Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Oh man, I'm cringing for you thinking of those stinky soccer feet! Kids make no sense.

TRS refuses to believe this his showering needs are changing. He takes it personally.

Henry is pretty good about the showering. We let him know months ago that once he started middle school, showers had to happen every night. Bodies change, needs change. So far he is working with us on it.

Shae is now running for school president and got some sort of award today for excellence in Math. This kid is all ups and downs, total rollercoaster.

I thought my cousins were just horrible when they were tweens and teens. Spoiled, entitled, rude and so bratty. And now one is in med school and the other has just finished law school and the others are in college and they are just lovely and adorable people.

I think its so great to remember that all our kids are going to turn out awesome :) Even if they go through bumpy periods on the way

A friend of mine said pretty much the same thing to me yesterday. Reminded me that Henry is doing what he's suppose to be doing. Testing me, figuring it out, doing the ups and downs. And he will turn out just great.

it's hard to remember when ALL I SEE IS EYE ROLLING!!!! seriously, you're going to hurt yourself.

Ummm...
So my 18 year old moved out. And was back in three weeks. Which we did expect, just not that soon.
But after coming back we told him he had to work or be in school. He got a decent stop-gap job. Which he is threatening to quit two days in.
I want to be there for him. I suffer some residual trauma from being kicked out at 18 (that was not even about me at the time). But at the same time, child, get it together. His dad and I are way more willing to find ways to support him and make the transition easier. But we need to be getting something from him. Not just dirty towels on the floor.

jeez kfad. this is the story of my mother and sister---- at almost 30 still no job, no school, living at home. she quits every job 1 or 2 days in. my mom feels sorry for her, and that is the end.
i think the fact that you're articulate and realistic about the situation will make your outcome different, at least that's what i hope.

my kid just had a huge pissy hissy fit about having to stay home with me (and then later go to a BBQ with me this afternoon). Just as her dad left (she wanted to go with him and watch anime on the computer all day), he stomped out, the usual. Fifteen minutes later, she was with me picking berries, doing laundry, and now making food for the BBQ. she literally oscillates wildly between fantastic and horrid. glad i get to see the fantastic today, as surely it means that tomorrow will be horrid......


also, just to keep the suspense up..... report cards should be out any day now......

He didn't quit. Not yet. So maybe the very clear rules we laid out got through.

Which now frees me up to deal with the 15 year old and the 12 year old. Can I just say... my house is hormone soup.

My 12 year old is sitting on the couch, doing homework, chanting "turn the knob".
I have no idea.
What amazes me is that I have three kids... a boy and two girls. The boy and the youngest girl are incredibly similar in personality. A bit loud, always chaotic.
Genetics and environment are interesting things.

Glad to see this thread. My daughter is only 10 but she acts pretty hormonal sometimes. Lately it's random crying. She told me herself "Just to let you know, I have been crying for no reason lately." I think she'll probably be getting her period in the next year or two and she's already getting the monthly hormone surges.

The hardest for me is when her other girl friend comes over and they trash talk other kids and gossip. I know I did that too when I was a kid but I don't like it and I obviously want her to be a better person than I am. I feel bad bringing the subject up to her (though i do) because it implies I am nosing into her private life & eavesdropping, and I want her to feel she has some privacy and can trust me. I'd never read her diary unless I saw her come home with a black eye or a drug problem, but I think loud conversations overheard through an open door are fair game. Any ideas?

On showering: When her dad took her to the doctor because of bumps on her arms the doc said she should only bath every 2 or 3 days because she has super dry skin. That may be true but her hair sure gets greasy. I want to just say "fine, do what you feel," but I'll admit I don't want people to think her mom doesn't make her wash her hair. Maybe dry shampoo on off-days is a solution.

so things have been pretty good, and i know that in the big picture this is no big deal, but i need to vent....

you know that teenybopper thing about endlessly chattering and saying things just to see mom or dad get revved up? i'm sick of it.

the vaguely hinted comments about how dark and angsty she is and the million ways she knows how to kill a zombie? had enough.
the comments about how she would love to be the emperor of the universe and torture everyone for revenge, then descriptions in exquisite detail? quitsville.
and all the anti-religious/satanic comments, constantly, really i love atheists [honestly, not sure how i feel about satanists], but i hate proselytizers (sp?) of all stripes, be they evangelicals, atheists or whatever. so please stop.

I know she's just trying to get a rise out of me, not having horrible existential problems. I don't tick off very easily, so she tries even harder. I try to think of my sainted mother, but even I didn't try this hard when I was a kid torturing her. And if I had dared to make any religious comment, my mother would have taken me to the local evangelical church and enrolled me for a full summer of indoctrination, just as punishment (she is not evangelical, btw). Maybe I should do the same thing.

I used to flip my head over the kitchen sink and wash my hair that way. I've done it over the bathtub too. After the first time or two, it's not messy at all.

I second this (and still do it myself)! (I also have bumpy arms (keratosis pilaris, I think) and was told not to bathe too often -- fortunately, I am not stinky or greasy, although I was a greasy-faced teenager.)

Thanks for the advise, I can't believe I didn't think of that! The rest of her isn't stinky, just the long hair when it isn't washed. Hopefully she won't inherit my acne, but if so at least I'll kind of know how to deal with it.

This is an anti-complain! My teen is being his old normal and sweet and kind of magical self lately. I love the peaks that come from suffering the pits.

oh good, i am too lazy to find the sweet moments thread. the kid and i made fancy cupcakes for her to bring to a party as a surprise today. cupcakes are a Big forking Deal here and they are going to win her 10000000 brownie points with her kind-of-nasty-girl friends [unless it all turns out as some cruel preteen nightmare, which i suppose is always possible]- these cupcakes are AMAZING. i am proud of her, but more proud of her father, who said "well OF COURSE they're fantastic cupcakes" as if everything she makes doesn't usually end up carbonized or leaking everywhere.

Yay, so happy for her! Hope the cupcakes to over well!

Reminding ourselves that that our tweens/teens are still awesome people despite the crazies is worth going off topic, I think.

cupcakes were a grand success!!!!

I've found that my hair adapts to the frequency with which I was it. I used to wash it daily until my stylist here told me to try washing it less often, and gradually I cut back to every 4 days or so. Now my hair is the same level of gross on day 4 as it used to be the day after I showered. It also helps my color last waaaay longer. And showering/styling is faster.

Sitting here watching TV thinking how glad I am it's wall mounted because *everything* that is not nailed down ends up in Flames' room. I'm getting so sick of it. Especially since it then usually ends up broken.

no forking shiitake!! my expensive mascara? gone, baby gone. any of my craft, makeup, jewelry stuff. so much stuff i can't get here. And it all ends up on the floor, and when i step on it it's my fault. OOOOOOOOOBVIOUSLY MOM, der.................

(in a totally non-complaint mode: two kids got arrested for dealing drugs in her school yesterday. one is her classmate's boyfriend. i know drugs are ubiquitous and all and she's younger than everyone but jeebus, already?? She's 12!)

So glad I'm not the only one! I've been attempting to be better about hanging on to my stuff, or getting it back. Cause I didn't take a vow of material abstinence here. I want stuff!

We did a test this semester with Shae. We didn't look at his grades (posted online) until the day they hit progress reports to see what he would do on his own, without extra prodding. Just the usual, did you finish your homework? What are you working on tonight? stuff. High school is coming and he needs to handle this stuff more on his own.

All grades on tests, debates, projects are 105's-150's. Yes, a 150? Nothing under a 105 in any of his advanced classes. Then notebook graded- basically just putting the work you do in a folder after it's already been grades, D's and F's. Having us sign a test that he did perfectly on? Zeros. SO LAZY. I just can't even. He feels bad about it now, but says he didn't care because he says he learned the information, so why should he bother? Because your teacher says so, that is why.

That whole teaching them to think for themselves thing totally comes back to bite you.