Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Fortunately the person who was making me anxious super mega rejected me, so that's no longer a worry!

You know when you're having a panic attack but you're in the middle of a conversation and all your energy is going into appearing to act normal and not fall over and you're dripping sweat and super pale and they're like uuuuuhhh what's up? That's what happened at the vet's office yesterday!

I am very grateful for a mom who will pick me up at a moment's notice when I have a crisis and who happens to be a therapist...

A client for whom I delivered a big order on Wednesday asked me to wait until today to cash their check (which isn't unusual). When I went to cash it though, they told me the funds weren't available. Normally I would just be annoyed and wait until Monday, but we literally have no money (because I still haven't gotten paid for another big order this week, and ingredients aren't free - they come out of my pocket) and no food in our house, and I have a 2-year-old to feed. So I had to do the unthinkable and ask them for cash. I'm on my way there now to get part in cash and another check for the difference, but I could tell my client was annoyed with me. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

When someone places an order they're expected to have the money available. They have no right to be annoyed with you and you have every right to ask for money that they owe you. Try not to let it get to you (I know, easier said than done, haha).

it's taken me a long time to grow the confidence to follow up on this, but i deal with this at my work also-- i hate to talk about money, and always feel sheepish and like a little girl asking for something i don't deserve. but it's part of the social contract to deliver and get paid. not to finance your clients til they can get the money to pay for something that you did. yes, i hate to make clients feel bad in any way about themselves, because repeat business is important, but seriously? anything less than cash on delivery from a small business means financial hardship for that small business's owner-- especially if you need to pay for ingredients out of pocket. They should be ashamed of themselves.

poopiebitch, what they said. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I also have a really hard time asking for things that I have every right to. All that forking nice girl training.

hell yes. You are delivering goods. If they are annoyed that you want the money when they said it would be available that's on them not you.

Holy shiitake, pb. I would be just as anxious in your shoes, but you're in the right in every way.

I'm also sometimes relieved when I get rejected for the same reason.

Urgh!!! I wish I could turn off the anxiety part of me because it is causing the depressive side of things to go belly up too. I can't stop worrying about EVERYTHING at work. I'm at the stage where I will be mid something and have to stop to run back to the clinic to recheck everything I done back up there. Then because I am so preoccupied and anxious I end up not picking up on paperwork side of things as quick and the nurse I work directly with is a bit on the impatient side. Today she backed off a bit when it finally dawned on her that all the paperwork is completely different to the service I had worked in so it is not just getting used to a new placement but new paperwork, policies, procedures and even bloody well different medications and methods of administration!! GAH!!!!

Then to top it all off the tablet I am taking for the anxiety depression is making me really tired during the day despite being on a small enough dose. The past two days I swapped to taking it in the evening after dinner but today I missed the sedative side of it and my anxiety levels are sky high.

I have myself nearly getting sick over worrying. I wish I could bloody well be normal.

I've been spending a lot of time searching for jobs, and it's so stressful! I get so anxious at the thought of applying that it takes me forever to work up the courage just to write a cover letter and send in an application. I'm not exactly sure what makes me so nervous - the idea of interviewing? actually getting the job? i think it's all of that. i really need a job though! so i have to press on, but ugh.

I went through this for the longest time after graduating. And then the jobs dried up and now it's all but impossible to get a job in my field now. I would blame Obama, but I don't think he has all that much sway in Scotland. I can blame Trump though, right? Anyhoo, what I was meaning to say is you are an awesome RD and you can rock this shiitake! Apply, apply, apply. Write the baws out of everything! Get it!

Aw, thanks Bang?! You can blame trump for anything! I'm going to keep trying because I have to make money, but its tough!

I will sit here and shout cheers down the laptop to spur you on to get that CV done. Believe you are fabulous dawling and it will be a cinch.

I think me having my little meltdown here helped me because I wasn't as anxious today. Maybe it was because the things I done today were less technical that it didn't have me in freak out mode and petrified I was going to accidentally kill someone by administering the wrong thing. I did have nightmares about it last night though.

Thanks for the support you guys. I went that day and got $60 of the $260 they owed, and then come yesterday the new check wouldn't cash either. I felt like I was going to have a break-down at that point, but I was upset and I made them drive to me to deliver the cash. They were apologetic and hopefully I won't have to deal with this again, because like some of you said, I have such a hard time with asking for money even when it is mine.

good for you. I do my own billing and accounting, and enjoy it, but i get a knot in my stomach when it's time to open the online bank account and check the deposits. Or ask for payment. I have to set up some kind of automatic thing (and avoid it entirely!).

Oh poopiebitch. That is awful to have to deal with. I would probably feel the exact same as you. You deserve to have every cent on time because your baked food looks absolutely incredible.

My anxiety has gotten really bad mostly because of some really terrible losses. My panic attacks were getting so common that I finally went to the doctor.

It ended up being fortuitous timing. The doctor I saw was one of the nicest caring doctors I have ever seen. And she had suffered from anxiety attacks too. She talked to me for a long time about everything I wanted to talk about and didn't pry into anything I didn't want to talk about. It was was pretty unbelievable. I mean, I have avoiding talking to a doctor for...20 years for a variety of reasons.

Anyway, amongst other things, she told me about this great book, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, and I have been working through it. I thought I'd pass it along for anyone that needs help, I think some of you might get something out of it. Especially if you want to just understand anxiety more in addition to dealing with it. It's really a holistic look at anxiety and phobias that guides you through things like diet, exercise, things that happened in childhood that could have made you susceptible, how to deal with panic attacks, cognitive psyh tips, deep breathing, medication, and all sorts of other ways to deal with the problem from every approach. I also like that it's a workbook. It's also really nice to have something for when I am panicking instead of just trying to distract myself.

Totally having a right dose of anxiety today. Right now I am feeling lightheaded because of it. I'm wreaked tired from being on high alert. Can't wait to go to bed.

I've been feeling the same way lately, daisychain. I was so exhausted that I ended up getting really sick and was bed-ridden for a few days, because I was SO worn down from constant high alert.

Wouldn't it be lovely to to not be in a state of panic every time the slightest thing happens? I used never worry like this. Any time something minor happens it just reminds me how rubbish I am.

You're not rubbish and neither am I. We just really have sensitive (to say the least) fear centres in our brains. Think of it as like a car on the street whose alarm goes off with a gust of wind. I'm struggling with feeling rubbish about it, too, though, so in a way as I'm saying this, I'm telling myself, too. hang in there. <3

Thanks. Just need to learn how to control my mind and not let my mind control me. xxx

Jeez, i was shaking with rage this morning because of AN EMAIL. An email from a client.
I am trying to grow my skin thicker. Actually, I'm hoping i get a turtle shell for christmas.

I'm asking Santa for thicker skin for Christmas.

There were times today that I was visibly shaking at work.

For the first time in my life anxiety has gotten in my way. I can't finish my paper without panic attacks because I'm so afraid of failure. I've had panic attacks for every single presentation I've given at school this year. Sure, anxiety was bad in undergrad, but it never got in my way. It's bad enough my therapist wants to put me on drugs in January (possibly because I may be depressed as well).