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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 1:20 pm 
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mrsbadmouth wrote:
If Republicans hate birth control so much, why don't they all have at least six kids?


Your question is also your answer. Or maybe that's just because most of the republicans I know are either Catholics or Mormons.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:21 pm 
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What country should we bom...err, liberate next and why?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:18 pm 
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What is your opinion on veganism?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:05 am 
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I am a 35 year old female. Never married most likely will never have kids (other than my dogs). Is it to late for me to become a republican? Or should I just remain a horrible warning for the young ones at family gatherings?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:43 pm 
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I'm thinking it's been determined that the PPK is old enough to be safe from legal abortion, therefore mumbles no longer cares to interact with us dirty liberals.

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Imma let you finish, but the Paranthropus Boisei were the greatest vegans ever.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:00 am 
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1) We need golden statues of Reagan. I won't vote for you unless this is a major plank in your platform.

2) Are there any books I should read after I graduate high school and am no longer forced by an "English" teacher to read things written in Latin (like Romeo and Juliet)?

3) If I like eating with chopsticks, does that mean I have a subconscious desire for communism? Also: is this sensation some sort of side effect from the spring rolls I eat at my local American-Chinese fast food place? MSG as an opiate for the masses is upon us, isn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:56 am 
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Fascist wrote:
2) Are there any books I should read after I graduate high school and am no longer forced by an "English" teacher to read things written in Latin (like Romeo and Juliet)?


Though I am not Mumbles, I'm pretty confident I have the answer to this, and it's a resounding YES. There are many great writers out there, both dead and alive. Ayn Rand, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Rielly all spring to mind. Fox News should do a fantastic job of telling you who to read.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:20 am 
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Fascist wrote:
1) We need golden statues of Reagan. I won't vote for you unless this is a major plank in your platform.

We should also carve Reagan's head into Mount Rushmore, replace the Statue of Liberty with a towering statue of Reagan, and preserve what's left of his body for public viewing in the Reagan Mausoleum (we can build that on top of the Democrat Party headquarters--it's not like they're going to need it anymore). Mitt Romney should accomplish all this on day one of his presidency, or he's a failure.

Quote:
2) Are there any books I should read after I graduate high school and am no longer forced by an "English" teacher to read things written in Latin (like Romeo and Juliet)?

Bekki has the right idea. Avoid fiction--most of that stuff is liberal propaganda, or worse, European. Except Ayn Rand--her stuff is barely fiction. It's telling that liberals have to invent things to get their unworkable ideas across, while the good guys deal in non-fiction: reality may have a liberal bias, but history belongs to conservatives.

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3) If I like eating with chopsticks, does that mean I have a subconscious desire for communism? Also: is this sensation some sort of side effect from the spring rolls I eat at my local American-Chinese fast food place? MSG as an opiate for the masses is upon us, isn't it?

I eat everything with the only American utensil, the spork. But if you can't get one when you're out at a gay orgy or whatever it is you people do, you should use disposable plastic cutlery. Even when eating pizza. Donald Trump has the right idea--we aren't savages, like Muslims or Italians.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:42 am 
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Glenn Beck has written at least two novels. One is about a sweater? Are those okay to read?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 11:54 am 
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Yes. You can also read Newt Gingrich's fantastic science fiction novels.

You definitely should read The Five Thousand Year Leap, the second most important book in history.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:04 pm 
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mumbles wrote:
Invictus wrote:
I'm in the military and I pay taxes. Do I have to be a republican too?

Wait, how did you get into the military without being a Republican? The liberal infiltration of America has made more progress than I thought.


But she is also PAID by taxes. So how does that work?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:18 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
mumbles wrote:
Invictus wrote:
I'm in the military and I pay taxes. Do I have to be a republican too?

Wait, how did you get into the military without being a Republican? The liberal infiltration of America has made more progress than I thought.


But she is also PAID by taxes. So how does that work?


What if she gets an abortion or purchases birth control with her paychecks? Isn't that tax-payer funded baby killing?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:21 am 
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bekki wrote:
Though I am not Mumbles, I'm pretty confident I have the answer to this, and it's a resounding YES. There are many great writers out there, both dead and alive. Ayn Rand, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Rielly all spring to mind. Fox News should do a fantastic job of telling you who to read.


Dead and alive? It's good to know zombies are represented amongst Republicans. I was worried for a while.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:23 am 
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Arlyss wrote:
bekki wrote:
Though I am not Mumbles, I'm pretty confident I have the answer to this, and it's a resounding YES. There are many great writers out there, both dead and alive. Ayn Rand, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Rielly all spring to mind. Fox News should do a fantastic job of telling you who to read.


Dead and alive? It's good to know zombies are represented amongst Republicans. I was worried for a while.

i knew coulter was a vampire.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:38 am 
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I've read Ann Coulter's books. I can tell you from personal experience--she is not a vampire. She might be some kind of lich or barrow-wight. I can't speak to that.

If she were a vampire, she could tap my veins anytime. Ever since I became a Republican I think she's hot, for some reason.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:46 am 
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i can't take your word for it; of course you're going to defend her. so now i have to lug around all these crosses and garlic bulbs and rhyming layabouts of the old forest while i'm scouring her home for jeweled goblets.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:54 am 
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Defend her? So I guess you think there's something wrong with being a vampire? So much for "tolerance".

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:08 am 
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she has every right to speak and publish as she pleases, but i'm pretty sure there's some sort of rule about draining the life force of innocents.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:09 am 
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acr wrote:
i'm pretty sure there's some sort of rule about draining the life force of innocents.

No, there's no law against being a member of the Republican Party.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:47 am 
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if you're a republican and a wraith, is it legal to feed on humans as long as those humans are women or members of the lower classes?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:53 am 
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It's legal for poors to feed on my life force (ie, my bank account), so why not?

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:53 pm 
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Blast those poors!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:58 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
Blast those poors!

Literally!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 11:23 am 
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mumbles wrote:
acr wrote:
i'm pretty sure there's some sort of rule about draining the life force of innocents.

No, there's no law against being a member of the Republican Party.

SNAP!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm a Republican now
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 12:32 pm 
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mumbles wrote:
Defend her? So I guess you think there's something wrong with being a vampire? So much for "tolerance".

But didn't God say "Adam and Eve" not "Spike and Drusilla"?? What's your thoughts on undead/undead marriage?

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