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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:26 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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We just had this today...waking and looking for boobies to try and "suck to sleep". I just make my best guess. Today after the second round of boob I gently put shirt back in place and talked about "waking up time".


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:27 pm 
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How long has she been sleeping? It says you posted at 3:03, but I am assuming it is more than 3 minutes!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 7:03 pm 
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Tofulish, it really depends on how much I want him to go back to sleep. If I really want him to go back to sleep... Then I'll boob as many times as it takes. If it's kinda close to when he's going to wake up anyway, then I just stop whenever I am over it, if that makes sense.

We got the Magician a pack and play for naps recently and I have been working really hard at transferring him there when he's just fallen asleep, with the eventual goal of being able to put him directly in at nap time. It's been 2 weeks and I feel like the transfer part of the process (whether he wakes up or not when I put him in) is really hit or miss. But! I do find that if he wakes up 20 minutes into his nap or whatever, I can just cuddle him a minute or even just put my hand on his belly and he pretty much always goes back to sleep now. This is amazing.

I shouldn't brag about it on the PPK though because now it will instantly fall apart.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:14 pm 
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Tofulish, it really depends. I always want Grey to go to bed around 7-8. So I try not to let him sleep much past 3 in the afternoon. So even if he has only been sleeping 20 minutes I will let him wake if it is late in the day. If it is only 1 I will boob him as long as he will stay asleep.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:19 pm 
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She went down at 3pm and stayed down with boob breaks until 6. At that point, I didn't boob her again but let her wake naturally and then we went to a friend's potluck. She went down for the night again at 10, so she seems to be back on track.

Tired baby = well-rested mommy

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:25 pm 
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So .. Michael and I have decided to have kids. We're shooting for 2 years from now, near my 27th birthday. It sounds like a long time until I think "Hey wait, if I want to give birth in the fall of 2014, that means I have to get pregnant NEXT WINTER. OH GOD. THAT'S SOON."

What should I/we be reading to prepare for this huge, crazy, totally overwhelming life choice? Over-preparedness is my seawall against anxiety and depression, so lay it on thick.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:18 pm 
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Random, but I have a copy of this book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Ve ... 144052551X, if you want it. It wasn't as in depth as some of the mainstream books I read, but pretty nice nonetheless.

The pregnancy books we liked the best were Pregnancy for Dummies, and Your Pregnancy Week by Week (by DK Publishing).

This far ahead, I think there's not a lot you need to do in preparation, but some ideas might be: gain/lose weight if you need to, get off hormonal birth control if you're using it so that you can get your cycles in order, get any genetic testing you'd want done, get a blood test for Rubella immunity, check on what your maternity/paternity leave and insurance coverages are.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:41 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I thought this tongue in cheek post was quite funny.

Quote:
Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:05 pm 
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Kate wrote:
So .. Michael and I have decided to have kids. We're shooting for 2 years from now, near my 27th birthday. It sounds like a long time until I think "Hey wait, if I want to give birth in the fall of 2014, that means I have to get pregnant NEXT WINTER. OH GOD. THAT'S SOON."

What should I/we be reading to prepare for this huge, crazy, totally overwhelming life choice? Over-preparedness is my seawall against anxiety and depression, so lay it on thick.

refinnej wrote:
This far ahead, I think there's not a lot you need to do in preparation, but some ideas might be: gain/lose weight if you need to, get off hormonal birth control if you're using it so that you can get your cycles in order, get any genetic testing you'd want done, get a blood test for Rubella immunity, check on what your maternity/paternity leave and insurance coverages are.


I would think about whether you would be more upset/put out by having a child slightly earlier than your desired time, or later. I stopped birth control in November 2010 and am expecting our first child in December 2012, and we had no fertility issues at all, but between waiting for cycles to re-regulate and a first trimester miscarriage, this is just how long it took.
If you're happy for mid/late-2014 [is that when fall is?] to be the earliest you would possibly want to have a baby, then it's not something you need to think about yet, but for us, I'm pleased we started planning when we did because I would have been really disheartened to have to wait much longer. Just a thought.


T'lish I don't have a child yet so am probably unqualified to comment but that list is amazing/terrifying!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:11 pm 
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Semen Strong
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My kidlet is small, but Lesson 3 is about right, except not 3-5 years, but add putting a vacuum cleaner on your nipple for the duration.... Don't worry, its not that bad!

Post belly pictures!

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


Last edited by Tofulish on Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:19 pm 
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Top of the food chain & doesn't need to prove it
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sounds super fun!

Is it also a sign of preparedness that even after reading and imagining all that, I'm still super excited to meet this small person currently having a party in my belly?


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:23 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yes! Now post belly pictures :)

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:36 pm 
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I love Lesson 7. That sounds like my trying to go food or Target shopping with Miles.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:49 pm 
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refinnej wrote:
This far ahead, I think there's not a lot you need to do in preparation, but some ideas might be: gain/lose weight if you need to, get off hormonal birth control if you're using it so that you can get your cycles in order, get any genetic testing you'd want done, get a blood test for Rubella immunity, check on what your maternity/paternity leave and insurance coverages are.


This, AND...

your mileage may vary on the hormonal birth control issue - I got pregnant the month after I quit mine. Some people are a) just more fertile than others and b) have regular cycles that go right back to being regular after going off the pill. My understanding is that it's not generally the pill that messes up your cycles, but that the pill masks underlying issues that you may only discover when you go off it. Most people trying to get pregnant at 26 don't have fertility issues, but some do, and of course you never know until you start trying!

I'd get genetic testing done sooner rather than later if you are from a high-risk ethnicity (Eastern European Jewish, Cajun, French-Canadian, Black, and some others). If you have relatives who've had children born with hereditary illnesses, get tested to see if you're a carrier for those if possible. In extreme (and rare) cases of high genetic risk, some people go for adoption or IVF, so you'd want as much lead time as possible to decide about stuff like that.

I'd get your thyroid and iron tested. These are generally tested at the first prenatal appointment (8-12 weeks depending on provider), along with Rubella immunity, but since being infected with Rubella or having an improperly functioning thyroid puts you at much higher risk for birth defects, better to know now and get it under control before you get pregnant. Get tested for STIs so you can be treated now and not have to worry about it later.

Read and think a little about what kind of provider you want during pregnancy so you can meet them now and get to know them if you want to switch providers (or if you just have to - some Gyns don't do deliveries or won't have privileges to deliver at the hospital you want to deliver at or be able to do home deliveries if that's what you want, better to know now). You might also want to find a provider who will be supportive of your choices if something doesn't go well in a pregnancy. For example, if you wind up getting a problematic test result and are thinking of terminating, will your provider be supportive and help you make evidence-based choices?

At this point your job is to get as healthy as possible - get to your healthiest weight, get as fit as you possibly can, get your diet as healthy as you can (read Vegan for Life). This will serve you well down the line (and it's advice I wish I had taken myself!). Several months before you start trying to conceive, start taking a prenatal vitamin.

Get a book or two on pregnancy that's as unbiased as possible (I preferred the Mayo Clinic book - it is encyclopedic and clear and covers pre-conception through newborn care). Supplement with books that are in line with your values (I recommend Henci Goer's "A thinking woman's guide to pregnancy" myself). I haven't seen any veg*n pregnancy books that say anything that wasn't said better by other pregnancy books supplemented with Vegan for Life. Some of them also say things that are untrue or wishful thinking (like pregnant vegetarians only need 60g of protein a day, this is not true and is potentially harmful! - I believe it was "Your Vegetarian Pregnancy" where I read that). I also read a book called "Expect the Best" which is a nutrition book from the ADA and I'm happy to pass it on to anyone who wants basic pregnancy nutrition advice. I think "Vegan for Life" covers the topic well enough, though.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:34 pm 
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t'lish, i love that.

especially the recording of fran drescher while having your sleeve tugged part. and the full-grown goats part.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Just another little comment about coming off birth-control. Definitely use a back-up unless you wouldn't mind being pregnant right away. Everyone (including my OB!!!) told me that it would be 3-6 months before fertility would return after coming off the pill but the very first complete cycle off it I was pregnant.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:57 pm 
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annasrobbie wrote:
Just another little comment about coming off birth-control. Definitely use a back-up unless you wouldn't mind being pregnant right away. Everyone (including my OB!!!) told me that it would be 3-6 months before fertility would return after coming off the pill but the very first complete cycle off it I was pregnant.

And twins are more likely straight off the pill! I got pregnant 5 months off, but only second month of actually trying. The first ultrasound showed I'd released an egg from each side, which doc attributed to birth control.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:38 pm 
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it's a really good idea to look into daycare costs in your area and find out what kind of maternity leave you are eligible for. you might change how you feel once you're actually pregnant/have a baby, but it's really really good to have the facts and a vague idea of how you want to handle work/childcare costs etc beforehand. it might inform your career choices in the next little while too... if you need to look for a new job that has better benefits, then now is the time.

also, yeah, decide if you really are set on two years from now exactly, or if a little extra time in one direction or the other is no big deal. if you CANNOT have kids before two years (school, financial, whatever) then you probably need to assume that it might take longer, if you're only going to start trying next winter. however, mr bird and i got pregnant both times within a month of starting to try, so it can happen really fast too. the first time, we just assumed we'd be trying for a few months... i wasn't really aiming to be due until the summer, and had been hoping to work for an entire school year first... but we ended up with a winter baby.

other than that, there's not much to do but really enjoy your time as an unencumbered adult. it sounds cheesy, but really treasure this year and grow your relationship with your partner. do some cool stuff together, do some cool stuff on your own. if there's a hobby or activity you've been wanting to try, try it now.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:13 pm 
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And be prepared that it might take longer. I thought we'd get pregnant right away, and it took 2.5 years because of fertility issues. I think it felt incredibly crappy because I just had it in my mind that it would be quick, and then I ended up feeling defective. And a friend of mine is going through the same thing now, and I feel so sad for her, because it can be really hard.

tl;dr, be nice to yourself and try and manage your expectations re getting pregnant right away etc etc etc.

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My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:32 pm 
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I am going to go back and read what everyone wrote, but tofulish, that is hilarious! And frighteningly true!

Kate, you can borrow grey for a night for fun baby night time!

I got pregnant while still on bc, but you can start taking a prenatal vitamin now and I would try and get healthy eating habits so you don't have to change everything once you are pregnant. Also, do fun things with M.it is the lt time it will just be the two of you. Go to brunch and the movies, take long walks, do the things you love - read books, knit, sew, bake, whatever are the things you love, do the all the time. Enjoy the small amount of laundry you have right now.

I don't know if you guys plan to stay in the bay area, but childcare is pretty pricey, at least in Marin. So definitely look into that and start exploring different options. Also, even though it is far, far away, think aout where you will want to settle down and how the school system is there. If we do stay where we are the public schools are amazing and I am glad that I am forming a community here with other moms and babes the same age as grey. You can also look for a mothers group even now! The one I am a part of is starting a Berkeley chapter, I think, it has been an amazing resource. You can also start thinking about different birth options.

We should get tougher. It has been way too long anyway!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:40 pm 
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I would get a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and absorbing all the wisdom contained in that book!


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:30 pm 
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You guys are all so great, thank you! And Meg, we should definitely get together. That would be wonderful.

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:56 pm 
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Somebody may have already asked/answered this... but is there a good alternative to Robeez or PediPeds? We're not quite in need of shoes yet, but I figure I'd better start looking soon. Thanks!

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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:59 pm 
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kdub wrote:
Somebody may have already asked/answered this... but is there a good alternative to Robeez or PediPeds? We're not quite in need of shoes yet, but I figure I'd better start looking soon. Thanks!


baby Pumas! They are fake leather. We got some at Babies R Us.


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 Post subject: Re: dumb questions related to pregnancy and babies and stuff
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:03 pm 
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Toms has a vegan line in their baby shoes! But we're in the same boat, really. Sven is getting close to walking and I have no idea where to look for shoes for him. I figure I have to try them on, right? I have no idea how baby shoe sizes work.


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