Post Punk Kitchen Forum

19. "Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a strategic spritz to extend the encounter... Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other's body, such as the nipples."
On an unrelated note, this is also a great way to train your cat not to pee on the rug.

1. Put a small piece of masking tape on the bottom of his mouse, making sure it covers the trackball or optical sensor. Watch as he struggles to read his e-mail — and don’t forget to write “Gotcha!” on the tape.

2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.

4."Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it towards the base. (Imagine you're pushing his penis into his body)."

Ha ha, REAL men totally don't know what items really exist at grocery stores .

Oprah had one where you had to tell your partner where you wanted to be touched in sequence before things got started (and vice versa), so it was supposed to be face, fingertips, shoulders, back of thighs, neck etc. and then your partner would say their sequence. I tried it once. My partner went "genitals."

35. "As you're eating dinner together, say something X-rated like, 'See how I'm devouring this piece of meat? That's how I'm going to devour you.'"

18. "Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations, like peanut butter and honey or whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and mix up yummy treats all over his body."

"Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it towards the base. (Imagine you're pushing his penis into his body)."

"If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why."

"Be especially careful if he is neat, well-groomed or spending more time at the gym."

"If his wardrobe is constantly changing, watch out!"

Not ecofriendly? It could be a sign that he'll trash your relationship too."

"Keep your eye on a guy who loves to social network - he may need constant attention."

22. "Mix one tablespoon of saliva (the kind deep in your throat works best - its viscosity makes it a good substitute for lube) with one tablespoon of water to stretch the spit."

Deep throat spitting. Oh joy.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS? I'M THE ONLY FRIEND YOU NEED!

I like the end ones about cheating
He may be thinking about kittens, for example, or have just bought a new XBOX game.

What I don't understand about the saliva one is: what are you then using this concoction for? Or are we just hocking for funsies?

I think it's for lube. Why reach for the KY when you can just spit on each other?