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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 3:41 pm 
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Thessaly wrote:
Looks like we're going to have to start syringe feeding the cat since this cold has her refusing to eat. I just hope it works because vet says next step otherwise is hospitalization.


I've been there! You know, I've never done this in particular, but feeding tubes are not supposed to be that big of a deal for cats. Syringe feeding is hard.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:09 pm 
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strawberryrock wrote:
Thessaly wrote:
Looks like we're going to have to start syringe feeding the cat since this cold has her refusing to eat. I just hope it works because vet says next step otherwise is hospitalization.


I've been there! You know, I've never done this in particular, but feeding tubes are not supposed to be that big of a deal for cats. Syringe feeding is hard.


Honestly, I'd rather do the tube, but the vet said it would be $1500 to keep her for two days and feed her. We already dropped $900 on her pancreatitis (which turned into the upper respiratory virus she has now) and I don't know if we can afford to pay that much if we can at all avoid it! So syringe feeding it is. Of course my partner went to the wrong vet and then blamed me for not telling him which one to go to. Another worst thing today/this week. Sick kitty = lots of arguing.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:12 pm 
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Working and coming home to dishes. Again. If it's my dishes, fine. But fork, people, do your own forking dishes! Stop leaving them for me when 1/3 of my job is doing dishes as it is!


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:29 pm 
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De-escalating what was about to become a really scary fight in a community space between a person who has a long history of serious substance problems (who was trashed AND using, despite this being a sober space) and the valued volunteer who he was screaming racist slurs at.

It was terrifying and disheartening.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:58 pm 
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The worst thing is re-realizing that that's a thing that needs standing up for.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 4:21 pm 
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I am such a bisque and I hate it. How do I become nicer?

*sigh*

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:57 pm 
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The art thing we were invited to turned out to be a jazz thing. We were given comp tickets to basically make it look like more people bought tickets. It was awful. He was a very technically talented singer and a good showman, but all over his songs were a third longer than was really necessary, were very repetitive and most of them sounded almost identical and he interspersed them tales of how he discovered music and it started at half past nine in the evening and went on for over two hours.

BALLS

TO

THAT

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:44 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
I am such a bisque and I hate it. How do I become nicer?

*sigh*


Meditation would be very helpful. Metta meditation in particular cultivates kindness, benevolence, amity, and good will. Mindfulness is the most powerful practice, but it may be beneficial to practice a focus meditation for several weeks in order to improve concentration and stillness before practicing mindfulness.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:13 pm 
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I'm not good at meditation. All that ever happens is I stop blocking out all sorts of pain, so it makes me grumpier.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:03 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
I am such a bisque and I hate it. How do I become nicer?

*sigh*


My usual response, when I notice this in myself, is to decide "fork nicer" (particularly because I'm rarely a jerk to the people I really care about, and we work through it if I say something out of line). Every time I've done this, taking off the pressure to be nice has somehow made me more able to interact with people in compassionate (or even just civil) ways.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:09 pm 
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My ankle really hurts. It's been hurting for a week or so, but gradually ramping up. This evening it's reached the point of being unignorable. Trying heating pad and cookies.

Same place I get all the numbness. I've never heard of severe nerve pain just in the ankle before. Is this actually a thing? It's in one big spot, but it's the same intensity and type of pain as sciatica.

Blech.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:20 am 
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Lavawitch, are you sure you're really being a bisque or are you just thinking bisque-y things but not actually acting on them? Often when I feel like I've been mean I'll apologise to friends or colleagues and they'll say they didn't notice! Either they don't really take in anything I say or it's mostly in my head instead of coming out.

Of course, there was the time recently that I had a pavement rage incident where I screamed at a guy that he was a forking prick, but then he had just nearly reversed into me.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:09 pm 
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I think it's more that I'm short on patience and being overly brusque. I don't know.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:14 pm 
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lavawitch wrote:
I am such a bisque and I hate it. How do I become nicer?

*sigh*


No you're not. You put up with so much more than I ever could. I agree with DS that its more from your experience. You know you're tired, frustrated and overwhelmed, and not able to be as sweet as you'd like to be.

To show you an example of bisque: We were at a garage sale and they guy had overpriced his crockpot and we ended up in an insult contest. My husband was mortified. Basically, just take the filter off and run with it.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:24 pm 
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I'm just being short with a particular friend. I'm happy to have him as a friend; I've known him since he oversaw my research work on the electron microscope. He keeps indicating now that he wants to be more than friends, and, just no. For lots of reasons. I've been straight forward with him, and even told him a couple of the major reasons (for one, he is too gloomy usually and since I can also tend that way myself, I need someone who brings out my goofy sense of humor. He doesn't and never will.)

It is all just so annoying.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:27 pm 
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That doesn't make you a bisque! You're enforcing boundaries with someone who isn't being very respectful of yours.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:31 pm 
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I agree with Tofulish.

I think we're socialized, as women, to allow our boundaries to be flexible and to feel really bad about enforcing them. You are doing nothing wrong. You are taking care of yourself and even going out of your way to be kind about it.

I am at the point in my life where I will cut people out of my life if they don't respect my boundaries, even seemingly minor ones. Life is too short to feel unsafe or uncomfortable for someone else's benefit. Plus, in my experience, a person who doesn't respect a fairly minor boundary will similarly not respect a major boundary. And fork that shiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 3:36 pm 
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j-dub wrote:
...Life is too short to feel unsafe or uncomfortable for someone else's benefit...


Truth!

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 3:39 pm 
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J-dub and Tofulish are wise. If you've been straightforward and he's persisting, then he's disrespecting your boundaries, and that's not cool. That reflects poorly on him, not you.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:22 pm 
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Yup, I agree with the above - definitely keep being short with this person, keep enforcing your boundaries. You are totally worthy of respect, and he is not giving it to you. If he gets upset it's his own fault.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:34 pm 
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Thanks. Good advice, as usual.

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:52 pm 
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whine...I made soup (without stock, might I add, something I've never done) for my boyfriend, who is sick. I texted to double check that he hadn't gone to work, and he's like, "Aw, I already have soup, and I don't want to get you sick." I know I'm being silly, but it sucked to be told "No! Don't walk three-quarters of a mile and take a bus to come over with this super nice soup you just made me!" when really it's a pretense to see him, even for five minutes.

And who says no to homemade soup???

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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:12 pm 
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Everything that happened after I got out of bed. Should have known better and just stayed there.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:15 pm 
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Feeling f*t, which is bothering me way more than I wish it would.


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 Post subject: Re: What was the worst thing about your day?
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:59 pm 
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I'm just kinda tired and bummed I don't get a full weekend off, and realized I can't just up and quit my job. I hope they fire me or something so I can tell my mom there was nothing I could do about it.


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