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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 1:33 pm 
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ugh
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I just wanted to say that even though I've only been engaged a couple days, I'm already stressed at the idea of wedding planning. But some of the sweet stuff you folks have posted in this thread really helps put things in perspective. Weddings don't have to be just huge stress magnets, right? I'm having a fun party to celebrate being in love!

PS: I am so happy for all of you and I'm sorry I haven't been in here before to say so.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:57 pm 
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b.vicious wrote:
I just wanted to say that even though I've only been engaged a couple days, I'm already stressed at the idea of wedding planning. But some of the sweet stuff you folks have posted in this thread really helps put things in perspective. Weddings don't have to be just huge stress magnets, right? I'm having a fun party to celebrate being in love!

PS: I am so happy for all of you and I'm sorry I haven't been in here before to say so.

Yeah, I'm the type to take on huge projects and get really stressed out about them, but from day one I've told myself I simply will not get stressed out about the wedding. It kind of annoys me that everyone assumes that since we're planning a wedding I must be so stressed out all the time! It's really not a big deal.

We'll see if I have the same attitude 1 week before our wedding.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:01 pm 
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vijita wrote:
Okay. I felt really weird once when I went to a wedding and the couple asked for monetary donations in lieu of gifts. Mainly because I was bringing our cash-stuffed card up to the bride and she promptly said "IS THERE MONEY IN THERE?". However, I don't want gifts, but we do really really really want to make a trip/honeymoon (to England to introduce Jay to my English relatives then to maybe Turkey), so do you guys think it is tacky to ask for money? I really don't want my friends to contribute much...I mean I'd be happy with five bucks, but people like my parents can afford to contribute a bit more. I am so conflicted as to whether this is annoying or not. I would absolutely never ever EXPECT anything, but sometimes people just like giving something, right?

Weddings gift etiquette is so annoying. No one goes to a wedding empty handed, but stating what you want unless you do it in a pretty online registry is somehow tacky? IT MAKES NO SENSE. Anyway, you could set up a honeymoon registry, or if you don't ask for anything people will just bring cash in a card.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:35 pm 
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You know...that's what I'm going to do. Say "no gifts please" and then my broke friends like me don't have to stress but the wealthier people might opt to contribute to the honeymoon fund. If they don't, no worries. No one owes me anything, and it's enough that my family and friends are paying money to come up here, since nearly all of them live elsewhere.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:08 am 
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Here goes nuthin'!

Today's our big day! I'm feeling totally relaxed and stoked. Yesterday I even had time to go to my favorite 2-hour yoga class, and Mr. Ameyfm stayed home to watch some US Open on tv before we had a nice dinner for friends and family at my parents' house. It's so fun to see everyone we love! This morning, I went to farmer's market for strawberries, took my shower, did my pranayama practice, ate breakfast, and now it's time to go! What fun! I'll be thinking of my fellow PPK brides & grooms today!!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:11 am 
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also Vijita,
I've heard of a couple who did some sort of honeymoon registry, where they registered for different nights in different hotels along the way... and then they sent postcards from each place to thank the people who had gotten that for them. That seemed to me like a pretty cool thing to do.

We just said "no gifts" - and then the people who know us well enough to get us something can do that if they want to, but there is no obligation or expectation. So far, people keep giving us Champagne, which is hilarious because I hardly drink at all. So, we'll have those bottles for years, I guess! :)

ps. can't wait to see you! must email you!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 6:14 pm 
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CONGRATS AMEY! (and Musty). And OMG, I will see you the DAY AFTER TOMORROW. So exciting. Bring that Champagne. Just kidding.

Okay. So I can't decide about catering/no catering. There is a company that is a partner of my work who are willing to accept recipes and make vegan food, and I have a good relationship with their staff, but I don't think they are the most creative. There is also a cheaper company that specializes in more vegetarian-leaning options, however they are kind of predictable and the staff aren't as nice. Thirdly, there is a restaurant we have a business relationship who are STOKED on farm-fresh, gorgeous produce, and healthy food, but their downfall is that the food is expensive and the portions are teeny. Fourthly, there is an all vegan tamale/taco cart up-island who have said they'd be thrilled to cater, but they have gas costs and it's very informal. Not that I mind, but my meat-eating relatives might be weirded out by a seitan tamale. Lastly, I could make the food myself, with help from vegan BFFs (Hi Jess), but that might be a bit more stressful than is worthwhile. Suggestions? I'm kind of leaning towards the taco truck or DIY.


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 9:35 pm 
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Oh my god, I LOVE the taco truck idea!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:01 pm 
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Taco truck!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:56 pm 
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Um a vegan taco truck wedding is a forking incredible idea. I'd hit that wedding TWICE.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:22 am 
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I would want that taco truck at all of my life events.

And yay Amey! Congratulations and I hope everything was amazing (of course it would have been!).

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 3:43 am 
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Okay, I'm sold on the taco truck. I just hope they can do more fillings than they have right now, but I'm sure they can. It is rad to be able to hire an 100% vegan company, and they will be fabulous. Yay!


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:50 am 
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I think that is such a fun idea! Maybe you can recommend a couple fillings for them to make.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 8:14 am 
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Ameyfm, congrats on your big day! Pictures please!

Congrats on the engagement b.vicious!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:57 pm 
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vijita wrote:
Okay. I felt really weird once when I went to a wedding and the couple asked for monetary donations in lieu of gifts. Mainly because I was bringing our cash-stuffed card up to the bride and she promptly said "IS THERE MONEY IN THERE?". However, I don't want gifts, but we do really really really want to make a trip/honeymoon (to England to introduce Jay to my English relatives then to maybe Turkey), so do you guys think it is tacky to ask for money? I really don't want my friends to contribute much...I mean I'd be happy with five bucks, but people like my parents can afford to contribute a bit more. I am so conflicted as to whether this is annoying or not. I would absolutely never ever EXPECT anything, but sometimes people just like giving something, right?

I don't know if you're still deciding on this, but we recently went to a wedding where the couple didn't want any gifts, and the way they worded it was something along the lines of "we've already got the makings of a home, so please no gifts" and somehow also nicely mentioned that monetary gifts would be gratefully received. They didn't directly accept the cards/etc. There was a table set out for it, I believe. So no big deal if you couldn't/didn't want to contribute more than wishes.

ETA: Also, totally have the vegan taco truck do it! That would be so awesome!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 1:54 pm 
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bodhi wrote:
vijita wrote:
Okay. I felt really weird once when I went to a wedding and the couple asked for monetary donations in lieu of gifts. Mainly because I was bringing our cash-stuffed card up to the bride and she promptly said "IS THERE MONEY IN THERE?". However, I don't want gifts, but we do really really really want to make a trip/honeymoon (to England to introduce Jay to my English relatives then to maybe Turkey), so do you guys think it is tacky to ask for money? I really don't want my friends to contribute much...I mean I'd be happy with five bucks, but people like my parents can afford to contribute a bit more. I am so conflicted as to whether this is annoying or not. I would absolutely never ever EXPECT anything, but sometimes people just like giving something, right?

I don't know if you're still deciding on this, but we recently went to a wedding where the couple didn't want any gifts, and the way they worded it was something along the lines of "we've already got the makings of a home, so please no gifts" and somehow also nicely mentioned that monetary gifts would be gratefully received. They didn't directly accept the cards/etc. There was a table set out for it, I believe. So no big deal if you couldn't/didn't want to contribute more than wishes.


it really helps to have your parents/siblings/bridal party know the plan so they can pass on the gift info when they talk to friends and extended family. we had to go a little heavy handed on the no gifts thing, because we were overseas while planning the wedding and completely unsure what was going to happen to us in the year following the wedding. i was waiting on acceptance to a program, my partner had quit his job and gotten rid of his apartment, and if school fell through, we were planning to go back overseas. so not only did we not want any stuff, we literally would not have had a place to keep it.

my mom, his mom, and our groomsmen/bridesmaids all understood the situation and were very helpful in passing along that info to various guests they talked to. especially helpful when it came to great aunt mabel* who desperately wanted to gift us an entire table's worth of crystal and grandma doris* who simply didn't understand why we didn't have a proper registry.

most people were pretty understanding, and we only got a few physical gifts, half of which were VERY special and sentimental to us and worth trying to find storage for. it was much less awkward not having to word it too specifically in the invites, or to have to tell people ourselves that we only wanted money.

*fictional characters (but we did get an awful lot of crystal from an aunt of my husband's and some people were in fact almost offended by the lack of a registry)


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:15 pm 
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bodhi wrote:
I don't know if you're still deciding on this, but we recently went to a wedding where the couple didn't want any gifts, and the way they worded it was something along the lines of "we've already got the makings of a home, so please no gifts" and somehow also nicely mentioned that monetary gifts would be gratefully received. They didn't directly accept the cards/etc. There was a table set out for it, I believe. So no big deal if you couldn't/didn't want to contribute more than wishes.


Boyfriend's sister is getting married next month and she and her partner had a little card in the invitations that had some poem about how their house is already a home or whatever and they would appreciate a donation to their 'wishing well' in lieu of gifts. Pretty sure they got the poem off the internet or something. I just tried Googling it and all the websites that came up were Australian, so maybe that's just an Australian sort of tradition, but it's pretty common and no one ever really seems to be offended by it (though that might be in part due to the inherent laziness of Australians, who hate the effort associated with gift shopping).

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:23 pm 
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We just did our dessert tasting at Dovetail. Free cupcakes and pie = best night ever.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:37 pm 
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Erinnerung wrote:
(though that might be in part due to the inherent laziness of Australians, who hate the effort associated with gift shopping).


I was going to argue with this, but then I couldn't be bothered.


Also, congrats to all the newly-wedded and engaged folks!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:11 am 
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bodhi wrote:
vijita wrote:
Okay. I felt really weird once when I went to a wedding and the couple asked for monetary donations in lieu of gifts. Mainly because I was bringing our cash-stuffed card up to the bride and she promptly said "IS THERE MONEY IN THERE?". However, I don't want gifts, but we do really really really want to make a trip/honeymoon (to England to introduce Jay to my English relatives then to maybe Turkey), so do you guys think it is tacky to ask for money? I really don't want my friends to contribute much...I mean I'd be happy with five bucks, but people like my parents can afford to contribute a bit more. I am so conflicted as to whether this is annoying or not. I would absolutely never ever EXPECT anything, but sometimes people just like giving something, right?

I don't know if you're still deciding on this, but we recently went to a wedding where the couple didn't want any gifts, and the way they worded it was something along the lines of "we've already got the makings of a home, so please no gifts" and somehow also nicely mentioned that monetary gifts would be gratefully received. They didn't directly accept the cards/etc. There was a table set out for it, I believe. So no big deal if you couldn't/didn't want to contribute more than wishes.

ETA: Also, totally have the vegan taco truck do it! That would be so awesome!

My boss just got married this past weekend and they didn't want gifts or for anyone to feel they had to give cash. So they had a box sort of like a post box, on the table with their wishing tree* where guests could make donations and drop in cards. It was pretty cool.

(*this was their alternative to a guest book, where people could write them little notes and pin them on the tree)

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:52 am 
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I'm still waffling between making all my own food or having it catered, but look at this AMAZING menu (I totally cannot afford) that a caterer put together!


Freshly baked rolls
***
Toasted yam and peanut bisque
***
Grilled asparagus and beet salad
***
Roasted hazelnut, arugula and melon salad ***
Smoked tomato and chick pea salad ***
Red lentil dhal
***
Celeriac koftas in yellow curry
***
Seitan Pad Thai
***
Grilled eggplant with butternut squash in a coconut cream ***
Served with the following accompaniments:
***
Cumin scented tomato chutney
***
Coconut yogurt
***
Coriander purée
***
Roasted eggplant raita
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Pickled vegetables


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:55 am 
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That sounds awesome! Catering is freaking expensive, though, right? And so many venues require that you use a certain caterer.

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:56 am 
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That menu sounds amazing!

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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:01 pm 
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b.vicious wrote:
That sounds awesome! Catering is freaking expensive, though, right? And so many venues require that you use a certain caterer.

It is! But because I work at the venue, I have free reign on catering. I think I'm going to try to negotiate with them, drop a few items, and hopefully drop a decent amount pp. If not, I'm gonna make it all myself! With help from jdfunks and mablestone. :)


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 Post subject: Re: weddings are annoying, but...
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:10 pm 
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Wow I just want to eat all that food... right now.

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