Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Besides stepping in cat puke this morning, everyone in marketing went to a holiday luncheon/goodbye party for a co-worker, and I was not invited. (not because I am vegan, I have been out with them before, it's not an issue. They are actually very cool about it).

Not really certain why I was not invited. I am in marketing, but the product division I work for is headquartered in Canada. So it is kind of not my department. but people from other departments went too? So...yeah. Each department can have their own holiday party, but I am not invited to any of them. And they dude that is leaving? he was the guy that hired me, and his office is right next to me. I am 95% sure they either forgot me, or just plain old didn't want me to come. Either way it sucks. And it also sucks that I get a little upset, and email my partner to vent, and he just tells me to calm down, that I am over-reacting. Well sorry, but my feelings are hurt, both personally and professionally. I mean, I am not literally crying into my keyboard or anything, but I feel kind of shitty all the same.

Oh, and my interview at another place tonight was just cancelled. blah!

(I usually am a very positive person. These last few months have sucked asparagus. Hence all the complaining. It feels nice to vent, even anonymously on a forum.)

Broke out in bleeping hives on my legs, mostly, but some on my arms and I'm sure there will be some elsewhere when I go to take a shower, from the bleepin cold!! Yeah, I guess I am allregic to the cold. Annnnd I had to go out in it in the first flace to walk a couple of MIELES to get my daughter (late) from school, because my van was totally trenched in and stuck in deep, deep snow. I haven't warmed up yet, as may be evident by the typos from my frozenfingers. I'm leaving them in. The good news (? ) is, I am now going to be totally on top of telling my doctor I have this as a likely allregy, as, after being fed up with it today and googling, I realized I might not have been imagining that my airways were tightening with the weird sensation of choking, so yeah should really do something about that. Liie move ou to of this climate (I kinda hate Central Alberta right now, sorry to say) Today can BITE me.

So I don't know what to do right now. I have the flu and have been throwing up all day. I'm in the last week of classes before my finals so I really really needed to be at school this evening. Also, in order to pass I have to go to 90% of my classes. This means I can only miss one class a term. I already missed this class a few weeks ago due to a much more mild illness. I called a cab to take me since the idea of walking a mile and being pukey on a bus did not sound appealing. An hour went by and the cab didn't come, so when I called they said it would be another hour or so. I was already late. So I decided to stay home and lay in bed so I can throw up in peace. I've emailed my teacher twice to see if there is anything I can do to pass this class. I have this terrible feeling in my gut that I won't pass. This is such a big deal because I'm in a year long massage program. If I fail a class I can't repeat it for 6 months when it's offered again. And I'm really upset because I was really hoping to graduate next summer with my 12 other classmates. I feel like a failure.

My BFF came into work today super depressed seeming. Just so sad. I don't know what to do, I just had to let her be, and reminded her to text me if she wants to chat/needs anything and I'll be home at 9 with some mulled wine for her. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong.

Today (and yesterday and tomorrow and Thursday probably as well) just sort of sucked in general. Can it just be Friday already so I can be in Portland visiting my sissy? I need sister time :(

I hate bras and everything about having a girl body. I have been searching all over for one of those bras with the weird low back strap so that you can wear lower cut tops in the back because my bridesmaid dress for my friend's wedding is about a centimeter lower than the top of my bra strap. The people at Victoria's Secret wouldn't even acknowledge me, the person at H&M treated me like I was delusional, and the woman at Macy's informed me that they only have the stick-on kind. When I declined that because I don't like them, she looked at my chest and said, "You're pretty small anyways. What's a bra gonna do?"

WAAAAHHHHHHH.

She MEANT that I shouldn't stress about finding one because I could easily get away with not wearing one. But of course it's impossible for someone with the kind of self-esteem issues I have to hear it in any other way than badly.

I know this is silly and small but I just have such awful, awful neuroses about my body and appearance and the fact that I'm ridiculously small chested and bra shopping is always a nightmare that makes me cry and feel ugly and misshapen made dealing with this even worse. I don't want to deal with anything else tonight, but I have to pack to leave tomorrow for the wedding and just... Argh.

Oh, man, DC. That sucks. What horrible customer service to make you feel that way!

Is there any way to loosen the straps and pin one of your normal bras to the dress so it stays in place? You could also try that modesty tape stuff (the kind that worked for JLo's green dress) on your bra to make it stick a little lower. If those don't work, when you get to the wedding location, see if any of your friends or the bride's entourage people have any tips for you. Or, do you possibly have a bra that's the same/similar color as the dress? Then if it's showing, it won't be as noticeable.

I'm going to try to adjust my bra myself with some ribbons and stuff, sort of like how those lower back bras normally work. The dress is only about a centimeter lower than the bra, so it shouldn't be too hard. I might try the pinning trick too. The bride is being so super supportive and sweet and promising to drive me all over to find a bra or order me one from Amazon Prime or whatever I need. I just don't want to muck up her wedding pictures with bra hanging out! So, I WILL make it work. It was just a festival of bad body image today.

So I am having wine and Candy Cane Joe-Joes and cat snuggles. I will overcome! Wooo.

DC, I saw a thing like that on Asos that you can attach to your bra closure. Maybe a store near you sells that brand too and you can still get it in time!

Aw, I don't even know your BFF and this makes me sad! I hope she feels better now.

omfg, will i EVER have housemates that learn how to stay the fork out of my room?!

My back is ridiculously stiff/sore. I have so much work to do for my degree project (it's due in a week! Eep!) and most of it involves me being hunched over a sewing machine, which isn't helping my back.

I'm just forking exhausted in every way, mostly mentally but that's manifesting itself as physical exhaustion, too. And it's just getting started...the holiday season means I get to see my FAMILY! And y'all, I'm sure, know how I feel about that.

Can you get a lock? I cannot understand why someone would need to go into someone else's room, this woulda driven me insane when I had housemates. I used to live with 4 guys & they never came into my room.

Realizing everything is going badly.

Ugh, bras. For some reason, everything about fashion and female bodies that I already hate crystallizes out when it comes to bras. (I have been told multiple times that my bra size does not exist - according to The Man. But I do exists, and so does my bra size.)

Bra shopping is the worst. I about had a breakdown in M&S trying to find a bra that fit me properly.

no kidding.

in other news, i didn't wash my lentils before making the tamarind lentils. what the hell was i thinking?!?!? #sandcrunchinginmyteefs

Paloma, have you gone to a place like Intimacy? If they can't find your size, they'll alter the bras they have to make them fit. It's not cheap, but it's honestly worth it if you can scrape together the money.

I buy all my bra's online. :) There's tons of brand new Freya bras on Ebay, for like 20 pound a piece, I have them shipped here. (I'm a pretty solid 30DD, and know which Freya bras fit me upon sight.) Seriously, for everyone with a so called non-conventional bra size and little money, Ebay is the way to go.

Once you know what size you are it definitely makes sense. I'm a 32F, so I feel your pain, but eBay hasn't come through with the styles the fit me best.

Woke up this morning, felt a little dizzy, grabbed the door handle to get out of my room and go pee, then all of a sudden I wake up lying on the floor.

I think I have myself to blame for this, as I haven't taken my iron pills in several weeks. I bought more of them today so from this moment I'll be better at taking them. I was lucky this time though, as I fell on the fluffy carpet, and my dad was home. Last time I passed out, the back of my head hit the bathtub and I lost a lot of blood and had to spend the whole day at the hospital.

One of my coworkers is just SO COMPLICATED and I am losing sleep because of him. We were close friends but sometimes he throws me under the bus. And another coworker, who I really like, I have to fire because she messed up too many times. Work is haaaard when you have emotions.

Blergh. Kind of hungover.

Holy shiitake, Love Child! I hope you are feeling better soon! That's terrifying!