Kids say the darnedest things 2.0

helbury · **Posted:** Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:22 am

Oh man, that's hilarious. Classic example of toddler egocentrism perhaps?

annasrobbie · **Joined:** Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 pm **Posts:** 488

That is a good one E!!!

bap · **Posted:** Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:48 pm

coldandsleepy wrote:

The Emperor must be at a certain age. He is cranking these out lately. M is his brother.

E: (startled from thought) hey! Does M have parents?
Me: ... yes?
E: really? who are they?

That is hilarious!

annak · **Posted:** Wed Dec 12, 2012 10:02 pm

Awesome. How disloyal, to be M's parent as well!! It reminds me a bit of how my mom's [preschool/daycare] students were always flabbergasted that she went home and had a family instead of just living at the school.

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:04 pm

I just really love thinking that he thought the Magician was, I don't know, our boarder or something. And was starting to think, man, isn't that guy ever going to go home?

junalou · **Posted:** Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:50 pm

J is 20 months and starting to sing little invented songs to herself. So far the lyrics to her 2 compositions are : "Mama's big boobies, mama's big boobies"(ad infinitum) , and "hiney, vulva, tee-tee, lalala"

bap · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2012 7:54 pm

One of the two year olds in my class offered me a baby doll the other day and when I asked what I should do with it she said very matter of factly, "Eat it." So I told her I didn't eat babies and she grabbed a pretend ketchup bottle, shook it over the baby and said "How about now?"

ndpittman · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2012 8:06 pm

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:25 pm

bap wrote:

One of the two year olds in my class offered me a baby doll the other day and when I asked what I should do with it she said very matter of factly, "Eat it." So I told her I didn't eat babies and she grabbed a pretend ketchup bottle, shook it over the baby and said "How about now?"

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

poopiebitch · **Posted:** Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:48 pm

Peter insists on calling Santa, "Santa Closet". As in: Santa Closet's comin' to town.

Tofulish · **Posted:** Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:57 pm

Awwwwwww! Poopiebaby is the best!

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 12:31 pm

Me: If you're good today, then you'll get a really good treat this afternoon.
The Emperor: ice cream?!
Me: no, something better than ice cream.
E: is it a CIGARETTE?

ha ha ha what? No one, and I mean no one we know smokes.

Tofulish · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 12:54 pm

Oooh what was the treat?

torque · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:01 pm

coldandsleepy wrote:

E: is it a CIGARETTE?

oh my god, this is the most awesome and terrible and awesome again thing i've heard all day.

Butternut · **Joined:** Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:13 pm **Posts:** 1587

coldandsleepy wrote:

Me: If you're good today, then you'll get a really good treat this afternoon.
The Emperor: ice cream?!
Me: no, something better than ice cream.
E: is it a CIGARETTE?

ha ha ha what? No one, and I mean no one we know smokes.

Wow! You win the thread.

ndpittman · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 5:03 pm

Ah, a nice soothing cigarette.

The emperor rules. Ha, pun unintended, but I like it.

What was the treat?

coldandsleepy · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:05 pm

We took him to see The Hobbit! Better than a cigarette.

booberthefraggle · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:29 pm

last time I was hanging out with my baby sister I was carrying her around and she just kind of placed her hand on my chest and proclaims "emme, I am going to have big boobies like yours someday!"

didn't have the heart to tell her these don't come genetically from the parent we share.

Tofulish · **Posted:** Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:44 pm

coldandsleepy wrote:

We took him to see The Hobbit! Better than a cigarette.

So much better than a cigarette!

And boober! Boobies! *also better than a cigarette!

ndpittman · **Posted:** Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:42 am

How did he do with that? I couldn't sit still through The Lard of the rings at all.

annasrobbie · **Joined:** Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:18 pm **Posts:** 488

Over Christmas my 2.5 year old niece thought when we said "Baby Giles" we were saying "Baby Jesus" so it created some cute moments of her coming up to me and whispering if she could "touch baby Jesus." And we got it on videotape Christmas morning when she was excitedly pointing out that "Baby Jesus" was opening his presents too. Guess he Sunday School teacher will have fun correcting that one ;)

Tzippy · **Posted:** Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:06 pm

annasrobbie wrote:

Over Christmas my 2.5 year old niece thought when we said "Baby Giles" we were saying "Baby Jesus" so it created some cute moments of her coming up to me and whispering if she could "touch baby Jesus." And we got it on videotape Christmas morning when she was excitedly pointing out that "Baby Jesus" was opening his presents too. Guess he Sunday School teacher will have fun correcting that one ;)

Ha! That reminds me that my friend's 5 year old is convinced that "Adam and Eve" is pronounced "Adam Levine".

AmandaMelanie · **Posted:** Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:37 pm

Malcolm got invited to his first birthday party of a kid from school.
I asked him what he thought she would like for a gift.
He looked really thoughful for a minute, then "Well, Hannah is a girl, and girls like flowers, so I think I'll get her flowers." (we talk all the time about how boys and girls can do all the same things, etc, but I thought it was still really friggin cute).
I took him shopping for flowers, and he was very pleased with himself when he gave them to her. And she loved them. Best present ever.

FootFace · **Posted:** Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:56 pm

Well done then, Malcolm!

Kelly · **Posted:** Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:40 am

That's adorable Malcolm!

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