Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Sad face... hug face... and yes, kind of.

Oh that's great! I have to say that I find your message very diplomatic. (I'm learning stuff! So "symply ask" can actually be an option!)

Yea, it works pretty well! :)
You just have to be prepared though, because if someone actually just isn't into it, they will likely just completely ignore you and leave you hanging. Still, sometimes it works-- like this this guy. We may be getting together later for a snow walk!

Last night the Mr called me spur-of-the-moment. I was completely surprised because he never just calls, so I thought something was wrong. No, he was thinking about me and wanted to say hi. Also, I'm a person who has To Do lists for my To Do lists, and he's a total nonplanner, so I get frustrated because I never know when I'm going to see him on the weekends. He mentioned last night that he would call tonight and we could set up our weekend plans. Progress!

Oy. So I've been dating that girl for a month, and mostly scheduled other OkCupid dates because she was still seeing someone else and I would have felt shitty if I had only been dating her. Really I get pretty easily overwhelmed if I attempt to date multiple people, I'm busy enough already! That girl is ending things with that other girl she's seeing and ideally would like me to see no one else but I was like, not ready for that, and I've got a date Thursday. I didn't really expect to have a huge giant crush on my date Thursday though! I have no idea if she's into me that way, I texted her right afterward and she said she did want to hang out again but we didn't kiss or really flirt or anything (I mean, I never ever initiate any of that sort of thing so it's possible we're both just like that), so I don't know if she's thinking friends or dating or what, but she is so cute and so smart and we had such great conversations which is something I feel like I don't get with the other girl as much. I know the first girl is going to ask me about it and stuff and be jealous and ugh I don't know.

So many options, strawberry! I haven't had luck on OKC for the ladies at all! No one ever messages me or responds to my messages, when I had a hetero account it was a bit much dealing with the deluge.

To consider the eventuality of fail... THIS is precisely my weak point :-/

(and: what? you have a date AND snow!? how cooooooooooool!!!!) :D

Eh, if you're going to get rejected you're going to get rejected, whether you ask or not. It's just that if you ask there is a chance that you're not being rejected at all (even if it sorta seems like it).

My situation is a bit weird. We had plans to have a snow walk when it snowed, then it snowed a lot sooner than we anticipated. I emailed him to say that if he wanted to take a walk sooner, because of the sooner snow, to let me know. That was two days ago, I haven't heard rom him, and the snow is melting. I want to believe him when he says he had a good time and that he wants to see me again, but his recent lack of correspondence (when we were sending several messages per day pre-meeting) is making me wonder. Perhaps he is truly really busy. But, actions speak louder than words? I don't know. I'm confused.

Congratulations! Nice is very good.

grmbl. going from endless conversations to barely a few words: I hate that. It happened to me lately and the saddest is that I will never now what exactly happened in the guy's mind: I didn´t dare to ask :P

Now, seriously: according to what you say he actually is busy. Besides, it would make sense that he would not be able to change his Schedule because of the weather, I guess?

In theory, yea. But we are both freelancers, working from home. There is a lot o flexibility. When I first asked him he said it would be nice to slip away from work for a bit. I know he is sincerely busy... but too busy for a quick "sorry I can't slip away or this snowstorm!" email? My hopes aren't high.

Would you be comfortable being with someone jealous? I'd imagine that wouldn't be fun. It seems to smack of insecurity and controlling behavior...

Theory seems so great. I wish I lived there.

I think jealousy is pretty natural? I for sure get jealous when people I like are dating other people--I was jealous when this girl was seeing someone else. I think the important thing is how people deal with it. This girl is pretty honest with her feelings, which is nice. I know she isn't mad that I went on a date or anything. I imagine that she'll tell me she has feelings of jealousy, since she's said that sort of thing before, but it's kind of more of a "let's check in about feelings" type thing, which we've definitely been doing plenty especially with the situation with her and the other girl...

Why don't you keep dating this new-date-girl, and when month-girl asks about being monogamous just be (fairly) honest... something like: "I want to take things slow, I've rushed into things too quickly before and they ended badly, so I don't think I'm ready yet". You shouldn't have to be at a place I don't think after a month where you have to tell her when and who you are dating I don't think, as long as you're honest that you're not ready to close it. I think telling her when the dates are sounds like too much info, and will just lead to hurt feelings.

Whoo! Congrats Erika! So nice to hear how happy you are!

I'm happy to report that I'm still stupidly happy with my online dating guy. We've hit a couple of bumps on the road, we have very different approaches to life, but we constantly remain respectful and keep ending up meeting in the middle. We absolutely adore each other and both think that there's a pretty good chance this is for good. It was worth the journey of eejits to find this man. Yaayy for online dating (and being too stubborn to give up!)!!

Yeah, I think you're right. I actually first said I had a date Thursday before she said she was ending things with the other girl she was seeing, mostly because I wanted her to know I had other prospects too, which is maybe kind of a game but whatever.

Two (slightly weird and platonic feeling?) dates with super cute girl who makes me feel swoony and silly. It's been fun but I'm worried it's not going to work out for physical chemistry/awkwardness reasons, mostly my fault probably.

But it's been fun! Which is a dramatic departure from all other dating experiences I've had. So woo!

You know, this is all fun and games until someone actually wants to meet you in person. I've agreed, but now I'm freaking out. I might have jumped into this way too soon and for the wrong reasons. fork.

Yeah, that wrong reasons thing's been happening to me ever since my breakup, I think. But people have needs... :/ actually one guy I met right away and got super invested in, that wasn't a smart move right away at that time, I really wasn't ready. We're like best friends now, and I'm so happy to have him in my life. So with that I say, meet up, but be honest to both the date and yourself.

Whelllll... The guy I had planned a hookup for tonight with texted me while I was at the place were suppose to meet saying he's so sorry but he's going to to be really late, like maybe longer than a half hour. I say well I'd wait a half hour but let me know if it's going to be much longer than that and maybe I'd leave and come back later, yeah it's now up in the air if or when he'll be able to meet. So I was basically stood up! Lame! If he does get back to me that he's there I'm not even too sure I'd want to now, but am slutty enough I probably would.

Hell yes on both accounts! You ladies give me a bit of hope in this crazy world of out-of-towners looking for local yoni.

Congrats Erika and Fezza!!!

Well I ended up getting what I was lookin for! Oh Internet. How easy you make it to be a slut!

It was lots of fun and his body was really nice, but I was a little bummed his face just kinda... Well I wasn't that attracted to him. He kept saying we should do that again soon and I probably will but If I'm going to have a multiple-time thing with people I'd hope I was attracted to them. Darn.

Aw, gosh, I'm so happy for both of yous.

I'm starting to get sort of burned out on the online dating thing. It doesn't seem like there are all that many people in my area who are my age and good matches, and I'm just...eh. :( :(

Ugh. So, I'm pretty sure I am being blown off, despite point blank asking him whether I was being blown off or if he was just busy with a project we had talked about (and ensuring him that either way was okay and that I just wanted to know) and he said he was just busy. I haven't heard from him since the middle of last week (despite tentative snow-walk plans). Last week I also sent him a FB friend request, along with a short message. FB tells me that he read the message last week, shortly after I friend-requested him, but he didn't respond or accept the request.

It's all a bit confusing, because my interpretation of the date was that it was fun for both of us. But I don't even care about that. He's entitled to not want to see me again. What peas me off is that I gave him an easy way to be honest with me, and instead he chose to be a jerk.

UGH.