Breaking News: No Global Warming sez God

dandirtyapes · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:08 am

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1328366/John-Shimkus-Global-warming-wont-destroy-planet-God-promised-Noah.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Quote:

Representative John Shimkus insists we shouldn't concerned about the planet being destroyed because God promised Noah it wouldn't happen again after the great flood.

Speaking before a House Energy Subcommittee on Energy and Environment hearing in March, 2009, Shimkus quoted Chapter 8, Verse 22 of the Book of Genesis.

He said: 'As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, will never cease.'

Invictus · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:23 pm **Posts:** 2463

Well, that's that, then!

pandacookie · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:48 am

But what if Noah
Had just said "No sir"
Well we'd all have fins and scaly skins
We'd breathe through gills instead of nostrils
And we'd eat fish food instead of vitamin pills

mel c · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:31 pm

There was also this gem! As vegans, I think we can all agree that starving the plants is a bad thing.

Shimmysham wrote:

It’s plant food. … So if we decrease the use of carbon dioxide, are we not taking away plant food from the atmosphere?

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/03/28/shimkus-plant-food/

graffiti · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:53 pm **Posts:** 1564

That should be grounds for disqualification from office.

The plant food thing? Dunce cap and corner. Stat.

Rach*n · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:36 pm

This thread makes me laugh heartily. Thank you!

Nickalya · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:48 pm

Yes Mr. Biblesezso... Carbon dioxide levels were higher in the Carboniferous period... You can make plants bigger with C02 supplementation now too. Did you also know that those plants are thereafter less nutritious despite being bigger?

Lixa · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:18 pm

Cool. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside burning Styrofoam in an oil drum until God comes back for me!

pandacookie · **Posted:** Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:14 pm

Lixa wrote:

Cool. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside burning Styrofoam in an oil drum until God comes back for me!

I would be willing to dress up in corpse paint and cape and join you. It sounds like the makings of a decent video.

Call of the Burning Foam

green faerie · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:28 am

If he's so worried about depriving plants of oxygen, why doesn't he go and hug a few trees and share some of his CO2 directly with them?

Dr. Horrible · **Posted:** Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:20 pm

Hahahahahahahahahaha. OH man. Hahaha! Ha. Hm. Hmm. Man, that was good. "God promised!" That is one excellent point.

Lixa · **Posted:** Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:04 am

pandacookie wrote:

Lixa wrote:

Cool. If anyone needs me, I'll be outside burning Styrofoam in an oil drum until God comes back for me!

I would be willing to dress up in corpse paint and cape and join you. It sounds like the makings of a decent video.

Call of the Burning Foam

A Blaze of Styrofoam in the Northern Sky

Olives · **Posted:** Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:19 am

But what if god was crossing his fingers behind his back? Or it was opposite day? That sounds like something Old Testament God would do.

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