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 Post subject: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:38 am 
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How long did you know your significant other before moving in together?

This isn't a question for me, but I've had a lot of my friends recently move in with their partners after knowing them a short time - like 2 months. And I don't think that's wrong or bad and hope the best for all of them! BUT I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually the one that's doing things differently since it would take me years to be ready to live with someone.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:42 am 
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Location: I can't believe it's not England!
I haven't ever moved in with a SO, though I was in the odd situation of meeting/dating someone while thru-hiking so we ended up spending most hours of the day/night together very very fast.

Now I'm back in non-hiking life, I think I'd wait for a while when dating someone, at least a year, I think, possibly more. I don't know since I haven't been in that situation, but I can't imagine moving in with someone after two months. (Obviously, everyone's different and I wish your friends all the best!)

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:44 am 
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5 months, I think we decided about month 3 then took 2 months to get everything done.

I had other relationships that had been longer and never thought about moving. With my husband, it felt like the right thing to do.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:47 am 
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Location: austin, tx
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and half now, and we don't live together. We do spend every night at my place, and it is starting to seem a little silly that we live apart. However, he uses the room in his house for writing music and I don't think he'd work as well in a shared space. So, I don't really have an answer for you but at 1.5 years it is starting to sound appealing.


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:58 am 
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5-6 months, mostly because I was in a crappy studio and spending almost every night at his place anyway. I had my fair share of "not sure if this was a good idea" moments after, but now we've been together for 4.5 years and married for a quarter of that, soooo, I guess it all worked out.


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:04 am 
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My now husband and I moved in together after dating for 1.25 years or so. Mostly because that is when our leases on our apartments was up.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:27 am 
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Not NOT A Furry
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Location: Sun City
4 years? Haha. In my case, we were in a long distance relationship because he was from my home town and I was in college in Maryland. He lived with his dad and I did stay there during my breaks from school, like 3 months for summer, 1.5 months for winter break, etc. but mostly I was just a guest, if that makes sense... I didn't pay any bills or anything like that. Then when I moved somewhere else for medical school, he had the issue that he was still in college and wasn't sure about transferring since he'd lose a bunch of credits. Eventually he decided that he hated that school and wanted to move, so this summer we moved in together. Yay! Haha.

Shortly after I graduated from high school, though, I moved in with the guy I dated starting October of my senior year, so I guess at that point we had been together 10 or 11 months. The relationship ended up very much not working out, but as far as the living situation went, that was pretty okay. It wasn't the living together that ended it so much as that he decided he wanted to go to college far away out of state to get away from his crazy family, I agreed and then a week before we were supposed to move, he ended up saying that he didn't want to leave because he just started reconnecting with his dad, etc.


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:37 am 
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Location: Seattle
I have had someone move in with me at 5 months. We were planning on waiting until 6 to really discuss it but his living situation became intolerable. It was too soon in that case; we would certainly have broken up a lot sooner and cleaner (and for the better) if it wasn't complicated by living together.

Biker boy and I have been together for 16 months and we've really only discussed it sort of vaguely. I'm ready and if we were one or both apartment dwellers I think we'd be making plans for when leases are up, but we both own our homes and that makes the negotiations a bit more cumbersome.

I think what timing works/makes sense really depends on the individuals.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:42 am 
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we moved in together after not that long - maybe 4-5 months... BUT we had already sat next to each other at work for two years before that, and by the time we started "officially dating" we both really knew what we were getting into. In general, I am a very cautious person... so I rented out my condo for about 2 years before I finally sold it. Just in case!

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:46 am 
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He started staying over a lot - like 5 times a week...A little over a year into our relationship his mom kicked him out and he had no where to go so he moved in...

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:50 am 
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Location: Smugville, CA
When I was 19 I moved in with my boyfriend of approximately 6 months, and it was disastrous. When I was 21 I moved in with my boyfriend of about two months (not necessarily by choice, but more out of a drastic situation) and we ended up being together (not always in the same city!) just shy of 11 years, and we're still best friends. Now I'm seeing someone new and while I think living together could definitely be in the cards, I can't conceive it doing it before, oh, say, at least a year from now.

I think ultimately it shouldn't be a question of what's "normal" so much as what's best for all parties concerned. Obviously, that can change with time and with the changing of the co-habitant!

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:52 am 
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Calls "cavemen" on that
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The day we met. Literally. January we will have been together 10 years (engaged for like 3.5). We even own a house together now!


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:57 am 
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I moved in with my soon to be ex at about 2 months. It wasn't due to finances or situation really. My friends were upset but strangely my parents were supportive. It worked out pretty well... for a while. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:03 pm 
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I totally asked this question on here a year and a half ago! I moved in with my most recent ex after only a month and a half. It wasn't ideal, but we did it because she had room and I was being kicked out of my place. We did surprisingly well considering she is someone who likes a lot of alone time. I'm probably actually one of the few she could stand with as much time as we had together (we lived together a year and 2 months or so), but things got awkward when she bought a house with her mom and no room for myself.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:15 pm 
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4 years. We were going to move in after 1.5 years (at age 22) but he got freaked out and broke up with me. He called me within the week to get back together and I almost didn't just to spite him. I'm glad I took him back! We've now been together 20 years.


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:23 pm 
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ameyfm wrote:
we moved in together after not that long - maybe 4-5 months... BUT we had already sat next to each other at work for two years before that, and by the time we started "officially dating" we both really knew what we were getting into. In general, I am a very cautious person... so I rented out my condo for about 2 years before I finally sold it. Just in case!


My husband and I were in a similar situation, we had sat next to eachother at work for about 2 years. I still have my townhome that I rented out though and it has been 7 years since I moved (and 6 years since we got married).

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:55 pm 
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part-time after only a few weeks (school was significantly closer to my parents' house) full time over the summer break, and then again full time a year in, and then we bought a house 1.5 years in, and married 2.5 years in. no regrets. :-)

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:58 pm 
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I moved in with a boyfriend as a young'un (I was 21 or so at the time) after two months of dating but he had to find a new place and he couldn't be at my place all the time because I was renting with my sister at the time and that really isn't fair to her. So it was necessity that got us to move in earlier than I might have felt prudent. Also, as soon as we moved in together--he got tres moody and when I say moody, that's not really accurate because he was muthafucking cranky ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. Mr. Hyde came to stay, Dr. Jekyll was nowhere to be found anymore. Argh! And he wasn't like that before he moved in, I tell you what. I got tired of the continual foul mood in short order. But I don't think however many months or weeks or days or hours is too early or whatever. If it feels right, then why not.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:02 pm 
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Location: Boston, MA
Next month, I'm moving in with a guy that I met 2 months ago. So I'll have known him almost 3 months by the time I get there! He's in Vancouver and I'm in Boston so it's not like we can easily see each other or anything. We'll be living on a small boat, I'm more worried about adjusting to that than I am about adjusting to living with him.

I've lived with one other guy (we moved from Utah to Boston together after college) after dating him for 7 months. It was bad. I haven't even considered living with any other guy that I've dated until now.


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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:19 pm 
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We moved in after 2.5 years, but it's a bit different because I was young (17) when we first met, so really we moved out at the earliest possible opportunity. I almost went to live with his family before he and I moved out together though, since my homelife was so rotten, his parents offered to take me in.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:41 pm 
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Not NOT A Furry
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Location: Eugene, OR
When I was 19, I moved to Oregon (from Illinois) to live with my sister who needed a roommate. I had planned on ending up in Oregon eventually, but I thought it would be after college. When I left, I had been dating my boyfriend for 7 months, and we had been pretty close for the few months leading up to that. Neither of us brought up breaking up, and he moved out to Oregon in the spring. Now we've been together over 3.5 years. We have similar habits, so other than the occasional grump about doing dishes when neither of us want to, it's working out really well.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:41 pm 
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We started living together at about 4.5 months...we were spending every night together (literally) for 3-3.5 of the first 4.5 months anyway, other than when I went on a trip to my parents' and he stayed at my place with my cat. Really since we got together we have only not spent the night together if one of us is out of town besides maybe 2 or 3 times near the beginning. It has been almost 11 months now total, so living together about 6 months...we are quite happy with it.

I think it is pretty interesting how after being with some people for much longer moving in together was still not appealing, but with this manfriend it seemed right quite quickly. It also helped that the cat bonded to him.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:54 pm 
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Moved in after 7 months, but it would have been earlier had our leases permitted. Prior to meeting him, I would have thought I was crazy for doing so. It's working out just fine (we'll be married in four months, so I should hope we can cohabitate without much stress!).

I don't think there's any "normal" way of doing it, but it's been my experience that people rush more often than not. All I can say is that if I had done this before I really had a well-defined sense of self, it would have been terrible.

And if you never want to move in with a partner, that's fine too. There are perks to flying solo (like being able to pick your nose without judgment).

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:58 pm 
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Location: Brighton, England.
My husband and I moved in together after three years of dating. I've never lived with any other romantic partners but Nick & I got together when I was 21 & every guy I dated before him was a prick.

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 Post subject: Re: Moving In
PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:13 pm 
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Me and my gf knew each other for about a year prior to moving in. We were about ready to 6 months in or so, but circumstances (including us having jobs/school in different cities) made it more difficult.


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