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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:13 am 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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So, we pay a lot in taxes every year, despite paying quarterly and me withholding extra from my paycheck. Yet, we are not rich. If I become republican, will I instantly be rich? Can I start taking from the 47% who have been freeloading off of me all these years, or should I just be asking my husband this stuff instead?

Also, I am pregnant. Why am I still at work, and furthermore, why am I wearing shoes?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:38 am 
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designedtobekind wrote:
So, we pay a lot in taxes every year, despite paying quarterly and me withholding extra from my paycheck. Yet, we are not rich. If I become republican, will I instantly be rich? Can I start taking from the 47% who have been freeloading off of me all these years, or should I just be asking my husband this stuff instead?

When you become Republican, you're instantly on your way to getting rich. If you don't get rich, it's either because you weren't Republican enough or because liberals.

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Also, I am pregnant. Why am I still at work, and furthermore, why am I wearing shoes?

Whoa, careful now. That sounds a lot like 47% thinking. Remember, a pregnancy is a wonderful burden for a woman, not an entitlement program. If your husband can't afford to pay for you to sit around growing babies...maybe you should have thought about that before you married him. But you're married now, and those bonds are sacred (if they weren't, I'd suggest you become the 2nd wife to a more successful man), so personal responsibility means working until the water breaks (you could probably work a few hours after that, but better to be on the safe side).

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:52 am 
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mumbles wrote:
designedtobekind wrote:
Also, I am pregnant. Why am I still at work, and furthermore, why am I wearing shoes?

Whoa, careful now. That sounds a lot like 47% thinking. Remember, a pregnancy is a wonderful burden for a woman, not an entitlement program. If your husband can't afford to pay for you to sit around growing babies...maybe you should have thought about that before you married him. But you're married now, and those bonds are sacred (if they weren't, I'd suggest you become the 2nd wife to a more successful man), so personal responsibility means working until the water breaks (you could probably work a few hours after that, but better to be on the safe side).


I think she might be having an anchor baby... Maybe even twins, to make sure.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:55 am 
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republican or republican't?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:01 pm 
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Republican make America great again.

Republican't have any more of my money.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:07 pm 
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So, there's all this talk about making English the official language of the USA. Why is that? If I speak Spanish, will I turn into a Muslim?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:15 pm 
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Before you were a Republican, were you informed about world affairs? What happened to that knowledge now, and if it's gone, what did you replace it with?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:20 pm 
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Are you ignoring my question because I said vagina, or because i'm a woman?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:57 pm 
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nickvicious wrote:
So, there's all this talk about making English the official language of the USA. Why is that? If I speak Spanish, will I turn into a Muslim?

You're allowed to speak Spanish in Mexico. Just look how well that turned out.

aelle wrote:
Before you were a Republican, were you informed about world affairs? What happened to that knowledge now, and if it's gone, what did you replace it with?

I'm still informed, nothing I can do about that now. I just try approach political questions from a position of intuitive purity, unimpeded by worldly knowledge.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:58 pm 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
Are you ignoring my question because I said vagina, or because i'm a woman?

I'm triangulating a response. I don't really know what that means, but it sounds important.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:28 pm 
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I just want to say this is my favorite thread yet.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 1:56 pm 
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If I were to buy a car, should I buy new or used?

Are foreign cars ok? What about foreign cars (like Toyota) built in the US?

What type of car would you recommend? Prius? Mini Cooper? or something like a Hummer?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:02 pm 
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What else are scientists lying to us about besides global warming and evolution? (Sub-question: Should I stop recycling?)


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:11 pm 
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If you Republicans are all for smaller government, why do you want to legislate what I do with my body or who I can marry?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:19 pm 
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Are you rich now? Will I become rich if I change parties?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:25 pm 
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Friday wrote:
Are you rich now? Will I become rich if I change parties?


Not if you stay a teacher.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:17 pm 
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kasiakoz wrote:
If you Republicans are all for smaller government, why do you want to legislate what I do with my body or who I can marry?


It's a trade off. When we make it a big issue who you can or can not marry, most people won't notice how we'll help the rich getting richer.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:08 pm 
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I asked my mom to pay for college like Mitt said, but she's a waitress at a Coffee House and therefore won't do it. I also imagine she's in the 47%, although she has no healthcare and doesn't get government assistance but I bet she doesn't make enough to pay taxes and is too selfish to volunteer to pay her 15% like our man M.

I guess my question is, where can I get good republican parents to pay for my college and stuff? Is 30 too old to be adopted? Or should I not even be in college since I'm female?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:16 pm 
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Veg_Eric wrote:
kasiakoz wrote:
If you Republicans are all for smaller government, why do you want to legislate what I do with my body or who I can marry?


It's a trade off. When we make it a big issue who you can or can not marry, most people won't notice how we'll help the rich getting richer.

Wait, now Veg_Eric is a Republican, too?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:48 pm 
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I thought being European meant he was automatically a socialist. Mumbles, clear things up for us!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 8:00 pm 
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IsaChandra wrote:
Veg_Eric wrote:
kasiakoz wrote:
If you Republicans are all for smaller government, why do you want to legislate what I do with my body or who I can marry?


It's a trade off. When we make it a big issue who you can or can not marry, most people won't notice how we'll help the rich getting richer.

Wait, now Veg_Eric is a Republican, too?

It's a disease!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:45 pm 
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Or a virus?! *runs and hides*

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:13 am 
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Did you just want to let people know that you pay taxes?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:48 am 
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I didn't pay income tax when I was a grad student, but I do pay it now. Does that mean that I automatically become a Republican? Does it matter that the income I have comes from being part of the liberal elite of academia?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:57 am 
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FabulouslyFierce wrote:
Or a virus?! *runs and hides*

Great, we're all gonna get the Republicanism.


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