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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 7:39 am 
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kfad wrote:
The guy downtown who stopped my 15 year old (lesbian) daughter to tell her that she only dresses like she dresses to attract men.

She went off. Informing him that he was part of the problem by telling a woman why she dresses as she dresses. Especially since she would never dress any way to attract something she does not want.

I have to say... sassy kid makes me happy.

Your kid is awesome.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:04 am 
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My boss tells me repeatedly that I'm ignorant/stupid/an idiot/ridiculous for voting on social issues like abortion rights because they "don't matter." The election is over and he's still harassing me about it. Time to get over it.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:11 pm 
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Isn't what he is doing illegal?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:36 am 
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kilgore trout wrote:
kfad wrote:
The guy downtown who stopped my 15 year old (lesbian) daughter to tell her that she only dresses like she dresses to attract men.

She went off. Informing him that he was part of the problem by telling a woman why she dresses as she dresses. Especially since she would never dress any way to attract something she does not want.

I have to say... sassy kid makes me happy.

Your kid is awesome.

No kidding. I wish more kids were raised to speak up for themselves like that. And, you know, to have some sort of decent feminist analysis. I seem to hear so much slut bashing from teens.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:17 am 
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The childcare center I work in is full of women who either ignore or don't understand the sexism (or racism, but that's for another thread) we face every day, and denigrate anyone who speaks out against it, or tries to teach egalitarian values to the children. I'm so forking sick of being dismissed as someone who is "looking to be offended" when I'm voicing valid concerns, or having some of them jabber behind my back because "women just tend to gossip" instead of addressing people directly. I've worked in childcare for a long time and have dealt with this before, but this is the first center I've worked at where the catty people openly use sexism to justify their shitty behavior.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:05 pm 
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kimba wrote:
Isn't what he is doing illegal?

Probably. But I need my job, so I just let it go. And then I complain on the internet!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:21 pm 
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ashley wrote:
kimba wrote:
Isn't what he is doing illegal?

Probably. But I need my job, so I just let it go. And then I complain on the internet!


Yeah, that sucks. Complain away!


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:31 am 
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My coworker keeps making "jokes" about how bad/dumb/incapable his gf is in math and science. Behind her back to us, his lab mates. Um, she's not even a scientist or mathematician so I don't get where he's going with this other than it's one thing he can Lard over her. I know...it's their relationship and none of my beeswax (not vegan!) but it still really bugs me. Not sure if this is is more sexist or just plain mean and bullying, but it sucks either way.

With all the offensive sex jokes, innuendo, put downs, and skepticism my lab mates express towards women in science, you'd think this was the 1950s and not 2012.

Just an addendum -- this same awesome co-worker referred to his dinner tonight as beef curtains chow mein. Several times. To me, hoping to get a rise. This is in spite of the memo my advisor sent out to the group about sexual harassment in the workplace (per my anonymous request).

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:41 am 
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Beef curtains chow mein? I don't get it.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:53 pm 
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My slightly overweight coworker complaining that her doctor is telling her that she needs to lose some weight to avoid some medical issues (it sounds like it's more because of family health history than just her weight alone), when all the people in the office are "big, gross fatties" who "really need to listen to their own advice."
She said she wasn't going to take any medical advice from someone who isn't skinny, and has started looking for a new doctor. I had to leave the room.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:37 pm 
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Olives wrote:
kilgore trout wrote:
kfad wrote:
The guy downtown who stopped my 15 year old (lesbian) daughter to tell her that she only dresses like she dresses to attract men.

She went off. Informing him that he was part of the problem by telling a woman why she dresses as she dresses. Especially since she would never dress any way to attract something she does not want.

I have to say... sassy kid makes me happy.

Your kid is awesome.

No kidding. I wish more kids were raised to speak up for themselves like that. And, you know, to have some sort of decent feminist analysis. I seem to hear so much slut bashing from teens.


Jumpin' on the kfad's-kid-is-awesome bandwagon here. Also, kfad must be pretty darn awesome, too, to have raised such a conscientious, self-aware, and confident young women. You tell that young lady she is a badass, and all your weird internet friends approve!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 1:59 am 
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My mom. She likes being "helpless". But the problem is that she sees helpless as a gender thing, women are helpless.... Can't do anything practical, does not know even the simplest thing about anything techology. She really is very helpless, but that's just a personality thing you know... because she is, she just assume every woman is.
She even bought a suitcase she cant carry, cause she likes being "haha I cant carry this, will you help me, haha *bashes eyelashes*". And I think it's fine if you're just like that! But to her women are like that, helpless beings.
Way to go.

I witnessed an odd conversation going something like this, I had no idea what to say and do, just woaw.
She bought a cellphone, had a problem with it, blamed the poor salesperson, a guy who had absolutely no fault whatsoever in the issues with the phone.
"I come in here as a woman, you are a man and I am a helpless woman and you take advantage of me because I am a woman and dont know anything about techology"
????
That's just her general approach to life, woman are helpless beings.

Everytime I do even the most simple thing like changing a lightbulb, getting a piece of furniture home myself, change a battery (yes...) she has to comment on wow you are so practical (or something like that...)
I changed a battery, really??!


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Really unfunny, uncool rape joke that you say is pretty uncool and unfunny and then, THEN a bunch of dudebros explain it to you like...oh no, sorry you didn't understand, but it's actually a joke so it's FUNNY. Because if someone means something to be funny and unoffensive, it actually is.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:52 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 10:20 pm 
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My boss offered me the day off tomorrow since I'd "need to get ready for Thanksgiving", but didn't offer the same break to the guys. It was a nice gesture, but I threw me off since he just automatically thought I'd be needed in the kitchen. I hadn't brought up the holiday before at all, so he had no idea what my plans were.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:18 pm 
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I'm not a lawyer, but I work in the legal research field and I am super disappointed at the news that the Law Society of Upper Canada is going to scrap a program specifically created to help female lawyers keep their practices open as they take short maternal leave.

Retention of female lawyers is a huge deal in the profession. More and more women are graduating from law school but consistently have to choose between a traditionally successful career or kids. They are pushed out of big firms for fear once they get pregnant they are gone (and often are) or they must choose smaller boutique firms or solo practice which they are in jeopardy of losing if they take maternal leave. No wonder there are so fewer senior female partners and judges. We've come a long way, baby?! Blergh.

Article here: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/201 ... ml?cmp=rss


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 2:30 pm 
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My base has had over 30 sexual assault cases in the past month or so. Of course some of those may not be valid, but when you consider how many assaults aren't reported, i think its still a shocklngly high number. Someone referred to the path I run as "kinda rapey". Paths aren't rapey, people rape! Also, I should not have to check every shower and bathroom stall to make sure the base creeper isn't hiding in there. I can not believe sexual assault of service members isn't a bigger deal to the general public.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 3:51 pm 
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Invictus wrote:
My base has had over 30 sexual assault cases in the past month or so. Of course some of those may not be valid, but when you consider how many assaults aren't reported, i think its still a shocklngly high number. Someone referred to the path I run as "kinda rapey". Paths aren't rapey, people rape! Also, I should not have to check every shower and bathroom stall to make sure the base creeper isn't hiding in there. I can not believe sexual assault of service members isn't a bigger deal to the general public.


Oh god, that's just awful Invictus! It's a pity the local press aren't involved. I hope you're safe lovely <3 xxx


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:53 pm 
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Aelle - At least the comments on that article affirm the general awesomeness of people!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 5:44 pm 
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Invictus wrote:
My base has had over 30 sexual assault cases in the past month or so. Of course some of those may not be valid, but when you consider how many assaults aren't reported, i think its still a shocklngly high number. Someone referred to the path I run as "kinda rapey". Paths aren't rapey, people rape! Also, I should not have to check every shower and bathroom stall to make sure the base creeper isn't hiding in there. I can not believe sexual assault of service members isn't a bigger deal to the general public.

That's more or less one every day - that's awful. And you are absolutely right, it should be a big deal. I was about to type "stay safe", but you shouldn't have to think about that in your work place - it should be a given.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 9:05 pm 
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This base might have a higher than average rate, I don't know, but this is military-wide. Women in the US military are FAR more likely to be sexually assaulted by a fellow service member than injured in the line of duty. It's just insane.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 7:01 pm 
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Fox News, everyday, but particularly with crepe like this: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 6:10 am 
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alden wrote:
Fox News, everyday, but particularly with crepe like this: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/

Whaaaaaaat?
Suzanne Venker wrote:
Women aren’t women anymore.

[...]

In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

Now the men have nowhere to go.

[...]

It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.

It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.

So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve played to bring about this transformation.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:08 am 
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My brother-in-law could have written that.

He truly believes that the extent of feminism is that women want to subjugate men. And his example is always that he is expected to pay for dates and put out. He tends to forget that he lives in a geographically isolated area that has a culture more aligned with the 50's or at best the 70's and that the culture expects him to do those things, not feminism.

But then, he also believes that there is no racism and that all things start out equally for all people in this country.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:29 am 
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Invictus wrote:
I can not believe sexual assault of service members isn't a bigger deal to the general public.


I can't believe its not a bigger deal to the people in charge.

A friend of mine used to be in the Navy JAG, and he always says he hopes that his son will go to the Navy one day because it was the greatest experience of his life. But he hopes that his daughter won't go because he thinks its too dangerous for women because "well you put a pretty girl in with a thousand horny seamen and what do you expect?"

I hate that the people in charge see sexual assault of service members by other service members is inevitable. We don't condone other crimes, why condone these ones?

Have you seen "The Invisible War?" Also, I thought this piece by Trudeau was really great: http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/ ... story.html

Quote:
If there is a defining theme in all of the testimony in “The Invisible War,” the searing documentary film released this week about military sexual assault, it’s betrayal. An estimated 19,000 rapes and sexual assaults took place in the military last year. Every one of them represents a monstrous crime made much worse by the sense of betrayal that accompanied it. That so few victims — just one in seven — report these crimes underscores the utter lack of trust that pervades military culture.

This should be deeply alarming to the armed services, which have professed a “zero-tolerance” policy for years — but have little to show for it. Trust is critical to any team endeavor, but in the military it can be the difference between life and death. The idea of “having someone’s back” is borrowed from the warrior’s real-life lexicon. Without trust, nothing works in the military. And because it is experience that forms trust, if a soldier’s experience tells her that she will not receive support and justice if she is attacked from within her ranks, she ceases to be an effective team member and suffers overwhelming personal consequences. You have lost that soldier forever. Multiply her by 19,000, and the impact on overall readiness is profound.


I don't know what to say. I want to say "stay safe" but that shouldn't be on your shoulders, though it seems to be. I hope that those in command start making your safety a priority and that servicemen and women who commit crimes be subject to real discipline for their very real crimes.

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