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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:42 pm 
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I think it comes down to doing what's best for your family. I probably could have night weaned Lydia at 4 months since she would sometimes sleep through the night on her own, but I didn't like the idea of sleep training a baby that young and waited until around age one. For what it's worth, I've met moms who are very into sleep training from a young age, and tried to get their kid to sleep through the night before 6 months, and it still didn't work. So, yeah, there are no guarantees you will magically have a kid who sleeps through the night no matter what you do.

I'm guessing I'm going to be sleep training the twins earlier out of desperation though....


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:49 pm 
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Also, I stopped talking about sleep habits with the pediatrician after she pressured me to sleep train at 4 months. I really do like our pediatrician overall, and I like her approach to most things, but this was the one thing I didn't like to talk to her about. After the 4 month appointment, when the ped would ask about sleep, I would just say that she's sleeping fine and I would estimate how many hours of sleep my daughter got. Since the pediatrician thought that sounded like enough sleep, she didn't ask any more questions.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:53 pm 
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My policy is that if ANYONE asks me how either of my kids are sleeping, unless I'm actively soliciting advice, I just tell them the kid's sleeping great. Our pediatrician is a wonderful doctor, but I don't really care about what he thinks about my kid's sleep habits.

That said, if you're unhappy with how she's sleeping, may as well try to cut back-- but if you're happy, why bother?

I think the Magician would sleep through the night without nursing st all if he slept on his own. But I miss him so much while I'm gone at school, I need to cuddle him all night. At this age, I'm willing to feed him two or three times if that's the tradeoff.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 1:26 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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When I went back to work when Iz was 5 months old, he HATED drinking milk from a bottle. He didn't eat tons during the day at first (especially since he was just barely starting solids), so in exchange, he night-boobed like crazy. It was a good trade off though, because after working all day, we needed the snuggles, and my partner and I didn't have to worry about him getting enough calories via the bottle/bit of solids solely in the daytime.

So yeah, what everyone else said - do what works for you!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:17 pm 
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Ditto to all the above. We're hoping to try Freya sometime soon in the second year. We've heard lots of advice to just let her go through the night and soothe her as best as we can, because she doesn't "need" to eat, but I've not been comfortable with either her breastfeeding skills or her adeptness as self-comforting until recently. Going to start with new room after her cold clears, and then work toward night weaning once she seems really settled there.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:48 pm 
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refinnej wrote:
Ditto to all the above. We're hoping to try Freya sometime soon in the second year. We've heard lots of advice to just let her go through the night and soothe her as best as we can, because she doesn't "need" to eat, but I've not been comfortable with either her breastfeeding skills or her adeptness as self-comforting until recently. Going to start with new room after her cold clears, and then work toward night weaning once she seems really settled there.


Yeah, that's how we did it. For 2-3 months it was like, okay, I will still feed you every 3 hours, but then you are going back in your crib. Once that got easier, I started offering soy milk/water/snacks instead of boobs when he woke up, along with back rubs, holding hands through the crib, daddy rocking him. This whole process took from about April to September, but finally everyone is rested (knock on wood).


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:57 pm 
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Same thing for us...ped acted like it was a huge problem she was waking two times at night at six months. I thought she was a great sleeper because she would go right back to sleep and it was really seemless. It was also better for my nursing schedule as a working mom.

It annoyed me especially because my ped has never had any kids of her own. How could she know shiitake about the reality of baby sleep?

So now I take cold&sleepy's approach and say she sleeps great without the details.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 7:46 pm 
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I just think its so important to look at your own life, and do what works for you. A friend of mine is really having a hard time with not getting enough sleep, like to the point where it is taking a toll on her health and aggravating a chronic condition. So I suggested nightweaning, and she asked if I was going to do it, because she'd feel like a bad mom if she did it. I explained that Leela pretty much doesn't nurse between 11 and 6 am (unless she is sick and she often goes later) and because I don't work, I nap when she does, so I get a ton of sleep (more than when I worked at law firms!), so it wasn't necessary for me. And she seemed insulted that I would suggest something I wasn't doing myself. And so she is going to continue to be completely exhausted and overextended, rather than nightwean. I feel really bad for her because there is no way I could survive doing what she is doing, and she is just having such a bad time with it.

I feel like if I am happy, I can enjoy my kidlet and that will make us both happier. I'm not enriching her like my friend is, with lots of reading and we're not doing a ton of other classes, but we get out a lot to do fun things with nice people. And I get plenty of awesome sleep. And so far the kid seems unharmed by my approach.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 8:48 pm 
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Yeah, I kind of feel like a jerk for putting Malka to bed earlier now than I used to (which tonight was 9:30) because I see her for like a minute when I get home (if that) and I'm often up and out of the house before she wakes up or only a short time after she's awake (on days I can go in late, I get up with her and we hang out till I have to leave, but I don't have that many of those days). But I also just couldn't function at all if she was up a million times a night so I'm really thankful she's mostly night-weaned herself without any effort on our parts. Hoping the night snuggling counts as hanging out with her.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 8:52 pm 
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It totally does! She is absorbing all your love in her unconscious :)

I feel like Leela is nightweaning herself, and OMG, I love that I have 7 uninterrupted hours of awesome sleep. Unless she is sick then it is nummy central.

Oh, on a slightly related point, we were out with an acquaintance who has a tiny baby and she was gushing milk. Leela was completely intrigued and wanted nothing to do with me, Old Dry Boobs, but just wanted to be snuggled by Miss Spurtsalot. Also, Leela totally hugs people. Just not me, because I am the nummy factory.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:34 pm 
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Thanks for all the advice guys! I agree with the sentiment that pediatricians shouldn't dictate our decisions about things like sleep, but he's really a nice guy and I'm open to hearing what he has to say. We went with him because he's a friend of a friend and he's supportive of home birth-- he even came over for a home visit for Scarlett's first check-up! I was kind of paranoid that a pediatrician would report us to CPS or something for having a home birth. He also has a rescued pit bull like us and always asks how our dogs are doing with the baby, which I think is really nice. His first baby is about to be born any day now, so it will definitely be interesting to see if his comments on sleep training will change once he has his own experience with it! Ha.

My instinct is that Scarlett still needs me at night and will only eat as much as she needs, so I'm not going to try to change anything. I could certainly use better sleep, but the sad truth is that I've had insomnia basically my whole life and I don't really feel worse now that I did before having a baby.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:36 pm 
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Audrey- that's so awesome that Sierra is getting chunky! I'm so glad things are going better for you!


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:10 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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mooo wrote:
I could certainly use better sleep, but the sad truth is that I've had insomnia basically my whole life and I don't really feel worse now that I did before having a baby.

OMG, me, too!!! The only time I ever sleep straight through the night is when I'm pregnant!!

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:35 am 
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You guys are totally reminding me why I should the sleep I am getting now. Silas night nursed until I he weaned at nearly 3 years old, many many many times a night. Within a few weeks of weaning, he became a magical sleeper. sleeps 8-6:30 and a 3 hour nap everyday. I'm sure he still hasn't paid me back for all the lost sleep over his first 3 years though.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:10 am 
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So, Samuel has picked up some sort of tummy bug. I was wondering... I know they say no milk products and such, but can he still have soy or almond milk?

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:10 am 
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Nevermind. Came back out... I guess water it is for today.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:23 am 
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Aw... I hope Samuel's better really soon.

Last time the Emperor got a stomach illness, he was so little he was still nursing so I'm not sure about the milk thing.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:15 pm 
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aww poor samuel.

They said no milk for elliot when he was having allergy problems. I can understand that but I think she even meant to cut back on nursing. There is no way I could do that to him. Especially because when he doesn't feel good he hardly eats anyhow.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:58 pm 
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Spent time with grown-ups that a) I don't work with and b) don't have kids to talk about and I realized anew how important it is for me to have serious, non kid-related conversations with grown-ups not just for my own mental health but so my husband and I have something to talk about that is not about Malka or my job.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 12:59 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
I just think its so important to look at your own life, and do what works for you. A friend of mine is really having a hard time with not getting enough sleep, like to the point where it is taking a toll on her health and aggravating a chronic condition. So I suggested nightweaning, and she asked if I was going to do it, because she'd feel like a bad mom if she did it. I explained that Leela pretty much doesn't nurse between 11 and 6 am (unless she is sick and she often goes later) and because I don't work, I nap when she does, so I get a ton of sleep (more than when I worked at law firms!), so it wasn't necessary for me. And she seemed insulted that I would suggest something I wasn't doing myself. And so she is going to continue to be completely exhausted and overextended, rather than nightwean. I feel really bad for her because there is no way I could survive doing what she is doing, and she is just having such a bad time with it.


Oi. Keep being there for your friend. We're feeling confident about trying new bed/nightweaning, etc. now, but for a long time it's been pretty shiitake. She's been sleeping a lot worse because of two colds in a month, a tooth and just because well, she's the Freya. Last night = roly-poly, me awake until 4:40 a.m., then two bits of sleep until 6:20 and then another 40 mins or so when K took her before he went to work. I've debated trying to wean her before, but it wasn't really an option when we struggled with feeding so much (since she didn't really nurse during the day), and then later you just fill like a real selfish, weak parent. I know in my head that you have to make some tough choices, but my emotions would then get the better of me. Now, we're nearing a year and the time for not sleeping more than an hour at a time EVER is going to have to come to an end. I can't heal my ankle injury properly, I hurt every single day, I'm battling chronic headaches and trying to manage with caffeine and naps, there are more gastrointestinal issues than I would care to describe here, I forget things (sometimes really important things), I feel really stupid the majority of the time, I'm struggling with eating poorly and weight, it's hard to keep up with the house in any sort of reasonable sense because of sleeping with her at naps too.....enough now. If your acquaintance wants to email me, I'm happy to offer some support and an "I've been there". You want to do what your child needs all the time, full stop. It's just really freaking hard to remember that sometimes what they need is a healthy parent. I've managed to not go postal on anyone yet, but I think my reserves are just about gone. Oh..I ramble, but I just feel her pain. The "I'm not as strong/dedicated/good of a parent as ____" = not a nice feeling.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:08 pm 
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tofulish! i was just thinking about something while looking at the birthday list thread. mr. bird is kind of obsessed with having a "good" birth date... like, he finds certain number combos really appealing. tzipi's bday is 02.21.2010 and he loves it 'cause it's all 0s, 1s and 2s. so now of course he's trying to make sure (how, exactly, i don't know) that new bb has an equally matching good date. and i just realized that he would think leela's birth date is perfect 'cause it's 11.02.2011. he was really gunning for 10.20.2012 but that's passed, so now he wants me to wait for 11.02.2012, or even better, december. yes, i'm totally willing to hold this baby in for an extra month for your weird number obsession.

haha.. omg, i just told him leela's birthdate and he swore under his breath and said he wished we'd had this baby last year. he's such a nerd.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:35 pm 
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Ha ha ha. I love good birth dates too. My sister's son was born 9/9/9 and I was a little miffed that E stayed in another couple weeks. I thought 1/1/12 or 1/12/12 would've been good for M but 1/20/12 is 12012 which has a nice look too.

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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:39 pm 
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Just the other day I was thinking how awesome it would be to have 10/11/12.


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:46 pm 
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Butternut wrote:
Just the other day I was thinking how awesome it would be to have 10/11/12.


that is my actual due date... so i guess somehow it seems unlikely?


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 Post subject: Re: The Playground randomness thread
PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:49 pm 
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Hahahaha! I love Leela's birthday because its a palindrome (nerd4lyfe!) but no one else seems to really get it.

The hospital was apparently packed with babies being delivered on 1/11/11 (we got to see them in the nursery when we had Leela) and I heard it was expected to be insane on 11/11/11. I heard that people were laboring while waiting in the halls to get into a delivery suite, and I am so happy that we had no time pressure. A lot of the births were scheduled inductions too, so your husband isn't alone in wanting a good birthday!

I can't believe it was a year ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. She is so freaking awesome.

And nnej, you're great! She is suffering a lot right now, and I don't think she is in any space to take advice. I really appreciate you sharing your experience, its so heartbreaking, and definitely reminds me to have more compassion. My friend is an amazing Mama, and I think its sad that as a society we can't just move away from competition around motherhood. We're all doing the best we can.

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