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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:08 pm 
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Thanks for the nap input! He's almost 2 1/2, and I don't think he really is done needing a nap - he definitely acts exhausted, he just refuses to go to sleep. He has ended up napping 2 out of the 4 days (alternating nap/no nap) since I posted that, and I'm going to try and put him down in just a little while (he usually goes down around 1:30... when he naps, that is). We'll see how it goes.

I have some good news, though! I don't know if it's just because he hasn't been napping, or what, but last night a miracle happened. I real, true, Festivus Miracle! He slept from 8:45pm - 7:45am. Without waking up or nursing. WHAT.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:18 am 
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How do you people not getting regular sleep do it?

We had a 2 hour midnight playdate and I am messed up.

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:06 pm 
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OMG! Grey slept all night! 10 glorious hours!!!!

He went to bed at 6:30 and woke up at 4:30. Amazing. Yes, I had to get up at 4:30, whatever, he slept. I am so excited! Perhaps night weaning is the best thing we have ever done!

And tofulish, I think the thing is we all have different challenges and no matter what, you just keep going cause there is nothing else you can do. I also think things started getting better for me, mentally, when I stopped thinking about how little sleep I was getting.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:47 pm 
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^5 lb! Here's hoping it's the start of good sleep times ahead.

Trying to put it out of your mind helps here too. At 4:30 this morning, when she's been awake most of the night and now is wanting to nurse 100% of the time, it's mother forking hard. During the day, I'm really tired sometimes, but we have a lot of fun. Also, we *have* to get outside each day.

Still dilly dallying on nightweaning here...I think we'll get there, but still trying to get her to sleep all night in the crib, including wakes.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 4:22 pm 
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This is what we did. First of all I think every baby is different and something different works for all of them and all of us. We tried cry it out once and it was so hard for all of us that we decided not to do that. At 16 months greys doctor basically said that she felt he needed to be sleeping through the night, she wanted us to do CIO, and she suggested having Nate take on night duty. Well, we are slow on the uptake. We first had Nate out grey to bed with a bottle, but once grey woke up, I went in.of course that led to nursing the rest of the night. (Grey sleeps in a full sized bed, he hates cribs so, so much). Since that wasn't really working, Nate took over night duty and at first he would give grey a bottle, then we decided no bottle. Nw I feel like an idiot cause it has only been maybe 10 days of that and last night he slept. Of course, I am sure he will wake up 40 times tonight... So, basically for us what worked is having Nate be the one to out him back to sleep with no crutch.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:01 pm 
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How much is too much sleep?

Kai woke up every 2 hours for the first year, but now at 2 years old he is turning into Super Sleeper. Like he is perfectly happy to go to bed at 8:30ish every night, even asks for his sleep sack and bed and goes right down. Then he sleeps through the night, lately until 6:30AM when he hears me get up. This weekend he slept until about 8:20am yesterday, and around the same time this morning, again only when he heard me wake up. He woke up once or twice before that and said 'daddy' a couple times, but then went right back to sleep.

He also takes naps in the afternoon, usually only during the week with his babysitter though because he is too excited with us on the weekends. But he will sleep if we go somewhere in the car and still go to bed at 8:30.

It is great but I'm a little worried because I have a sleep disorder -ideopathic hypersomnia, ie they've never been able to figure out exactly why I'm so sleepy, even though I've had numerous specialists give me many tests. All through school I fell asleep in almost every class, and even now with a pretty important job I still fall asleep in meetings. I've made it this far, but it has always been really embarrassing and a total drag so I really don't want him to have it, but I know it is genetic so I'm worried.

How much do other kids sleep? Is it normal to sleep this long?

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:12 pm 
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http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/links/ ... ooklet.pdf

If you scroll down to page five on that link there is a chart of average sleep hours by age. That's what I've been using as a guide for my goals with babynut.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:25 pm 
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Oh good. PHEW! It says 11 - 12 hours is normal for 2 years old. Thank you!!

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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:53 pm 
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Aubade, Dahlia had a similar sleep pattern from like age 2 to 3. I thought it was quite amazing! She just needed a lot of sleep, and she would actually ask to go to bed at night at exactly the same time always - quite an internal clock! She's still pretty good but I'd say 3 days out of 7 doesn't actually sleep when she "goes to naptime" nowadays which is a drag for Howard but still not bad because she knows she has to stay in her room.

I'm staunchly adopting a "this will pass and I love snuggling with her" attitude about Sierra waking up every 3 hours, but some days I'm just a WRECK in the morning. It's such a struggle to not drink more than one cup of coffee because I want a second SO BAD.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:08 pm 
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@lb...did Grey freak out without the boobies the first few nights?

K is up with Freya now for our second freakout in like an hour and 40 minutes. I *know* she wanted me to come up this time and nurse her, but she settled fairly well near as I can tell. At night, in the big bed together, she goes mental sometimes if I appear to refuse boobies. Sometimes it's just me saying "shhh..time to sleep", etc. and she flips out. She still seems so little and so very very sad. She goes to sleep with rocking (even with me) sometimes, so that makes me wonder how much she needs boobs if she's wigging out..maybe she's really hungry/thirsty.

Oi, she's going to be blame me in therapy.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:28 pm 
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The first few nights, maybe 3, he would kind of cry when I left the room, then nate would give him the bottle and he was fine within about 30 seconds. Now I can tell he wants me to leave and he will point at the bottle. He slept through the night a couple times this week!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:45 pm 
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Nice, LB! Violet has mostly slept through the night (well, until 4:30-5ish, but that's good enough for me!) 3 times in the last week. I have the baby monitor and she does wake up and cry a little around 2, but I wait a few seconds before getting out of bed to take her and while in the past it has escalated until we go get her, lately she just goes right back to sleep before we even get downstairs.

I'm pretty happy about this and hopes it becomes a regular thing (the nights it hasn't worked, it's because I've taken her up to bed with me in the first place, because some schedule weirdness have meant a tough time getting her to sleep in her own bed earlier in the evening). Husband's gone a lot, including now, so sending him down instead isn't an option for us, and I was dreading nightweaning while cosleeping. Right now she'll want to nurse half the night if she's with us, but she sleeps much better alone. I just need to get better about getting her down for a nap earlier in the day so she will sleep easily in the evening.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 3:55 pm 
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Not having much luck with the staying in bed all night yet. Only two nights, but lots of tears and just meh. I'm so discouraged lately. Sorta beyond tired to where I'm convinced that she is going to be like this forever. Violet and Grey are both right at 18 months almost? Wondering if we just have maybe a few more months of zombieism. She chugalugs sometimes during the night, so really unsure about trying to nightwean. Do your older little ones really nurse during the night or more just nibble?

Today, we had just one mid-day nap and a slightly earlier bedtime, so not sure at all what's going to happen. She was happy most of the day, though very tired right before the nap and bedtime. I think I just heard her bump the headboard of the crib now....oi, lay still baby! :)


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:20 pm 
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Grey is 17 months, and sleeping through the night is until 4:30, but he goes to bed at 6:30.

He was eating sooooo much at night, now since I night weaned he is eating more milk during the day. Before he would only nurse 3-4 times a day, but then allll night. Now he is probably nursing 6 or more times a day, although he can go longer if he's with dad or something.

At thanksgiving he slept with us cause a friend was sleeping in his room and he woke up more, later this week he will sleep with us again, so we will see how that goes.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:21 pm 
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Refinnej, I do think you'll see a change in the next couple months and once you can get her in her own space, whether in your room, your bed or her own room, but where she can move and you can move without waking each other up, I think things will get better. As hard as this has been I am still glad we didn't do sleep training.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 8:23 pm 
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Littlebear, do you mind me asking how Nate gets Grey to sleep? Does he just fall asleep taking the bottle or is there a lot of rocking, etc. going on? Last week we started having Andy put Ada to sleep. I nurse her when we are getting her ready for bed, when the lights are still on, and then Andy puts her to bed. He has been rocking her for a couple of minutes and then lays down in the bed with her until she falls asleep. Then he moves her to the crib. But, we want to move her to her own room (well i don't really waaant to but it needs to get done at some point before the new baby gets here) after the new year so I'm not sure how its going to work without the bed there to lie down in.

Oh and a new problem. Ada has not napped in four days. I am still trying to nurse her to sleep for naps and she seems to fall asleep but as soon as I put her down in the crib she wakes up. Today she started calling for dada. So I don't know if she now needs him to fall asleep or what. But she is clearly exhausted. Yesterday she fell asleep in her stroller at the end of the day which has maybe happened once before.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:12 am 
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Grey has always hated his crib, so we gave up on having him sleep in a crib. He sleeps on a full sized mattress and that way we can sleep with him when we need to. Grey gets really tired around 5:30-6, but we try and push as long as possible cause no way is he going to bed that early and then waking up even earlier! So, when it's time for bed we all go to his room, get him suited up, read a book or two or three, then I rock his bunny to sleep and then grey will usually climb into nates arms and want to be rocked. Then, while still totally awake, we lie him down, I kiss bunny, grey and Nate and tell them I love them and leave the room and turn off the light. Nate gives him a bottle and when he gets sleepy, Nate takes the bottle and lays with him until he falls asleep. Then we just leave him in the bed. Grey has never been one of those amazing dead weight babies that you can move and he will stay asleep, if he gets stimulated in any way, he is UP, so that is why we just go with the bed. Of course now when he wakes up he gets out of bed right away, so that is a whole other issue!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:34 pm 
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330 in the goddamn fmother forking morning. I have not slept more than 20 consecutive minutes in five days. She is yawning and giggling and kicking the wall. Ive put her to sleep four times tonight, where she was out, snoring softly, really asleep. Yet here we are, after s trip carrying her to the bathroom so I could puke. What the fork is wrong with this child.

I am losing my mind


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 10:39 pm 
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I am really sorry nnej. Maybe get a hotel room and one night's sleep? I don't know how you're functioning on so little, and the fact that you're puking regularly seems very troubling.

Many many many good thoughts to you!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:19 am 
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3 hours awake, tossing and turning with no discernible cause. Now kicking me when time to go for a nap, though obviously tired. She is in her bed, freaking out now because I need 5 minutes' breather. Throw in a bite that drew blood and you get the idea. Dozens and dozens of kids I've worked with and I'm failing my own child. She's crying, I'm crying...this sucks sucks sucks. Something has got to give soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:46 am 
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Have you talked to a sleep consultant? I don't know how you are doing it, I felt like I was totally losing my mind and we never had it nearly as bad as you. There is a sleep consultant here who has come super highly recommended no she does Skype visits if you want her info!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:11 pm 
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oh no refinnej, that is awful...I am very sorry you are puking and being driven mad. Major hugs.


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:20 pm 
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Chip Strong
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littlebear wrote:
Grey has always hated his crib, so we gave up on having him sleep in a crib. He sleeps on a full sized mattress and that way we can sleep with him when we need to. Grey gets really tired around 5:30-6, but we try and push as long as possible cause no way is he going to bed that early and then waking up even earlier! So, when it's time for bed we all go to his room, get him suited up, read a book or two or three, then I rock his bunny to sleep and then grey will usually climb into nates arms and want to be rocked. Then, while still totally awake, we lie him down, I kiss bunny, grey and Nate and tell them I love them and leave the room and turn off the light. Nate gives him a bottle and when he gets sleepy, Nate takes the bottle and lays with him until he falls asleep. Then we just leave him in the bed. Grey has never been one of those amazing dead weight babies that you can move and he will stay asleep, if he gets stimulated in any way, he is UP, so that is why we just go with the bed. Of course now when he wakes up he gets out of bed right away, so that is a whole other issue!

Ok, so sounds sort of similar to what we do. I don't really want to do the whole cry it out thing either so we'll have to figure something else out when we move her to her room.

Refinnej, I really hope you get some relief soon!


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:50 pm 
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I'm going to talk with the doula who helped us with birth prep and see if she has any recommendations of specialists. No matter where she is, after midnight(ish, sometimes more like 10:30), she wakes up continually throughout the night, 5-7x's usually between around 11 and 6:30 a.m.

I'm going to take some take away from the 'net and just really try and heal myself. K is off for Christmas now for two weeks, and I'm hoping that the time for us all together can do us some good. I think that until these past few days when he's been sleeping upstairs, he didn't really get how bad it is. I said today, that I really feel like I'm in trouble lately, that I'm going to end up in the hospital or having some sort of breakdown. There are other stressors too...having to quit working which doesn't help our financial situation, families pressuring us about moving and K and I disagreeing between ourselves about this. Something's gotta give, so I'm hoping for a Christmas miracle. ;)


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 Post subject: Re: Sweet dreams (advice/questions about kid sleep)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 4:01 pm 
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We'll be thinking of you, refinnej. It's so hard when little ones struggle to sleep. (My first had a lot of sleep issues!) I hope you get the rest you deserve!

Sashi - we also did something similar for our first little guy. The crib was so hard, because moving him always woke him. We just got him to sleep on a mattress instead.

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