Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Aww, it's okay!
Actually, I'll whine a little myself and put it back on track.
So, the girl I've been talking to pretty regularly for a few weeks now, who friended me on fb, who is super cool and awesome and SO FORKING ADORABLE HOMAGHAY was going to come to my town and we were going to go to Rocky Horror this weekend, but then she realized she couldn't because her paycheck was way smaller than expected and he has responsible-things she needs to buy instead of an excursion.
D:
And some of the things I had to do this weekend have been cancelled, so I've asked whether I should go there since it's somewhere on the things-I-could-do spectrum, despite her living in the same town/going to the same college as my somewhat-not-over-me ex. She hasn't replied yet.
Ugh, this is frustrating. I really want to meet her in person! And preferably before I drop all reliable contact and skip out of the country for a month. *sigh*

That's some shitty timing.

I tried my luck with online dating last year. Chico is way too small, so one day I was approached by someone who asked me if I was on plentyoffish.com. :embarrased:

Also, that link looks like it says "plenty off ish".

I was messaging this girl and she was sending me tons of mail and stuff so then we made vague plans to hang out after thanksgiving. However right after thanksgiving I went camping in the white mountains for 4 days and when I got back I texted her as planned and then didn't hear back from her until 2 days ago saying she was busy with finals. I hate how some people can be all about you then everything sort of just fizzles when it comes down to brass tacks. Also got harassed by some dude who sent me a message asking if I like guys even just a "little bit" (my profile is set to gay) I told him to stop messaging gay girls and he called me a psychopath. An interesting twist is that he's in a hetero poly relationship and his partner had already messaged me a few months ago and she wasn't quite my cup of tea either. In real life news my ex boyfriend is trying to get back with me which I think may be the worst idea ever as all my friends think he's bad news and treats me poorly and they probably have a pretty good perspective on the situation. I've got a few other possible love leads but nothing that is totally blowing me away. I don't know if you guys read the crush thread but the cyclist dude? We've been hanging out, nothing has happened though.

I stop using pof years ago because I thought the website was too ugly!

Ha! Stupid ugly websites.

i feel a bit snobby for not using it for that reason, but maybe i should give it another go okcupid hasn't been doing much for me.

THIS

One thing I've realized is that okc/dating profiles are a lot likes resumes. And the purpose of a resume isn't to get a job, it's to get an interview.

The whole purpose of your dating profile should be to get a date, the other person can learn about the details in that process.

So the whole point of your profile should be to sell yourself and make you stand out in the very large crowd that is internet dating.

Plus I think people are going to assume you have baggage anyway. I think it is better to point out the positives, things you like, things you can connect on, etc. They'll find out about you in the process and they'll see if the 'baggage' is acceptable to them or not. I do have to say that I ruined many relationships with my low self esteem and the real difference with dating my husband is I tried my best (it is HARD) to not let my low self esteem get in the way. He loved me despite all my crazy imperfections and quirks.

And dating takes work, relationships take work. There is a bit of give and take. If you put yourself out there like "I'm such a loser" then it sounds like you are not willing to put in the work. Also, cliche as it is but you really need to work on loving yourself before anyone can love you. And I really mean work on it.

how can i scent mine with perfume if it is trapped in a computer?!

quads work fine

Finally sent a message to the boy I've been creeping on all week. We'll see if I get a response! If not, oh well. If so, hooray? I need to send more messages.

^^ That's exciting! I think sometimes it's good just to get yourself out there, practice talking to people, and learn more about what you want & don't want.

After having felt so much "meh" for a while in regards to messaging people and people messaging me, I currently seem to be dating TWO pretty cool guys! One I went out with on Friday as a first date and that was fun; I think we got along in quite a few areas. The other I saw tonight for a second date. He is VEGAN-- my first time dating a non-omni!!-- and he's very sweet and we had a good time. Not sure if there's anything romantic there. He was just getting over a cold and I'm just starting to get a bad sore throat, so I think that's why things didn't go there. Also, I'm kinda shy when it comes to those things and I sensed he was too... But yay dates!!

I made an OK Cupid profile tonight and I'm already a little disenchanted. Everyone's profiles are filled with these stupid platitudes like "I'm a pretty laid back person." It's impossible to get a sense of what people are like from this site. I'd much prefer a place where people were radically honest and presented their baggage up front.

/rant

Maybe it's true.

I'm plenty neurotic and have plenty of baggage, and can have drama queen tendencies, but overall I am actually pretty laid back. My students always comment on now I'm laid back about a lot of stuff. Except turning in assignments on ripped out notebook paper. They always ask why that bothers me when other stuff doesn't.

You can be a mess and still not give a fork about trivial crepe.

I really hate to break this to you, but welcome to the vast majority of humanity?

no one is going to introduce themselves to you as a bad decision!

WORD lwitch, I am a neurotic mess of a human being but people describe me as calm and relaxed a lot.

yeah most of the profiles are like that, but every now and then there are some interesting ones. anyone care to critique my profile? it's eggcrafts.

Do ripped paper edges bug the shiitake out of you too? Have some pride in your work, people!

YES, also unbalanced margins, deckle on top, non-archival pens, and unflattened prints.

<3

I love you so hard for this.

As an archivist, I say no pens in the archives! Just make sure everything you create is archival quality. I will preserve it for you and the ages!

You're right, obviously. I just wish people could be more upfront about this kind of stuff. Why not put our cards on the table and see if our baggage is compatible? It would make my life a lot easier at least.

You're not leaving room for people's life experiences. I would be put off with someone making their mental health problems the biggest part of them in a profile. I spent 13 years living with someone with mental health and addiction problems. If those were the first things I read about someone I'd never met, my brain (and heart) would immediately to into self-protection mode. I suffer from two neurological diseases that can leave me incapacitated at times, it's not the first thing I tell people about myself, because it has enough of an impact on my life without me making it the main description of me as a person. I am a warm, compassionate, funny, intelligent, creative and feisty woman who just happens to have these challenges in her life. I don't hide it from people, sometimes I tell them in emails before we meet or after we've met. It's never been a barrier to me meeting people because I don't make it the first thought people have about me.