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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:29 am 
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Oh yeah! I will help in whatever ways I can, in advance and beforehand - in Canada <3<3<3<3

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:30 am 
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This dress is really pretty!
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http://www.jlmcouture.com/Lazaro/Brides ... Style-3045

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:42 am 
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These are some good sites in addition to the Off Beat Bride.

http://www.100layercake.com/

http://www.theunbride.com/

http://www.weddingbee.com/

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:51 am 
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Even though I am one of those grumps who finds weddings supremely annoying, I am VERY happy for you guys and hope you have a wonderful ceremony! <3 ;)

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 12:13 pm 
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I forget, I thought you moved to Vancouver, but your location says Victoria, so that's where you live/work, yeah? Anyhow, I've got mad florist connections in Vancouver if you'd like. If it's on the island that might be a bit difficult.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:11 pm 
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just wanted to say congrats, vijita!

my spouse and i weren't vegan when we were married six years ago, but we had an ice cream bar instead of cake and cupcakes. we had a ton of ice cream flavors for people to choose from and then cones, waffle bowls, etc. - and a HUGE table full of ice cream toppings. i know store-bought vegan ice cream can get expensive, but i wonder if making your own is an option/doable.

just thought i'd put the idea out there. :)

i'm so excited for you, vijita!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:24 pm 
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I know this is weird, but... if I ever went to a wedding and they just like a pile of kick asparagus brownies for dessert (and maybe some ice cream to go with) I'd probably be like THIS IS THE BEST WEDDING EVAR.

Also, congrats!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:50 pm 
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Congrats to you and all the other ppk brides!

As far as pictures are concerned, one thing that a few of my friends have done lately is do disposable cameras with a scavenger list. If you aren't having seat assignments or anything like that, you can just stack up the cameras with the lists on a table somewhere and let your guests go to town. The lists are usually fun things like "a picture of the bride with her parents", "someone holding two drinks", "two people who have never met dancing" or "a bridesmaid without her shoes"... just like 8 or 10 random silly things and one or two things that you'd really like - the bride and groom's first dance, a picture of the entire wedding party, etc. But that way you have a few different pictures of the same thing in case something doesn't come out or someone's eyes are closed or whatever. When my friend Elissa did hers, she made it into a game and the first table that finished their list got some kind of prize - I think it was like some kind of candy and gift certificates and a few bottles of wine.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 3:10 pm 
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vijita wrote:
ameyfm wrote:
Vijita, I don't really want white either. In fact, I just wanted a sporty little number. I might actually wear a green dress that I already like that I feel comfortable in. Otherwise I found a pretty simple little bridesmaid dress that comes in light blue and is very understated. So that will be a back up option.

Green twins! I'm obsessed with having green. And I remember ijdi's dress was green and it was beautiful.


Thanks! I tried on a few white dresses and I looked at myself in the mirror and was like "who the hell is that?!" So yeah, no white dress for me!

My advice, that my mom gave me and I objected to at first, is hire a professional photographer. that was the most expensive part of our wedding, but I'm really super glad to have great pictures. I was initially just going to ask friends who are photographers to take pics, but I'm really glad I went with a super pro.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 5:08 pm 
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I am a super-grump when it comes to weddings and am already trying to think of a crappy excuse to get out of my sister's wedding this year, but I will SO cry at vijita wedding pics just as I cried at ijdi wedding pics. SQUEE! <3

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 5:11 pm 
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Also, I will send both you and amey white organica chocolate for your wedding thingies <3

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 5:45 pm 
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interrobang?! wrote:
Also, I will send both you and amey white organica chocolate for your wedding thingies <3


Just for that I will have to cancel my wedding and marry you!! :) :)

My wedding goal for this weekend is to finish the invites, which we are doing ourselves. I made the design, and then we got some really great invite blanks at kinkos/fed ex. They are white, with envelopes and a little pearl boarder, but otherwise blank. They're pretty cool!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:07 pm 
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We're not doing flowers either. I'm making centerpieces with stuff like pinecones, yarn, and sticks since our wedding is in the winter.

I highly recommend the book/blog A Practical Wedding to anyone getting married. It is full of good budget advice.
I don't think weddings are annoying, I think weddings are forking awesome. Two people comitting to eachother for the rest of their lives is awesome! The wedding industry and consumer nature of modern weddings sucks.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:52 pm 
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I like it when nice people get married! And I think that a wedding that stays focused on celebrating the awesome relationship of two awesome people is really a great and wonderful thing.

We eloped, and can I tell you something? While it made 100% sense in our case, I am genuinely sorry we didn't have a party. So much so that we're vaguely thinking about having a re-wedding in another year or six (for our 5th or 10th anniversary) and inviting everyone to dress fancy and eat good food together.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:59 pm 
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ameyfm wrote:
interrobang?! wrote:
Also, I will send both you and amey white organica chocolate for your wedding thingies <3


Just for that I will have to cancel my wedding and marry you!! :) :)


HELLO

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:12 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
We're not doing flowers either. I'm making centerpieces with stuff like pinecones, yarn, and sticks since our wedding is in the winter.

I highly recommend the book/blog A Practical Wedding to anyone getting married. It is full of good budget advice.
I don't think weddings are annoying, I think weddings are forking awesome. Two people comitting to eachother for the rest of their lives is awesome! The wedding industry and consumer nature of modern weddings sucks.

BUT YOU'RE DOING A BRIDAL BOUQUET! YOU SAID!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:29 pm 
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Mars wrote:
Nebraskalaska wrote:
We're not doing flowers either. I'm making centerpieces with stuff like pinecones, yarn, and sticks since our wedding is in the winter.

I highly recommend the book/blog A Practical Wedding to anyone getting married. It is full of good budget advice.
I don't think weddings are annoying, I think weddings are forking awesome. Two people comitting to eachother for the rest of their lives is awesome! The wedding industry and consumer nature of modern weddings sucks.

BUT YOU'RE DOING A BRIDAL BOUQUET! YOU SAID!

yes! Just not like centrpieces! Actually, I'm gonna PM you soon!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:28 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words, guys! I still feel like such a weirdo planning this because I'm normally kind of cynical about this stuff, but the truth is I do really, really love my partner and we've been through so much together...so we deserve a party!

Thanks Mars! I do live on Vancouver Island. Honestly, I don't think we'll do any flowers at all. We're getting married on a farm with a ton of natural beauty--that's enough for me. :)

We wrote the guest list today and it's at 33 people (+ one cat I couldn't bring myself to omit). A bit bigger than I expected but I really want my closest friends there.

Amey! I can only imagine how adorable your invitations are. Please post pics! Jay is drawing ours and I'm stoked. We have this dumb card I gave him years ago with a dog and a cat just sitting there, and for weird reasons the dog resembles me SO much and the cat him, so we've joked forever about that being our invitation if we ever got married. So it won't be the invitation, but we'll probably have copies as a little insert just because we are weirdos.

I'm not doing a bridal party or anything. Mostly because I have two sisters and then Jay's sister, so I'd have to have three plus a friend if I wanted to have someone I really hang out with, and that seems excessive for such a small wedding. Plus some of these traditions are just silly to me. Tradition for tradition's sake.

I really don't want people fawning over me as a bride. That's so not me! They can fawn over my cat. Because that's what I do.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2012 8:28 pm 
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interrobang?! wrote:
Also, I will send both you and amey white organica chocolate for your wedding thingies <3

<3


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 4:22 am 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:
We're not doing flowers either. I'm making centerpieces with stuff like pinecones, yarn, and sticks since our wedding is in the winter.

I highly recommend the book/blog A Practical Wedding to anyone getting married. It is full of good budget advice.
I don't think weddings are annoying, I think weddings are forking awesome. Two people comitting to eachother for the rest of their lives is awesome! The wedding industry and consumer nature of modern weddings sucks.

I came here to plug http://apracticalwedding.com/ too! I really enjoy the website. It's slightly more focused on marriage than the other offbeat wedding planning websites out there.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:32 am 
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Cool, the free spreadsheets on that site are great. Thanks!

How important are "save the date" notices? We have March 30th booked and are inviting 32 people. Jay's going to draw the invitations but not until he's finished a big project he's working on right now. Should I just email the people I'm inviting who live far away or is that hearsay? Is this actually the dumbest question I've ever asked the PPK?


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 8:43 am 
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it's not dumb. there's a lot of annoying stuff about weddings that we don't care about, but other people do. so it's hard to figure out what the proper thing to do is.

we made a wedding website on theknot.com (it had the least ugly templates) and then e-mailed everyone we were going to invite with a link to the website. that was the save the date and i think that's totally fine, especially with such a small party.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:49 am 
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yeah, we did a save-the-date card... but we have more people coming, AND we accidentally decided to get married on Labor Day Weekend... so we figured people (especially everyone with kids) might start planning their summers early. March is probably a less busy time.

We just finished out website. It has things like directions, don't-buy-us-presents and such. I actually ended up doing it on blogger, because I wanted more control over how it looked. Musty had started one on eweddings - but they wanted to charge us money and they told us what every link would be called and it was making me mad.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:51 am 
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vijita wrote:
Cool, the free spreadsheets on that site are great. Thanks!

How important are "save the date" notices? We have March 30th booked and are inviting 32 people. Jay's going to draw the invitations but not until he's finished a big project he's working on right now. Should I just email the people I'm inviting who live far away or is that hearsay? Is this actually the dumbest question I've ever asked the PPK?

We did save the dates because 90% of the guest list will be from out of town. I don't think they're necessary for a small wedding with mostly local folks, I'd just send the invites out early, like 2 months. And let any out of towners know so they can make arrangements.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:53 pm 
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Nebraskalaska wrote:

I don't think weddings are annoying, I think weddings are forking awesome. Two people comitting to eachother for the rest of their lives is awesome! The wedding industry and consumer nature of modern weddings sucks.


Yes! This! My fella and I are planning a 100-guest wedding, and if anyone had told me a year ago that I'd be doing this, I'd think they were crazy. While I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, I've donned the cynic-cape for so long that it took me a few months to get used to the idea that holy crepe! we're spending money that could be put down on a house! and I'm wearing a freaking long and girly dress! What the hell?

And then I had to think about it a lot differently: we're really investing in a day of not-arbitrary celebration. People who've been close to us for a long time will get to share in that--and when I think of my long-distance friends who haven't ever seen me so happy, or how tickled my parents are because do they ever love my fiance, and how all of his friends that he's kept close to for more than a decade will be nothing but smiles...that's a huge deal.

And for anyone having a big wedding: it doesn't have to be a production or a spectacle. Neither my fella nor I care if things aren't perfect. All the money we're spending is going entirely to local business--our venue is a local brewery and I'm even having my dress made out of sweatshop-free materials. Given all of the above, I've really stopped stressing about the event. And damn if I'm ever looking forward to writing my own vows and telling a room full of people just how fantastic the love of my life is.

I sincerely hope I did not just cause anyone's head to figuratively explode with sentimentality. Or literally, for that matter.

My point is: it feels really good to ditch the "weird" feeling and just own all the ways in which you want this celebration. Because if you didn't want it, you'd have gone to the courthouse already.

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