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 Post subject: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:19 pm 
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Calls "cavemen" on that
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Then again don't. these are freaking hilarious.

10 Shades of Stupid: Cosmo’s Worst BDSM Tips

http://jezebel.com/5937084/10-shades-of ... -bdsm-tips

What the actual fork is up with the last one? I just can't even...what? What on my where? What am I, a parking meter?


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:51 pm 
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Awesome. Sometimes I heart Jezebel so much.

"Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth."

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:51 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
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These made me laugh out loud, especially the Jezebel comments.

Quote:
Incidentally, if the women who read Cosmo need to be cautioned against stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 2:20 pm 
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jogirl wrote:
These made me laugh out loud, especially the Jezebel comments.

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Incidentally, if the women who read Cosmo need to be cautioned against stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word

Haha... followed by "...given that you may already be holding a fork in this scenario..." Too much funny for work. Thank goodness I sit tucked back in the corner by myself where I can laugh myself silly.

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 2:55 pm 
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Let's form a pact right now. None of us will ever refer to anything we put on our breasts during sex as "yummy toppings" verbally or mentally ever again.

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:07 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Let's form a pact right now. None of us will ever refer to anything we put on our breasts during sex as "yummy toppings" verbally or mentally ever again.


Ever again?


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:09 pm 
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"Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth." AHAHAHA

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 3:09 pm 
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Friday wrote:
coldandsleepy wrote:
Let's form a pact right now. None of us will ever refer to anything we put on our breasts during sex as "yummy toppings" verbally or mentally ever again.


Ever again?

Ha ha!

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:21 pm 
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Oh my...if you need me, I'll just be over here practicing my fax noises

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:39 pm 
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Hahaha, FORK.

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:09 pm 
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What is it with Cosmo and strangling peni with accessories?

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:17 pm 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
"Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth." AHAHAHA


Every time you all quote this I bust out laughing again.


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 5:37 am 
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Do you think it would be okay if I used a cranberry muffin or would that totally ruin the mood?


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 7:56 am 
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Cranberry is probably better than chocolate chip. Probably. But only for kinky sex muffin purposes.


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 8:09 am 
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Ha that was hilarious!

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:58 am 
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put an ice cube in the muffin and let it melt over his lips as you press your thumb into his dislocated jaw.

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:19 am 
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Stick a fork in him; he's done!


Actually, I just can't get over the coin thing. I mean, i guess it's cheaper than buying glass or stainless toys if you want to do temperature stuff, but ????????? Really??? Frozen coins? No.


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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:18 pm 
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Surprise your man at the office with a fork and a sock full of (clean!) pennies!

Next time you have dinner at his parent's house, sneak one of his ties into your purse. Just as he's tucking into the green bean casserole, lasso his member with the tie and start tugging away. The thought of getting caught will make it extra hot!

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:31 am 
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This is hilarious and totally inappropriate to read at work. Just because I can't stop laughing and my colleague is on the phone.

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:08 am 
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This is the best. I love the one with the coins. Can someone please try that and post about their partner's reaction?

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 Post subject: Re: Oh Cosmo...please stop
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:22 pm 
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So I posted this on Facebook, and of course my dad was like, "Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth; what does that mean?"

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I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


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