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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 5:00 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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I laugh now, but before I had kids I would have thought I was being totally helpful and accommodating by suggesting that.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 5:06 pm 
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Semen Strong
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annak wrote:
I laugh now, but before I had kids I would have thought I was being totally helpful and accommodating by suggesting that.


Me too, which is why I didn't start laughing at her right there. Its going to be at Concrete Bar, which is all neon and noise. I really can't even begin to envision the magnitude of the meltdown that place would engender. But hey $3 domestic beers!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:38 am 
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Spending half a week without the babe and husband, am in a hotel with a big old king-sized bed and have to be alert and with it today and guess who did not sleep last night AT ALL.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:35 pm 
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Chip Strong
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That sucks Ariann. That would totally be me. Last night Scarlett slept for the longest stretch since she was born, and I was up every 5 minutes making sure she wasn't hungry.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:35 pm 
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Why does it bother me that people continually think Freya is a boy. Now, I can understand maybe when she's wearing her Star Wars shirt (but still, sigh). But come on, one day at the park she was wearing a *dress* and a dad asked if she was a boy or a girl. Today, she was wearing a pink hoodie with a heart on it, and yet someone says "what a cute little laddie". Still another day, some lady on the bus said "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that she has a boy head". What the hell does that even mean, "boy head"?

Why does this bother me so much? I've never thought twice about whether I'd offer Freya cars and trucks to play with, or teach her good batting stance...all the stereotypical boy stuff. Of course, she should be free to choose what activities she likes, free from the restrictions of her gender. Of course she can wear blue clothes and get dirty. Yet my pacifist self wanted ever so slightly to slap the "boy head" woman upside the head.

I want people to know that she's a girl. Sigh. They're going to take away my feminist membership card.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:47 pm 
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It's okay, refinnej. I get irritated too because people call poopiebaby a girl all. the. time. Like, always, exclusively, people assume he is a girl, and has since he was born. It doesn't matter what he's wearing. I think when he was younger it was because of his really long eyelashes, and now his curls that I refuse to cut don't help the situation. Not to mention his amber necklace. I feel like it shouldn't matter to me, but for some reason it does.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:55 pm 
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Chip Strong
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Everyone calls Scarlett a boy since we don't dress her in pink. Today she actually wore a dress for the first time, with a puffy skirt and flowers on it, but I guess since it's a blue dress someone still called her a boy. People are so weird.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:04 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Ariann wrote:
Spending half a week without the babe and husband, am in a hotel with a big old king-sized bed and have to be alert and with it today and guess who did not sleep last night AT ALL.

Oh no! Poor you! On the plus side, good sleep tonight! I feel like if I had a king bed all to myself a porno track would start playing and i'd be like "I'm going to sleep in you so hard, I'm gonna sleep in you All Night Long!" Bowchicawowow

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:15 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Ariann wrote:
Spending half a week without the babe and husband, am in a hotel with a big old king-sized bed and have to be alert and with it today and guess who did not sleep last night AT ALL.

Oh no! Poor you! On the plus side, good sleep tonight! I feel like if I had a king bed all to myself a porno track would start playing and i'd be like "I'm going to sleep in you so hard, I'm gonna sleep in you All Night Long!" Bowchicawowow

Oh yeah, on the odd night that grey does sleep well I will wake up all night and make sure he is still alive because he must be dead to be sleeping so well.

And everyone assumes grey is a girl too. He could be wearing a sign that says, "I am a boy" and people would still think he is a girl. Lately it has gotten a little better because he is dirty all the time and only boys get dirty.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:25 pm 
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Yeah, people assume Inez is a boy a lot (less now that she usually has a barrette holding her long bangs out of her face). Honestly, it doesn't bother me. She is who she is and a stranger calling her "him" doesn't matter one way or the other. Plus the whole idea of the boy/girl binary just seems so dumb to me, especially as applied to babies. They're babies! But saying Freya has a "boy head" was weird and rude. What does that even mean? People are so strange.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:04 pm 
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Yes, people always assume that both my kids are girls. An elderly woman made this assumption the other day about the Magician (who was wearing a blue shirt with a truck on it at the time) and was so embarrassed when she realized her mistake. She blurted "but he's just so pretty!" which caused me to laugh uproariously. He is a very pretty baby, she's right.

I have no idea what makes people think a given baby looks like a particular sex. They're babies. They look like... Babies.

Still happens with the Emperor now that he's older, despite his propensity for dressing very very "boy." (He chooses his own clothes in the mornings now.) Hey, he's pretty too.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:12 pm 
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Oh, aontario boy/girl tangent: the Emperor was excitedly paging through some bright pink princess books at the bookstore yesterday and another, slightly older boy came up to him and was like, "you can't read THAT, that's not for you" and tried to get him to give up his princess book for a truck book. E totally ignored him and was like LOOK PRINCESSES!! It made me mad (at this other boy) yet proud (at E for not wavering on the thing he was interested in).

I hate it, but I am still really sad about not having a daughter. Yesterday was really bad for it (went to a baby crepe store, felt awful, thought the bookstore would cheer me up and then was bombarded with gender-divided kids books all over and felt worse) but this moment with E lifted my spirits a lot.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:13 pm 
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Dr Bronners, MD
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Ariann wrote:
Spending half a week without the babe and husband, am in a hotel with a big old king-sized bed and have to be alert and with it today and guess who did not sleep last night AT ALL.


Yup. C&S and the kids are going to visit my parents for a couple of weeks starting in a couple of days (after which I will drive up to visit and bring them home), and I expect it'll be weirdly quiet for a while and I'll have trouble sleeping. Except for the part where I'll be able to read in bed until I fall asleep, which will be WONDERFUL.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:14 am 
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How do you guys handle gun play? We don't have any toy guns in our house (and don't plan to), but it seems as though Ezra is getting to that age where he's turning seemingly innocent toys into weapons. I never really thought much of it - I felt like banning play like this outright would make it worse and lead to him doing it even more.

But this weekend while we were hanging out at the Y, a man ripped into E when he was making shooting noises with a ruler towards his general direction. He yelled at Ezra, saying things like he didn't want to die and that he was a bad person. Ezra's never been yelled at like that, and it really shook him (and me as well, because this guy never actually talked to me, and I was standing right there). We got out of there pretty quick. Granted, I think this guy was a bit over the top, but it did get me to think about his play more. Any advice on how to handle gun play without making it even more inviting?

(I feel like I'm defending my child and my parenting, but I have to say E's not thinking of it as guns and bullets and hurting people. He calls this ruler he plays with a "water shooter", and he's thinking of it as shooting a stream of water and getting someone wet, like how we play at the lake or whatever. He also "shoots" with his dinosaurs, because they have "power" and they're giving power to each other. But it's all with the same Sarah Palinesque "pew pew" sound. I don't know, it's hard to explain. It's just that my child isn't seeing shooting as a negative thing. I think in a year or so, we can have a talk about how shooting actually can and does hurt people, but for now I just need a way to cope with how it can look from outsiders, and how to get him to be a bit more respectful.)


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:27 am 
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refinnej wrote:
Why does it bother me that people continually think Freya is a boy. Now, I can understand maybe when she's wearing her Star Wars shirt (but still, sigh). But come on, one day at the park she was wearing a *dress* and a dad asked if she was a boy or a girl. Today, she was wearing a pink hoodie with a heart on it, and yet someone says "what a cute little laddie". Still another day, some lady on the bus said "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that she has a boy head". What the hell does that even mean, "boy head"?

Why does this bother me so much? I've never thought twice about whether I'd offer Freya cars and trucks to play with, or teach her good batting stance...all the stereotypical boy stuff. Of course, she should be free to choose what activities she likes, free from the restrictions of her gender. Of course she can wear blue clothes and get dirty. Yet my pacifist self wanted ever so slightly to slap the "boy head" woman upside the head.

I want people to know that she's a girl. Sigh. They're going to take away my feminist membership card.


This bothers me too for some unknown reason. My friend was giving me grief about always putting a bow or barette on A. and I told her because if I don't no matter what she's wearing, people think she's a boy.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:30 am 
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Flava, I think all (most?) kids go through a gun play phase. We similarly don't do toy guns or anything and some time back, the Emperor started pretending sticks etc are guns anyway. His preschool handled it by making it more abstract... The kids couldn't "shoot" at each other but they could point st each other and make funny noises (E likes "touk") which is really probably what shooting games are about for little little kids anyway.

My personal approach to it with E is that I tell him a) he can't point his "gun" or whatever AT anyone, and b) that while he's welcome to play a fighting game, I am not interested in playing with him. My refusal to play a particular type of game goes a LONG way with him at this age.

Also, that guy who yelled at Ezra? No matter how big a pacifist you are (and I am!), that is really just a crasshole thing to do to a little kid.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:12 pm 
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A lot of people look at Carlos and think he is a girl. But a lot look at him and think he is a boy too. I think maybe people just throw out girl or boy randomly when they are that little. I dunno.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:16 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:

Also, that guy who yelled at Ezra? No matter how big a pacifist you are (and I am!), that is really just a crasshole thing to do to a little kid.

Absolutely. The guy sounds extremely unpleasant.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 3:26 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Flava, I think all (most?) kids go through a gun play phase. We similarly don't do toy guns or anything and some time back, the Emperor started pretending sticks etc are guns anyway. His preschool handled it by making it more abstract... The kids couldn't "shoot" at each other but they could point st each other and make funny noises (E likes "touk") which is really probably what shooting games are about for little little kids anyway.

My personal approach to it with E is that I tell him a) he can't point his "gun" or whatever AT anyone, and b) that while he's welcome to play a fighting game, I am not interested in playing with him. My refusal to play a particular type of game goes a LONG way with him at this age.

Also, that guy who yelled at Ezra? No matter how big a pacifist you are (and I am!), that is really just a crasshole thing to do to a little kid.


Ditto to all of this. How old is Ezra again? Kids under maybe 4 tend to shoot guns (and similar play) without thought of the other people involved. It's "cool", you can make one with your own finger that you always have with you, you get to make neat sounds, etc. Age 4 and up can sometimes get involved with gun play in tandem with that whole superhero phase...working out about "good guys" and "bad guys". My response to my preschool kids has always been to say that I don't like to play with guns too. We had to walk a bit of a thin line often, particularly in Michigan as many of the kids' families have guns at home.

Thanks for the reassurances about the boy/girl thing. I really don't want it to bother me, but it does. I think it's just some sort of weird mommy insecurity. She's mistaken for a boy nearly every day at least once if we're out very long, and something inside me gets crazy worried, I guess. (geez, parenthood forks with your head!)


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:51 pm 
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Malka is constantly being mistaken for a boy - probably a combination of her wearing lots of gender-neutral clothes (if it ain't pink, it's not a girl) and being super active/mobile (because boys are more active? or some such nonsense?). I pretty much never correct people, but then it gets super awkward if the conversation continues and they ask for her name and then I have to explain the name because it's weird and then they over-apologize for getting it wrong. People, I SO DON'T CARE if you think my kid is a boy. It doesn't matter. She's a baby. She has no gender expression. I kind of think of her as as close to genderless as possible at this point. But my husband has started to get surprisingly antsy about the situation and corrects people a lot now and wants to dress her more and more in pink. This is the same guy who didn't want to tell anyone the sex ever (a la that Storm kid). Will definitely be a topic for conversation in the future.

I wouldn't be stressed about it either way - if it bothers you, if it doesn't, etc. Western culture is really uncomfortable with gender ambiguity, so it makes sense for a parent to be distressed about someone getting the sex of their baby wrong. On the other hand, babies seriously don't care, and people getting it wrong now is not going to mess up your kid's gender self-understanding or expression in the future.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:06 pm 
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No one ever mistakes Leela for a boy, but that is because all her freaking clothes are hand-me-downs from a very awesome friend, who dressed her kid in wall to wall pink.

People are dumb and say shiitake they shouldn't allatimes. Like asking if you're pregnant while you're holding a 2 month old, asking if your 4 month old is walking and calling you Mama yet, or asking if the kid is yours, or if she's a boy. Also, boyhead is hilariously dumb. Sometimes when people say really stupid shiitake to me, I tilt my head, look confused and walk away. Its really passive aggressive and immature, but it amuses me. You don't have to engage with every idiot out there.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:13 pm 
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Tofulish, that is so the perfect response to stupidity.

ETA: The only smart gender thing I've heard about Malka was from a kid. A kid came up to us and asked if she was a boy or a girl and we said girl and he said, yeah, I bet a lot of people think she's a boy because she doesn't have a lot of hair and we said, yup they do, and he said, that's dumb, because all babies have no hair. Yeah seriously kid.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:37 pm 
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OMG, the babywearing group I belong to wants to do babywearing LARPing. I am in love with the idea. IN LOVE!

And some babies have hair. Those freaky hairy babies that are part kitten. Like my wigfarm. Leela's ponytail is now down to her shoulderblades. Seriously. It was the only fun part of todays ped visit.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:44 pm 
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Hahaha. Well, there are some totally gorgeous exceptions to rule of bald/short-haired babies.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 8:45 pm 
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The Emperor is waiting in line to go on a ferris wheel. A Ferris wheel. MY BABY.

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