Post Punk Kitchen Forum

You're better at this dating thing than me.

Wow, go you, Adam! I'm going on my date with OKC guy tonight, I have high hopes... I probably shouldn't given my past failed attempts at getting laid. Oh well.

its easy, all in 4 easy steps

1. Cut out the typical dating games
2. Make your intentions clear
3. Profit
4. Vegan cupcakes

Ha! I wish it were that simple!

Nice going Mr Crisis, sounds like a pretty perfect night!

That sounds excellent fezza! Good luck!


I had a really pleasant evening with the married couple. First the guy and I cooked and ate dinner, then the wife arrived and we had tea and chocolate and chatting and computer time and board games. I can see a potential friendship there (we share affection for the same guy, for knitting, for striped stockings, and diva cups).

I've remember what I hate about Match - winks! Winks are stupid and pointless, just email. And what I hate more is when a guy winks so I email them if they're ok because winking back is pointless and then they never reply! Why wink in the first place? It's stupid.

(Why am I doing this again?)

No! I liked winks. I think it just means "I'd like to email you but I don't want to bug you if you're not interested." And a wink back means "Go ahead and email." Biker boy and I started with a wink and a wink back!

As a married mom who has spent her morning collecting semi-chewed fruit detritus off the carpet and convincing the baby not to bite the cats or the dog, I am very slightly envious of all of you right now with your sexy foreign films, sexy cupcakes and sexy bikerboywinkiewinkietimes.

:) :) ;)

I had a similar experience! My love winked at me just to see if I was at all interested since we are very different (especially in the limited information given on a Match profile); he said he wasn't sure a little vegan lawyer lady would be interested in someone like himself...obviously wrong! And now we live together and have a lovely life in general over 9 months later

This made me think of fezza's dating experiences....

Ooohh, don't be jealous. I've called it all off. Picked him up just after 6pm and he was asking to be left home by 8.30. He was exhausted, and so was I, but I would never have called this date off two hours in. This is a guy who had to call two other dates off due to things with his kids (fair enough), refused to go on our arranged date after the textgate debacle, started conversation with me on Sunday evening only to ignore me the rest of the evening.. after I asked him what night he was free this week.. he was online a couple of times so was just not replying, for whatever reason. He asked to be left home, not could we go back to his after the cinema instead of mine. He then read my disappointment as "icy" and reckoned I wouldn't come in so that was his reason for not asking when we got to his.

Yes, it's all a bit much and complicated isn't it, it's only a drop in the ocean. The guy seems to really like me, I liked him, but his blowing hot and cold and peas poor communication skills are just too much hard work. Every time there's a mix up he thinks the worst of me then slopes or flounces off, rather than discuss it rationally. I feel bad calling it off, he has a history of depression, I've a feeling that might be what's causing his erratic behavior atm. But, I have a two month old niece undergoing surgery in the morning, my finances are under threat atm and I think I'm on the verge of being diagnosed with arthritis in my knees and wrists (on top of it being diagnosed in my neck), I shouldn't have to deal with being made feel I'm not worth much effort on top of things.

I am sorry fezza. I think you're doing the right thing, fwiw, even if he is dealing with depression. I think its so hard when the one person who is supposed to care about you doesn't treat you like they do.

You went to some effort to plan a nice first date, so to have someone cancel in a pretty unkind way just blows. And if someone can't be kind to you, I say let them go fork themselves someplace else.

Thanks T'lish <3

He's a nice guy and I know he's going to be really upset (I'm disappointed things couldn't work out, I'll miss him), but I also know his first reaction will be "I knew this wouldn't work, it always goes wrong for me", rather than "f'ck, I really should have though about how that would make her feel". He's been waiting for things to go wrong, but at the same time, not putting much effort into making them go right. You can't win with someone in that mindset.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing, Fezza. It shouldn't be such hard work so early on!

Thanks baps, it really shouldn't should it. Such a waste though, we did get on very well and the chemistry was great. There's just something in him that seems to stop him seeing things from any point of view but his own.

That's too bad, fezza. I hope you're not taking it badly or on yourself. It's his problem and you're awesome.

Thanks Anek, baby niece should be in surgery by now, I have more important worries this morning.

Sending oodles of good thoughts for baby niece's surgery. I hope it goes well and she has a quick and complete recovery.

No word from awesome date guy. Am i that bad at reading signals? Oh well...

Have you contacted him and he hasn't answered? Or were you waiting for him to make first contact? I don't think people should be allowed to end a date with a kiss and a "do you want to hang out again?" if they don't mean it.

I hope you don't mean that you're waiting for him to contact you first because that would be super silly!

Blocked a guy on OKC tonight. His messages were starting to creep me out and annoy me. ugh.

I did. Called last night and left a voicemail; emailed a quick
message to him today. And I totally agree, mt. I can usually tell when guys aren't into me. Didn't think I was that dense.

That sucks SD! Maybe he's just been super busy. I keep my fingers crossed that he'll answer with a realistic reason why he hasn't replied and all will be well.


Why on earth would you send a message that says "hi how are you" to someone you have 5% match with and 62% enemy??!? And who lives on the other side of the world? I'm sure California is great, but...
I mean... seriously man. Get real.

Another one instead sent a nice message, and we have 97% match. But! He has a picture holding a dead fish, in his things he couldn't do without has bacon and mac&cheese, and mentions BBQ as a religion. He only wants to go out as friends as he's visiting Munich from Alaska, but I fear that the non-veganness would be way too much...

Thanks, anek. It appears guys behave the same regardless of their geographic location here...

ITA about guys holding dead animals (fish, etc). Such a turnoff. Why would that impress any potential date?