Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Aww TC, I'm sorry. It sucks so much when people do that, especially when you give them an opportunity to back out without being a jackass.

Seriously. I feel like I'm asking too much to expect grown dudes to act like adults.

Why can't I just marry one of my cats?!
(for the record, if I had to choose either of my cats to marry, I'd marry Pippi)

i really like how straight-forward this commentary was. i think it seems that you know what you're doing and part of that includes getting what you wanted, so more power to you! hope you find someone you're more physically attracted to in the future.

a similar thing happened to me recently-- really nice guy, but his body type was all wrong for me. it was a little sad, but i thought it'd be better for me to end it earlier than later.

i've agreed to be exclusive with the guy i'm seeing at present, but i'm a little confused about the whole thing... he's good at communication in person, but not so much over the phone. we're supposedly doing something for NYE, so i guess i'll talk to him them.

Ugh, takecare. Sorry that happened to you. I think people who do stuff like that really think they're sparing the feelings of the person they're stringing along, but in reality, it's not like it hurts any less getting rejected this way than just being told outright. It's really cowardice on their part.

One thing that someone once said to me while I was doing internet dating that really helped me to deal with situations like that is that "mixed messages really mean no". When I realized that, I was able to cut my losses and move on when someone was being ambiguous. If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way of letting you know. Unambiguously.

Yes, I know, that sounds like I'm discounting shy or socially awkward folks, but in my experience, even the shy folks find some way of letting you know how they really feel. If someone is being vague or making excuses ("I'm really busy" instead of "I'm really busy, but would really love to see you again. Can we meet for coffee next week?") it's time to move on.

This! If some postpones and really wants to see you again they should offer an alternative, otherwise their either not interested or don't have much in the way of consideration/effort/manners.

That's SO TRUE. And, the pathetic part is that I have already learned that lesson like a million times. It just won't stick.

PPK, I have found THE dating site for us:

(More bizarre dating sites here)

so the last time i saw the guy i was seeing was a sleepover and a you-can-show-yourself-out in the morning.... haven't heard from him since! and he'd asked ME to do something w/ him for new year's!! i sure can pick 'em, huh? ugh. i feel so stupid and taken advantage of!!!

Definitely. Especially when we're talking about texts or e-mails, where shyness doesn't really come into play.


That really sucks. Sorry.

You're not the only one, and after all I think that trying to trust people, give them a chance, etc is just normal, it's just a risk we have to take unless we want to give up any hope on human kind (wich is what I'm doing. but whatever)

Oh no, trust me, it does. Sometimes it even makes everything worse

Fair enough :). Maybe it's just easier for my specific type of shyness.

Oh, I'm sorry. This sucks :(

Actually I'm like a 1000000000x better at writing than speaking, but what scares me is the scripta manent thing (what if I regret what I've said, what if they have it read by someone else, etc...)
(which makes me realize: I can barely communicate at all :P)

(hum, Does anyone have the same problem or am I a case for psychiatry?) :D

i have a similar problem. i get anxious about writing too much or too little or i worry that i'm going to word it in such a way that accidentally offends someone.

i left the guy a voice mail this morning just saying that i thought he handled things really poorly, that i'd thought he was better than that, and his actions really hurt my feelings. for heavens sakes the dude is a therapist, he should know how his actions can effect people!

i gave vegan boy a call today and we had a good chat... i dunno... i gotta figure stuff out...

UGH. OKC keeps showing me these super gorgeous people with really excellent swoony profiles...who live like 50 miles away. WHY.

Oh man, this super adorable hot dude from Vancouver BC messaged me today saying we should go on a date before Saturday when he leaves Portland! I JUST came down with this shiitake cold today, not sure when it'll go away and my parents are coming in town Thursday night, they'll be here Friday and Sat! Dang Nabbit! I might try to power through this cold, maybe I'll be fine thursday before my fam gets here? :P

i dunno, maybe you could make it into a weekend thing. find a restaurant or some shopping you'd like to do that's in that area so you can do stuff on your own, then go on a date. i live really far away from a city and this is what i do.
EDA: i mean, they're probably looking at your profile and thinking, "oh man, she's so swoony!! but she lives 50mi away!! she'd never agree to it..." why not make the incentive?

apparently today at 8.52 pm is usually the most busy time of they year on online dating sites! I'm gonna log on just to see! haha.

Does anyone use a prepaid/disposable cell just for contacting people you meet online dating? I'm thinking about getting one just for that purpose because I don't want to give out my real number.

just dont give out your number, i don't exchange numbers until i meet in real life

I'm kind of thinking about it. The only guy I successfully dated from OKC was kind of a ways away but not that far.

Huh, that's funny. Every online thing I've ever done we've both exchanged numbers before hand.

i've had people who wouldn't stop texting /calling me so i don't do it anymore. plus it ensures the person to be punctual, tardiness is a pet peeve of mine.

Yeah, that's why I don't want to give out my number. One guy called or texted me every day almost every day after our one and only date, along with emailing me, for a few weeks after our meeting. I ended up changing my number, not entirely because of him but it was a factor.

I got a $10 prepaid phone today and am going to purchase 200 texts for $5 a month, which I think is worth it for peace of mind. This whole thing came up because a guy gave me his number to set up a date for this weekend.