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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:48 pm 
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JonnyWoop wrote:
Do you folks respond to every message you get? I got one from a woman who seems nice and she wrote me like three paragraphs. But I'm not attracted to her and don't want to lead her on or waste anybody's time. That said, I don't want to be a jerk.

Don't feel bad about not responding if you aren't into it. Anyone who has been doing the online dating thing has been on both sides of that. That said, if she seems nice, it could be a good time to try the friend thing everyone has been talking about. And don't worry about leading her on if you do respond. I'm sure she can manage her expectations :)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:49 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
JonnyWoop wrote:

I'm sensing a theme here.


Sometimes the advice we get isn't the advice we want?

Sounds like a lot of people are being thoughtful and caring towards you. Maybe accusing them of piling up isn't the best way to react to them.


I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. I really appreciate everyone's compassionate responses. I just disagree with what is best for me and whether I'm capable of being a good boyfriend now. But like jordanpattern, I'd really appreciate it if we moved on.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:50 pm 
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I just had to share this message I got today:
Quote:
hey i am Rick and i am 5"11 and i like to have fun doing anything that we both can enjoy :) i am not picky on fun but whatever you want to do is cool :) but if you want me to pick i can pick some if you are up for it but i think its what both people should feel like doing :) i hope to hear from you :) if u want my cell my number is xxx-xxx-xxxx but if u want my aim its xxxxxx or my yahoo its xxxxxx i just hope i get to hear from you :)

PS: i am the nicest guy you ever meet :) just thought you wanted to know :)...lets say i am what you call needle in the haystack and i am not a bot i don't think a bot gives out cell phones lol :) i am a real person :)


My favorite part is "I am not a bot. I am a real person."


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 5:27 pm 
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At first I felt like it was mean of you to post that, but then I read the second part.

lol:) looks like a guy in an engineer hat


I had coffee with someone much younger than me on Saturday. It was nice and we got along pretty well. The ball's in her court now, communication-wise. That's not really interesting, but I felt like contributing something other than the hat thing.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 5:36 pm 
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It's pretty awesome to send a flirt/pickup line that makes you seem so much like a bot that you have to say "I'm not a bot." Imitating a bot isn't the best way to pick up chicks. I'll let T-Rex tell you how to pick up chicks: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2330


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:29 pm 
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i had my date! it was nice but felt more like a friendship sort of thing so it's probably the kind of person i could crush on in the future but there weren't any sparks or anything.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 10:58 pm 
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I'm sorry, fupapack.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:20 am 
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Well she said she wanted to go out again so do I do that and she if she's less nervous or whatever or is that stringing her along?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:20 am 
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Well she said she wanted to go out again so do I do that and she if she's less nervous or whatever or is that stringing her along?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:31 am 
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I think it's ok to do that. I think it's ok to go on a second date if you think it's probably not going anywhere romantically but you want to see if something changes on the second date only don't lead them on in the non-verbal signals. A conversation maybe after second date if you see wanting to be friends but not romantically inclined in your future?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:28 am 
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I'm all for second dates, you never know what's going on in a person's life to make them quiet/reserved/nervous etc on a first date. I've had guys tell me they don't warm up until a second or third date.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 10:12 am 
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fezza wrote:
I'm all for second dates, you never know what's going on in a person's life to make them quiet/reserved/nervous etc on a first date. I've had guys tell me they don't warm up until a second or third date.

That's what I'm thinking!!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:41 pm 
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The girl I'd been talking to and had plans to meet with last weekend just texted me tonight saying the reason she backed out was that she'd met someone else she really liked and apologized for not telling me straight away.
Oh well. I'd sensed some weird backpedaling vibes, but figured I'd just wait and see. So it's not a huge shock or disappointment, but it's a bummer. She was really cute and seemed really cool.
*sigh*


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:46 pm 
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That's fine shanty, you could still end up going on a date with her, so don't write it off completely.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:29 pm 
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GuiltyofBeingSprite wrote:
That's fine shanty, you could still end up going on a date with her, so don't write it off completely.


That's true, but honestly I'd probably not plan on it. Not only because she's kind of far away, but that sort of thing, no matter how non-mean it was meant to be sets off a fair amount of "don't try too hard" flags for me.
I guess I have enough problems feeling (whether justified or not) that I'm always a second-choice for everyone despite putting a lot of effort into relationships that I try to avoid people and/or situations that make me feel that even more.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:33 pm 
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So this really cute boy named Chris Coyne sent me a message. Do you think I should write him back?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:49 pm 
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So that's the only really cute boy that sent you a message huh?!?!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:51 pm 
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Haha, no somebody named Marsbut sent me one too. But his profile said he was 32, so it couldn't be anyone I know. :P


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:56 pm 
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JonnyWoop wrote:
So this really cute boy named Chris Coyne sent me a message. Do you think I should write him back?


1.) Do you like dudes? If yes, go straight to question 3.
2.) If you don't usually like dudes, could you see yourself liking a dude if they were REALLY cute or clever or whatever? If yes, go on to question 3.
3.) Do you like what you see of this dude? If yes, reply to him. (And also to Mars, because he is adorable too.)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:01 pm 
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Shantylass wrote:
JonnyWoop wrote:
So this really cute boy named Chris Coyne sent me a message. Do you think I should write him back?


1.) Do you like dudes? If yes, go straight to question 3.
2.) If you don't usually like dudes, could you see yourself liking a dude if they were REALLY cute or clever or whatever? If yes, go on to question 3.
3.) Do you like what you see of this dude? If yes, reply to him. (And also to Mars, because he is adorable too.)


Oh, I'm sorry! I guess nobody got my joke. :( Chris Coyne is one of the OK Cupid founders who sends out automated messages.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:02 pm 
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JonnyWoop wrote:
Shantylass wrote:
JonnyWoop wrote:
So this really cute boy named Chris Coyne sent me a message. Do you think I should write him back?


1.) Do you like dudes? If yes, go straight to question 3.
2.) If you don't usually like dudes, could you see yourself liking a dude if they were REALLY cute or clever or whatever? If yes, go on to question 3.
3.) Do you like what you see of this dude? If yes, reply to him. (And also to Mars, because he is adorable too.)


Oh, I'm sorry. I guess nobody got my joke. :( Chris Coyne is one of the OK Cupid founders who sends out automated messages.


Ooooh.
No, I'm just incredibly dense. xD


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:03 pm 
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Shantylass wrote:

Ooooh.
No, I'm just incredibly dense. xD


I'm sooooorrryyy! I feel like a total crasshole now. :(


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:23 pm 
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JonnyWoop wrote:
Shantylass wrote:

Ooooh.
No, I'm just incredibly dense. xD


I'm sooooorrryyy! I feel like a total crasshole now. :(


Nah, we're cool.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:37 pm 
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Haha, I was sitting here thinking "Why does that name sound familiar?" Probably because the only OKC messages I ever got* were from "him." Well, except for the creepy old married dude who was just looking for someone (apparently, anyone) to fork.

*I have filled out virtually nothing on my profile, which I just made so I could creep PPKers. No pic, no info about me. I think it says I'm in a relationship and that I, you know, exist.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:59 am 
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so i've decided that i am not going on another date with that lady. she doesn't have a job, lives with her mom, doesn't ride a bike or have a car. her mother has a stick but she said she "can't" learn how to drive it. so it pretty much means i would always have to host, pay for everything, and drive us anywhere unless we took my tandem out which i think is too tall for her to ride comfortably anyways...


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