Footie, it sounds to me like you are a very good parent.
Footface wrote:
And I really need him—and he really needs—to wind down, to keep learning HOW to wind down. How to let these things go.
This is so important. I was in therapy for years and years, and in group therapy it was one of the biggest problems for all of us.. We couldn't let go, get over issues, unwind.. And it's so important. to me, it's really helped with my self esteem, my focus and my interpersonal relationships to learn this!
Footface wrote:
About an hour later, or maybe longer, he came upstairs to say he was having trouble relaxing. He had probably been reading almost all that time. I stalled. I am tired of being on-call for a task I shouldn't need to perform anymore. He's 10. He and I have talked about how to relax. I've walked him through the steps countless times.
I think it's really important to stick with this. Even though it can feel horrible, I think it's so important to stick with the knowledge you have that HE CAN DO IT BY HIMSELF. sleeping is a task everyone can do. he just needs to learn that he can, in fact, fall asleep on his own. and I think the best way to teach a kid how to do something is letting them find their own way, and sticking with it - by some point, when he realize that he has to do this on his own now, because you will not sit there, no matter how much of a tantrum he throws.. because he is a big, smart person, who can do it by himself. to me, this is sending a clear signal of trust and love to your kid, while teaching him to trust himself. because at some point it will work, and he will have a feeling of success and it will be awesome.
