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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:08 am 
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fupapack wrote:
And I just got this message "I like your hair...it reminds me of bozo the clowns pubes" what is wrong with people? i also looked at the questions she had answered and apparently she likes racist jokes! Wheee!

Barely related: I answered the question about whether it's okay for women to have short hair, and commented that I think short hair on women is beautiful. A guy sent me a message that said "Just so you know, some men think short hair on girls is unattractive. :)" It's quite clear in my pictures that I'm a girl with short hair so I told him that was a pretty ridiculous message to send. He said "Oh, no, your hair isn't 'short,' your hair is cute. You don't look like a man." Uh, thanks guy?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:13 am 
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kilgore trout wrote:
fupapack wrote:
And I just got this message "I like your hair...it reminds me of bozo the clowns pubes" what is wrong with people? i also looked at the questions she had answered and apparently she likes racist jokes! Wheee!

Barely related: I answered the question about whether it's okay for women to have short hair, and commented that I think short hair on women is beautiful. A guy sent me a message that said "Just so you know, some men think short hair on girls is unattractive. :)" It's quite clear in my pictures that I'm a girl with short hair so I told him that was a pretty ridiculous message to send. He said "Oh, no, your hair isn't 'short,' your hair is cute. You don't look like a man." Uh, thanks guy?


I was dating a woman once who had the most beautiful long blond hair. Then she shaved it all off. Not like Mia Farrow in "Rosemary's Baby" but Natalie Portman in "V for Vendetta." At first I was kind of bummed about it. But I grew to think it was absolutely badass and hella sexy.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:16 am 
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I once had an ex boyfriend tell me that he'd be very upset if I cut my hair. We broke up shortly after that (unrelated) and I totally went for a short hair cut.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:55 am 
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Chiming in a bit late on this, but if I were fupa, the deal breaker would be does not ride a bike. Especially if you're broke and don't drive. How you gonna get around without a bike? How am I going to take you on any of my romantic ride a bike to (place) dates if you got no bike?


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:11 am 
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Olives wrote:
Chiming in a bit late on this, but if I were fupa, the deal breaker would be does not ride a bike. Especially if you're broke and don't drive. How you gonna get around without a bike? How am I going to take you on any of my romantic ride a bike to (place) dates if you got no bike?

She lives in a neighborhood where there isn't much going and suggested the one bar over there that's a dumpy faux irish pub. I suggested a beer bar a few blocks over and she said she didn't want to go. I now realize it's because she didn't want to walk over there. I mean that makes her world incredibly small. so yeah if we went anywhere I'd have to drive and I make a point not to drive around my city because it's so small and it's quite wasteful.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:13 am 
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JonnyWoop wrote:
fupapack wrote:
I don't understand why'd people would take the time to troll people on a dating site?


I don't know. Sometimes people will write that you shouldn't bother messaging them if all they have to say is "Hey, what's up?" So sometimes I'll lead off with that as a joke. I almost always write more after that and it's always sent to women I'm interested in. But it's probably not nearly as cute as I think it is.

It's not...I have a similar caveat (about sending a wink. God I forking hate winks) and when people send one then go "haha naw, just kidding" it's an immediate mark against them.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:21 am 
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fupapack wrote:
Olives wrote:
Chiming in a bit late on this, but if I were fupa, the deal breaker would be does not ride a bike. Especially if you're broke and don't drive. How you gonna get around without a bike? How am I going to take you on any of my romantic ride a bike to (place) dates if you got no bike?

She lives in a neighborhood where there isn't much going and suggested the one bar over there that's a dumpy faux irish pub. I suggested a beer bar a few blocks over and she said she didn't want to go. I now realize it's because she didn't want to walk over there. I mean that makes her world incredibly small. so yeah if we went anywhere I'd have to drive and I make a point not to drive around my city because it's so small and it's quite wasteful.


Does your city not have public transit? That must suck for her!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:26 am 
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We have public transport but it's very expensive and not too helpful unless you need to get to a college. I don't know that I have too much sympathy for her.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:38 am 
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fupapack wrote:
We have public transport but it's very expensive and not too helpful unless you need to get to a college. I don't know that I have too much sympathy for her.


As someone who's terrified of biking if there is a car anywhere nearby and doesn't drive, I can't imagine living somewhere without decent public transit. If I'm going someplace that's less than a 45 minute walk I just walk, though.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:43 am 
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strawberryrock wrote:
fupapack wrote:
We have public transport but it's very expensive and not too helpful unless you need to get to a college. I don't know that I have too much sympathy for her.


As someone who's terrified of biking if there is a car anywhere nearby and doesn't drive, I can't imagine living somewhere without decent public transit. If I'm going someplace that's less than a 45 minute walk I just walk, though.

Well the thing is she was talking about her bike that she used to have in college in Minneapolis so she's not afraid to bike in traffic. She also flat out said she isn't really willing to walk to places that aren't in the immediate vicinity, like the beer bar I wanted to go to was maybe a 20-25 minute walk from her neighborhood. She does drive but refuses to learn to drive stick, so it all adds up to an air of laziness to me. That is why I don't have much sympathy. If she was afraid of biking and had to rely on public transportation I would feel for her but most things on the east side are within a 45 minute walk.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 12:27 pm 
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fupapack wrote:
I don't understand why'd people would take the time to troll people on a dating site?



because it's hilarious. But only if they ask for it, like the time a woman didn't think mushrooms were vegan.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 12:31 pm 
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GuiltyofBeingSprite wrote:
fupapack wrote:
I don't understand why'd people would take the time to troll people on a dating site?



because it's hilarious. But only if they ask for it, like the time a woman didn't think mushrooms were vegan.

haw haw!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:36 pm 
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GuiltyofBeingSprite wrote:
because it's hilarious. But only if they ask for it, like the time a woman didn't think mushrooms were vegan.

Fungus is alive you guys.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 3:25 pm 
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Fezza where you at! I saw something FB official! wheeeeee!

And its actually getting really good with my long-distanceish biology-permaculture lady. In the beginning I was a bit scared about her moving too fast and she put on the breaks and gave me some time and I'm really glad I eventually went camping with her and now...well, not trying to make far-off plans because I'm still working on being in the moment about it, not having expectations and such, but, yeah. I am all aflutter. I'm still weird about wanting to define it maybe? But does it really matter?

So maybe I'll be joining the "long distance relationship" thread some time soon.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:05 pm 
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lycophyte wrote:
Fezza where you at! I saw something FB official! wheeeeee!

And its actually getting really good with my long-distanceish biology-permaculture lady. In the beginning I was a bit scared about her moving too fast and she put on the breaks and gave me some time and I'm really glad I eventually went camping with her and now...well, not trying to make far-off plans because I'm still working on being in the moment about it, not having expectations and such, but, yeah. I am all aflutter. I'm still weird about wanting to define it maybe? But does it really matter?

So maybe I'll be joining the "long distance relationship" thread some time soon.


Bwahahaaa! Yep, it's 7 weeks now and he raised the subject of facebook relationship status earlier. I hadn't thought about it really, any keen eyes would spot there was something going on by our photo linking, so wasn't really bothered about doing it. He decided he wouldn't do it, if I wasn't really into it so I said "sod it, I'm changing it when I get home". He had his changed by the time I was home, hehe!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 10:29 pm 
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Yay, Fezza!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:20 am 
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That's so awesome, Fezza!

I got an interesting message from a guy from my town saying, "you live here? let's hook up sometime" Yeah no

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:02 pm 
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Hey my vegan peeps. I searched for this question but found only one reference in this thread.
...Will you date someone who lists fishing/hunting as an interest in their profile? I have been telling people who list one or both as an interest that I'm not interested, but now I'm second-guessing myself. Your thoughts are welcome.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:47 pm 
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I wouldn't have dated a hunter as a non-vegan. If you aren't comfortable with it, no reason to try to force it.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:22 pm 
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evolvedtriangle wrote:
Hey my vegan peeps. I searched for this question but found only one reference in this thread.
...Will you date someone who lists fishing/hunting as an interest in their profile? I have been telling people who list one or both as an interest that I'm not interested, but now I'm second-guessing myself. Your thoughts are welcome.

I wouldn't be able to. I think it's totally valid for those things to be dealbreakers.

P.S. Yayyy Fezza!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:35 pm 
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Fezza!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!! I missed this on fb! So happy for you! <3 <3 <3

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:09 pm 
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yeah, go fezza!!

re: hunting. that stuff really irks me. anyone who does that sort of thing is probably someone i don't share many common interests with.

i went on a second date with someone last night and it was fun. he's a huge cinema buff-- knows a lot about the history of american cinema and such. i met him at his place to watch a movie and we ended up talking about films for most of the night rather than watching them.

going to hang out with vegan boy tomorrow, hopefully. we're planning on grabbing some vegan pizza and then catch a movie. :)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:34 pm 
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Finally met this guy over coffee that I've been chatting with for ages now on OKC. Dude he's forkin cute. Erk. But such a little sassy bisque I foresee a long way to go before boning.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 9:37 pm 
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fezza wrote:
lycophyte wrote:
Fezza where you at! I saw something FB official! wheeeeee!

And its actually getting really good with my long-distanceish biology-permaculture lady. In the beginning I was a bit scared about her moving too fast and she put on the breaks and gave me some time and I'm really glad I eventually went camping with her and now...well, not trying to make far-off plans because I'm still working on being in the moment about it, not having expectations and such, but, yeah. I am all aflutter. I'm still weird about wanting to define it maybe? But does it really matter?

So maybe I'll be joining the "long distance relationship" thread some time soon.


Bwahahaaa! Yep, it's 7 weeks now and he raised the subject of facebook relationship status earlier. I hadn't thought about it really, any keen eyes would spot there was something going on by our photo linking, so wasn't really bothered about doing it. He decided he wouldn't do it, if I wasn't really into it so I said "sod it, I'm changing it when I get home". He had his changed by the time I was home, hehe!

Yay! <3

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 11:37 am 
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Thank you guys! Just had the most adorable weekend, I love this man so much! It's ridiculous in such a short space of time, but it's just there for both of us, he adores me. All his kids know about me now (we were hoping to leave it a while but they sussed it out), they're really pleased for him, we're going to leave off me meeting them for a while yet, I'd like things between us to be further along and have more time to settle. There's no messing about with this guy, he wouldn't introduce anyone to his kids lightly, but he wants me to be part of their lives. He reckons we have a good future ahead of us and he's not afraid to say it. Gaaaaaaaaawd, he'll have ruined me for the flaky dating site men if I ever have to go back there!

Re the hunting, I was asked out by some lovely guys who hunt and/or fish but I told them it would conflict with my ethics. I don't see animal sports as sports, I see them as abuse (even if they are throwing the fish back in). It's a very personal choice, I know a PPK'r was married to a hunter and they seemed to be making it work for them. I would also be concerned about the level of detachment it takes to end a life for enjoyment/sport.

Dating thread related, I bumped into my lovely 31yr old comedian/actor (from last spring) on Friday night. I haven't seen him since his daughter's funeral in June. There were hugs and chatting but my friends were due to arrive so I couldn't properly ask him how he's doing, bless him, he's not the same person at all, he carries such a sadness in his eyes now, even when he's smiling at you. We're facebook friends, so I know he's in a relationship now, but I said to him to let me know when he's in the city again so we can grab coffee. I've always suspected he things I might want back with him, due to how warm I am when I see him, hopefully now that he knows I'm in a relationship that won't be an issue to us hanging out as friends now and again. I have a lot of time for him, he was flaky, but he's a good sort when it comes down to it.

New man is fine about me being friends with some of the guys I met through the online dating, I couldn't date someone who wanted me to give those guys up, just because of how we met. A couple of them have become really good friends to me.


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