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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:37 pm 
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Oh, Aubade! I don't have any real advice since I haven't been in your shoes, but I just wanted to say you are a wonderful mother! Please don't beat yourself up. Most of the time I'm one of those moms who loves nursing and co-sleeping, but I've definitely had moments where I absolutely hate it and I know that irritated, uncomfortable, used-up feeling you describe so well. And the lying awake while everyone, dog included, sleeps blissfully. Ugh. I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope you get some good rest soon and that these issues resolve themselves. You are obviously a loving, thoughtful mom and Kai is super lucky to have you.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:07 pm 
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It's very common for kids to have so called sleep regressions right before big milestones... Maybe this is that?

And I just want to say, as much as I've enjoyed nursing overall, now that my supply is basically gone I find it super uncomfortable. The Emperor's showing much less interest most days so I'm trying to just ride it out but if he was still nursing these empty jugs 3+ times a day I'd definitely be outright hating it and wishing for it to end.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:28 pm 
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aubade- the sleep thing- my son has slept an average of 1 hour less a night then is suggested, I 'do' everything right ( well except for making him sleep alone because it means less sleep, dispite what hte experts say) and my son is in great shape. He speaks in long sentences, he draws circles and he is 26 mths, and he can build things that resemble what he wants them to- cranes, dump trucks, etc. So please don't worry too much about sleep- anyway, its not forever, likely its a sleep regression, my son general sleeps even worse right before and right after he figures something big out- walking was huge- i felt like a zombie.

Also, i have found that nursing and my period don't go together well, and i got my first period around a year- pms makes me feel like nursing is horrible- my skin crawls- the first couple periods it was very bad, but then it got better.

We still nurse 1-3 times a day, i would love to wean, but with another move on the way (with a date that is STILL unsettled), i don't want to upset his life, and of course i got my period a few days ago, so i especially don't want him to nurse. This too shall pass and i'll miss it, right?


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 7:08 am 
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God, I'm sorry, you sound so miserable!! I distinctly remember this happening regularly, and the feeling of powerlessness- nothing like sleep deprivation to make you feel like it will NEVER GET BETTER. It will. Hang in.
It sounds to me like two things are happening-
1) either he's at a growth spurt/devp point OR coming down with something. we saw a lot of this behavior with Sprog when she was at a growth spurt, and after a day of this i was not happy. It passes, but not as quickly as you might like. unless of course he's getting sick, in which case maybe you'll be lucky enough for him to sleep it off. My second daughter had a lot of this behavior, except she didn't nurse and had sensory issues and didn't like being held, so it was really, really frustrating. Our pedi suggested giving her tylenol if we were at the end of our rope and seeing if it helped, as it couldn't really hurt. After all, she could have been screaming because she had a headache or something and we never would have known. Anyway, your mileage may vary.
2) Sounds like you, my dear, have had enough. You nursed/coslept for almost a year, sleep deprivation isn't doing your health, your mental state, or probably your relationships any good, so why continue it? If you've been thinking about moving him to a crib, (even though, i hear you, you don't want him to cry it out, and i can respect that too), there are other folks here who've done it, i know i saw that Jewbacca and someone else besides me were not cosleepers for very long, talk to us, it's possible without being an Evil Parent.
3) i hope you have real people in real life who can be helpful, even if just to talk to. I wish I were in Jersey right now, though I'm not, because I would invite you to my mom's house so you could take a bath/nap and i'd let Kai splash water all over the kitchen. Sounds like you need a break.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:11 am 
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Thanks for the kind words all. Now that you mention it jildez, my mood swings have been off the charts since Sun, so maybe it is related to my period. I haven't gotten it back yet, but I read on kellymom you can still have cycles and PMS as your body gears up for getting it back.

Also torque, maybe it is related to him being sick. He was sneezing a lot on Friday, and last night his nose was stuffed. Before this he already was sleeping pretty well in the crib, still waking up 2 - 3 times a night but at least going right back to sleep in the crib after a bit of nursing. It has only been the past 4 nights where he'll sleep in it for the 1st half of the night, then around 1:30AM wake up to play then won't go back in it. Although last night he stayed in it until 3:30AM, so that was a little better. I can deal with it for a few hours so I just didn't fight it and try to make him stay in the crib because that definitely made it a lot worse the night before. I hope he goes back to staying in it all night soon!!

It is actually the weaning that I don't know how to do without him crying.

Here's another question about that. I was reading last week that cups with straws are better than sippy cups (something about how it makes their tongue move and speech development) so I was thinking of letting him practice drinking out of one soon. But is it better to wait and only put (oat) milk in it after he's a year, when I really plan on trying to start replacing bottles of formula with oat milk...or should i put formula in it now to get him used to using it, then replace the formula with oat milk later?

I guess it probably doesn't make much of a difference, but I thought maybe one way might make him more likely to accept oat milk than formula...anyone have an opinion either way?

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 10:53 am 
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I'm thinking it is an ear infection. Blasto and Fini have both engaged in this when they've been really ill. Have you taken him to the doctor yet?


I'm so sorry you were shortchanged on sleep. It does get better. Trust me.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:49 am 
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I feel like I need to do an update because that last post was so bad. I'm embarrassed! I really don't know what was going on with him last week, but things have basically returned to normal. It may have been his sniffles (which I think may be fall related allergies), or teething, or the fact that his daytime caregiver was on vacation for a week. In any case, he is back to normal now even though not much has changed.

We are actually at a cottage in the catskills right now, and ironically after a 2.5 hr drive on Fri, when he was woken up from the car seat when we arrived at 10 pm, he slept soundly from 10:30 - 5am! It was so sweet! I felt human again. I don't know if maybe it was because he saw his daytime caregiver on Fri again after a whole week - maybe he had separation anxiety and that allayed his fears. Who knows.

In any case, I think my freakout was definitely because of some pre-pms hormonal thing + sleep deprivation. It was so unlike me! I know I have to be prepared for these type of regressions, (and your comments helped me realize that) since they will happen when he is sick or going through who knows what.

I definitely do want to start getting him onto oat milk (as mentioned in the other thread). But I also do want to keep breast feeding him as long as he needs it. So I'm back to going with the flow as much as I can.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:18 am 
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Moms done with weaning: how long did it take for you to completely dry out? I'm having issues with lefty. (insert sinking feeling here) I'm calling my doctor to make an appointment, because I don't believe it is milk. I know it isn't milk. I'm not experiencing any pain whatsoever, but am super concerned. You know me, worst-case-scenario girl. I'm already planning my funeral.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:28 pm 
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i'm still nursing but my mom and step mom both said that it was a month to 6 weeks before they were dry, and they let their kids self wean, so that may have some effect.

jewy, you weaned a while ago, is it just a lump? have it checked, but your breast tissue IS still adapting and changing, so it hopefully won't be anything. Breastfeeding is actually really good for protecting your ladies, so i hope they are just readjusting to life as non-udders again. Keep us updated, i am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:55 am 
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jewbacca wrote:
Moms done with weaning: how long did it take for you to completely dry out? I'm having issues with lefty. (insert sinking feeling here) I'm calling my doctor to make an appointment, because I don't believe it is milk. I know it isn't milk. I'm not experiencing any pain whatsoever, but am super concerned. You know me, worst-case-scenario girl. I'm already planning my funeral.


I weaned near the end of June and I still have milk. Nothing like I had when I was nursing, but a few drops escape here and there. My boobs still hurt when I hear a baby cry too! Crazy.

Hope everything is okay with your situation!

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 8:07 am 
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I think the Emperor has finally dropped his last nursing session. Out of the past 7 days, he hasn't nursed at all on four days (two at the beginning of the window, two at the end of the window), nursed for < 5 minutes on two days, and nursed for a normal period (like 40 minutes, oy) once. Yesterday he asked, but I was making dinner, and by the time we were done dinner he had forgotten about it entirely.

Jewy, I'm thinking about you and your lump!

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:07 am 
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Thanks Kelly, that does put my mind at ease. I've been doing more reading-(which can be a bad thing if you have a big imagination) and wondering if the lump is a fibroid cyst. I had that diagnosis about 15 years ago and didn't start having problems until now. I'm just gonna keep plugging along and see what the doctor has to say about it. I have to remind myself that I am not a physician, I am a wookie.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:46 am 
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i had a fibroid cyst a few years ago and it scared the patootie out of me. this is going to sound like a really wacko suggestion, but on the off chance that there is still some milk in them-thar hills, you might want to stick some cabbage in your bra. http://www.lactationconsultant.info/cabbagecure.html
jewy- i've been meaning to send you a message these days asking how everything is- however i am a lazy and overworked SOB and didn't do it yet, so while i'm here- i'm thinking of you and hope things have been going better.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:14 pm 
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What ever happened with your lump jewy? I'm assuming it must be ok?

I revived this thread because I'm planning on finally totally weaning Kai on June 29th. He's only been nursing before bed and occasionally when he wakes up during the night/morning, so it isn't much. But I've tried a few times to put him to bed without it and he cried and cried, wasn't having it at all.

So on June 29th I'm going to a really good friend's wedding in Cali. I could only take 1 day off so we decided only I would go, while my husband stays home with Kai and we use this as an excuse to wean. I'm leaving Fri morning and will be back Sun by his bedtime, so it will basically be just 2 nights without me (for the 1st time ever).

I just feel totally clueless about how to do this though. Should I try to do it before I leave so it isn't cold turkey? Or just let him deal when I'm gone? Do I explain it to him first? He's 20 months old now.

I would really appreciate any advice on what is the best way to go about this.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:22 pm 
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YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!

Kai went to sleep without boobie tonight!!!!!!!

Without any advice, I went on my own and decided to try to slowly give him a little less each night. He cried a little but seemed to do ok. So tonight I put him in the crib without it and he cried a bit but I just hugged him while he stood in his crib, then after a few seconds he laid down. I sat nearby while he tossed and turned a bit, but eventually fell asleep!

HOOOOORAY!

I feel like I should have the biggest party in the world right about now!

Granted, he was super tired tonight bc we were playing outside for hours, so I don't know if it will stick. But I think it was a huge step. Wuhoo!

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 11:50 pm 
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Cool, Aubade!


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:46 pm 
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Wanting to check in because it seems like my almost-10-month old is weaning herself to a bottle. I'm feeling a little sad, but also have to admit I've not loved nursing as much this time around and was thinking of wrapping it up around 12 months anyway. She started having a bottle when the sitter was here, and over the last week she's let me know in no uncertain terms that it's now her preference. At first she was still nursing at night wakings, but last night it was almost like she was humoring me - she kind of lightly latched on and smack, smacked for a minute, then smiled and went back to sleep. I'm a little confused about making sure she's getting enough formula but I'm going to try to trust her to eat enough and let me know when she's hungry. My boobs are pretty achy at the end of the day but they're starting to get with the new program. So strange how different each kid is - my son nursed until 17 months and still does that fish lip thing when he sleeps, he lit up like the sun every time I unclipped my bra. My daughter just never had the same intensity about it which makes this a little easier to accept. Luckily I can say that bottle feedings have been super snuggly and sweet - she even pulls the bottle out of her mouth and offers it to me when she's getting full.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:26 pm 
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It is nearly impossible for me to get Lorelei to sleep during the day for naps without nursing her. I have tried other things. I have started the night time routine in the crib but she still wakes up every 3 hours without fail, to eat. She will be 10 months old soon. I am feeding her 3 meals a day plus snacks. I need to wean her by 12-13 months from the breast.

She does fall asleep now in her crib at night without nursing which is a big milestone, it actually took less than a week... much better than expected. I don't know what to do next though. I am hoping she will start to sleep in longer intervals on her own.

I thought to myself maybe I can continue to breastfeed her once a day or so after she hits 12 months and bring a manual breast pump with me on the ship just to ease engorgement and such but there are times where you have 12 hours of watch, or general quarters, or fire drills, or man overboard drills where you are stuck doing something else for half the day. I don't know if I could get away with it. Maybe though. Maybe.

So how does breastfeeding once a day work for some of you moms whose babies are mostly weaned? I mean the actual mechanics of it. Once your supply gets pretty low, it's okay to go a whole day with just one feeding? Just curious how it works if you go that long without emptying your breasts.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:21 pm 
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dragonssister wrote:
So how does breastfeeding once a day work for some of you moms whose babies are mostly weaned? I mean the actual mechanics of it. Once your supply gets pretty low, it's okay to go a whole day with just one feeding? Just curious how it works if you go that long without emptying your breasts.


I actually went to once a day originally on the advice of a lactation consultant. She told me that once your body gets used to producing the lesser amount, it will just stick with that amount. So it is a supply and demand sort of thing. In the beginning my son would still wake up in the middle of the night once or twice, so I guess we were doing it more like 2 - 3 times a night, then eventually usually 1 x with an occasional second time in the morning. I never had any problem with engorgement.

We did it like this for so long I really couldn't even believe my boobs were still making milk, but every so often I squeezed a bit and sure enough some came out. I don't think he was getting much (especially since I always had a low supply to begin with) so it was more for comfort than anything. Especially now I really didn't think any was coming out, but it has been 6 nights in a row he hasn't had any boob at all, and sure enough today some dripped out when I was getting into the shower! My boobs did feel a bit heavy & full the past few days too, though nothing that drastic or uncomfortable.

I tried to wean him a few times over the past couple months but he'd cry a lot. So I was very happy this week when he only sort of cry-complained a bit, not really all out crying. He cries harder when I won't give him his ipad! I guess he was ready and so was I. Last night and tonight he just moaned a bit then went right to bed.

So for us going down to 1x per day worked really well. I feel like he got the extended benefits of the comfort and bond, which was probably extra helpful since I work full time. And now we just sort of gently ended it. All around good!

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:22 pm 
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Postpartum body thread or weaning thread? Post-weaning body issues, I suppose...so, my little girl totally quit nursing a week ago at 10 months. She'd been down to once a day for a week or so, and then called that off too. She seems really happy and cuddly with the bottle so that's all good. What's not so good is my poor boobs. The achey feeling is finally subsiding - they felt the most explode-y on Thursday and then they've been mellowing out a little ever since - but they are doing some weird stuff. Last night, righty just leaked and leaked and leaked...not milk, just clear fluid...and today it feels like a normal non-milky boob. But lefty still feels pretty full and sore and is a good handful larger than the other side. Can someone please tell me, despite what the internet says, that my boobs may eventually be ok again? And did anything odd like this happen when you were weaning your baby?


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:59 am 
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OK, if anyone's interested, physically things are starting to feel way more normal now at 10 days out. I've got the blues pretty bad - nothing specifically related to the end of nursing, just all of it...she's hardly a baby anymore, the three-year-old is this giant long-legged kid, did I enjoy it enough?, how did it go so fast?, she's our last baby, my body is so thrashed...pretty sure this is the post-weaning hormonal change you hear about.


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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:22 am 
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Today is day 2 of no more boob time for Miles and it's going so well! We only had our morning, in bed, nursing session left to give up and since we were away yesterday I decided to stop it and he totally accepted it! I'm so excited about this and sad at the same time. Our morning nursing time helped me slowly wake up and now I have to just get out of bed because I know if my husband brings him into our room and I'm in bed still Miles will want to nurse.

I'm just so thankful at how easy this has been for us and I'm excited to start wearing real bra's again.

My two questions are how will I know when I'm done producing milk? Is it obvious when I'm all dried up?

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:37 am 
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I don't know how true this is, but a friend just told me is you extended nurse you never truly dry up? I have no experience with it....

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:05 am 
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I haven't nursed Silas since last July and I'm still producing milk.

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 Post subject: Re: The wEAn thread: support/help/? for moms done with it.
PostPosted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:11 am 
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Kelly wrote:
I haven't nursed Silas since last July and I'm still producing milk.



Oh my! Do you leak occasionally?

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