online dating (how r u 2day qt?)

lycophyte · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:39 pm

Joyfulgirl- I think we need a relationship advice thread or somesuch, you should make one! Even if this started here anyway...

ETA but then it might be obviously yours. So maybe I'll start it?

joyfulgirl · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:58 pm

Yeah I thought about starting a new thread, but I figured its better here because it'll quickly get buried. Especially since they know about the ppk and my username.

linanil · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:03 pm

aha. Well I'd say good luck to you. I know it is tough. Ending a relationship is never fun.

chouettes crêpes · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:58 pm

lycophyte-- i'm so glad to hear that you're taking your own time with the relationship you're in and not performing on someone else's time frame. and bc she's been patient with you, i think that's a great sign. call it what you're comfortable with for now and if the "girlfriend" feeling changes (or doesn't) for you, meet the idea when it comes along just like you have w/ everything else.

strawberryrock-- i really think being able to talk w/ the people you're dating about the emotions you're having/ feeling for them is just one of those things that take a lot of practice... and then a little more practice. it's different every time bc every person you date and have interactions w/ will be different so it'll come with new challenges. but i really do think that the more you share those feelings, the easier it'll get, and-- most importantly-- the better off you'll be.

(i hope this post doesn't come off as preachy. i think i'd just like to live vicariously through all of y'alls relationships at this point)

Tofulish · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:10 pm

joyfulgirl wrote:

Can we use this thread for non-internetz relationship stuff? I need advice but I'd rather it get buried quickly in several other pages of stuff. I want to break up with my partner, but how? The thing is, I don't think they're that into it anymore either. I feel like I'm always the one to text or call when we see each other. When the problems first became obvious, I was blaming it on stress from school/upcoming finals (we've been together 7 months, problems started in mid/late October). but finals are over now and they still don't seem any happier to see me. So I don't think they'd be devastated but what do I say?

I once had to break up with a fiance who had spent 4 weeks dodging me. I say just do it. "Hey, it doesn't seem like either of us is really into this any more, so let's just officially end things." Me ex proceeded to try and explain that no blahblahblah but the truth is at that point I was over it. He just didn't want to not have a GF, because everyone at his job thought he was gay (he wasn't).

lycophyte · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:02 pm

chouettes crêpes wrote:

lycophyte-- i'm so glad to hear that you're taking your own time with the relationship you're in and not performing on someone else's time frame. and bc she's been patient with you, i think that's a great sign. call it what you're comfortable with for now and if the "girlfriend" feeling changes (or doesn't) for you, meet the idea when it comes along just like you have w/ everything else.

I actually called her "my girlfriend" whilst out with Johnp today! Eeee! Big step! But she is super awesome and patient so yeah, it does make me quite happy :)

Joyful- Yeah it sounds like neither of you are reallly into it right now and maybe ending it before they go super sour stinky instead of just expired is probably a good idea. I started the thread so that someday, it will be a place that will get buried like this one!

pandacookie · **Posted:** Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:57 pm

joyfulgirl wrote:

Can we use this thread for non-internetz relationship stuff? I need advice but I'd rather it get buried quickly in several other pages of stuff. I want to break up with my partner, but how? The thing is, I don't think they're that into it anymore either. I feel like I'm always the one to text or call when we see each other. When the problems first became obvious, I was blaming it on stress from school/upcoming finals (we've been together 7 months, problems started in mid/late October). but finals are over now and they still don't seem any happier to see me. So I don't think they'd be devastated but what do I say?

I'd call them up and say I'm not happy in the relationship any more and it's over. There's no good way to end it, so just be short, to the point and stick to it. If you're not happy no point in hanging around. You can be nice but I think it's good to be real blunt and non-negotiable.

Emilie · **Posted:** Sat Jan 05, 2013 10:09 am

Tofulish wrote:

He just didn't want to not have a GF

typical... I hate that.
("I want to be with a girl! any girl!" >>> YOU are any girl. cooool.)

joyfulgirl · **Posted:** Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:33 pm

Thanks everyone. We're going to talk about this tonight. Wish me courage to actually bring it up!

bluestars · **Joined:** Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:10 am **Posts:** 42

Wow, some people misrepresent themselves. I went out for coffee with a guy I met on OKC, he was nice but he left out some really important information about himself that I only found out when I met him and it's a dealbreaker.

Mars · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:16 am

Way to leave us hanging! What is it?

fezza · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:17 pm **Posts:** 5324

Mars wrote:

Way to leave us hanging! What is it?

Seriously!

joyfulgirl · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:03 am

He has a kid? He's got 3 extra eyeballs? He likes peas? what is it?

takecare · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:56 am

He's married? He prefers dogs to cats?

Seriously, fess up!

jogirl · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:20 pm

I keep checking this thread to see if bluestars has updated - I'm on tenterhooks here!!

ScooterDiva · **Joined:** Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:46 pm **Posts:** 2053

Seriously. It's like the "To Be Continued" at the end of a season!

fupapack · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:09 pm

cliff hanger!

jojo · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:17 pm

I can't handle the suspense, spill!

kilgore trout · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:22 pm

Spill them beans!

kilgore trout · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:59 pm

Guys, woah, something sitcommy has happened.
So I've been actually taking OKC semi-seriously lately and made plans to meet two different people this week. They're both from the same city and mentioned they live with all vegetarian roommates and I was like, "Wouldn't it be funny if..." and then cut myself off because really, what are the chances?
Well, one of them invited me to a show at his house last night, and, yep, they're roommates.
They both figured it out too, so at least all the awkward is out in the open.

j-dub · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 2:04 pm

kilgore trout wrote:

Guys, woah, something sitcommy has happened.
So I've been actually taking OKC semi-seriously lately and made plans to meet two different people this week. They're both from the same city and mentioned they live with all vegetarian roommates and I was like, "Wouldn't it be funny if..." and then cut myself off because really, what are the chances?
Well, one of them invited me to a show at his house last night, and, yep, they're roommates.
They both figured it out too, so at least all the awkward is out in the open.

I had that happen once but they were non-monogamously dating each other...I chose not to pursue it.

chouettes crêpes · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:05 pm

^^^ i think blue stars is dating one of those guys and that was the deal breaker. she couldn't share w/ kilgore!

i talked to vegan boy again early last week and boring story even more boring, we've opened things back up and we ended up having a really good time together this weekend! i'm pretty happy about it! we're taking things slow. i think i'm making a good choice here and i'm pretty proud of myself for it.

granolapocalypse · **Joined:** Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:19 pm **Posts:** 251

So nearly having a panic attack on a date, that's a great first impression, right?

fupapack · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 6:22 pm

Remember the guy who harassed me online, I just saw him at the mall with poly girlfriend!!!

kilgore trout · **Posted:** Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:41 pm

chouettes crêpes wrote:

^^^ i think blue stars is dating one of those guys and that was the deal breaker. she couldn't share w/ kilgore!

What a twist!

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