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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:06 am 
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i guess that means my due date is probably the 4/22 the internet calculator said.
ill go with that!

i guess i need to figure out the insurance thing too since right now i am the carrier for our insurance but i plan on quitting my job. i have no idea what my husband's insurance covers.
i wonder if that is going to be an issue, getting different health care like a month before i deliver.
hmmm......

also anyone in the US know anything about maternity leave laws? are they national laws or state laws? im guessing i dont get any kind of paid maternity leave since i am not planning on returning to work......

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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 7:31 am 
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i didn't feel bloated with the last pregnancy but did with a prior one, drastically so. It did pass, if by pass you mean you start to grow into a large, hard, peeing pear.

(this reminds me of a friend who one day at work looked a little funny, she had "the glow" and was wearing "bloaty pants", and i totally just threw any self control to the wind and said "oh my god, you're pregnant" and told me to shut up, but then the next day told me that it turned out she was. Just a few weeks, too. So maybe people can tell?)

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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:05 am 
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i have really good pregnancy radar for other people so i think it is possible for people to tell before you're really showing.

i can think of 3-4 people i guessed were pregnant long before they announced it. each one there was just something about them and i was right each time!

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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:45 am 
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LisaPunk wrote:
i guess that means my due date is probably the 4/22 the internet calculator said.
ill go with that!

i guess i need to figure out the insurance thing too since right now i am the carrier for our insurance but i plan on quitting my job. i have no idea what my husband's insurance covers.
i wonder if that is going to be an issue, getting different health care like a month before i deliver.
hmmm......

also anyone in the US know anything about maternity leave laws? are they national laws or state laws? im guessing i dont get any kind of paid maternity leave since i am not planning on returning to work......


you mean, you're planning to quit your job BEFORE you give birth? or not return to work after? the insurance thing is kind of a biggy.

i'm going to say it's a REALLY REALLY bad idea to let your employer know you are quitting before you take your mat leave. because in most cases, you will then not be eligible for the benefits that employed people in your state and at your company receive. if you're not planning to return, that's fine, but don't say anything. it's probably a bad idea to quit before too, unless you feel like you and your pregnancy are really suffering from the environment at work (stress etc). if you become medically unable to work, or your workplace is legitimately unsafe for pregnant workers (chemicals, viruses etc) then you'll be eligible for disability, probably.

it's obviously a different situation in the states, and it also varies from company to company and state to state. you should really start looking into it, because it can get very complicated. your company handbook or hr dept can start you off.

by the way, congrats on your pregnancy! i know you've been planning on it for a little while...


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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:21 am 
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im planning on quitting before i give birth.
i absolutely hate it here and have no plans on coming back.
my husband and i dont see the point in paying tons of money for daycare just so i can go be miserable all day doing something i hate.

i am planning on telling them before hand. anything else to me would be just dishonest. i may hate it here but i dont have it in me to just lie. i couldnt do it. i would be racked with anxiety over the whole thing. if i dont get maternity leave then i totally understand that. it makes sense.

im more concerned about switching health insurance. right now i carry the health insurance so we will have to switch to the health insurance my husband can get which is fine i am just wondering if pregnancy is considered a "preexisting condition"

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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:47 pm 
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You will not get maternity leave if you quit your job (cuz that doesn't make any sense - maternity leave is to hold your job till you get back and often it's unpaid anyway). There are federal maternity leave laws (look up FMLA), but again, will only apply to you if you actually have a job. As was mentioned above, though, you might be eligible for disability payments after birth and they might depend on your having a job - for example, many people take their 6 weeks or whatever of company maternity leave, then take another 6 weeks of short term disability; in that time their employer can't fire them. I would really find someone really knowledgeable about this stuff to talk to before quitting so you know what your rights are and what you're eligible for in terms of disability if you quit earlier. Your HR person (if you have one) might even be able to keep you on the books so you're eligible for disability even if you're not really employed there anymore. Seriously, scope all that stuff out now.

I do agree that it's kind of crummy to your employer to not tell them you're not coming back after the birth. They need to hire someone to replace you and it's not so cool to leave them in the lurch, but that's what many women feel they have to do because our maternity leave possibilities are so shitty. If you can get your employer to work with you, that would be a much better situation.

I changed insurance twice during my pregnancy: from individual coverage to my job's plan, then from my job's plan to my job's new plan. Each time I switched I had to pay a new one time copay of like 30 bucks and that's it. I think the vast majority of insurance plans cover pregnancy fully and then make you pay like one office copay and one hospital visit copay (mine was $1000). But be careful (as I said above) about testing, especially non-routine testing, because that's the stuff they might screw you on. ASK FIRST. ASK BEFORE EVERY TEST. The biggest hassle was making sure my midwives billed the right insurance, because they kept sending bills to my old insurance companies.

In most states and possibly everywhere starting in 2014 (Affordable Care Act), if you have been consistently covered by any insurance company, there are no or minimal pre-existing conditions exemptions. Pre-existing conditions exemptions are about you not having any insurance at all, finding out you have cancer or are pregnant or whatever, and then shopping for insurance because you need to cover that condition. Obviously insurance only works if people are paying into it when they're well and a low percentage of enrollees have major health bills. So if they didn't exempt pre-existing conditions, people would only get insurance when they're sick and it would be prohibitively expensive.


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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 5:39 pm 
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The only knowledge I have of this was when my sister was pregnant. Her company had a policy that if you didn't return to work for a certain number of days after your maternity leave, you had to pay them a portion of the health coverage. Because the company was still paying the employer portion of the health coverage during the leave. And if that leave was actually you quitting then you owe them back that money. In my sister's case, she returned to work for a few weeks to make it seem like she planned on coming back, but then quit mostly because the baby's colic was so bad she couldn't function at work. Luckily the HR person let it slide since she made the effort to come back.

I would try to take advantage of FMLA and maternity leave even if you don't want to go back, just in case. Unless your company has a policy like my sister's did which could end up biting you.


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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 8:16 pm 
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i'll say one thing and then shut up. given the number of women i know (including myself) who were screwed over by either the system itself or their workplace when it came to pregnancy and maternity leave, i think it's really not unethical at all to get what you can out of your employer/government when it comes to financially covering yourself. i was fired for being pregnant and had to fight the system to get any compensation... i know women who've been fired, made redundant, etc while pregnant or on mat leave with no thought for them as to how they'd survive. the us only covers 12 paltry weeks for mat leave as it is! i think it's patently unethical that we put women in this position at all. it's a systemic failure in my mind.

anyway, my two cents. if your job is crappy and stressful enough that you want to leave anyway, i'd strongly consider doing what you can to make yourself eligible for that financial support.


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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:24 pm 
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Does the company you work for offer paid maternity leave? Ariann is right, you won't be eligible for FMLA if you quit. You also may not get paid for accrued sick or vacation time if you leave, so it's important to check the company policy.

Before you do any of that, I think it would be a good idea for your spouse to check with his HR department and make sure there won't be any disruption of healthcare coverage if you switch over to his insurance.

I agree with littlebird too, pregnant working women have very little protection in the U.S. and I would not feel the least bit guilty about waiting to give notice.

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 Post subject: Re: does the bloated feeling ever go away?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:36 pm 
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FMLA is unpaid leave. The only thing it guarantees you is that your job will stay open for you while you are out on a family medical leave (provided your employer is a certain size and you only take 12 weeks in a calendar year) and that you keep your health insurance during that time. If you quit, you lose your health insurance and your job isn't kept open.

I know so many people who've had their jobs eliminated while they were out on maternity leave and the good thing is that they get unemployment for that period, which can be very helpful.

I say don't burn bridges - you might need to keep health insurance coverage, you might want to go back or even to have them eliminate your position rather than quitting. But obvs its a personal call :)

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