Kids say the darnedest things 2.0

Mack the Spork · **Posted:** Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:16 am

hahaha, thanks! She's awesome.

Kelly · **Posted:** Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:58 pm

Silas stood up at the movies today and lectured a mom of a crying baby. In a cute way.

Silas- "MOMMY! WHY THAT BABY CRYING? WHY THAT MAMA DOESN'T HUG THE BABY???"
Me- shushing him and whisper explaining that I'm sure the mommy or daddy is helping and that the baby is okay, it's just crying because it doesn't have words, etc
Silas- "THAT POOR BABY STILL CRYING! I'M SO SAD FOR THE BABY! HEY BABY'S MOMMY? MAYBE THAT BABY NEEDS A HUG? TRY HUGGING THE BABY!"
Me- tons more shushing, lots of begging him to be quiet, more whisper explaining.
Silas- "TRY GIVING THE BABY SOME MILK! MAYBE A BOTTLE OR MAYBE BOOBIES, SOME BABIES LIKE BOOBIES SOME LIKE BOTTLES!"
Me- my friend and I were basically dying at this point. Torn between dying of funniness or embarrassment. nearly bribing him to please dear gawd whisper, dont yell.
Silas- "OH THAT POOR POOR BABY! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THAT POOR SAD BABY! WHY DID THAT MAMA BRING THAT BABY IN HERE! IT DARK AND NOISY AND BABIES DONT LIKE DARK AND NOISY! THAT POOR BABY IS SO SCARED! OH NO! WAIT! MAYBE IT'S A PEEPEE! DOES THE BABY HAVE TO PEEPEE! THE POTTY IS RIGHT OUT THE DOOR!"
Me- threatening to make him leave if he says one more word

Finally the baby stopped crying, and Silas THEN decided to whisper about how happy he is for the baby and that he bets the mommy is so happy that he was helping her fix the baby.

A few minutes later, more crying and that whole scene played out again, with neighboring moms in tears laughing.

I just. Can't even.

ijustdiedinside · **Joined:** Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:43 pm **Posts:** 8531

Haha! Kelly that is so great! I like how Silas knows that it's ok for some babies to breast feed and some to have bottles.

What movie?

Kelly · **Posted:** Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:10 pm

It's much easier to laugh about now that it's over!

Shrek Forever After. It was one of those kids club morning movies, so people pretty much expect it to be noisy, so that was good.

Tofulish · **Posted:** Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:23 pm

Awwwww! That does it, I am driving to Florida to come hug Silas! That is one sweet kid!

sofrito · **Joined:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:09 am **Posts:** 250

Kelly, that might be the best story ever. Hilarious!

Pinko · **Joined:** Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:42 pm **Posts:** 1661

I woke Inez up laughing at that story. Silas, you are the best.

Kelly · **Posted:** Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:49 pm

It's going to be interesting when his cousin is born (any day now) and he realizes how often babies cry!

erin32mc · **Posted:** Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:48 pm

BEST story ever, Kelly!!!!

sofrito · **Joined:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:09 am **Posts:** 250

Me: "Lucy (3), what book do you want to read tonight? How about Where the Wild Things Are?"
Lucy: "I told you a thousand times I want to read Peter Rabbit so let's just do that."
I swear, I had a glimpse of what life will be like with a teenage daughter who is just so over how stupid her mom is.

keen_on_quinoa · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 1:09 pm

A couple weeks ago Felix, 3 years old, asked me why all the dinosaurs died.
I told him, "Well, no one really knows for sure, but they think a meteor, which is a big rock from space, hit the earth a really, really, really long time ago and caused the dinosaurs to die out."
"Oooooohhhhhhh, right!" He says.

Later on, he retold this theory to my parents. "Last night a meateater came and smashed all of the dinosaurs and then they died!"

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 1:17 pm

sofrito wrote:

Me: "Lucy (3), what book do you want to read tonight? How about Where the Wild Things Are?"
Lucy: "I told you a thousand times I want to read Peter Rabbit so let's just do that."
I swear, I had a glimpse of what life will be like with a teenage daughter who is just so over how stupid her mom is.

Ha ha ha ha. The Emperor (almost 3) and I have conversations like this all. the. time. Yesterday his dad asked him something... I think if he was done his dinner or something... and he rolled his eyes and said "sorry dad, I don't really want to talk about this right now." Attitude!

This morning he said:

"HEY! I can shoot blackberry juice up my nose. Let me show you."

jogirl · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:34 pm

keen_on_quinoa wrote:

A couple weeks ago Felix, 3 years old, asked me why all the dinosaurs died.
I told him, "Well, no one really knows for sure, but they think a meteor, which is a big rock from space, hit the earth a really, really, really long time ago and caused the dinosaurs to die out."
"Oooooohhhhhhh, right!" He says.

Later on, he retold this theory to my parents. "Last night a meateater came and smashed all of the dinosaurs and then they died!"

Ha ha! I love this!

FootFace · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:44 pm

keen_on_quinoa wrote:

A couple weeks ago Felix, 3 years old, asked me why all the dinosaurs died.
I told him, "Well, no one really knows for sure, but they think a meteor, which is a big rock from space, hit the earth a really, really, really long time ago and caused the dinosaurs to die out."
"Oooooohhhhhhh, right!" He says.

Later on, he retold this theory to my parents. "Last night a meateater came and smashed all of the dinosaurs and then they died!"

You can tell him that the meteor (well, asteroid) idea is now the official theory. Whatever that means, exactly.

mrose · **Posted:** Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:41 pm

Kelly, that was hilarious!

The other day, my son James got blueberry all over his hands and began shouting "D*MNIT! D*MNIT!"

oops

TheCrabbyCrafter · **Posted:** Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:21 am

The other morning, the kids started whacking my butt.
Both: Butt bongos!!**
*Beet starts slapping my shoulders*
Beet: Raygold, you know what this is?
Both: Butt shoulders!!

**(I butt bongo them, so that's how they know the term.)

Mars · **Posted:** Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:09 pm

Me to my 9 year old nephew: "You look kind of glum, you okay dude?"

Him, very matter of fact: "oh, I'm fine, don't worry. I'm just under a lot of stress right now."

And the saga of Sadorable continues.

8ball · **Posted:** Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:47 pm

During dinner Baby Godzilla sang 'YMCA' with the accompanying arm movements then proceeded to tell us all about how Kal-El flew away from Krypton in a little furry ship.

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Tue Sep 11, 2012 11:27 am

I told the Emperor no about something this morning and he told me: "you are NOT a nice woman."

He went to storm away and then saw the Magician sitting nearby and shouted "and YOU are not a nice baby either."

Maybe you had to be here, but it was really funny.

annasrobbie · **Joined:** Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 pm **Posts:** 489

VERY LOUD conversation at a local restaurant just after my 4 year old niece had returned from a trip to the bathroom:

4 year old Niece: Do they have prunes here? I need prunes to help me get my poopy out! My poopy is stuck and prunes will help it out!
3 year old Nephew: Sometimes poopy gets stuck in my bottom too. I need prunes too.
2 year old Niece: Poop! Poop! POOPY!

There will probably be a similar conversation amongst these three in another 70 years.

sofrito · **Joined:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 9:09 am **Posts:** 250

Lucy (3), who is recovering from food poisoning and is tired, apparently said this to one of her friends at preschool: "I'm really grumpy because I woke up at 3. So, get out of my face." We are so proud. :/

FootFace · **Posted:** Sat Oct 13, 2012 4:15 am

Went in to turn off TRS's light, adjust his covers and stuff. It's really late (2:00), and I managed to wake him up, barely.

"Pop?"

Yeah?

"Pop?"

Yeah?

"What can I draw to represent... ?" (Zzzz)

(I assume it had something to do with the latest role-playing/minecraft/terraria-type paper-and-pencil game he's been creating.)

littlebear · **Posted:** Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:48 am

My friends 2yo has started a really cute saying.
Mom: R do you want juice?
R: no, of course not

TheCrabbyCrafter · **Posted:** Sat Oct 13, 2012 11:39 am

FootFace wrote:

Went in to turn off TRS's light, adjust his covers and stuff. It's really late (2:00), and I managed to wake him up, barely.

"Pop?"

Yeah?

"Pop?"

Yeah?

"What can I draw to represent... ?" (Zzzz)

(I assume it had something to do with the latest role-playing/minecraft/terraria-type paper-and-pencil game he's been creating.)

I love this!!

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:17 pm

So we've been reading The Hobbit to the Emperor before bed, because he has reached the age where he wants to hear longer stories etc. It's been really fun so far, in part because he has all these new concepts and ties things in to the real world in funny ways.

Like yesterday we were going out in our rain jackets and he was like mama! We're all wearing hoods! Like the dwarves!!! So then we played dwarves all day, walked through Mirkwood to get to the grocery store, etc.

So he wanted to pick dwarf names for us. He decided to be Thorin (the king) instantly. He decided his brother was Balin. When it came time to pick a name for me, he was like, you're Bombur of course!

Bombur is the fat clumsy dwarf. Thanks guy.

Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Kids say the darnedest things 2.0

Who is online