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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:27 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Kelly wrote:
Big kids at little kid playgrounds is Shae's biggest pet peeve as well. He becomes playground safety monitor the second we hit one of those places and kids just fold and obey. And the super awesome part is that Shae doesn't feel that parent-guilt that we feel about asking other peoples kids to calm down. He is super nice about it, but takes no crepe.

Moral of the story: sorry I can't let you guys borrow Shae for these occasions.


Oh, but we did have one instance when Silas was 18 months old in Disney World and another kid was kicking Silas at the top of a huge play structure. Shae was up there with him and the kid wouldn't stop, so Shae stood up and yelled "WHO'S KID IS THIS? HE NEEDS TO STOP KICKING MY BABY BROTHER RIGHT NOW." So, they don't always listen to him.


I freaking love Shae. That is one awesome kid.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:53 pm 
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Aubade, if it were just the trains and the first time you had concerns, I might say give the guy another chance.. but it's not the first time you've had concerns about his attentiveness. Sounds like it might be a good time for you to find a different care provider.

Sorry Kai's toys got wrecked. That train stuff is expensive!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:32 pm 
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Aubade, I am interested to see what the babysitter says. That is insane! (and I've worked as a babysitter nanny since I was like 11).

I thought of this thread today at the playground as my 13 month old is about to cross the (designed for maybe 3-6 year old) suspension bridge when a group of preteens descend upon it and starting bouncing as if they're on the high seas. Later, one of them kicked a little girl off the swing by intimidating her. The mom stood up for the little girl and he told the mom to be careful when she was walking or he might hit her in the head (with his feet). This idget's mom must be so proud.

We are having so much fun here these days, but Freya is sleeping worse and worse.....I vent to her quietly occasionally, but she doesn't seem to understand "please, for the love of God". Oi.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:22 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I feel like the only person who doesn't keep my kid out of the public when she is sick! We were invited to a playdate on Friday with some of our friends (not my Mom's group), and I was so looking forward to it. But then one parent posted that their kid was really sick and the host posted that her kid was really sick too, so just bring her, and that way they can all be sick together! If I hadn't been copied on all the correspondence I doubt the host would have told me ahead of time.

And today, Leela was stealing someone else's sippy, when the mom said "Oh she has a really bad case of explosive diarrhea, so you may not want her to share the sippy." So then I spent the rest of the playdate running interference between my kid and this damned sippy.

I. Just. Can't. Even. I don't want my kid getting sick, but I don't really want to be a hermit either. And Leela is terrible with stealing food and sippycups.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:51 pm 
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Refinnej, he said in an email this afternoon that the tree was because Kai's play tent was near it, which I don't get because wouldn't you just move it when you saw it was wrecking the tree?

He said he didn't even notice Kai's new craft desk where the art supplies were until "his 2nd pass at cleaning", and that he tried to let them free play together instead of with him. Which is crazy to me, I mean how did he not notice that there was an entirely new desk in plain view of the couch and how long was he letting them "free play together" with apparently absolutely no idea what they were doing?

He didn't apologize in the email either.

Ultimately i didn't even say anything to him about it when I picked Kai up today. As far as I'm concerned the excuses he made are utterly inadequate and no amount of me saying, "please watch them more closely" is going to change things. I called Rainbow Academy today and put Kai on a waiting list to start there when their next spot opens in March.

I feel really bad about splitting Kai up from his little friend, and putting him in a new daycare when we're trying to sell the house in the spring, so he may get changed again in a short time. But this situation has been a long time coming and I just don't feel OK leaving him in this guys care who is clearly just letting them run wild all day.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:13 pm 
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I put a deposit down on Kai's spot in the new daycare yesterday evening. Now that things are sorted out I feel like I was too harsh. Just want to add that the babysitter's wife is due to have her new baby in April anyway, so really this works out perfectly. The daycare is having an open house next week too, so I'm sure this spot would have been taken and we would have been screwed like we were 2 years ago when we originally tried to enroll him and there were no spots. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise this christmas fiasco made me call earlier than I would have.

We're going to sit them down over dinner and discuss the whole transition. I'm glad it will be nearly 2 months notice for them, and I won't really have to say anything about our different standards of care because really it was going to happen with the new pregnancy anyway. I hope this way we can preserve our 10 year friendship and the kids will stay friends too. I mean really, he isn't a bad guy - we just have different standards. It would come as a surprise to no one who knows me that I have high standards lol!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:59 pm 
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If you're going to be selling your house in the spring you might have to keep it really clean for a while for viewings on short notice, plus it sounds like it's good timing with the new baby anyway. From what you've posted before this isn't a one time incident--I don't think you're being harsh. Honestly I know there's a big difference between a once in a while thing and an everyday care situation, but whenever I've hired a sitter I've felt like they are much BETTER than I am at keeping things neat and non-chaotic. I mean, they're professionals, right?

Kai will make new friends. Expanding out horizons is part of life!!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:11 pm 
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Preserving the friendship is good, especially for Kai, but no way were you too harsh. Really, there is no call for that.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:16 pm 
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I'm a super lenient person and I don't think you were too harsh at all. If he had apologized and had some remorse or explanation or something, it would be different.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 5:12 pm 
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Semen Strong
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I think its great that you're going to be able to get Kai into a good situation and preserve your friendship. Its important to know your own parameters and to not stay in a bad situation that would really undermine the friendship. The guy was a good babysitter for a long time, the kids played well together, he always got Kai to eat a healthy meal, and those are good positives to dwell on. I'd focus the positives of the new situation - it lets Kai socialize and frees your friend up to be home with his new baby. Win-win for all!

But like everyone says, I wouldn't attribute it to having standards that are too high - I think its normal to want to come home and be able to relax or cook dinner etc without having to clean up the mess left by your caregiver and property damage isn't cool :)

Out of curiosity would Kai care if his toys are scribbled up or would he no longer want to play with them?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:47 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Every SINGLE toddler playspace at our local malls is like that. There is a huge sign showing how tall kids need to be to enter, and its still full of kids that are huge and run around knocking the toddlers over and pushing them off the structures. I totally get that if you have a toddler and an older kid, you can't really ask your older kid not to play, but maybe you could encourage them to be gentle?


I dunno dude, when I got too big to play in the toddler playspace, I was not allowed to play in there anymore, and my younger siblings were. If we went somewhere that there would be a playspace, I could bring a book, I could bring something else to play with, but I was expected to "act like a big kid" while the little kids got their playspace time. Not being allowed to go in those places anymore was just...part of growing up. I'm not saying parents who let their big kids play in there are "wrong", but just...it is something a parent could make a rule about and not scar their child for life or anything!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 9:30 am 
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Well thanks, I feel a better than that I'm not too harsh. :-)

Tofulish wrote:
Out of curiosity would Kai care if his toys are scribbled up or would he no longer want to play with them?


Luckily, no, he doesn't seem to care. I think it probably was him who did it, because he usually does go for this one blue marker shaped like a dog, and that's the color it is in. So at least for now I think he admires his artwork on the rails. I read that kids usually stick with this train phase until they're about 5 though, so it kind of upsets me most that we're stuck with the artwork for a couple more years.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:10 am 
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Have you tried a Magic Eraser on it?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:26 am 
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Well normallly it washes right off, but the problem is these tracks are untreated wood and it soaked the ink right up into the grain. So soap and water gets a little off, but mostly smears it around and makes it a lighter blue on the top layer with a darker line soaked in. I do have a magic eraser though, so I might as well give it a shot.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:38 am 
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Maybe when the artwork gets old, you guys can paint them all cute?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:56 am 
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If Kai's not too oral, you could also try acetone/nail polish remover. This got off some marker stains from a wood table for me before. Never tried it on wood, but cheap-ass Aqua Net sorta hairspray gets out ink sometimes.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:19 pm 
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The Emperor: chill the fork out dude. The running jumping shouting starting at 5:30 am is not cool.

The Magician: I get it, you are getting teeth. But if you keep grinding said teeth on me all night long and waking me up by seriously biting me, I will night wean you. Believe me.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:06 am 
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Do you remember my rant last month about kids bringing toys to public places and refusing to share? We ran into the same kid and his mother today at the library, and without going into detail, the same thing happened, except it was more blatant and meaner. And when I stood up for my kid ("You left your truck on the table and you are playing with something else right now. Could we look at your truck for just a minute, please?"), his mother, again, said he didn't have to share if he didn't feel like it. Holy crepe. At least now I know to avoid these people whenever we see them around town.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:40 pm 
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Mitten, my response to that kind of thing would be to say "Sometimes people choose not to share. We're nice and always share our toys.", a smile to the mom and a super quick redirection away.

Sucks when people are jerks, but that isn't going to change so we may as well teach our kids to deal with it now.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:49 pm 
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Kelly, I love you. I wish you lived near us.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:27 pm 
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Kelly wrote:
Mitten, my response to that kind of thing would be to say "Sometimes people choose not to share. We're nice and always share our toys.", a smile to the mom and a super quick redirection away.

Sucks when people are jerks, but that isn't going to change so we may as well teach our kids to deal with it now.


Kelly, you are always so calm and collected in these situations. In the moment, I actually thought to myself "What would Kelly say?" I feel a little weird admitting that. I said something like, "He isn't going to share today, but we can go home and play with our trucks," which isn't quite as good, and then picked sobbing Walter up and headed out while he screamed "Truuuuuuck!"

But you're right, I can't shield him entirely from jerks, so I'd better teach him how to deal.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:34 pm 
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Mitten, I am so sorry that people are jerks to Walter. He is the cutest little guy! He can play with our trucks any day!

Also, I want an app called "Kelly's Pedagogically Useful and Passive Aggressive Mom Shaming Response Generator." <3 <3 <3 I used a variation of your response the other day when L was trying to steal someone's snacks. And I totally tipped my mental hat to you.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:50 pm 
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Heh. It's hard to keep your cool in these situations. I might've been tempted to talk about possession being 9/10ths of the law and that perhaps *Walter* didn't want to share.

Seriously, this kid is on the fast track to bratsville.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:21 pm 
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Thanks Mitten and Tofulish! You guys are the best <3

I think it's just a lot easier for me to deal with this stuff this time around because I've been through it already and realizing I didn't ruin Shae too badly definitely gives me the confidence to continue with my instincts. I just don't have the energy to get pissed off every time someone is a jerk to or around us anymore.

Annndddd maybe I'll text a stream of expletives describing the situation to my husband afterwards, so that's my outlet for that.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:04 pm 
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The funny thing (well to me) is that despite having never met him, I can TOTALLY picture the expression on Walter's face when the kid/mom pulled this crepe.


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