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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:35 am 
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vijita wrote:
That dear friend/coworker I mentioned who just got out of an abusive relationship? She was just involved in a horrific head-on collision today. She is stable, but severely concussed, her mum has a broken neck, and her dad might have internal injuries. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

Oh and three people are dead. This highway is ridiculous--after the first heavy rain of the season, all the vehicles hydroplane because of poor drainage and oil from the busy summer months. My boyfriend's parents were in a similar accident on the same highway years ago.

I am so sad for my friend and all of the victims.


Oh man, best wishes to your friend and her family. May the people who died on the road RIP.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:24 am 
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Parking ticket grr.

There was a mixture of maximum one hour and two hour spaces on the street, and guess which one I ended up in?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:34 am 
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vijita wrote:
That dear friend/coworker I mentioned who just got out of an abusive relationship? She was just involved in a horrific head-on collision today. She is stable, but severely concussed, her mum has a broken neck, and her dad might have internal injuries. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

Oh and three people are dead. This highway is ridiculous--after the first heavy rain of the season, all the vehicles hydroplane because of poor drainage and oil from the busy summer months. My boyfriend's parents were in a similar accident on the same highway years ago.

I am so sad for my friend and all of the victims.


Oh no! That's terrible. It seems that some people just can't catch a break... wishing her and her family a speedy recovery.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:48 am 
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That's terrible, vijita. Best of luck for a speedy recovery for your friend and her family.

I had a really bad allergy attack last night, and my cat decided that he needed some loving at 4.40am, so I woke up exhausted and still sneezing. I went back to bed to try to get more sleep before calling in when someone was in the office, but then I got a text from my line manager saying that the other admin had some kind of stomach virus and wouldn't be in (if I find out she was hung over, I will choke a bisque). So I had to go in because one of us has to be there to deal with the post. When I got to the office (just on time because I was running late and missed the first bus and didn't have the energy to walk), everyone on my side told me I should just go home because I looked like shiitake (someone actually said, "you look shiitake"). I did go home early, but I would've felt better at this point in the day if I'd been able to stay home and sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:20 pm 
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Fuuucckkkkkkk. Family member of my crush died, and along with that comes some crazy logistic stuff involving kids and all sorts of crepe. He says he may have to disappear for a while. forkin ballsack.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:32 pm 
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Should Write a Goddam Book Already
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I talked to my boss about possibly switching at least one of the days I work currently for a day earlier in the week (crossing my fingers for getting my Saturdays and Thursdays back) and she kinda ran me around. She's training a new guy this week(which means we're all training a new guy while she does the same things she always does) and said she absolutely needs me Thursday, Friday, Saturday, despite historically being very flexible for the guys whenever they've asked. She said to try her in a couple weeks.

I'm starting to get the feeling I need to find a way out of this job and into another one. Going to try to get a decent job through the temp agency.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 8:48 pm 
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vijita wrote:
That dear friend/coworker I mentioned who just got out of an abusive relationship? She was just involved in a horrific head-on collision today. She is stable, but severely concussed, her mum has a broken neck, and her dad might have internal injuries. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

Oh and three people are dead. This highway is ridiculous--after the first heavy rain of the season, all the vehicles hydroplane because of poor drainage and oil from the busy summer months. My boyfriend's parents were in a similar accident on the same highway years ago.

I am so sad for my friend and all of the victims.

Oh how awful. I heard about that one. I can't believe they don't do something (though I can't really imagine what) about the Malahat. between the first rain and the snow it's terrifying.

Wishing your friend speedy healing and lots of support.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:13 pm 
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Two dudes walked down the street behind me while I was carrying my infant on my back and pulling my 3 year old in the wagon, and while they walked they had a VERY loud conversation about that poor kid in the wagon, he's probably not even 3 yet and mom has popped out another baby and is working on the next one.

1) I'm not pregnant, the baby carrier just pushes my fat down in a very unflattering way and
2) even if I was, seriously just fork those guys. What business of theirs would it even be?

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:14 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Two dudes walked down the street behind me while I was carrying my infant on my back and pulling my 3 year old in the wagon, and while they walked they had a VERY loud conversation about that poor kid in the wagon, he's probably not even 3 yet and mom has popped out another baby and is working on the next one.

1) I'm not pregnant, the baby carrier just pushes my fat down in a very unflattering way and
2) even if I was, seriously just fork those guys. What business of theirs would it even be?


crassholes.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:16 am 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Two dudes walked down the street behind me while I was carrying my infant on my back and pulling my 3 year old in the wagon, and while they walked they had a VERY loud conversation about that poor kid in the wagon, he's probably not even 3 yet and mom has popped out another baby and is working on the next one.

1) I'm not pregnant, the baby carrier just pushes my fat down in a very unflattering way and
2) even if I was, seriously just fork those guys. What business of theirs would it even be?

This is the rudest damn thing.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:48 am 
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Being chased out of my friend's home by terrible surprise allergies + asthma.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:35 am 
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sad and bitter morning: I had one horrible dream with my ex, and was feeling very miserable, as if he was there telling me: "muaaaahahah, I will never let you be able to be happy! yek yek yek!"
; and, for the 1000x time, I keep asking myself "why? what have I done to this guy?" that's so stupidly unfair.
then I realised today was terrible october 16, the day I had to leave him 3 years ago :(
pfff. I need cats and hugs.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:36 am 
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lutin wrote:
Being chased out of my friend's home by terrible surprise allergies + asthma.


that sucks too! ouch! xxtchtgm! (... bless you!)

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:30 am 
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The smell that is currently coming from my dog.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:02 am 
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The owner of the business I work for was supposed to do a tour with kindergarteners of our orchard followed by crafts and lunch/apple juice, but she's insisted I be there on my one, sacred day off, and I'm pretty sure she won't show up at all.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 8:37 pm 
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jury duty....then last night someone wrote me a really snotty email about my zines.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:44 pm 
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I think my feeling of general malaise is a harbinger of doom...I'm exhausted, snotty, my lungs feel full of crepe and I'm extremely emotional. All things that generally mean my immune system is in a losing battle against something naaasty.

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"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:25 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Two dudes walked down the street behind me while I was carrying my infant on my back and pulling my 3 year old in the wagon, and while they walked they had a VERY loud conversation about that poor kid in the wagon, he's probably not even 3 yet and mom has popped out another baby and is working on the next one.

1) I'm not pregnant, the baby carrier just pushes my fat down in a very unflattering way and
2) even if I was, seriously just fork those guys. What business of theirs would it even be?


STABBY!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:43 am 
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My best friend just posted another one of those cryptic FB statuses that could mean absolutely nothing or could mean ze's suicidal. Ze is 1200 miles away and there is absolutely nothing I can do, and every other time ze's done this, it's turned out that's ze's fine, but I know ze's dealing with severe depression and is not able or willing to access treatment, and so every so often ze will post these status updates with no further context and then not answer hir phone or email for days, during which I'm actively panicking that ze's dead. I'm so scared that one of these times I'll just be like, "whatever, I'm sure ze's fine" and that will be the time ze isn't...but, there's really nothing I can do if ze isn't.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:40 am 
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I'm sorry, CQ. Have you considered distancing yourself completely?

I know that seems harsh, but that treatment of people isn't fair. It's manipulative and wrong, and if they also refuse to seek proper help, there is nothing but worry and stress for you by staying in the situation.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:11 am 
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choirqueer wrote:
My best friend just posted another one of those cryptic FB statuses that could mean absolutely nothing or could mean ze's suicidal. Ze is 1200 miles away and there is absolutely nothing I can do, and every other time ze's done this, it's turned out that's ze's fine, but I know ze's dealing with severe depression and is not able or willing to access treatment, and so every so often ze will post these status updates with no further context and then not answer hir phone or email for days, during which I'm actively panicking that ze's dead. I'm so scared that one of these times I'll just be like, "whatever, I'm sure ze's fine" and that will be the time ze isn't...but, there's really nothing I can do if ze isn't.

Have you had a heart-to-heart talk about how it feels when ze does the whole status-then-ignore-texts thing? Depression is an ugly, ugly disease, and it's awful that your friend is dealing with that. Still, that kind of behavior shows a real disregard for your feelings. I think anyone would be panicking waiting for a response on that sort of thing, and it's not fair to do that to someone.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:17 am 
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You know, you can always call the suicide hotline in their state and talk about your concerns. I did that when a friend of mine was threatening to kill herself, and it put my mind at ease or at least made me feel like it wasn't on me to save her. Its tough to think your friend might kill themselves, and you need support too, esp if it is making you actively panic as you describe.

I personally don't think it makes sense to talk to someone who is actively suicidal and tell them that their threats are making you feel bad, just because they are not in a space where they can do anything with that information. Our friend who killed herself this summer had 2 young children at home. She knew her behavior was hurting them, but she still couldn't change it. I think it makes more sense to get resourced elsewhere.

I feel like we know so many people who have killed themselves and its so hard to want to save someone who isn't able to save themselves. Hugs to you in this very tough time. I hope you get some counseling to support you emotionally.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:28 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
You know, you can always call the suicide hotline in their state and talk about your concerns. I did that when a friend of mine was threatening to kill herself, and it put my mind at ease or at least made me feel like it wasn't on me to save her. Its tough to think your friend might kill themselves, and you need support too, esp if it is making you actively panic as you describe.

I personally don't think it makes sense to talk to someone who is actively suicidal and tell them that their threats are making you feel bad, just because they are not in a space where they can do anything with that information. Our friend who killed herself this summer had 2 young children at home. She knew her behavior was hurting them, but she still couldn't change it. I think it makes more sense to get resourced elsewhere.

I feel like we know so many people who have killed themselves and its so hard to want to save someone who isn't able to save themselves. Hugs to you in this very tough time. I hope you get some counseling to support you emotionally.

Oh yes, absolutely. I just thought what CQ said was vaguer than a direct threat of suicide, so maybe a conversation would be helpful, especially if it's a recurring pattern.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:17 am 
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You know, I do agree that it makes sense to set boundaries, but I don't know if you can really ask someone not to post vague statements on FB, because their posts worry you. You follow up, but if you get no response, you have to accept that the person is an adult.

My parents have both left vague terrible messages on my phone and then gone unreachable. It was really bad when my mom was dying, because I'd get these frantic calls that she thought she was dying, and then I'd try and reach her for a week, and she'd act like nothing happened and I was exaggerating and a drama queen. At some point you have to realize you can only control yourself and how much energy you give a situation. So towards the end, I'd call back once and that'd be it. And I didn't take it seriously enough when she actually was dying, but hey. When I type this I realize how messed up my parents are/were.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:48 am 
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Yeah, that's kinda what the situation is...when ze gets like this, ze copes by making these posts on FB. Ze's not trying to manipulate anybody...ze just gets to this point where ze just sort of loses touch with how this sort of thing affects other people. It's kinda the virtual equivalent of bursting into tears...like, I can't tell someone to stop crying just because it makes me uncomfortable and I can't help them. I've tried talking to hir about it when ze's feeling better, but it doesn't really seem to help because once ze's gone to that place mentally, ze's not really aware of stuff like that.

Ze's not in a situation where ze can get therapy currently. I've tried to help hir find a way to do it and I've gotten other friends involved to try to help too, but that's not the kind of thing you can really make someone do and I know from my own experience that therapy seriously can make things worse, especially if you're doing it because someone else pushed you into it.

I'm not going to abandon my best friend just because hir mental illness is hard to deal with. Yeah it's sucky and stressful, but sometimes sucky stressful stuff comes along with having friends, and ze's been there for me through some pretty forked up times too.

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