Post Punk Kitchen Forum

Hmmmmm, so I saw my psychiatrist today. Because I reported feeling ok at present and improving slowly thanks to a change in job he suggested discharging me. I said no not yet, I'm only barely out of a very bad spell. Not long enough to see if I am fully on the road to recovery. Like up til now I have been in every few weeks. The longest I have gone without seeing him is 6 weeks.

From work this week it seems like they are under pressure to discharge a certain amount of people.

Plus it is easier if I stay in the system because if I am discharged and have a relapse I will have to be re-reffered and it gets discussed at a meeting with people I have to work directly with. If I stay in the system and have a relapse the only people that know are the psychiatrist and the CPN. Granted my colleagues would probably guess but at least they wouldn't know the ins and outs of it.

buh I am having trouble getting myself out of bed, even to go to the grocery store. I have so much work I need to do and this is just kicking my asparagus today.

Hi guys. I mentioned this a bit in the relationship smailes, hugs and advice thread on here, but I have recently been diagnosed as being in the midst of a major depressive episode, following the breakdown of my marriage and seperation arrangements with my husband. I also had a late-term miscarriage at the end of September, there is potential due to the way in which my relationship with my husband was ended that there is something hormonal going on with me, in fact it is almost a certianty. Anyway, despite these HUGE lifestyle stress triggers, I had also been dignosed in the past as suffering from a moderate amount of post-partum depression following the birth of my daughter-she's 10 and a half now.

I guess my first question/worry is about medication adherence-I am not good about it when it comes to psychiatric meds, but I know I have to do it now. I will be on at least a prescription antidepressant, but I am also going to a psychaitrist in the next few weeks because I have self-diagnosed but probably OCD, which is obviously an anxiety disorder, and the diagnosing process in ongoing..... I feel like a big bundle of disorders right now! I am terrified of possible interactions between my prescribed hypertension presciption, the hormonal imbalnce triggered from my miscarriage that is not going to be resolved fully (maybe) until a surgical procedure I must undergo in February, and then what if I need both anxiety AND depression meds, after having been on neither and nothing by my hypertension controllong med?

My psychologist mainly thought of sending me to the psychiatrist, though, because apparantly my disclosure that I had been depressed also DURING both of my pregnancies raised some kind of a red-flag, as opposed to the depression only presenting post-partum? I don't know, that kinda freaks me out, and I have not ggogled it because sometimes I get really freaked out by google's explanations for medical things.

Bah, sorry this is so much, guys. I know what it is like for you all to struggle-if I am honest with my self, I feel my depression issues have a strong genetic component, as both of my sisters, most probably my father, and also most probably at least one of my Grandmas, plus many cousions, battle this issue, and I secretly thing I have been up against it since adolesence at least. I hope something can help me, I am so sick of feeling hopeless and right now I am too depressed to work, not that I really have worked in a few years anyhow, but I am feeling it financially now and I am also just doing nothing but sleeping and thinking and thinking most of the day, everyday, except on weekends when my daughter is here and the odd weekday when I see her. Thanks for the forum to disclose this. Hope it is not TMI.

[quote="I guess my first question/worry is about medication adherence-I am not good about it when it comes to psychiatric meds, but I know I have to do it now. I will be on at least a prescription antidepressant, but I am also going to a psychaitrist in the next few weeks because I have self-diagnosed but probably OCD, which is obviously an anxiety disorder, and the diagnosing process in ongoing..... I feel like a big bundle of disorders right now! I am terrified of possible interactions between my prescribed hypertension presciption, the hormonal imbalnce triggered from my miscarriage that is not going to be resolved fully (maybe) until a surgical procedure I must undergo in February, and then what if I need both anxiety AND depression meds, after having been on neither and nothing by my hypertension controllong med? [/quote]

I just started medication a couple weeks ago. I'm on an antidepressant to treat anxiety and depression, so that may be an option for you. Before a medication is prescribed you should be asked about your medications and other problems, blood work might be ordered. If you're concerned just ask questions. Not to scare you, but side effects are fairly normal, but they tend to disappear after a week or 2.

There are plenty of anti-depressants that treat anxiety and depression. Let the doctor know what anti-hypertensives you are on so they can prescribe the right medication and even ask them outright are they ok to take with your specific tablets. Often meds can be prescribed together even if they come with a warning.

The 2 anti-depressants I am on come with a severe interaction warning and consider other options if possible. But due to the interaction of the 2 tablets it actually benefits me because my depression is so severe. Without the combination of the 2 I would probably be dead. I just have to be careful and monitor for signs of flu incase it is sertonin syndrome. I also get regular bloods to monitor my liver function.

I've napped the past 2 days and still slept about 10 hours per night. Not a good sign for me at all. Praying I am just being a lazy cow this weekend and not the start of another episode. I haven't napped in the middle of the day since October/November when I was really depressed.

I'm having a hard time finding the energy to do anything. I'm not sure if I'm still adjusting to my antidepressant or if it's the depression and anxiety causing the problems.

I didn't even know increasing the cipralex dosage was a thing. I've been on 10 mg for months, and it really has helped, but I have lost a lot of weight, I'm exhausted all the time, and my appetite is dead. Plus, I am suuuuper anemic. I keep wondering if increasing or ceasing the dosage is the best path for me. It is hard because I am in between doctors, and the walk-in clinic doctors always treat me like a drug addict, even though I'm on the lowest dosage. This drug keeps making me lose a lot of weight and I honestly have no idea what it is...because I'll pointedly eat nutrient rich/higher-calorie meals. It is really frustrating to have people in my life who care about me (my partner, my parents, my sister) worry about the weight loss because of my history of anorexia, because I really am doing everything I can to take in a healthy amount of food, and I don't restrict anything. When I'm awake I feel like I'm staving off depression, but when I'm tired--I feel awful/hit by a ton of bricks. I don't know...I'm not convinced that I need meds. I know I'm an extremely sensitive person and that can really affect everything in my life--but also, I function just fine in day-to-day life so maybe I should just ditch all meds? The last walk-in clinic Dr. I saw said that this drug was awful for my liver and that I should try to go off it ASAP. I don't know if that was her personal opinion or what, but it freaks me out.

I am on 20mg of Cipralex and I started 2 weeks ago. I figured it was a small dose. I kind of feel over medicated.

I'm on citalopram and my doc wants me to come off. I'm terrified of that, because, I dont' feel better at all. And last time I "came off" it (forgot to bring meds with me on holiday and had a couple of days before i could get emergency) I honestly felt like I was dying.

I'm premenstrual, not relapsing, just plain old hormonal. Thank God for that!

Oh vijita, that is tough. It would be no harm in asking for a change in meds. There are plenty of anti-depressants that actually slow your metabolism or even ones that give you crazy munchies. I have one of each so I'm the opposite to you... I need to be careful of what I eat and all I want to eat is crazy junk food that I normally don't even want! 2 days of misbehaving made me put up 2.5lbs at the weekend.

Crashing pretty hard today. I was trying to describe my depression to someone recently as "anxious depression" - in that I have both anxiety and depression, and they combine in this way that means I don't so much get the complete blanket heavy sad nothing of depression, but more lots of anxiety-style racing self-loathing thoughts, etc etc, til I am completely immobilised by them and cannot interact with people at all (to the point of becoming pretty non-verbal) and totally shut down and withdraw.

I guess since it's been a while since this happened really badly I forgot the blank nothing totally depressed phase that usually follows, when I am so utterly exhausted by all of this that I just crash. That was last night/today. It's been pretty rough.

I know this is happening partly because I have an extremely low tolerance for social situations (ie. I am pretty much the most introverted person I know, combined with social anxiety), and I have been constantly surrounded by them without much of a break for the last little while, but ugh. I'm not totally sure what to do about it - I do like to see people every now and then, and I have plenty of friends who I'd love to be in more regular contact with, so it sucks to think about just how much I have to limit that in order to keep myself sane.

I guess the obvious solution would be to move out of my house. I live with four other people, and lately we've had what feels like an endless train of house guests. I've articulated really clearly how much this challenges me, and we've agreed that we won't have anyone stay for a while. I've also said that it doesn't work for me to constantly have someone staying with us, which everyone else is also fine with. We generally communicate really well and clearly, and everyone is totally respectful. I love my house and my housemates to pieces, and I love living with them. I just worry that I use up all of my social energy at home, and then doing anything outside the house is extremely difficult. On the positive side, all of my housemates are really caring, supportive people, really creative and inspiring to be around, and we are working together to be a mini-community. I feel really really torn about this, because I can see lots of important good stuff for my mental health in this situation - the support and love I get and give is really amazing, and I tend towards unnecessarily rigid boundaries, so I get to challenge those in a really safe space. I guess I'm just scared that this won't work for me long-term, and I hate that.

Oh well, counselling session on Friday!

I haven't read through this entire thread, but what I have read it seems most people are taking prescriptions for their depression. Has anyone here had any luck with a non-prescription path? Just curious.

Nope. But then I am classed as being in the severe depression. Originally it was due to chronic stress but now I get strong symptoms without any triggers so the likelyhood of my illness going into remission without medication is near zero. I think if it is more like dysthymia rather than actual depression then there is more of a chance that alternative routes will work.

There is an over the counter medication called SAM-e. Natural. I was wondering if anyone here had tried it or had any success with it.

Daisychain- Do meds just take the edge off or do you feel normal/happy on meds? I know some people are unresponsive to meds and some people do fine on them. Did your doctor say you would need to be meds for the rest of your life? Sorry if this is too many questions or too personal.

I was on mds for about 20years, and have been off for over 1 year, taking vitamins and natural supplements. The longest I have ever been off, I never thought it would be possible. I am not judging AT ALL, I am just curious about other's journeys, if anyone has had a similar experience to mine. Seriously nothing but love and support.

i was on meds for some years. stopped and now am not. i keep myself on a relatively even keel (after years of therapy) through journaling, meditation, exercise, and very understanding friends. it's more observation/vigilance now. i don't take any vitamin/herbal anything.
i don't think about meds "for life" or med-free for life. too much going on one-second-at-a-time here, who knows what tomorrow might bring. glad to hear you're doing well.

Hey!

I've been on medications since I was twelve, but I think it's important to consider other options as well. First and foremost, try to find a therapist/counsellor. You might be able to find a therapy group in your area, which might be less expensive. However I do recommend being able to meet one on one if you are able to afford it - check out if any local colleges/universities have a practice clinic for students in social work or psychology, they are affordable and you are helping the learning!

There are many things you can do about depression besides medication.....going to a dietician, starting a fitness program, using the depression workbook or something like it, even some zines offer good advice:

http://www.microcosmdistribution.com/ca ... ines/3969/

http://www.microcosmdistribution.com/ca ... ines/3794/ (stuff by the icarus project is awesome)

Now here's the big question: How are you in regards to social support? Even though I do suggest a professional counsellor, you should at least have somebody to talk to and check in with. Preferably you'd have both a counsellor and a loving, supportive network of friends closeby....but I know that isn't the situation for everyone (isn't for me at the moment).

So yeah....just get yourself a person, start talking and then explore all the options.

..............


In other news.....went to an urgent psychiatric care clinic and was able to get an increase of my current sleep medication....I really want it to work. I haven't slept well in weeks and haven't slept at all in days and I'm so tired :(

I'm having a rough time now.....getting a lot of physical pain from depression or some sort of cancerstrokeplague. Anxiety is really high and eating is getting tough. I keep on having flashbacks of my attempt last year and they're scary and unpleasant.

Just gotta keep pushing on- I told my Mum that if I did anything stupid like last year she has my permission to donate all my savings to the conservative party back in Canada. This made her feel very relieved.

Aw, Alex! I wish I could be there to snarfle animals with you and have snacks and some self care fun. I really hope you get some sleep and that it helps you to feel better!!!

Thank you <3

I did end up getting some sleep which is amazing- but I also had to change the time of day I take my other medications....so that mixed with an increase in another (prescribed last night) messed me up a bit. My head hurt so badly today and I felt yucky in general.

Bah. Just get through it self!

Basically it takes the edge off that allows me to do the rest of the work to feel "normal." I'm not sure if I will be on meds for the rest of my life. I'm hoping I won't be but it's going to be something I will have to be open to because the amount of traumatic experiences I have had has effected the way I now deal with things.

This was exactly my experience. The medication I took gave me the space I needed to be able to deal with everything else. I gained an enormous amount from group therapy, sessions with my psychiatrist and working with an occupational therapist, but I wouldn't have been able to access any of that without the provisional stability provided by the meds. It was a combination of the two that helped me get to "normal" again.

Guys, I seem to be doing good. Things aren't getting on top of me or stressing me out like they have been in the past and I am actually happy. It just feels so good. Pray to God that it lasts.

Yes, THIS. This is what they did/do for me, too. Helped me feel calm enough to do the work that needed to be done in therapy.

Yay! Good for you!

Thanks jogirl! I keep thinking.... jeez.... am I going high? Having enough energy to do a bit of housework at the end of the day is just amazing and so unusual. I actually cleaned out one of my bedside lockers last night before going to bed because it was so disorganised. Hoping over the next few weeks that I stay healthy and I can get a massive spring clean done in the house. This last spell of depression (nearly 7 months I think) has caused some serious neglect in my house.