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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 7:41 pm 
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Can I say, that I am completely perplexed by the zero to 60 and then 60 to zero relationships? It happened to a friend of mine, and its another guy in his 40s who at first was so excited to spend every minute with her, went on and on about how amazing she was so she was always the one slowing things down, and then boom out of the blue it ended. And no real explanation, just that he couldn't do this right now.

Its just so weird that someone would go to all the trouble of telegraphing a depth of commitment that they really don't yet feel. Or if they feel it, that they can end it so fast. I just don't even get it.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:00 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
Can I say, that I am completely perplexed by the zero to 60 and then 60 to zero relationships? It happened to a friend of mine, and its another guy in his 40s who at first was so excited to spend every minute with her, went on and on about how amazing she was so she was always the one slowing things down, and then boom out of the blue it ended. And no real explanation, just that he couldn't do this right now.

Its just so weird that someone would go to all the trouble of telegraphing a depth of commitment that they really don't yet feel. Or if they feel it, that they can end it so fast. I just don't even get it.


It is such a head fork. Tattoo guy said he got a lot of the same, he noticed that the switch seemed to happen when he stopped holding them back and let himself like them. I noticed it was the same. Is it just a personality type that wants what it can't have?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:19 pm 
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Today I got group hugs with open relationship guy and his wife. I am happy.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:02 pm 
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Still dating both people. I really really like both of them. Ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:15 pm 
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Really having no luck at all on okcupid. It's eerily like real life.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:37 pm 
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ScooterDiva wrote:

ITA about guys holding dead animals (fish, etc). Such a turnoff. Why would that impress any potential date?

Coming at it from the other side, I've noticed lots of women looking for cowboy-types. Like a lot of "I want a real man who hunts/fishes/drunk drives a pick-up truck"


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:59 pm 
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Avocatom wrote:
ScooterDiva wrote:

ITA about guys holding dead animals (fish, etc). Such a turnoff. Why would that impress any potential date?

Coming at it from the other side, I've noticed lots of women looking for cowboy-types. Like a lot of "I want a real man who hunts/fishes/drunk drives a pick-up truck"

this is why you filter by 'vegan only, fork you'

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:49 pm 
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Mentioned in the crush thread about someone who has a crush on me but i'm not there yet, shall see. Am I just too wussy to even get one anymore? Don't know! Staying @ her house but no expectations (and a couch bed), its just because she lives 2 hrs away and im stopping there on the way home from outta town...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:20 am 
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lycophyte--I'm with you. I'm there. I'm having a hard time throwing myself into this dating thing. I want it, I really do, so what's the problem? I keep thinking if I lived in Asheville I would be surrounded by fairy dust and fantastic queers and life would be full of kittens and pie. That's not good thinking, though.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:39 am 
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joshua wrote:
Avocatom wrote:
ScooterDiva wrote:

ITA about guys holding dead animals (fish, etc). Such a turnoff. Why would that impress any potential date?

Coming at it from the other side, I've noticed lots of women looking for cowboy-types. Like a lot of "I want a real man who hunts/fishes/drunk drives a pick-up truck"

this is why you filter by 'vegan only, fork you'

The problem with that is that in certain areas this is a guaranteed way to remain single.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:45 am 
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papercuts wrote:
lycophyte--I'm with you. I'm there. I'm having a hard time throwing myself into this dating thing. I want it, I really do, so what's the problem? I keep thinking if I lived in Asheville I would be surrounded by fairy dust and fantastic queers and life would be full of kittens and pie. That's not good thinking, though.


Oh it is...but you have to get out more then me I suspect. And I think I'd have to see outside of the internet too. That's more work and more nervousness! But if you are off Monday's if there is another awesome Sunday night dance some time soon I'll let you know. It was awesomeness, but sadly I think they only happen a few times a year.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:15 am 
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Unless it happens in December, I probably can't go :( or November 11th. But yes, getting out of the house. It's hard when you're "old." And don't have much time. And don't like social gatherings. And they don't happen frequently. Ah well. Sending positivity to you! And keep me in da loop for real life dance parties! :D


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:26 am 
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Vantine wrote:
The problem with that is that in certain areas this is a guaranteed way to remain single.


Aye, I have enough problems finding sane.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:08 pm 
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"Kinky guy seeks kinky gal for kinky olympics!"

I kinda love this guy.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:43 am 
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Went for an impromptu coffee this morning, laughed until my face hurt. He's not looking for a relationship, so I'd say it'll be no more than friendship, but we swore up a storm in the local fancy pants art building and I think everyone could hear the roars and cackles of us. Think it's the most I've ever laughed with a complete stranger, and exactly what I needed this week.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 9:25 am 
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Super nice date with kinky guy last night after he returned from vacation. Had a long conversation about hows and whats and now we'll be exploring. And snuggles this morning, which is a great way to start the day even when it's horribly early.

Yay fezza! Laughing fun dates are such a mood lift! Glad you had a good time!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:31 am 
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Thank you OKCupid! It's going so well with snugglecrush! (I don't know if I ever mentioned that, but yeah that's where I met him from)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:46 am 
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Well, we're definitely hanging out again, and definitely only as friends. He says I'm great craic, called me his 'wee pal' and says I remind him of his sister. Yeah, never going to be any more than friendship when you're reminded of siblings! Do hope we hang out again though, reckon there's a good chance of someone laughing til they snort next time!

Going round to Thai boxers for vegan soup and whitterings later, still loving our little friendship and all our bickering!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:26 pm 
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I am dipping my feet back in and messaged a few people...I am still seeing the last girl I met on there, and I normally just get too overwhelmed dating more than one person at a time, but our schedules are so different I rarely get to see her anyway, and I want more dates than that dammit. I messaged one girl and basically just told her she was cute, and she responded with "Thank you!" So...I feel like that's a polite lack of interest? But someone else sent me a promising reply and she is 34 which is totally my ideal.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 4:23 am 
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strawberryrock, I think that the fact she answered "Thank you" is more a polite expression of interest, rather than lack of interest. If your message was just about how cute she was, she would have ignored it if she wasn't interested. The fact the she replied in the only possible way there is to reply to a "you're cute" message, to me means she is interested and would like a more expressive message.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:55 pm 
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snugglecrush! I love that word.

I got a message from someone that merely said "Hi." Then I clicked on his profile and he hadn't filled anything out. Can you exert any less effort?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:47 pm 
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Advice seeking, ha.

So a really cool-seeming, attractive lady from my hometown (gasp!) popped up on my thingy (94% match) and I was excited and sent a message. A couple days later she rated me 5 stars but hasn't messaged me back (like a week later). I'm confused?

I've had very little luck in this area and I'm a little bummed. Not to mention perplexed.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 8:42 am 
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Dandelion wrote:
Advice seeking, ha.

So a really cool-seeming, attractive lady from my hometown (gasp!) popped up on my thingy (94% match) and I was excited and sent a message. A couple days later she rated me 5 stars but hasn't messaged me back (like a week later). I'm confused?

I've had very little luck in this area and I'm a little bummed. Not to mention perplexed.


I have to admit that I've been guilty of this; mostly when getting messages from awesome seeming people from Asheville (a city two hours-ish from where I actually live). But also because of life. I'm in grad school and working full-time, so sometimes I get messages from people that seem really cool and that I am interested in, but I have so little time that I either 1) can't give a thoughtful response right away and end up putting it off to the one day a week when I can or 2) get overly anxious about intiating a promising encounter when I fear I don't have enough time to devote to another person in my life (which is silly, because maybe I should just remove my profile if that is how I am acting).

I guess this is just to say that you never know what's going on with her that has nothing to do with her interest in you. And that she could still respond!!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 5:39 pm 
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papercuts wrote:
Dandelion wrote:
Advice seeking, ha.

So a really cool-seeming, attractive lady from my hometown (gasp!) popped up on my thingy (94% match) and I was excited and sent a message. A couple days later she rated me 5 stars but hasn't messaged me back (like a week later). I'm confused?

I've had very little luck in this area and I'm a little bummed. Not to mention perplexed.


I have to admit that I've been guilty of this; mostly when getting messages from awesome seeming people from Asheville (a city two hours-ish from where I actually live). But also because of life. I'm in grad school and working full-time, so sometimes I get messages from people that seem really cool and that I am interested in, but I have so little time that I either 1) can't give a thoughtful response right away and end up putting it off to the one day a week when I can or 2) get overly anxious about intiating a promising encounter when I fear I don't have enough time to devote to another person in my life (which is silly, because maybe I should just remove my profile if that is how I am acting).

I guess this is just to say that you never know what's going on with her that has nothing to do with her interest in you. And that she could still respond!!


That was my intuition. But it's such a bummer, because I'm experiencing some serious geographic irritation. Oh well.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 8:49 pm 
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papercuts wrote:
Dandelion wrote:
Advice seeking, ha.

So a really cool-seeming, attractive lady from my hometown (gasp!) popped up on my thingy (94% match) and I was excited and sent a message. A couple days later she rated me 5 stars but hasn't messaged me back (like a week later). I'm confused?

I've had very little luck in this area and I'm a little bummed. Not to mention perplexed.


I have to admit that I've been guilty of this; mostly when getting messages from awesome seeming people from Asheville (a city two hours-ish from where I actually live). But also because of life. I'm in grad school and working full-time, so sometimes I get messages from people that seem really cool and that I am interested in, but I have so little time that I either 1) can't give a thoughtful response right away and end up putting it off to the one day a week when I can or 2) get overly anxious about intiating a promising encounter when I fear I don't have enough time to devote to another person in my life (which is silly, because maybe I should just remove my profile if that is how I am acting).

I guess this is just to say that you never know what's going on with her that has nothing to do with her interest in you. And that she could still respond!!


I think I wrote you on there! Yeah I've got someone from Boone interested in me but I'm so iffy about the high amount of her interest because i'm not sure I can get myself into wanting to do all that driving but then I wouldn't want her to either then. Ya know?

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