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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 12:54 pm 
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My kids mostly entertained themselves this morning while I spent 45 minutes working on a presentation for one of my classes. I hate doing schoolwork while I'm the only person with them, but despite the huge amounts of time I've been putting in after they go to bed and other times that they're not around, I'm at the point in the semester where there just isn't enough time and I HAD to squeeze this in.

The Emperor pestered me the whole time. He basically stood on my foot (literally) asking me "what are you doing? why is this work boring? why are you doing it if it's boring? what does 'harass' mean? oh, am I harassing you? hey, can i have some leftover pie? can you get me some pie right now? no? can I have a screaming meltdown instead?" That is as close to self-entertaining as E ever gets.

The Magician, meanwhile, really did entertain himself. By pulling literally every last item out of the toy box and every last item out of their play kitchen (which has a TON of dishes etc in it). I came out of the real kitchen (where I was working) and found him sitting in the middle of what can only be described as a dragon hoard of toys, happily inspecting something or other. While I was out here with M? E took the opportunity to empty out two kitchen drawers and part of a cabinet in the real kitchen.

So now that I'm done this schoolwork I didn't want to spend this morning doing, I can go straight to doing housework. Yay! Thanks kids! Argh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:35 pm 
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Z and I had settled into an awesome nap/sleep routine, and if he woke up from a nap, I could put him back to sleep to finish it up. This week he has totally stopped that routine and now refuses to go back to napping after he's slept for about 20-30 minutes. Even though he's still sleepy! Ughhh! So it also takes him a good 15-30 minutes to go down, a few minutes for me to sneak away, and then I can finally make food/play with Iz/whatever. But then he wakes up, and I feel like I have no time to focus on my other kid, who just always wants "Mama-time", and I'm so tired from doing our nap/snuggle routine (it is super relaxing!) so I feel miserable. And the cold my partner had all last week, he has now passed on to me. In time to coincide with Z waking up every hour, on the hour, which he never does. Ever. He also refuses to let anyone else put him to sleep. So I do it, every single night, about three times, until he's finally asleep for the night. I really want a break.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:59 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I spent my day off yesterday, which I had big fun plans for with Malka, repeatedly cleaning up puke. My husband had a per diem gig so I fended for myself and I super suck at being with my baby for 10 hours alone when we don't have outdoor excursions/diversions. We didn't even have meal times as diversions because the kid won't eat. She continued to puke last night so I am at work bleary eyed and non-productive.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:00 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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At least I warn you when I invite you to playdates with a potentially sick baby :)

Tofulish wrote:
Stop being inconsiderate! Between the kids exposed to the pox and leakynosed babies, we really can't go anywhere with non-PPK momfriends

* when I noticed my friend's kid was leaking snot, we left and came home.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 5:53 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Its been really nice not having a sick baby for a while. Honestly, because Brett is immunocompromised, every time Leela gets sick, Brett is sick for at least 2 weeks and our house is pure, unadulterated misery. If I get sick, I'm down for a day, maybe 2, but both L and B are sick for so much longer.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 5:58 pm 
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Tofulish, Brett has RA right? I do too and I'm going on a month of stupid virus that my kids were completely over in like 3 days. Suucccckkkkssss.

My vent is that Silas' phrase of the day has been "I can't even handle anything healthy today! Not one more healthy thing!". Ugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:12 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yes he does. I have so much respect for anyone struggling with RA and the meds they put you on. It does suck. And people often just don't get that a cold is a big deal to us because of it. Heck, even I get frustrated that everything takes so freaking long to get over.

I am so sorry you're sick. A month of sick is the worst. Sending many good thoughts for a quick and complete recovery.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:15 pm 
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No friggin kidding about the RA! Part of my interpreting job this weekend was going with the client to find a doctor, and giving her medical history. This woman has taken a veritable slew of RA meds with ridiculous side effects for 30 years. I had no idea what the drugs entailed.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:58 pm 
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Dear my younger son:

Look, I am glad you are enthusiastic. But guy, you need to master walking before you start to RUN. I'm not using this as a parable. You have wiped out about half a dozen times in the past 2 days, including one bang that left a big old bruise, because you have realized just how fast you can go if you put your mind to it. It's not great. Slow down!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:06 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Yes he does. I have so much respect for anyone struggling with RA and the meds they put you on. It does suck. And people often just don't get that a cold is a big deal to us because of it. Heck, even I get frustrated that everything takes so freaking long to get over.

I am so sorry you're sick. A month of sick is the worst. Sending many good thoughts for a quick and complete recovery.



Thanks. I'm lucky in that I am able to manage without medications at this point, my doctor seemed to think that my diet had something to do with this, but who knows. I was vegan before I was diagnosed and since I am not working, I am just able to adjust my activity level to my pain level, which is a lifesaver.

I know it has to be rough to have your co-parent unable to handle things sometimes because I feel horrible when my husband has to do way more than his share. Definitely sucks to be on your side of RA as well!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:41 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Brett is pretty great at not letting me see how tough it is, for good or for ill. His initial outbreak was terrible - 3 months of not being able to move without pain - I've never seen anything like that. It seems to have been triggered by a reaction to medication. But since then he has been trying to wean himself off the methyltrexate and he doesn't seem too limited, which is great. Just that healing from any colds etc seems to take forever. Seriously I am sick for a day he is sick for a month. Which is compounded because he doesn't feel like he has time to just heal, because he works for himself. And it can't be easy to have a really physical job moving furniture etc all day long.

I don't remember to cut him slack often enough and he doesn't ask for it. Thank you for the reminder. <3

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:43 pm 
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coldandsleepy wrote:
Dear my younger son:

Look, I am glad you are enthusiastic. But guy, you need to master walking before you start to RUN. I'm not using this as a parable. You have wiped out about half a dozen times in the past 2 days, including one bang that left a big old bruise, because you have realized just how fast you can go if you put your mind to it. It's not great. Slow down!


HOW IS HE RUNNING? HE IS JUST A TINY LITTLE BABY!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 11:08 pm 
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It is really crazy. I think it's not helping me be okay with him being my last baby... I feel like I didn't get to E being a little baby because of the PPD, and I didn't get to enjoy having a little baby with M because he was never a little baby.

I would probably not mind it so much but this is his pattern with any new skill! He's like "I know how to do something new! I will do nothing else 24/7 despite the fact that I keep causing myself bodily harm." Probably in a week he'll have it mastered and never fall while running again. That seems to be his style.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 11:46 am 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Seriously, the magician ... one forking amazing kid! Guess he figured he had to Keep up with E!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:52 pm 
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Why is it that every time i do something nice for FC, like buy her a new bathing suit for this school outing next week (which is WAY more revealing than i'd prefer), she has to be a jerk for the rest of the evening? if i don't do anything nice, she's a sweet kid. THIS MAKES NO SENSE

(also, our present scheme for this Christmas is going to bring me a month of woe, apparently, since it's an advent calendar with little trinkets all month long. i can only imagine how December is going to be.)

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I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 12:09 pm 
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torque wrote:
Why is it that every time i do something nice for FC, like buy her a new bathing suit for this school outing next week (which is WAY more revealing than i'd prefer), she has to be a jerk for the rest of the evening? if i don't do anything nice, she's a sweet kid. THIS MAKES NO SENSE

(also, our present scheme for this Christmas is going to bring me a month of woe, apparently, since it's an advent calendar with little trinkets all month long. i can only imagine how December is going to be.)



dude, same pattern with my 3 year old. when i am strict, boring mommy from beginning to end, i get a much pleasanter child than when i try to do something "fun" or "special". it sucks.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 2:29 pm 
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It's true! What I love is that any special treat is automatically transformed (in their minds) into an entitlement.

When I bend a rule or let something slide, I am always explicit: Yes, you can do X this time, but that doesn't change the rule. It doesn't mean things will work like this tomorrow.

All the lawyering is exhausting.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 2:57 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
It's true! What I love is that any special treat is automatically transformed (in their minds) into an entitlement.

When I bend a rule or let something slide, I am always explicit: Yes, you can do X this time, but that doesn't change the rule. It doesn't mean things will work like this tomorrow.

All the lawyering is exhausting.


And it never seems to stop. I made a deal with shorty that I would pick her up one day a week. Friday so that she can bring her trombone home to practice over the weekend. This has become a call at least three other days a week asking for a ride.

(Also, shorty is very short... her trombone is bigger than she is. And she is 12)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 5:58 pm 
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FootFace wrote:

All the lawyering is exhausting.


This is basically how I spent the day with Silas. Talking my way out of all the traps he sets. Such a little charmer/scammer he has become.

Shae will bust him and say "That's not the rule. You can't scam a scammer". And Silas thinks its the funniest thing. I do not.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 6:32 pm 
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Dear all my kids,
What is with the asking the same question over and over and over?
My 12 year old asks me almost daily "What's your favorite color?"
The big one walked into the living room 4 times today to ask me what was going on today.
Good grief. It is a lie that that grow out of that. A big fat lie.

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Don't mind my breasts and vagina, I'm a gay man.---Idatetatooedguys.

"Tots: the universal food band-aid... better than a mother's kiss. Healin' wounds since 1954." Meggs


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2012 6:41 pm 
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FootFace wrote:
When I bend a rule or let something slide, I am always explicit: Yes, you can do X this time, but that doesn't change the rule. It doesn't mean things will work like this tomorrow.


That is a good idea. I am going to steal that. I'm a little dismayed to hear that this is going to continue forever.

E's not so bad about it, except when he is. Varying his routines (such as at bedtime) seems to be more problematic for him than things that are outside of the scope of his normal routine (getting to share a vegan cookie while we're out on a day trip or something). Alter his routine one time and chances are, he will flip out at the time, AND then the next oh, 30 or 40 times you do the routine, he'll be like "no we're supposed to be doing [thing I had a total freakout about previously]."

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:12 pm 
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I mentioned to my mother, whom is in Mexico on vacation, that Miles needs a pair of winter boots in a bad way and that I was going to take him to some stores over the weekend to try on some pairs. She emails me today, still in Mexico, that she ordered two pairs of boots for him from Zulily. 1. They are girl boots, both pairs. 2. One pair of them has a 1 inch heel. 3. They are leather. 4. THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY forking GIRL BOOTS.*** 5. You can't return items to zulily. I nicely mentioned all these things too her, minus the leather part because she will never ever get it. She says she didn't know that they were girl boots because the site didn't say so...it's so obvious. Whats wrong with him wearing girl boots? and....the 1 inch heel will make him taller. He's 1 1/2 years old and already tall he doesn't need to be taller or wearing a heel! No 1 year old should be! You are on vacation lady...this shiitake actually ruined my day and I've been fuming about it all day now.

I just wish she would stop doing this and she never will. I feel she should know by now that I'm very particular. She would buy me clothes when I was a little girl without my approval, I would refuse to wear them and she would get angry. Stop buying stuff without my approval then! Reno is very particular about what she wears and I know that and will not just randomly buy her clothes without her ok because it is a waste of money. I wish she would do the same. This is all made worse by the fact that my mother is the one person in the whole world who I can't say what I really think about all of this. Plus she lives below us in a 2 family house which would make her reaction to my truthfulness about this even more horrific. So now my son has to wear these hideous girl boots.

I needed this vent in a bad bad way. Thanks.


***I'm cool with boys and girls wearing opposite sex clothing but I'm particular about what clothes my kids wear and these boots aren't them.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:17 pm 
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Dude. The boots can get lost, broken, um run over by the car...lots of ways they can disappear from your life. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:24 pm 
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If you can't return them, would you be interested in donating? We are taking kids clothes and toys to the welfare office in Jersey City on Wednesday and I can pick them up from you. Winter boots are really expensive and so many of the people we are donating to can't afford them.

It was just so sad that poor Miles outgrew them before she came back from vacay :)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:34 pm 
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Awakened at 7:45 this morning—too early for a Saturday—by a bored 10-year-old. Who wasn't going to be satisfied until we knew (several times over) how unhappy he was. Who insisted (and routinely insists) that it's our job to fix his boredom. Who really didn't want to do anything other than play on the computer anyway.

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