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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 7:14 pm 
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Lime and a Coconut
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I usually send out emails that are no more than three sentences, because I have run into this problem so often. Problem is, three sentences is still too long for some folks :/

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 7:20 pm 
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Yes, because playing 8 hours of Farmville is a lot more important than reading your colleague's emails.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:20 pm 
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Hey, tofulish, it's bejeweled. Way classier.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:22 pm 
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Remembers When Veganism Was Cool
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On a similar note, I've been sending emails out with people's user names and passwords so they could test a new system we're going to have in place early next year, and also attached walk-through instructions for the testing. My e-mail

1) thanked them for agreeing to test

2) Your user name is XXX123
your password is yyy456

3) Please read the attached walk through on how to test on the agreed date at the agreed time.

4) if you have any questions please call me.

Of the people who called me, it seems most of them hadn't read beyond step 1 (or rather had skipped straight to step 4). Also, one of them said she'd printed out my e-mail but "of course" not the attachment, then she'd deleted my e-mail. I think this is a hangover from when we had ridiculously small storage space on our old e-mail system which got changed 18 months ago, as she's not the first person I've known to delete e-mails they really still needed the information from, but it's totally infuriating!

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Lime and a Coconut
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dropscone wrote:
Of the people who called me, it seems most of them hadn't read beyond step 1 (or rather had skipped straight to step 4).


Oh man, this sounds like my ex's job. He does online tech support for webcasts. It's unbelievable how many times he is contacted by insanely irate 'customers' screeching that they can't hear the webcast- who then hang up without so much as a 'thank you' when he asks "are you sure your speakers are turned on?"

That is, unless they respond "I need speakers to be able to listen to this?"

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:46 pm 
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My current favorite client is the one who told us yesterday, with a straight face, that she had no credit card debt. She has over $12,000 on 7 cards. She's making the payments, so it's not like she's somehow unaware of it. Lady, we're going to pull your credit; it doesn't do you any good to fib on your loan application!

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:17 pm 
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Gentleman in my office telling me how severe his knee condition is.
Client: "yeah, it is so bad that if I get down on the floor to do something I can't get back up. Let me show you."
Me" "No sir, that is not necessary. You don't need to show me."
Client: "Yeah, let me show you." Gets out of chair.
Me: "No sir, I am not allowed to help you back up if you get down on the floor."
Client: "It is really bad. If I get on the floor there is no way I can get back up without help." Starts to kneel on floor.
Me: "Sir, I will not be allowed to help you back up off the floor so please do not sit on the floor."
Client: Sits down on floor. Scrabbles around. "See, I can't get up."
Me: "I see."
Client: "I can't get up now. Give me a hand."
Me: "As I explained previously I am not allowed to assist you off the floor. I will need to have the "lift team" come in to help you up."
Client: "No, all I need is a hand up."
Me: Internal sigh. "According to policy we need to have the specially trained personnel come and help you off the floor." I call the team.
Client: "This is so stupid. How long will they take. I am getting cold here on the floor." After a few minutes of complaining he gets up and sits in chair.

Thanks for that. I don't have a schedule to keep or anything.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:38 pm 
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Whooooaaaaa... what kind of place do you work at by the way?

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:43 pm 
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We do medical examinations for disability claims.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:00 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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annasrobbie wrote:
Gentleman in my office telling me how severe his knee condition is.
Client: "yeah, it is so bad that if I get down on the floor to do something I can't get back up. Let me show you."
Me" "No sir, that is not necessary. You don't need to show me."
Client: "Yeah, let me show you." Gets out of chair.
Me: "No sir, I am not allowed to help you back up if you get down on the floor."
Client: "It is really bad. If I get on the floor there is no way I can get back up without help." Starts to kneel on floor.
Me: "Sir, I will not be allowed to help you back up off the floor so please do not sit on the floor."
Client: Sits down on floor. Scrabbles around. "See, I can't get up."
Me: "I see."
Client: "I can't get up now. Give me a hand."
Me: "As I explained previously I am not allowed to assist you off the floor. I will need to have the "lift team" come in to help you up."
Client: "No, all I need is a hand up."
Me: Internal sigh. "According to policy we need to have the specially trained personnel come and help you off the floor." I call the team.
Client: "This is so stupid. How long will they take. I am getting cold here on the floor." After a few minutes of complaining he gets up and sits in chair.

Thanks for that. I don't have a schedule to keep or anything.



That just made me L O L at work because I can totally imagine the kind of person doing that!


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:14 pm 
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annasrobbie wrote:
We do medical examinations for disability claims.

Yikes! I have to admit I was sorta hoping it would be something like 'department store' or something.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:37 pm 
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Mars wrote:
annasrobbie wrote:
We do medical examinations for disability claims.

Yikes! I have to admit I was sorta hoping it would be something like 'department store' or something.

I had to laught at that, I can just imagine some beefy stock guys and a pallet jack as the "lift team" having to help someone up in the mall.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:43 pm 
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Liz_D wrote:
Mars wrote:
annasrobbie wrote:
We do medical examinations for disability claims.

Yikes! I have to admit I was sorta hoping it would be something like 'department store' or something.

I had to laught at that, I can just imagine some beefy stock guys and a pallet jack as the "lift team" having to help someone up in the mall.


I like that image too - the ice rink might do well to have a lift team also :)


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:27 pm 
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People who ignore our repeated warnings/citations not to let their dog run loose and continue to do it and their dog gets run over and killed.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 1:54 pm 
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Yikes!

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 2:46 pm 
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raspberrycomplaint wrote:
People who ignore our repeated warnings/citations not to let their dog run loose and continue to do it and their dog gets run over and killed.

I work at a vets office and people that let their dogs off leash drive me crazy... totally unsafe.
One of the Dr.'s I work for had to have a talk w/ a client yesterday because their dog has gained too much weight since its last visit. As soon as they got off the phone, the client calls back and says to me (I'm the receptionist): "I just talked to the Dr. and she told me that I have to cut back on my dogs food and quit giving her so many treats but can I still give her ice cream"?
Really, lady???
When I told her no more ice cream, she started crying.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:20 pm 
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BetsyBoo wrote:
raspberrycomplaint wrote:
People who ignore our repeated warnings/citations not to let their dog run loose and continue to do it and their dog gets run over and killed.

I work at a vets office and people that let their dogs off leash drive me crazy... totally unsafe.
One of the Dr.'s I work for had to have a talk w/ a client yesterday because their dog has gained too much weight since its last visit. As soon as they got off the phone, the client calls back and says to me (I'm the receptionist): "I just talked to the Dr. and she told me that I have to cut back on my dogs food and quit giving her so many treats but can I still give her ice cream"?
Really, lady???
When I told her no more ice cream, she started crying.


I can't believe people would have their dog off leash at a vets office.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:21 pm 
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Caller: *indistinguishable*
Me: I'm sorry, we must have a bad connection, it sounds like there is another line on this call? I hear someone else talking over you, can you repeat that?
Caller: No, it's not the line, it's just the stupid captain on this plane I'm on. He's done talking now.

Thankfully I determined the flight was still boarding, but... really, the captain is the stupid one?

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:46 pm 
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A customer just prank called me... sort of. I mean he was calling for a real reason, but when I answered the phone he said, "This is Domino's Pizza. I have an order for a pepperoni pizza for Kirstin but I need the delivery address." I was just like "Whuuuuut?" Now if this was a customer that I'd ever spoken to before and had a rapport with, sure, whatever... funny funny haha. But I have exchanged two perfunctory emails with this guy and never spoken to him. So that was weird.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 10:18 am 
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Some of you already know about this one, but for those who don't...

Our patrons receive automated emails when their items are overdue. One woman replied to the message (I seriously didn't know people replied to these things) and said "I'll return it when I'm ready, OK?!"


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:11 pm 
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bastah wrote:
Some of you already know about this one, but for those who don't...

Our patrons receive automated emails when their items are overdue. One woman replied to the message (I seriously didn't know people replied to these things) and said "I'll return it when I'm ready, OK?!"


I can't stop laughing at this one!

This story reminds me of when I worked for the SF office of No on 8 (the campaign to save gay marriage in California), and our system was sending out daily and weekly email blasts to raise awareness and funds. The movie Milk had just come out, and obviously it was a huge tie-in to our campaign, so we used language about honoring Harvey Milk's legacy and memory by supporting marriage equality. One woman wrote back (I automatically got all the general inquiry emails from the website) completely irate that we had 'spoiled' the ending of Milk for her. As if it wasn't history.

I felt really bad that I had to spoil the ending of The Passion of the Christ for her, too.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 12:22 pm 
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Don't tell me what happens in The Passion of the Christ; I still haven't seen it.

ETA: bastah, I keep reading that in a Napoleon Dynamite voice--I'll return it when I feel like it! Gosh!

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:37 pm 
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Erika Soyf*cker wrote:
bastah wrote:
Some of you already know about this one, but for those who don't...

Our patrons receive automated emails when their items are overdue. One woman replied to the message (I seriously didn't know people replied to these things) and said "I'll return it when I'm ready, OK?!"


I can't stop laughing at this one!

This story reminds me of when I worked for the SF office of No on 8 (the campaign to save gay marriage in California), and our system was sending out daily and weekly email blasts to raise awareness and funds. The movie Milk had just come out, and obviously it was a huge tie-in to our campaign, so we used language about honoring Harvey Milk's legacy and memory by supporting marriage equality. One woman wrote back (I automatically got all the general inquiry emails from the website) completely irate that we had 'spoiled' the ending of Milk for her. As if it wasn't history.

I felt really bad that I had to spoil the ending of The Passion of the Christ for her, too.

Hahahahaha! That reminds me that I think someone was upset that what the Tudors was leading up to was spoiled for her.


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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:21 pm 
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You know when people talk to you in one word syllables, with barely contained contempt for you? That is no fun.

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 Post subject: Re: Very Special Customers/Clients
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:40 pm 
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bastah wrote:
Some of you already know about this one, but for those who don't...

Our patrons receive automated emails when their items are overdue. One woman replied to the message (I seriously didn't know people replied to these things) and said "I'll return it when I'm ready, OK?!"

I have a patron who replies to every single notice he gets. He is so happy when his requests arrive.

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