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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:01 pm 
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Thank you Starrynight!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:23 pm 
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Wallace - you aren't driving home after drinking, are you? I'm not trying to judge or anything. It would just really suck if you were to get in an accident.

Good on you for realizing you have a problem and deciding to change. Best of luck!

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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 4:22 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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Wallace..... at least now you're conscious of how much it's costing you, and maybe that will motivate you to make changes. No point in beating yourself up about it though. Hang in there and let us know how the gym is!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:50 am 
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Jiggly - no, thank gawd. Torque - will do! Going tonight after work, can't wait!!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:59 am 
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I'm a huge supporter of AA and like Fee said, the god thing can be different for everyone. It just takes people some time to find a group they feel safe in. Alternately, there is SMART Recovery which is smaller and more CBT based and not focused on god. Best to you on this journey!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:13 am 
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I am a huge supporter of AA and Al-Anon, and agree with Meggs, that you really just have to be patient and find the right group for you. They have young people's groups, for example, which also have great fun events associated - so you do end up with a support system of others like you who offer fun non-alcohol related events.

For me, it helps to not think of God as some white bearded divinity, but as surrendering to the flow of life. My friends in AA are not religious at all, and that was their advice. So you're definitely not alone in not being religious.

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 7:58 pm 
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Thanks Meggs and Tofulish. I've had so many negative experiences with organized religion (I was brough up Church of England/Episcopalian) that I just shut down when it comes up. I like the flow of life vision though, and it's definitely what I tried to focus on in the Al-Anon meetings, but it was a pretty strongly religious group in hindsight. If I find this tough I'll make a few calls and try some other groups as suggested.

In other news... I WENT TO THE GYM! 45 minutes of cardio! Bloody hell I'm unfit :) But I'd forgotten how fab it feels!

I'm so freakin excited to be moving out of this rut!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:17 pm 
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Congrats on your first night at the gym! I hope it helps you make the change.

I hate to say it but, I really love drinking. I don't drink hard liquor often, but I fully, entirely enjoy drinking beer, wine and cider. If I have booze in the house, I drink it. We really don't have the money to drink regularly, but I am completely certain that if I had more money than I knew what to do with I would be an alcoholic. What makes things completely horrible is that my mom is a full blown alcoholic and I hate what her addiction did to my life and hers.

I went through a phase where I was drinking way, way too much. I worked at a wine store at the time. Hard not to be a lush when you're bringing home booze all the time.

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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:37 pm 
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Gads, that's rough Moon, I'm sorry.

Props to you on the cutting back - how did you do it?


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:40 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Wallace22 wrote:
Thanks Meggs and Tofulish. I've had so many negative experiences with organized religion (I was brough up Church of England/Episcopalian) that I just shut down when it comes up. I like the flow of life vision though, and it's definitely what I tried to focus on in the Al-Anon meetings, but it was a pretty strongly religious group in hindsight. If I find this tough I'll make a few calls and try some other groups as suggested.


I couldn't find one for CC, but in NY/NJ/CT you can search for groups that are agnostic:
http://www.nyintergroup.org/meetinglist ... borough=NJ

Here is what I found for CC: http://www.aacapecod.org/meeting_search.php

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But on a cold winter night, when the wind whispers through the trees and a bright, white moon hangs heavy in the air, you might hear a sad cry like someone thinking he knows what's best for you, and that'll be the white man a-passin' you by. just mumbles


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:47 pm 
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Wallace22 wrote:
Gads, that's rough Moon, I'm sorry.

Props to you on the cutting back - how did you do it?


I stopped working at the wine store and ran a dog daycare making me too exhausted to do any significant drinking in the evening!! But even prior to that I cut down because I was blacking out weekly and being at least moderately hung over regularly, and I really freaked myself out thinking I was turning in to my mother.

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Anyone for some German Shepherd Pie? - daisychain
Well! Fruit is stupid! These onions taste nothing like fruit! - allularpunk
Dwarf-tossing for God: A Story of Hope - Invictus


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:52 pm 
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oof, that'll do it.
My big fear is/was turning into my stbx-husband. Fear is an excellent motivator...
Also - yay dogs!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:54 pm 
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Thanks for the links Tofulish!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:34 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
For me, it helps to not think of God as some white bearded divinity, but as surrendering to the flow of life. My friends in AA are not religious at all, and that was their advice. So you're definitely not alone in not being religious.
Samesies. Took some time for me to get there, but I'm so happy with my spiritual journey at this time. My AA friends are rad and helpful with this stuff.

Wallace, I can try to reach out to some friends that I have who are in recovery in CT; they may know people in your area, if you'd like at some point. Just let me know. Or if you want any support/help with understanding 12-Step.

Also, here is the site for SMART recovery: http://www.smartrecovery.org (it's not as wide-spread as AA, so it's sometimes difficult to find a group, but my clients who have difficulty with "the god thing" in AA/NA have found SMART helpful.)

Congrats on the work out!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:19 am 
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Wallace, I don't want to sound creepy, since I don't know where on the cape you are, and really, i'm not a creepy stalker, i just used to spend lots and lots of time on the cape so know it a little....
not sure how far you are from ptown but their AA is held in a UU church if i recall. And i can't believe that anything in ptown would be heavy on the patriarchically oppressive religion. might be worth the drive from wherever you are (for all i know you're in ptown anyway). other parts of the cape i would imagine it might be more catholic heavy.

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I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:13 pm 
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LOL Torque, creepy stalker you are not! I work in Ptown and there are hundreds of meetings a week - literally! I think it speaks volumes for us as a self-aware, progressive little community!

So far so good over here though. My stbx is making me grind my teeth and get a bit stabby but it's made me think about going and pounding the treadmill instead of a drink :)


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 5:03 am 
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good for you!!!! now keep it up! (i love ptown and miss it so much!!)

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Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 6:17 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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how you doing? i wanted to report that i've been cutting it down/cutting it out lately as well..... got all the booze out of the house, and had a few weeks without it. i think i've gained a significant amount of weight this year from drinking, and i'm looking forward to getting rid of it. this summer, it's a lot of iced tea....
anyway, this weekend i went to a function with people that used to be drinking buddies- we haven't really been getting together for a year or two. i brought beer for myself but drank maybe half of what i used to, trying to very carefully stay sober (there were kids and pools there) and avoid the barfing hangover, which seems to be the bane of my existence since i turned 35..... it was kind of shocking to realize that, even so, i drank so much and was still sober- that i could have drunk so much more, easily, if i just wasn't thinking about it. scary stuff.


ETA: my challenge is that people keep giving me beer. Someone gave me 10 liters of beer right before i started this challenge, which was a bisque, and then this weekend a case of Stella appeared at the shop. I brought it to the party. And I am supposed to buy someone's beer making equipment in January.

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Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:04 am 
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Hi Torque! Congrats!!! And wow, talk about generous friends ;)

It's been going really well, I've cut down massively just by keeping busy with work/gym/friends and not going to the pub. I've never been one to drink at home, would much rather have endless tea instead. When I got cabin fevered over the weekend I went to the coffee shop and treated myself to a latte.

One the one occasion I did hit the bar for trivia night I had two glasses of a really nice red wine over 5 hours and lots of selzer with pineapple. Waaaaay less than usual! An Irish coffee with lunch and a mulled wine at a work event, and that's it! So, basically, I've had the same in a couple of weeks that I would normally have in a day. Crazy...

I was a miserable git for the first week or so, but I think that had more to do with the usual holiday blahs than anything else. I'm sleeping better, I've got a ton more focus at work, and I feel generally less icky all round. And I've spent virtually nothing, except on food. And Christmas pressies.

I've got you and the rest of the posters here to thank for this - your collective words of wisdom, support and advice, and the links to various orgs and groups. I've done a ton of reading and learning and thinking and for once I'm feeling really good about where I am and what I'm doing.

Thank you PPK! XXXX

Go git 'em Torque!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:33 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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good for you wallace!! what a nice feeling, amirite? keep it up.

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Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
I'm just a drunk who likes fruit. -- Desdemona


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:37 am 
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It's AWESOME! Now come on up to Ptown and we'll toast our success with coconut water!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:30 am 
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Wallace, I am so glad for you! Keep up the awesome work.

The guy and I have decided to do Dry January as of Jan 2. We only drink at the weekends, but it seems as if it's been every weekend and I want us to have fun without alcohol. We're also going to try to cut any unnecessary expenditures that month, so it's been nicknamed "Fiscal Cliff January".


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:10 pm 
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Calls "cavemen" on that
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I too am cutting out the sauce, at least in social situations. Don't want to go into too much detail on a public forum, but it's needs to be done.

My partner is in the music business. We go to lots of clubs/shows/bars. Everything is comped. It's gonna be really really hard. Especially New Years.


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:05 pm 
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Good luck Chicki! And don't be too hard on yourself if you slip.

I got a lot from this link from Walrus - http://www.moderation.org/natlf2f.shtml - def worth a look.


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 Post subject: Re: Cutting down/out the booze
PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:24 pm 
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Calls "cavemen" on that
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Thanks for the link :)

I already turned down a happy hour. Everyone is convinced that I am pregnant. sigh.

My partner says he will help me moderate myself, so that is good. But he is a bit of an enabler, so we will see.


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