawdust (I'm still not convinced they weren't!). My mom made me eat 2 of them every day and I still wasn't going any more frequently. As I got older, I was resigned to the idea of living a one-poop-a-week life, so I was pretty psyched when going vegan gave me daily poops!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:45 am 
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Tofu Pup Forever
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That cake I made in food porn? made me POOOOOOOOP. Like crazy :O


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 8:55 am 
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i clogged the toilet today. Again. Will not go into detail, but it was huge.where does all that poop come from??


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 11:00 am 
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Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
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The weirdest poop is what I like to call 'the plug': you have a smallish, maybe kind of hard poop and think, "Okay, i'm done!" And then it turns out you have a line of softer poops waiting behind that first one.

And THEN you clog the toilet.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 5:33 am 
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Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
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On the advice of my boyfriend I necked a huge mug of black coffee as quick as I could first thing in the morning, on the pretence that I would "shiitake my guts out" as he so nicely put it.

I didnt poop great, and I don't know if I was just buzzing from the caffeine, but I went and layed down afterwards and I swear I could feel every bit of whatever I'd consumed make its way through my digestive system. Like.. I could track where stuff was passing through my gut. Weird.
But then again I could not stop about thinking about what the definition of 'irony' was. Over and over and over again. I had to write down the definition I conjured up and stick it to much roomies door. (she asked what irony was, and i just couldnt stop thinking about it)

No more coffee for me.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:55 am 
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Addicted to B12 Enemas

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I have had really bad diarrhea every morning for like a year and a half...I also have this really awful rash on both my forearms. I don't want to know what I'm allergic to, I'm already a vegan! I was tested for celiac but don't have that (THANK GOD)


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 1:17 pm 
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Had some family over last weekend and fed them nothing but vegan. One relative who has been taking medication so she can poop just wrote me an e-mail and said that the green smoothie I fed her, along with the soups, salads, muffins, fresh juice, etc got her moving smoothly and she's had a great week of pooping!

You know you are headed in the right direction when you can get your family pooping again. And they write you an e-mail about it.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:07 pm 
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yogaburr wrote:
You know you are headed in the right direction when you can get your family pooping again. And they write you an e-mail about it.



Seriously. Every time I cook for my parents I get to hear about how great their poops are after eating my food. I am already aware of the wonders of vegan whole foods! I don't need or want to hear about your bathroom experiences, Parents!!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 5:02 am 
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Since I've been eating alot and often. For once in my LIFE... I've become a seriously regular pooper... in just ONE WEEK!
Oh my god its been amazing!!! Way to end 4 YEARS of constipation!!
I now go once a day between 9.30-10.30 am. It's not painful, its swift and smooth.
I Think I've earned myself a badge on my vegan scout sash!!!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 3:36 pm 
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Impressive boner
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I've had some pretty bad poops over the last couple of days. I can't decide if they've been caused by the sudden onset of hot weather or my period. Could be both.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:17 am 
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Thinks Plants Have Feelings

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My wee vegan Sprite, she's 3, clogged the toilet!! She has rhino-sized poos!!! I'm a proud vegan mommy- off to search for a 'My kid poops better than yours!' bumper sticker!


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:57 am 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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VanillaDoe wrote:
I Think I've earned myself a badge on my vegan scout sash!!!


This so needs to be a thing.

Elementary Pooping
Advanced Pooping
Poop Outreach

Someone design the badges!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 1:18 pm 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already

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I was wondering this morning, you know the tiny, hard poos people sometimes get when they're constipated and haven't eaten enough vegetables? That are called rabbit poos? Real rabbits eat grass, so are basically eating loads of fibre-rich vegetables. Whereas dogs, which eat mainly meat, have big squishy poos.
What is that all about?


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:35 am 
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Yesterday, I did lots of little poos. I wanted to do one big one, lot less hassle.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:58 pm 
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Pi_Face wrote:
Yesterday, I did lots of little poos. I wanted to do one big one, lot less hassle.


little poos are the worst. especially when your kind of constipated also.

Such as when your doing pooplets, and then you end up leaving the toilet, pretty sure that theres more left; but because it was done in bits, theres not enough push from any poop behind it and you have to go about your day... knowing that theres still some stuck inside, and then you wonder how long its gonna be before your body summons up more poop to get the last bit out... but then theres that fear that you'll do pooplets again, and then the EXACT SAME THING will happen and your caught in a cycle, there is no end...


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:07 am 
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Trapped On A Desert Island With A Cow
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Was everyone aware that people with vaginas can push their poop out by sticking their fingers up their cooch and pushing in an outward motion?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:37 am 
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Semen Strong
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NO!!!!! WHUTTTT!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:50 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
NO!!!!! WHUTTTT!!!!


I kid you not, I saw on Reddit the other day and actually asked my mom about it...she confirmed.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:19 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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teddyplanet wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
NO!!!!! WHUTTTT!!!!


I kid you not, I saw on Reddit the other day and actually asked my mom about it...she confirmed.

I saw that too, and I can't even imagine trying it out. What?! Also, I'm rarely constipated, so I guess I wouldn't need to anyway. Weird. So grossed out.

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:30 pm 
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what? Is it for people who are constipated or are people just doing it for fun?

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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:13 pm 
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Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
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Have you guys never noticed during a really big poop that it pushes against your vaginal wall? It's really noticeable if you have a diva cup, sometimes I worry that a big poop will push my cup out. There is very little space between your vagina and your anus. That's why women poop during birth!

/The More You Know

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The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:42 pm 
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Semen Strong
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
There is very little space between your vagina and your anus. That's why women poop during birth!


Intelligent design, my asparagus.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: The poop thread!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:41 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Tofulish wrote:
mrsbadmouth wrote:
There is very little space between your vagina and your anus. That's why women poop during birth!


Intelligent design, my asparagus.

Ha, yes. But even knowing that these parts are so close together, who decided to shove their fingers in to prod out a poop? Crazy!

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