Post Punk Kitchen Forum

i had my date! it was nice but felt more like a friendship sort of thing so it's probably the kind of person i could crush on in the future but there weren't any sparks or anything.

I'm sorry, fupapack.

Well she said she wanted to go out again so do I do that and she if she's less nervous or whatever or is that stringing her along?

Well she said she wanted to go out again so do I do that and she if she's less nervous or whatever or is that stringing her along?

I think it's ok to do that. I think it's ok to go on a second date if you think it's probably not going anywhere romantically but you want to see if something changes on the second date only don't lead them on in the non-verbal signals. A conversation maybe after second date if you see wanting to be friends but not romantically inclined in your future?

I'm all for second dates, you never know what's going on in a person's life to make them quiet/reserved/nervous etc on a first date. I've had guys tell me they don't warm up until a second or third date.

That's what I'm thinking!!

The girl I'd been talking to and had plans to meet with last weekend just texted me tonight saying the reason she backed out was that she'd met someone else she really liked and apologized for not telling me straight away.
Oh well. I'd sensed some weird backpedaling vibes, but figured I'd just wait and see. So it's not a huge shock or disappointment, but it's a bummer. She was really cute and seemed really cool.
*sigh*

That's fine shanty, you could still end up going on a date with her, so don't write it off completely.

That's true, but honestly I'd probably not plan on it. Not only because she's kind of far away, but that sort of thing, no matter how non-mean it was meant to be sets off a fair amount of "don't try too hard" flags for me.
I guess I have enough problems feeling (whether justified or not) that I'm always a second-choice for everyone despite putting a lot of effort into relationships that I try to avoid people and/or situations that make me feel that even more.

So this really cute boy named Chris Coyne sent me a message. Do you think I should write him back?

So that's the only really cute boy that sent you a message huh?!?!

Haha, no somebody named Marsbut sent me one too. But his profile said he was 32, so it couldn't be anyone I know. :P

1.) Do you like dudes? If yes, go straight to question 3.
2.) If you don't usually like dudes, could you see yourself liking a dude if they were REALLY cute or clever or whatever? If yes, go on to question 3.
3.) Do you like what you see of this dude? If yes, reply to him. (And also to Mars, because he is adorable too.)

Oh, I'm sorry! I guess nobody got my joke. :( Chris Coyne is one of the OK Cupid founders who sends out automated messages.

Ooooh.
No, I'm just incredibly dense. xD

I'm sooooorrryyy! I feel like a total crasshole now. :(

Nah, we're cool.

Haha, I was sitting here thinking "Why does that name sound familiar?" Probably because the only OKC messages I ever got* were from "him." Well, except for the creepy old married dude who was just looking for someone (apparently, anyone) to fork.

*I have filled out virtually nothing on my profile, which I just made so I could creep PPKers. No pic, no info about me. I think it says I'm in a relationship and that I, you know, exist.

so i've decided that i am not going on another date with that lady. she doesn't have a job, lives with her mom, doesn't ride a bike or have a car. her mother has a stick but she said she "can't" learn how to drive it. so it pretty much means i would always have to host, pay for everything, and drive us anywhere unless we took my tandem out which i think is too tall for her to ride comfortably anyways...

I thought you didn't have a job either?

No I lost my full time job but i have a few other side jobbies.

Fupapack, That's understandable.

(Jonnywoop I think it's more of power imbalance issue, ie the other person has basically presented themselves in light that makes fupapack do all the work. It's one thing for someone to be unemployed-I dated while unemployed and even dated someone else who was unemployed-but neither of us depended on the other to foot the bill nor provide all transportation, plan everything/etc.)

Just an observation from someone who's dated while unemployed.

No, you're totally right.

If that's coming over the interwebs as harsh, I want to make sure you know it's not meant that way, it just seemed like from a third party there might be some confusion here that I might be able to clear up!