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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:25 am 
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My friends challenge my feminism when they take street harassment (towards them) as a compliment.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 2:24 am 
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Tonight my friend and I went to get slurpees after ballet class (it's a tradition going back 22 years). We were in our dance clothes because, who cares? When we got back to the car it wouldn't start, and the people we asked in 7-11 for jumper cables basically just stared at our bodies and grinned at each other. Going back to the car, this cab driver slowed down and rolled down his window and asked if we needed a jump. We said yes please, but he just kept staring at us the whole time, and by us I mean our bodies. When the car started (which he charged us forking $18 for!), he chuckled and said "I bet you ladies might need some more help after whatever it is you're getting up to tonight!" and gave us his card with his specific cab number. Gross.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:31 pm 
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Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
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OliviaL wrote:
A male acquaintance told me once. "With women its like this: Intelligent, Beautiful, Sane. Pick two. You can't be all 3. Pick two."


fork that shiitake.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 1:01 pm 
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Bought a used copy of Natural Harvest
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A slimy, misogynistic colleague (the one who harasses me), is such a forking sleaze. He calls women "sweetheart" all the forking time. There's a group of women who are of equal rank/job title to him who are doing some nametag assembly work (we do some in-house printing...graphic designers) and he just said, "oooh, a knitting bee!" in this real condescending tone. ArghRAGEkill.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:47 pm 
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Brain Made of Raw Seitan
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vijita wrote:
Tonight my friend and I went to get slurpees after ballet class (it's a tradition going back 22 years). We were in our dance clothes because, who cares? When we got back to the car it wouldn't start, and the people we asked in 7-11 for jumper cables basically just stared at our bodies and grinned at each other. Going back to the car, this cab driver slowed down and rolled down his window and asked if we needed a jump. We said yes please, but he just kept staring at us the whole time, and by us I mean our bodies. When the car started (which he charged us forking $18 for!), he chuckled and said "I bet you ladies might need some more help after whatever it is you're getting up to tonight!" and gave us his card with his specific cab number. Gross.

Ewww! Worst.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:08 pm 
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Semen Strong
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Sorry vijita, even reading that makes my skin crawl. Ewww.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 10:51 pm 
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Drunk Dialed Ian MacKaye
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Vijita that made me hyperventilate a bit. Its hard coming into this thread sometimes :(

Mr. Shankly wrote:
Shy Mox wrote:
Women in my psychology class talking about how beneficial patriarchy is for them personally as wives and girlfriends of strong men who take care of them. Sip the kool-aid and to hell with the women who suffer.

What???


Sorry I was mad. We did a psychology test where we learned about ambivalent sexism, and how there is a positive correlation between hostile sexism and benevolent sexism and *stressed* on why benevolent sexism is bad. Anyway a bunch of women totally ignored the horrible implications of benevolent sexism which we had JUST been quizzed on and went on about how its actually a good thing because they like it when their men protect them from other men and other women are too sensitive about getting mad bout male protection yada yada. Who cares about victim blaming or corrective rape or gender essentialism.

I was a little angry in my response, but I got a 100% out of it at least.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:20 am 
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Well, this isn't even a negative, but it is challenging me mentally. When I was 16, I hung out with an older guy (he was about 24) who really used me physically and then turned around and told everyone I was a hors d'oeuvre. I just found out he's in a Feminist Studies PhD program now. It's just making me feel weird and bringing up lots of old weird feelings.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 2:39 pm 
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PP, I'm so sorry. That is truly awful. May his thesis be complete garbage.

Today for the first time in months, I wore something to school other than an enormous hoodie. It was just a black sweater. But as I walked to classes, it was very noticeable that I passed men who were staring at my chest. I feel gross.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Shy Mox wrote:
Vijita that made me hyperventilate a bit. Its hard coming into this thread sometimes :(

Mr. Shankly wrote:
Shy Mox wrote:
Women in my psychology class talking about how beneficial patriarchy is for them personally as wives and girlfriends of strong men who take care of them. Sip the kool-aid and to hell with the women who suffer.

What???


Sorry I was mad. We did a psychology test where we learned about ambivalent sexism, and how there is a positive correlation between hostile sexism and benevolent sexism and *stressed* on why benevolent sexism is bad. Anyway a bunch of women totally ignored the horrible implications of benevolent sexism which we had JUST been quizzed on and went on about how its actually a good thing because they like it when their men protect them from other men and other women are too sensitive about getting mad bout male protection yada yada. Who cares about victim blaming or corrective rape or gender essentialism.

I was a little angry in my response, but I got a 100% out of it at least.

I don't think there is anything wrong with people wanting to feel protected. And I'm stating this in general. For example I've certainly been harassed by men and woman when alone. Never when I have been with a man. It's my experience.

Also in the positive feminism thread, I couldn't help but notice a person or two referring to their "boo" as a positive point to their feminism. Might this person make them feel more protected in general? And is there anything wrong with that.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 7:54 pm 
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Nothing is wrong with wanting to feel protected, I don't think that it at all what Shy Mox was saying. It seems like she was pretty clear about what she meant - correlation with hostile sexism, victim blaming, etc.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:46 pm 
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Ugh, everything in this post challenges my feminism.
http://vagendamag.blogspot.ca/2013/02/the-vagenda-1st-birthday-one-whole-year.html

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:56 pm 
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This one made me lol
Image

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:11 pm 
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^Me too! A welcome snort amid all that garbage. Ugh.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 9:25 pm 
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kimba wrote:
Nothing is wrong with wanting to feel protected, I don't think that it at all what Shy Mox was saying. It seems like she was pretty clear about what she meant - correlation with hostile sexism, victim blaming, etc.


Yeah, and it was clear what they meant: They like to have a man in their life to protect them...from other men. And we were very clear in why benevolent sexism (women are weak and need protection) is a very bad thing and correlates positively with hostile sexist attitudes.

In more news on the same course, they're also very cissexist. I really do not enjoy the discussion parts of this course.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:38 am 
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At the gym the other day: Two guys discussed how "slutty" one of their girlfriends were because she had texted another guy. They also talked about how she's "asking for attention" by the way she dresses, and other things on the same theme.

Fun fact: The three of us were the only ones in the room at the time and I was wearing my "feminism is the radical notion that women are people"-shirt.


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:27 am 
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DrakeRedcrest wrote:
PP, I'm so sorry. That is truly awful. May his thesis be complete garbage.


Is thesis defence open to the public in the US?


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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:55 pm 
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So I'm trying out the Jailbreak the Patriarchy app right now and this thread looks crazy.

eta:
Image

eta II: AH! I'm now "Ms. Shankly"!

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:34 pm 
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Is anyone bothered by how often Obama refers to "our wives, mothers, and daughters" when he's talking about equality for women? I deserve equal rights because I'm a freaking person, not because of my relationship to someone else. Our country is in a sorry state indeed if the only way men can be convinced that women deserve equal pay and protection from violence is if those women are their relatives.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:55 pm 
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Jigglypuff wrote:
Is anyone bothered by how often Obama refers to "our wives, mothers, and daughters" when he's talking about equality for women? I deserve equal rights because I'm a freaking person, not because of my relationship to someone else. Our country is in a sorry state indeed if the only way men can be convinced that women deserve equal pay and protection from violence is if those women are their relatives.


YES! Women have value only by association.

Its the same thing with rape. In the Steubenville case the only time anyone questions what the rapists are doing, its one person saying "Man, what if that was your sister?" And the guy making the video mocking the rape victim says "Yes, but she isn't."

Can we not agree that women shouldn't be raped because they shouldn't be raped, not because they are someone's sister/girlfriend/wife/mom/auntie/grandma/daughter/niece etc?

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:59 pm 
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Tofulish wrote:
Jigglypuff wrote:
Is anyone bothered by how often Obama refers to "our wives, mothers, and daughters" when he's talking about equality for women? I deserve equal rights because I'm a freaking person, not because of my relationship to someone else. Our country is in a sorry state indeed if the only way men can be convinced that women deserve equal pay and protection from violence is if those women are their relatives.


YES! Women have value only by association.

Its the same thing with rape. In the Steubenville case the only time anyone questions what the rapists are doing, its one person saying "Man, what if that was your sister?" And the guy making the video mocking the rape victim says "Yes, but she isn't."

Can we not agree that women shouldn't be raped because they shouldn't be raped, not because they are someone's sister/girlfriend/wife/mom/auntie/grandma/daughter/niece etc?

Here is a piece on that very issue. It's potentially triggering, and very difficult to read, but also really important, I think.

From the article wrote:
“Imagine if it were your wife/daughter/mother.” Yes, this phrase is almost reflexively brought up when discussing rape, other forms of gendered violence, abortion–really, anything that affects primarily women. But try to picture a woman being call upon to do the inverse: “Imagine if it were your husband/son/father.” It rarely happens. The idea that a woman would need a reminder on how to empathize with someone–as well as way of mentally replacing the object of empathy with someone else who is more personally valued to them–seems slightly ludicrous.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Semen Strong
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That is really great. Thank you for sharing j-dub. You always have the best contributions. I'd love to spend an awesome afternoon hanging out and learning from you over tea and cookies.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 2:50 pm 
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Can we do brownies instead? Oh how I love brownies.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 3:06 pm 
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Hellz yes <3 Also, from the childfree thread, I would be so thrilled if you were Leela's fun aunt. She'd be a lucky kiddo.

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 Post subject: Re: Who challenges your feminism in your life?
PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 12:48 am 
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Why are the cool people always on the internets? I want to have a PPK feminist browniefest.

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