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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:20 am 
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kfad wrote:
27 hours left of the most toxic thing I have ever dealt with. Spread out over two weeks. And then a big thing the following Monday.
But 27 hours. That is just over a day. Just 1620 minutes.


Oh no!

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:24 am 
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A MYSTERY!

My aunt, who i hear from every 6 months or so, just emailed me this:
Quote:
I received an envelope last night via ups service addressed to {my maiden name} p o box 2094, Our Town but delivered here at house. It's from red lobster restaurant in Our Town nj. Do u want me to mail to u?

So, I have never lived at this address. Nobody at the PO or UPS guy would know my name. How the UPS guy got this address, unknown. Also, my maiden name- it's not exotic, but not common for that town nowadays.
And, Red Lobster. A restaurant I never would have gone to, and never knew the existence of in that town til this morning.

All I can think of is that my insane ex-boyfriend (who had that address, 15 years ago, and famously sent fake HIV-positive test results to my boss in Japan [which she handed to me hot off the fax machine, as she didn't speak or read English] to get me fired after a particularly nasty breakup) is sending my distant family white powder.

Or that Red Lobster has some new "turn-a-vegan" campaign.
What do you think?

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:27 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
I did say it isn't the best. I don't know Boober's schedule, but when I've been ready to break up with someone, I've just wanted it to be done and not be forced to wait, especially if the reason I was breaking up with the person is because they never had time for me.

choirqueer wrote:
especially since she knew from the beginning that this was how it was going to be.


You can get into a relationship and find out that you don't like it, even if you thought you would be okay with it. Or you could have gotten into something thinking it might change and then seeing it wouldn't. I don't think that "she should have known" is a fair response.


*sigh*! Yeah, I know, mostly you're right. I'm just indignant on boober's behalf. :) I didn't mean "she should have known" as in "she should suffer in a relationship that isn't meeting her needs"; I meant it like "I know that boober made it really clear to this person what was reasonable to expect in this relationship, so I think she (boober) at least deserves to be treated more respectfully than the way this person seems to have treated her, since it's not like she misled this person."

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:29 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
kfad wrote:
27 hours left of the most toxic thing I have ever dealt with. Spread out over two weeks. And then a big thing the following Monday.
But 27 hours. That is just over a day. Just 1620 minutes.


Oh no!



It is good. It is how many actual hours of work I have before I go in on the 5th of Nov. and resign. They will not be getting notice, so that will be the stresser.

But this is good. Very good.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:32 am 
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It sounds like you have more information than I do. But hey, we all agree breaking up by text is not nice! Though it is preferable, in my view, to just disappearing, changing your number and ignoring the person for weeks.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:44 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
It sounds like you have more information than I do. But hey, we all agree breaking up by text is not nice! Though it is preferable, in my view, to just disappearing, changing your number and ignoring the person for weeks.


Even a text can be toughtfull, honnest and clearly written after all. And for some of us writing is the only way to express complex feelings.
Also, I don't find text that awful because I'm mostly used to the disappearing/ignoring process... (wait THAT sucks now that you mention it...)

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:08 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:10 am 
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I love stuff like that, torque!!! Are they going to send it to you or open it? I truly hope it's not anything bad. That is amazingly shitty what your ex did. I don't even understand how people think of things like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:14 am 
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ndpittman wrote:
I love stuff like that, torque!!! Are they going to send it to you or open it? I truly hope it's not anything bad. That is amazingly shitty what your ex did. I don't even understand how people think of things like that.

I am sad to say that I instructed my aunt to throw it away, just on the off chance that my crazy ex is still doing shiitake like that.
He was/is a very disturbed person with too much time, intelligence and ego on his hands. Seriously, he thought he was Muad´Dib from Dune. I'm well rid of him but I don't hold it against him- not that I'd trust him with anything at all, though.
<is it time to erase my FB account?>

maybe i've just found my NaNoWriMo plot.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 10:20 am 
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Emilie wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
It sounds like you have more information than I do. But hey, we all agree breaking up by text is not nice! Though it is preferable, in my view, to just disappearing, changing your number and ignoring the person for weeks.


Even a text can be toughtfull, honnest and clearly written after all. And for some of us writing is the only way to express complex feelings.


That is a really good point. And I think Boober mentioned it was a three part text, so it was at least some thought and effort in it.

Breaking up by 1 post-it note, worse than text but better than disappearing? :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPhCvyb5jeQ

But of course, I have no facts, and I am very sorry Boober was hurt.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:11 pm 
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oh hey wow yeah
I really don't hold her breaking up with me against her, I get that it wasn't working and that was totally fine.
I'm not even that hurt honestly, it was a really new relationship and I liked her but it's totally fine.

I was mostly annoyed because she seemed really indignant about it, and I had literally laid out exactly how much time I had and explained how my schedule worked and was really wary about getting in to anything BECAUSE of this, and I think I even said specifically "no matter how much I care about you, my studio work is going to have to take the priority every time." and she was okay with that.
she is totally allowed to change her mind, I am hard to be with when I am in this schedule. It is really valid.

I GET that twice a week isn't much and that she can decide the schedule wasn't working and things weren't woking and that is perfectly perfectly okay, I don't think she should have waited to end things if she wasn't getting what she wanted, but the way in which she was reacting was as though she was told I would have all the time in the world for her and then was ignored.
she started the text with an ultimatum, I should have mentioned that before, I had a hand in the decision to ed it because I could not meet a demand.
that is why I was annoyed

the text aspect was really okay, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone as I was in a library-like environment or 8 hours, and actually it was pretty considerate, I need some time to process any emotional things so being able to read and re-read was actually really kind.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:20 pm 
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Emilie wrote:
Tofulish wrote:
It sounds like you have more information than I do. But hey, we all agree breaking up by text is not nice! Though it is preferable, in my view, to just disappearing, changing your number and ignoring the person for weeks.


Even a text can be toughtfull, honnest and clearly written after all. And for some of us writing is the only way to express complex feelings.
Also, I don't find text that awful because I'm mostly used to the disappearing/ignoring process... (wait THAT sucks now that you mention it...)


my last boyfriend tried to break up by leaving a song about breaking up on my voicemail. and i don't mean he was singing a song; he held his phone up to his stereo after the beep. true story. before that i'd have thought a text/e-mail/apologetic hallmark card was bad form, but now they seem all right to me.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:36 pm 
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booberthefraggle wrote:
the way in which she was reacting was as though she was told I would have all the time in the world for her and then was ignored.


Yeah, that was what it sounded like to me, which was what my reaction was based on.

Quote:
the text aspect was really okay, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone as I was in a library-like environment or 8 hours, and actually it was pretty considerate, I need some time to process any emotional things so being able to read and re-read was actually really kind.


Okay, yeah...I forget, other people are into texting. To me it's like the epitome of rudeness, to try to communicate anything meaningful that way. I always have to remind myself that other people don't hate it as much as I do.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:45 pm 
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If I've been seeing someone for say under 4 months I would so much rather be broken up with by text than any other way. I don't want to go out of my way to meet up with someone who's just going to dump me, and I hate talking on the phone. Plus I want them to think I don't give a shiitake which is way easier by text than if I'm crying on the phone or something.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:47 pm 
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acr wrote:

my last boyfriend tried to break up by leaving a song about breaking up on my voicemail. and i don't mean he was singing a song; he held his phone up to his stereo after the beep. true story. before that i'd have thought a text/e-mail/apologetic hallmark card was bad form, but now they seem all right to me.


(ELIZA)
> so you said he TRIED to ...?

(hehe)


Well, I must say my biggest breakup was by a 6 words email (vs six years of relationship) ...but trust me it was even too much consideration for such a horrible person...

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 12:53 pm 
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Emilie wrote:
acr wrote:

my last boyfriend tried to break up by leaving a song about breaking up on my voicemail. and i don't mean he was singing a song; he held his phone up to his stereo after the beep. true story. before that i'd have thought a text/e-mail/apologetic hallmark card was bad form, but now they seem all right to me.


(ELIZA)
> so you said he TRIED to ...? what was next?

(hehe)


Well, I must say my biggest breakup was by email but trust me it was even too much consideration for such a horrible person...


what happened next is i thought it was a butt dial, because the sound wasn't very clear and no one ever said anything, and i paid no attention to it, and the next time we talked things were really, really weird. the best part is that a while after we'd sorted it all out and actually broken up, he called me at one in the morning or something to leave a different song, but i was up and answered the phone, and he was caught completely off guard and talked about the really good soup he'd had for lunch for a couple of minutes before finally admitting what he'd been up to and hanging up really fast.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:03 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Breaking up by 1 post-it note, worse than text but better than disappearing? :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPhCvyb5jeQ


Thank you!!!!! I had forgot this one (and, weirdly, I hed never heard their original voices)
so, ok, postit: I should do THAT next time. fits for a six words sentence.

strawberryrock wrote:
If I've been seeing someone for say under 4 months I would so much rather be broken up with by text than any other way. I don't want to go out of my way to meet up with someone who's just going to dump me, and I hate talking on the phone. Plus I want them to think I don't give a shiitake which is way easier by text than if I'm crying on the phone or something.


booberthefraggle wrote:
and actually it was pretty considerate, I need some time to process any emotional things so being able to read and re-read was actually really kind.


I agree with you Ladies, not only that I can't face real eyes in such situations, but I'm also a re-re-reader!

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:05 pm 
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that is very strange! was it a get back together song? or did he not say?


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:05 pm 
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acr wrote:

what happened next is i thought it was a butt dial, because the sound wasn't very clear and no one ever said anything, and i paid no attention to it, and the next time we talked things were really, really weird. the best part is that a while after we'd sorted it all out and actually broken up, he called me at one in the morning or something to leave a different song, but i was up and answered the phone, and he was caught completely off guard and talked about the really good soup he'd had for lunch for a couple of minutes before finally admitting what he'd been up to and hanging up really fast.


This is absolutely excellent!!!!!!! You should write Sex and The City!

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:06 pm 
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Yeah maybe I'm old school and thinking trying to say meaningful things through text is shitty. Texting just seems so nonchalant. Then again, I don't text.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:07 pm 
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I had a friend whose girlfriend butt dialed her and then she overheard her girlfriend talking about how she wanted to break up with her.

Unclear whether it was a real butt dial or the most passive aggressive break-up ever.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:52 pm 
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I have never heard the phrase butt dial.

But you guys are making me recall the one time I broke up with someone via letter. Ugh, it was so embarrassing, but I was in such a bad place and am so much better at expressing myself through writing than verbally. We went on a date and I slipped him the letter when I went home, and he totally thought it was something sweet, like a love letter of sorts. He ended up reading it, walking to my apartment, and shouting to me about it from outside (I lived on the ground floor). And I didn't have the courage to acknowledge his presence, even though he could SEE ME through the window.

I still feel really shitty about that one. He was such a nice dude, which was why I dated him in the first place, but I was not used to dating someone who was so nice and in reality, I was not the slightest bit attracted to him, I just felt bad that he liked me.


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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:55 pm 
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My sister butt dialed me and others pretty frequently when she first got her iphone. She seems to have things under control now.

I haven't been broken up with in an age, but I suppose those conversations always took place in person for me since I last dated in the Jurassic Era. I mean, whatever means of correspondence it takes, do it, I'm fine with it, I'll try to remain modern-minded while my heart is breaking because any way the news comes in person, via text, via coconut phone, via skywriting, it's gonna sting.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:01 pm 
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The very last thing on earth that I want is for biker boy to break up with me, but if it has to happen, it better happen by coconut phone. 'Cause I at least want a good story out of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Space to post things that do not go with any other topic
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Lungs are still weak after the surprise CAT!!1 attack. This time next week, I'm responsible for putting up a bunch of fabric at an event/installation/thing which I'm sorta allergic to when I feel awesome, and I definitely don't feel awesome now. I'm starting to wonder how that's going to go over, and whether I can just appoint my team to do it 1) without touching anything and 2) while wearing a facemark and gloves and all that shiitake, cuz dues, lungs. Lungs.

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