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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:50 pm 
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Just drop in a "so, hey, i'm crushing on you. is it mutual, or are we just friends?"

That's what I do in situations like that. But, then again, I"m single, so take that with a grain of salt.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:52 pm 
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I can't say that because I'll die.

I mean I did kind of do that recently with someone and liveblogged it in the crush thread but I felt more comfortable with them...

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:58 pm 
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Can we use this thread for non-internetz relationship stuff? I need advice but I'd rather it get buried quickly in several other pages of stuff. I want to break up with my partner, but how? The thing is, I don't think they're that into it anymore either. I feel like I'm always the one to text or call when we see each other. When the problems first became obvious, I was blaming it on stress from school/upcoming finals (we've been together 7 months, problems started in mid/late October). but finals are over now and they still don't seem any happier to see me. So I don't think they'd be devastated but what do I say?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:02 pm 
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joyful - Are you interested in the relationship ? I mean if the other party was more enthusiastic, would you want it to continue?

If the answer is no, have a discussion with them and say 'hey, I just don't think our relationship is working out, you are a great person, blah blah blah', you know?

If the answer is yes, you might try to have a discussion with them about what they think of the relationship and your concerns.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:36 pm 
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Thank linanil, it's pretty much a no at this point. Maybe I'd be okay with continuing through the end of the month, but definitely not for the next semester.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:39 pm 
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Joyfulgirl- I think we need a relationship advice thread or somesuch, you should make one! Even if this started here anyway...

ETA but then it might be obviously yours. So maybe I'll start it?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:58 pm 
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Yeah I thought about starting a new thread, but I figured its better here because it'll quickly get buried. Especially since they know about the ppk and my username.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:03 pm 
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aha. Well I'd say good luck to you. I know it is tough. Ending a relationship is never fun.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:58 pm 
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lycophyte-- i'm so glad to hear that you're taking your own time with the relationship you're in and not performing on someone else's time frame. and bc she's been patient with you, i think that's a great sign. call it what you're comfortable with for now and if the "girlfriend" feeling changes (or doesn't) for you, meet the idea when it comes along just like you have w/ everything else.

strawberryrock-- i really think being able to talk w/ the people you're dating about the emotions you're having/ feeling for them is just one of those things that take a lot of practice... and then a little more practice. it's different every time bc every person you date and have interactions w/ will be different so it'll come with new challenges. but i really do think that the more you share those feelings, the easier it'll get, and-- most importantly-- the better off you'll be.

(i hope this post doesn't come off as preachy. i think i'd just like to live vicariously through all of y'alls relationships at this point)


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:10 pm 
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joyfulgirl wrote:
Can we use this thread for non-internetz relationship stuff? I need advice but I'd rather it get buried quickly in several other pages of stuff. I want to break up with my partner, but how? The thing is, I don't think they're that into it anymore either. I feel like I'm always the one to text or call when we see each other. When the problems first became obvious, I was blaming it on stress from school/upcoming finals (we've been together 7 months, problems started in mid/late October). but finals are over now and they still don't seem any happier to see me. So I don't think they'd be devastated but what do I say?


I once had to break up with a fiance who had spent 4 weeks dodging me. I say just do it. "Hey, it doesn't seem like either of us is really into this any more, so let's just officially end things." Me ex proceeded to try and explain that no blahblahblah but the truth is at that point I was over it. He just didn't want to not have a GF, because everyone at his job thought he was gay (he wasn't).

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:02 pm 
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chouettes crêpes wrote:
lycophyte-- i'm so glad to hear that you're taking your own time with the relationship you're in and not performing on someone else's time frame. and bc she's been patient with you, i think that's a great sign. call it what you're comfortable with for now and if the "girlfriend" feeling changes (or doesn't) for you, meet the idea when it comes along just like you have w/ everything else.



I actually called her "my girlfriend" whilst out with Johnp today! Eeee! Big step! But she is super awesome and patient so yeah, it does make me quite happy :)





Joyful- Yeah it sounds like neither of you are reallly into it right now and maybe ending it before they go super sour stinky instead of just expired is probably a good idea. I started the thread so that someday, it will be a place that will get buried like this one!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:57 pm 
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joyfulgirl wrote:
Can we use this thread for non-internetz relationship stuff? I need advice but I'd rather it get buried quickly in several other pages of stuff. I want to break up with my partner, but how? The thing is, I don't think they're that into it anymore either. I feel like I'm always the one to text or call when we see each other. When the problems first became obvious, I was blaming it on stress from school/upcoming finals (we've been together 7 months, problems started in mid/late October). but finals are over now and they still don't seem any happier to see me. So I don't think they'd be devastated but what do I say?

I'd call them up and say I'm not happy in the relationship any more and it's over. There's no good way to end it, so just be short, to the point and stick to it. If you're not happy no point in hanging around. You can be nice but I think it's good to be real blunt and non-negotiable.

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:09 am 
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Tofulish wrote:
He just didn't want to not have a GF


typical... I hate that.
("I want to be with a girl! any girl!" >>> YOU are any girl. cooool.)

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:33 pm 
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Thanks everyone. We're going to talk about this tonight. Wish me courage to actually bring it up!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:14 am 
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Wow, some people misrepresent themselves. I went out for coffee with a guy I met on OKC, he was nice but he left out some really important information about himself that I only found out when I met him and it's a dealbreaker.


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:16 am 
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Way to leave us hanging! What is it?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:57 am 
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Mars wrote:
Way to leave us hanging! What is it?


Seriously!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:03 am 
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He has a kid? He's got 3 extra eyeballs? He likes peas? what is it?

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:56 am 
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He's married? He prefers dogs to cats?

Seriously, fess up!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:20 pm 
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I keep checking this thread to see if bluestars has updated - I'm on tenterhooks here!!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:53 pm 
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Seriously. It's like the "To Be Continued" at the end of a season!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:09 pm 
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cliff hanger!


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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:17 pm 
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I can't handle the suspense, spill!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:22 pm 
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Spill them beans!

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 Post subject: Re: online dating (how r u 2day qt?)
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:59 pm 
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Guys, woah, something sitcommy has happened.
So I've been actually taking OKC semi-seriously lately and made plans to meet two different people this week. They're both from the same city and mentioned they live with all vegetarian roommates and I was like, "Wouldn't it be funny if..." and then cut myself off because really, what are the chances?
Well, one of them invited me to a show at his house last night, and, yep, they're roommates.
They both figured it out too, so at least all the awkward is out in the open.

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