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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:42 pm 
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annak wrote:
The funny thing (well to me) is that despite having never met him, I can TOTALLY picture the expression on Walter's face when the kid/mom pulled this crepe.


Panic/devastation/disbelief.

But then he saw a water fountain by the door, and decided life was worth living.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 8:53 am 
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Nanny vent: my sweet two year old friend broke my glasses yesterday. It was a long day for several reasons so I started crying (a little embarrassing) and the little turkey started laughing. To be fair I am an ugly crier, and I shouldn't have let him pick up my glasses in the first place, but man alive. Pretty cold there little guy!

The toy thing has happened to us too. Kid's section of the library has a few toys so I didn't think much of Baby Turkey picking up a stuffed animal that was sitting unattended, several feet from anyone. The girl that came running to snatch them up was so snotty! And then the next time, there was a transformer toy Baby Turkey was playing with, and he couldn't get it to transform back into a car and neither could I, so he approaches an older boy to help him. It was soo sweet, and a big step for him as he's shy with strangers and slightly afraid of other kids (which is why we've been making a point to interact with people more), and this boy (maybe 4 years old) basically said "Ewww get away from me!", which I suppose he's allowed to do but I was sad that his interactions there haven't been more friendly.

But then yesterday at the playground this other 4ish year old sweetly pushed him on the swings, let Baby Turkey follow him around without complaining and even steadied him when he stumbled! Oh my god it was too cute.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:15 am 
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Oh that is adorable (the 4 year old helping the little one)!

Sorry about your glassed - L is obsessed with mine and they have broken while under her care and control.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:03 pm 
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Grey is a great eater and eats really healthy the majority of the time, so I let him have cookies and stuff sometimes. Anyway, the other day we were at the mountain bike bar in town, it's a very family friendly atmosphere, they have beer, brats (vegan ones too!), games, baby toys, play mats, etc. so I got a soft pretzel to share with grey. He loves ketchup, so of course I let him have some. I mentioned to a friend that he likes it and she said, "of course he does, it has so much sugar". She then went onto say, "oh grey, have some water, you must be thirsty from all that sugar". So annoying.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:07 pm 
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Ugh,littlebear. Not cool at all.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:20 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Barf. Best thing having a kid taught me was to judge less.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 5:59 pm 
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littlebear wrote:
I mentioned to some crasshole I used to be friends with that he likes it


Fixed!






(joking. But only a little.)

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:37 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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What a buzzkill!! That does, however, sound like an awesome place - Imma need directions if we get back to the bay area.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:55 pm 
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Yeah, I had decided a few months ago I didn't want to be friends with her and then decided to give her another chance. Shoulda listened to my gut!

Annak, it's pretty great, there is also an awesome park for kids around the corner and someday a vegan diner is going to open across the street! They used to (maybe still do) have a movie night for kids once a week in the summer!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:19 am 
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Am I the only one who thinks it's weird to leave your toy unattended in a public place? My kids don't usually bring toys with them, but on the rare occasions they have a toy with them (like the one time Raygold positively begged me to buy him a plastic duck from a charity shop -- my kids NEVER ask for toys and he was crying, he wanted it so badly, so I got it and then I let Beetroot pick something out and he got a wee monster truck), they wouldn't let it out of their sight. Mind you, if anyone else came over to see their toys, they would totally share, or, at least be very friendly, because they love other kids.

Also,
littlebear wrote:
Grey is a great eater and eats really healthy the majority of the time, so I let him have cookies and stuff sometimes. Anyway, the other day we were at the mountain bike bar in town, it's a very family friendly atmosphere, they have beer, brats (vegan ones too!), games, baby toys, play mats, etc. so I got a soft pretzel to share with grey. He loves ketchup, so of course I let him have some. I mentioned to a friend that he likes it and she said, "of course he does, it has so much sugar". She then went onto say, "oh grey, have some water, you must be thirsty from all that sugar". So annoying.

OMG, what a bisque! This reminds me of a lovely mom, who posted a picture of her (incredibly beautiful, although that's neither here nor there) 5 yo son eating french fries. She received so much horrible flack for it, it was awful. This is a mom who usually feeds her kids organic and very healthy food, but they were having a day out and thought fries and a burger from this cute diner would be fun.
Which I totally understand because my kids eat really well at home, but when we go out grocery shopping, which is an all-day affair for us since we live so far away from the shops, they have beans and chips (fries) at the grocery store cafe. Nobody has given us flack, thank goodness, but

refinnej wrote:
Barf. Best thing having a kid taught me was to judge less.

Me, too!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:36 am 
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Nooch of Earl
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Hahaha I fed Violet sweet potato fries last night, here at home. I'm mother of the year.

(No seriously I give her some of this stuff routinely. My main goal right now is to produce a daughter who likes variety and is willing to try new things. I figure the rest will take care of itself. And if I'm eating a bagel or a pretzel roll, isn't it hypocritical not to share a little bit? I usually figure the times where I'm tempted not to share are learning opportunities - if I don't want my daughter to have it why am I shovelling it into my own body?)

Also I'm lucky that I seem to have friends who are awesome, because nobody's ever said squat to me. The pediatrician tells me to give Vi MORE fats because she's a beanpole.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 12:53 pm 
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^ yeah, what annak said. I think E has made me improve some of my dietary habits because I really can't justify eating things I wouldn't give him. (Beyond, you know, coffee and wine.) He probably also has had some things that would horrify some of the parents in circles we run in, but oh well. At the end of the day, my goal's to make sure he understands about eating a well-rounded diet, having treats in moderation, etc. I'm not trying to convince him that the only cookies he should ever eat are oil free sugar free carob coated fun lumps... That's not how i live my life so why would I wish that on him?

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 1:34 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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So I was at the vet yesterday, and though he was was otherwise fantastic and really good with kids and has a baby V's age, kept going on about "oh women don't like these, when they get to a certain age all women hate these" when she was looking at the pet scale. I pursed my lips but was all SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

I am trying to raise Violet to be happy with who she is and look at her body more for what it does than what it is, and these messages just come at you from all corners.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:01 pm 
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Ugh, I hate that kind of stuff so much. I'm sure everyone in my partner's family is currently enjoying gossiping about what a horrible jerk I am because the only thing the women in the family EVER talk about is the diet they're currently on, and I recently made an official request that no one discuss their diet or make negative comments about their body in front of my daughter. I'm sure that will be impossible for them, but at least I made my position known!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:31 pm 
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mooo wrote:
Ugh, I hate that kind of stuff so much. I'm sure everyone in my partner's family is currently enjoying gossiping about what a horrible jerk I am because the only thing the women in the family EVER talk about is the diet they're currently on, and I recently made an official request that no one discuss their diet or make negative comments about their body in front of my daughter. I'm sure that will be impossible for them, but at least I made my position known!



That's kind of awesome. On the flip side, tonight on Skype my MIL (who I really love and am close to, but is sometimes... weird) said, "oh, tiny wu, you're so beautiful!, but that's not important." Then she said, "I can say that now because she's too little to understand, but I won't compliment her on how she looks later. Otherwise she'll be messed up... she should know that image isn't important." My MIL also refuses to tell either my niece or nephew that they ever look nice either.

I mean, yes, other things are more important than being pretty or whatever, but don't you think that's a bit extreme? Obviously we will praise our kid for being smart/strong/capable/kind/etc, but that just seemed kind of weird to me; there should be a happy medium, it seems.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:32 pm 
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The Real Hamburger Helper
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Oh, that reminds me of that blog post that went viral last year about the man who got chided for calling a friend's daughter "beautiful" (or lovely, etc.) when they went to visit the family. He apparently, wasn't supposed to comment on how she looked, only on her abilities/skills. Please.

We should tell our *children* (not just girls) that they are beautiful and smart and funny and whatever. :) Now, maybe my kid is going to have a big head, but hopefully she'll just be confident in her own self.

Oh, that reminds me of a funny phase Freya went through last month. She doesn't really like crawling still, but she got really into this sort of elephant walk right before Christmas. The first time she did it, we were amazed and cheered, etc. Later, I found her doing it (sometimes without me in the room even), then pausing to sit and lift her arms and say "rah" (hurrah). Too funny.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:00 pm 
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Wow littlebear, ketchup?!? Really!?! How much ketchup does anyone ever eat at one time, maybe one or two tablespoons? How much sugar could possibly be in it?

It amazes me how people can find the tiniest, stupidest things to get upset about.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 6:24 pm 
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Aubade wrote:
Wow littlebear, ketchup?!? Really!?! How much ketchup does anyone ever eat at one time, maybe one or two tablespoons? How much sugar could possibly be in it?

It amazes me how people can find the tiniest, stupidest things to get upset about.

I'm so glad you all are normal! She is also the one who said something to me when he got a little pink at the beach. I decided the next time she asks to get together I am just going to say, "no thanks". Our sons really like each other but I don't need that crepe. I'm not perfect, but I am a good mom and I don't need someone to make me feel crappy.

Yesterday I hung out with some awesome friends and they made me feel happy.


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:26 am 
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I get it: French fries aren't all that good for you. But it's not quite the same as giving your kid poison.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:29 am 
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But when you tell someone they're beautiful, aren't you kind of saying, "you're dear to me"?

Who doesn't want to hear that? Sure, if the only thing girls hear is stuff about their appearance, that sounds bad.

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:10 am 
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Oh FF, I like that!

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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:58 am 
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Exactly what I think.

And go Freya! We should all be so confident and kind to ourselves!


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:31 pm 
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Nooch of Earl
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I think if the MIL makes an effort to compliment her for other things besides her appearance, that's fine. I mean, what kid is going to notice when someone doesn't comment about their looks?


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:56 pm 
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When I was a kid, I refused to say "Thank you" if someone said that I was pretty (or cute or whatever), because saying "thank you" would be like taking credit for being pretty, and I knew that I had nothing to do with it. It would be the same as if someone said, "You drew such a nice picture!" and I said "thank you," even though I knew some other kid had drawn the picture. It took my mother years to convince me to just act like a normal person and say "thank you."


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 Post subject: Re: Ventilation Station 2.0
PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 6:25 pm 
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^i can understand that clearly and i think i would respond the same way- or maybe by saying "you are very kind" or something. i mean really, you want to compliment somebody, compliment my mom.*

my eyes, while pretty normal in the US, tend to get a lot of attention here. My father's eyes were similarly intense and when his hair went white they got almost spooky. People would stop him on the street in the US: "oh my god your eyes are SO BLUE, they're so pretty".... today, when someone says that to me, my response is always "thanks to my dad" which at least i feel comfortable saying. [there is the odd occasion when people say something wacko, like "oh my god, you have dog eyes" where i will say "thank you" and walk away as quickly as possible]
--note that this doesn't even approach the whole cultural issue of exoticising foreign colonial influences, self-deprecating more traditional looks and all that crepe, which also makes me feel veeeeeery uncomfortable.--

*(as a parent of a very pretty child, i enjoy receiving this type of compliment. i try not to give the Tiger Mother response and say that she's really not that pretty, or that she'd be prettier if she got a better math grade. [i am soooooo kidding])

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