Post Punk Kitchen Forum

From a blog I like--you can only expect your kids to be as good as you are. If you leave stuff all over the living room, so will they, and that's ok.
Which goes with modeling the behavior you want. Which is really hard with teenagers--I get my own adolescent reaction of why should I pick up your shiitake, you're almost grown, this is so anti-feminist and then remember I'm modeling having standards and practicing generosity and I'm not going to turn into a stepford wife by picking up a jacket before it gets stepped on.
Echoing Ariann that heirarchy of needs thing is huge, too. Remembering that if a kid's brain is hijacked by a fear of basic needs being unmet they're not going to be in a great place for higher level stuff, and their behavior can go off the rails. Even tho it kills me to still have to reassure, there will always be enough food here, you do what it takes. That example's specifics of that are with foster/adopted kids, but still applies.
And something I got from foster parent training, parent the need, not the behavior. And parent the kid where they're at, not where they should be.

That's a good one.

I have to reassure MYSELF that there will be enough food sometimes so that I don't completely lose my shiitake (sometimes I lose it anyway), so it seems totally reasonable that a kid would need extra assurance of that.

What is best for somebody else might not be best for YOU.

Always cut sandwiches in quarters like an 'X' rather than like a '+', that way the can eat in closer to the crust.

I read that in an interview with someone (I forget who) in response to the question- 'what is the best parenting advice you can offer?'. Good advice I think.