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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:49 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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((hugs)) Those moms were way out of line. Don't want to share your toys..put them away = Childrearing 101. Kids from a very early age get it too, and usually agree, if the adult does their job and phrases things in a positive way.

Hope you are feeling better soon.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:00 pm 
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mitten...i was calm about my miscarriage at first. I didn't hit me until a week or so after I had the D & C. {{hugs}}

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:45 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs
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it's not TMI at all, mittens. i think i can speak for all of us and say we want to hear whatever you need to say about your loss. i'm so sorry you're having a shitty day.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 4:09 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Ditto that ^


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 4:52 pm 
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Bathes in Braggs
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Mittens, I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. Know that we're all here for you and thinking of you.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 9:50 am 
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Ahhh - Mitten, missed this earlier. Very sorry for what you're going through, and that parent sounds like an idiot under even good circumstances. You don't bring toys to a place with lots of little ones and expect to be able to 1) not take turns or share; or 2) hoard them all. What a bisque.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:42 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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i threw out my spouse and my kid today and told them to go to the museum, go play outside, whatever, but please give me some frigging space. i am sooooooo tired of my daughter's whining. the daily advent christmas present thing has turned out to be a disaster- every day she is more entitled and more rude. summer vacation only began this past friday and i'm already thinking about running away.
Tell me, is 2 hours of computer time and 2 hours of tv together so little that Children's Services should be called?
Is it a violation of her human rights that to use facebook, she must give me the password?
Also, if I'm paying a sickening amount for math tutoring every month, why is her math grade even lower now than when she started?? and why can i not even say the word math without her stomping around, breaking things, etc?

i think i will send her to my mother in law's for a week or two. even though i know she'll spend the whole time in front of the TV, getting none of her homework done (math, english and japanese continue through the summer. more money wasted.] and hearing from my venomous sisters in law about how mean i must be to make her help around the house and do homework.

adding to the pile, if my spouse and i talked in the last week or so, it would maybe be better. instead, he's unpredictable and grumpy. like how my PTSD father used to be when I was a kid, and we never knew if we were going to get beaten or taken to the amusement park. Maybe both, in succession. Any time i try to talk to/deal with the kid i hear him saying under his breath to the kid that i'm nuts, or a bisque. enough, i tell you.
[just a vent, he's usually a nice guy. but lately, i am really regretting some of my choices. ah, the joys of the holiday season, they bring out the worst in my mood and the worst in my family. i can't help but wonder if, like my father before me, i'm training my own kid to hate the holidays.]

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 3:49 pm 
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((hugs)) Christmas is freaking hard.

Helping around the house = part of life, imo. How old is your dd again?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:13 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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thanks bud. FC is 13. When she's good she's wonderful, but not helpful, as it's not culturally encouraged. [and she's SOOOOOO SLOOOOOOW that there's not much point in asking her to do anything if i want it done oh, say, today. which, yes, i know, she wins.]

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:17 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Yikes torque, I am so sorry.

Quote:
Any time i try to talk to/deal with the kid i hear him saying under his breath to the kid that i'm nuts, or a bisque. enough, i tell you.


I think this is pretty intolerable - both because its really undermining of you and misogynistic. Why must men always call women crazy or bisque-y?

I hope things get better. I think it must be so hard to have so many people undermining your parenting and telling your child that you are being *unfair* in providing a little structure and guidance. It sucks because it sounds like so many people are taking the easy way out of pandering to FC and being her friend in the short term, but you're being a parent and looking out for her in the long term.

I don't have an older kid, but does it really make sense to send her somewhere that your choices as a parent aren't respected? It would seem to me that that would foster further confusion in FC...

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:23 pm 
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Seagull of the PPK
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as usual, your voice smacks of reason.
sadly, at this point it's either keep her home and fight with her every day, or have a week of no fighting. My sainted mother mentioned on skype last night that I was ALWAYS sent to 4H camp, and FFA camp, and girl scout camp, and then a week with my friend who moved to Franklin, NJ [which was the sticks back then, before we moved to the REAL sticks], and then another week with my grandparents. By my calculations, they were rid of me for the whole damn summer. My sainted mother kindly refused to comment on that conclusion, but I think she might have been on to something.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:31 pm 
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Solipsistnation and I both just had what seems to have been the flu. I'm still recovering actually. Now, the Magician seems to have an ear infection. Dear the universe, what are you trying to tell me?

(Also, every time I see someone whining on Facebook about how this is the only year they've ever gotten a flu shot and they got the flu!!!! I want to smack them. Of course the vaccination doesn't give you 100% immunity. Not to mention, you likely got the shot at either a pharmacy or a doctor's office-- both places where you're likely to be sitting around with a bunch of sick people while you wait your turn. Your bad experience doesn't negate the legitimacy of vaccination in general!

And, both my kids got the flu vaccine this year and neither of them got what solipsistnation and I had (yet), so if one personal anecdote means everything, there you go.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:41 pm 
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Hope you guys all get well soon, c&s! Sucks so much when both parents are down at once.

torque- Does she like going to your mil's house? Maybe use it as a reward for her doing some of the stuff she doesn't want to do?? That way, everyone wins, at least for a little bit?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:44 pm 
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torque wrote:
as usual, your voice smacks of reason.
sadly, at this point it's either keep her home and fight with her every day, or have a week of no fighting. My sainted mother mentioned on skype last night that I was ALWAYS sent to 4H camp, and FFA camp, and girl scout camp, and then a week with my friend who moved to Franklin, NJ [which was the sticks back then, before we moved to the REAL sticks], and then another week with my grandparents. By my calculations, they were rid of me for the whole damn summer. My sainted mother kindly refused to comment on that conclusion, but I think she might have been on to something.


Continuing on that thought, is there a camp or someplace like that where she could go? Somewhere where you know there will be structure, but you won't have to be the one providing it?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:51 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I think FC is supersmart and that kids like her do really well with a bit of structure to guide them. It also sounds like FC does really well in larger groups and acts up when its just you and her (and Dad). Is there anything that is institutional rather than familial (like the 4H), where there are activities and such for her, instead of just TV? Could you have her be a "mother's helper" and help a friend with gardening or baking projects for a small sum or something? And maybe give her a roster of non-urgent projects that she has a week or so to complete on her own, and then keep peeking in to see her progress. That way, you're not frustrated by her lack of speed.

Hugs to you! I am dreading those years. So much potential for conflict and drama.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 4:44 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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sadly, camp just isn't done here. i am considering leaving her with my cousin up north for a week instead of my MIL- she has a daughter the same age, and they would at least do things. we shall see. the thing is, FC mentioned that she really likes going to my MIL's because she gets to be the "older sister" (my MIL takes care of 2 other grandchildren. FC doesn't babysit or anything so this is really her only exposure to other, younger children.). So maybe Kelly's right, it could be a reward. I need to get this figured out ASAP as my MIL is coming here on Thursday, and leaving on Sunday. Yeep!
on the bright side, i think we're ready to get her working for money- in the past it's never worked since she just didn't have the interest to follow through. this week, i saw her looking at want ads [she's too young], so I know she's at least thinking about it. I know Mr T has stuff to do in the shop that she could help with.

thanks for the help guys. again, it's mostly just venting on my part. She's a good kid.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 4:45 am 
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Seagull of the PPK
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also, this is sooooooo true.
Tofulish wrote:
It also sounds like FC does really well in larger groups and acts up when its just you and her (and Dad). .

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Buddha says 'Meh'.--matwinser
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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:06 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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I am dying. I don't know if I can take more of this baby's interminable illness and now horrific teething. Now she's not eating, not sleeping, not playing. I'm losing it.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 1:42 pm 
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Chip Strong
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Awww..poor Malka and mama.

We're on day two of no nap. Right now Ada is sprinting back and forth across the apartment yelling "1,2,3, go!".


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 3:57 pm 
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Ariann...did you go to the ped today? I was reading in another thread about her weight but didn't get to respond yet. Hope you all get some peace soon. What a way to spend Hannukah. :(


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:05 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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My husband was supposed to take her in today. I haven't heard yet if it happened.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:07 pm 
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***LIES!!!***
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Finally went to the doctor today. My husband was there for three hours, I joined them at the end. They checked for dehydration and were going to check for a UTI (she wouldn't pee so they had to wait for a sample) and of course by the time they finally took us back again she had just pooped and contaminated the sample, so they can't test for a UTI after all. She had a low fever also and they thought a UTI might explain that and the vomiting. So we got a script for something else to treat her sinus situation and instructions to come back in a few days and that was that. And she's lost even more weight. Also they said to give tylenol instead of ibuprofen for her teething pain because it's easier on the stomach. The doctor claimed that it didn't matter that we have a history of asthma.

So frustrated by all of this.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:20 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Poor Malka! I am so sorry you are dealing with all this! It sounds so frustrating and sad.

Sending many healing thoughts for a complete recovery.

Oh and btw, on our moms group, it seems like a lot of people are sick at the moment with a virus that is giving everyone fevers and runny noses.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:01 pm 
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Oh Malka! I hope that the medicine starts to help. Are you going to go back re the UTI? Ibuprofen can really mess with stomachs so I can see that. Supposedly the asthma thing is only an issue if you use acetominophen a lot, I think. I really hope she feels better soon. Sick munchkins are no fun. :(


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 7:41 pm 
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Yikes, I hope Malka is feeling better soon. It's frustrating that there don't seem to be any perfect painkiller options!! I think acetaminophen is a terrible drug but that's the only thing that seems to be advised for the little ones/pregnancy.

Good luck getting more food into her. Would she drink Isa's avocado eggnog? I haven't made it yet (I'll get to it, I'll get to it!!) but she claimed it didn't taste like avocado in the final product.. I know, it's sugary, but so's milk I guess?


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