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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:28 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Oh Ariann, I love you. I feel the same way, ie not chill at all. Just really cold and frustrated. I need to be in our house and space because I think if I were anywhere else, I'd be so unmoored. We were at one friend's and she sweetly offered to host us, but her 2 year old kept hitting Leela in the head with things and they had a giant steep unchildproof staircase that I had to keep L off, because natch it was her favorite thing in the world. Oh and their house smelled like chicken, and I kept feeling like retching. Also Mr T refused to go anywhere but his mom's, where I can't stay bc she has a giant untrained dog that jumps on everyone and runs laps on your lap if you sit down- it is basically asking for L to get hurt. And her guest bedroom gave me the worst asthma attack last fall bc it is a billion tschochkes covered in 10 years of dust. Plus the unguarded staircase that i'd have to police L around. Just no. I'd rather be home, with the animals and go out everyday someplace warm.

Hugs to you, sweet Mama!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:45 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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We've been offered other places, but since we've landed in one, I don't want to uproot Malka again. We are relying on big baby fences to create a safe space here. Mr. A spent another few hours scrubbing the kitchen today - still uninhabitable, I don't know how these people live like this.

I just couldn't deal with the dark anymore, plus the neighborhood was getting quieter and quieter, no kids outside, it was just too depressing.

Last year we were without power for a week in October ("Snowpocalypse") and a few days in August (Hurricane Irene). In August it didn't matter, we were just hot, but in October we had Malka so we moved into my mother's who still had power (and was across the country, yay). Power company is saying 7 days from today now. People are rallying on our mayor's facebook page to get out of our town contract with the power company. Not that I think anybody else would be any better, they're all really the same people when it comes to emergencies, relying on each others' crews, maintenance workers, etc. Many have said they will refuse to pay electric bills for November as protest. Whatever. I just want to live in my apartment again. No idea how we're going to vote, irritated at the prospect of having to drive 40 miles round trip to my polling place now.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:06 am 
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The baby has decided that he will scream inconsolably from 5 to 8 every night. Nothing that my husband or I do calms him down for more than 5 or 10 minutes. It's at the point where we're actually angry at the baby... which makes us both feel like awful parents... sigh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:22 pm 
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Wrote Dissertation on Vegans, Meat, and the Deserted Island Question
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aww bcakes I have totally been there...and everyone's comments about "oh it's just the witching hour for the baby!" didn't really help. No advice I'm afraid, just hang in there and you are NOT awful parents.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:43 pm 
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Carlos used to be particularly fussy during that time. One thing that helped was trying to get him to bed earlier. There was nothing simple about it though, just remember to walk away if you need to. Some time alone for a baby in their crib screaming is better than time holding them when you are angry. Feeling angry is the worst, I've totally been there, and it makes you feel like the worst parent in the world, but yeah, you are not alone, you will get through it, and hopefully it will get better sooner rather than later.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:00 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Oy. Malka did that for awhile, too. Do you think it's colic?

The thing that always helped with Malka was wrapping her tightly in the Moby wrap and walking with her (mostly on the treadmill). Sometimes it meant walking for several hours, but my husband and I would trade off and walk slowly so it wasn't too exhausting. If she fell asleep like that we'd go to sleep with her still attached to us. She also used to do this overnight sometimes, I'm sure our downstairs neighbors were pleased about us turning on the treadmill at 2 in the morning!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:31 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Oh, big hugs bcakes! The angry feeling is so very hard to deal with. I had that just today with Freya having a screaming fit because she was tired and refusing to sleep. Saying "sssh, time to sleep" but thinking "oh my god, go to sleep stoooopid baby". Yeah, you feel like a shiitake parent, but it's normal. :)

If gas/colic is an issue, you could try a football sorta hold, with some light pressure on the tummy/abdomen. Freya didn't have colic, but she did have super bad screaming bloody murder gas for awhile, and this sometimes helped, along with swaying movement.

Good luck! Babies most often grow out of this colicky phase, too. Whew :)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:04 pm 
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kimba wrote:
Carlos used to be particularly fussy during that time. One thing that helped was trying to get him to bed earlier.

Yeah, when Lydia was younger, she needed a 6:30 pm bedtime. We thought an 8 pm bedtime was early enough, but it totally wasn't for her at that age. At age 2, she now goes to bed at 8 pm, but when she was under a year old, she needed that super early bedtime.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:13 pm 
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Ariann wrote:
Oy. Malka did that for awhile, too. Do you think it's colic?

The thing that always helped with Malka was wrapping her tightly in the Moby wrap and walking with her (mostly on the treadmill). Sometimes it meant walking for several hours, but my husband and I would trade off and walk slowly so it wasn't too exhausting. If she fell asleep like that we'd go to sleep with her still attached to us. She also used to do this overnight sometimes, I'm sure our downstairs neighbors were pleased about us turning on the treadmill at 2 in the morning!


We had to do pretty much this with my older son too. (He had really bad reflux which in hindsight probably contributed to this, though I also think some babies just go through it for a while.) I also used to take him and stand in the bathroom with the fan on, that was the other thing that regularly soothed him during his fussy (such an innocuous sounding word) time. Babies adapt really fast though, so something that works one day often won't the next. (That part is shitty but normal.)

How old is your little guy now? I want to say that fussiness is said to peak around 8 weeks and be mostly gone by about 12 weeks for most babies.

Hang in there bcakes.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:21 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Seconding the football hold for gassiness. I also cut out soy from my diet and it felt like that may have helped a bit. I had oversupply, so we switched to blockfeeding and that helped as well. I felt so helpless and useless when she would just cry and cry and cry. Sorry you're having a rough time.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:17 pm 
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bcakes wrote:
The baby has decided that he will scream inconsolably from 5 to 8 every night. Nothing that my husband or I do calms him down for more than 5 or 10 minutes. It's at the point where we're actually angry at the baby... which makes us both feel like awful parents... sigh.


Awww, I feel for you. I call that the "witching hour." Both my kids did that around that time. One had colic, one didn't.
I think they are just overwhelmed from the whole day and overstimulated, but not tired enough to sleep yet. I would just cradle them tighter and rock them, nurse as much as possible, or wear them.
My son would stop crying if the water faucet was running, (we eventually made a recording of it) or if we "flew" him around the house.
It goes away eventually, I promise!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:42 pm 
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Sorry bcakes, that's so hard. I agree about trying an earlier bedtime. We didn't even try to put Scarlett to bed by herself for the first two months; we would just hold her whenever we were awake and let her go in and out of sleep whenever she wanted, then try to have her sleep in bed at whatever time we would normally go to sleep. Once we started putting her down by herself around 8 every night it became clear to us that she did a lot better with more of a routine and an early bedtime. Looking back, I probably would have wanted to start that sooner.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:37 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Bcakes, that's so rough! Our little one has started really doing that lately. It's not fun. I hope your little one settles into a happy routine soon!

So Z is having some annoying sleep issues, and he's been cranky all week. This coincides with my partner picking up a part-time job, so we get just a little less of him now. :( And our upstairs neighbours who moved in last month use their laundry machine ALL THE TIME, and the ones in our apartment building are super loud. So every time I go to put Z for a nap or bed, we hear WUB WUB WUB WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB. (Quiet hours begin at 9, not so useful for a baby's sleep schedule.) Anyway, I think he's down for the evening, and even though I'm sure he'll wake in an hour, I know he'll at least go back to sleep. By then my partner will be on his way home, and I can have some much needed snuggles.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 2:26 am 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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bcakes wrote:
The baby has decided that he will scream inconsolably from 5 to 8 every night. Nothing that my husband or I do calms him down for more than 5 or 10 minutes. It's at the point where we're actually angry at the baby... which makes us both feel like awful parents... sigh.

bcakes, I have been there (with both my kids). It gets better, I promise. (I have no advice [unless you have a tractor -- my paternal gran used to ride her youngest around on the tractor to get him to chill -- I don't have a tractor, so nothing worked for me], but lots of sympathy.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:00 am 
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We were in the same boat not so long ago too. After having the little tyke screaming full force in my ear for an hour or two despite all my best efforts at soothing him I would be so resentful and angry. I remember thinking ALOT that this was not what I had thought I was signing up for when I had a baby - but it is all soooooo much better now. We never were able to get a very early bedtime going but did figure out a routine of getting him to nap during part of that time. Now at almost 4 months old he is the happiest, smiling-est baby. Hang in there!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:35 pm 
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Thanks everyone. Complaining here made me feel a lot better and more able to deal with the screaming. I think Phineas has a combination of reflux and tiredness contributing to his nightly fussiness. We've been trying to make the reflux better as best we can, but he just fights us on going to sleep when he's tired. He's one month old today, so hopefully he'll grow out of this phase soon. (I can't believe he's one month old and already so much bigger than when we was born!)

If we had someplace to operate a tractor, I would totally consider buying one. We are getting desperate.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 5:53 am 
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Got up to nurse at 4 am...baby drifted off to sleep and I was just putting him back down when I get a most terrible whiff of dirty diaper. (We haven't had an overnight dirty diaper in weeks) I get him undressed enough to check the dipe - only to discover it is completely clean. I now have a wide awake baby on my hands and all I want to do is go back to bed!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 11:11 am 
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D'oh! I hate the fakeout diapers!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 9:31 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Leela is really having a hard time staying asleep. Mr T is out of town and I have to find a way to let the dog out for a last pee, and I can't do it. Everytime I leave the room, she wakes up and needs to be nursed back down. No crying, just wide awake.

Go to sleep baby!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:50 pm 
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I love you so much. Stop being a crabby potato and go to sleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:22 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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solipsistnation again? :p

(hope M is feeling better by now)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:56 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Zephyr, you're so cute, but seriously! I just need a couple non-clingy moments today to take a shower. (He awesomely napped a bunch today, but... on me. I was totally stuck, and therefore still unshowered.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:27 pm 
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I need to mommy vent. Lorelei started a screeching phase a few days ago and also taken to tossing and turning in bed and kicking us. Since our household goods are not here yet we are without a crib and have to co-sleep for another month or so even though we already transitioned her to the crib months ago. No mommy and daddy time for a few weeks now and listening to screeching and getting no sleep, I am now pretty much on my last bit of patience before my head explodes. I don't know what to do. I need a break so bad. It has been so difficult with the move and trying to keep her entertained with only a few toys that we have for her and nothing else being here right now. You can only take so much.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:12 pm 
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Semen Strong
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STOP INVITING US TO PLAYDATES IF YOUR KID IS SICK! Two people in two days. Yesterday I show up at a friend's house and her daughter is just leaking snot.* Today another friend calls me and asks me to come over and hang. Thirty mins later she calls to say her kids cough is so bad they are going to the pediatrician. And we are invited and confirmed for her kid's party on Sunday. FML, have expensive and shitty insurance so I have to pay out of pocket if my kid gets sick, so you springing a sick kid on me not only means my kid suffers but that I end up worrying about her but not able to go to the MD or spending money I don't have.

Before we had L, I cut off a friend who did this to us all the time. She'd arrive, her kids would hug and kiss us and then she'd say offhandedly "oh they are supersick, but you should be fin:e." Cue 2 weeks in bed coughing for my immunocompromised husband.

Stop being inconsiderate! Between the kids exposed to the pox and leakynosed babies, we really can't go anywhere with non-PPK momfriends

* when I noticed my friend's kid was leaking snot, we left and came home.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:45 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Wow, I can't even imagine! That is really awful, Tofulish. It's unbelievable that they'd invite you and your little one when their own kids are obviously sick. Good on you for standing up for yourself and Leela by removing yourself from situations like that. I think it can be so hard to leave when your kid wants to play, but the situation isn't good. Major kudos to you.

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