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 Post subject: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:41 pm 
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My mom receives food stamps/ SNAP benefits for me, my brother, and her. It's only about $350 a month and she has been letting me spend my $100 on whatever food I choose. I am 19 and live in Massachusetts.

Well, she had a shiitake fit yesterday. Every now and then she gets really hateful and irritable and yesterday was my lucky day. She's saying I have to leave (if I told you why she started this, you wouldn't really believe it- trust me when I say she is extremely ridiculous and I really didn't do anything). I am not budging. I have not done anything wrong.

However, food stamps came in today, and she is refusing to let me use them. She is not buying me anything with them, either. I was supposed to shop with my sister today at Trader Joe's because I was very low on food. Mom is saying I don't "live here anymore" and therefore I can't use them. What ended up happening was my sister took me shopping anyway and spent lots of her money on my groceries, when I should have been able to use food stamps.

So... is there anything I can do? I am feeling trapped. I actually offered mom some of the fruit I got today and she said in a hateful voice, "I don't want anything from you. Don't talk to me." I feel like I have no control over what's happening. Legally, is there anything?


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:47 pm 
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Since you are legally an adult you could see if you can apply for your own food stamps? I don't know how that works. Sorry, sounds like a tough situation :(


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:51 pm 
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Unfortunately, I live with my mom, and since I am under 22 I cannot apply for my own food stamps. I would have to have a different living situation.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:20 pm 
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You know your mom. How long, typically, until something like this blows over? If it's quick, then it will probably be resolved before you could do anything legally anyway. If not, then is there anything you can do to change your living situation? Because if this type of thing happens regularly and lasts a long time, it seems like food stamps are not the biggest problem.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:24 pm 
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I don't really have any advice but I know it is hard living in such a difficult household. My mother threatened to kick me out of the house so many times for no good reason when I was a teen (usually because I had arrived home 5 mins late from school). A relative took me in for a while until I found my feet and was earning money to go it alone. Would that be an option for you?

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:26 pm 
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That is a bummer, but I don't think there's anything you can do unfortunately since you're living there. Maybe you could talk to someone at an snap office, but I dunno.
Do you think she'll get over it by next month?

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:30 pm 
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I have a friend taking me to the SNAP office on Tuesday morning. It's hard to tell if/when things will "blow over" with mom. She's got issues. I doubt she will have a change of heart by Tuesday, since she cannot even speak to me in a civil manner. If she is not using the food stamps to purchase food for me, it makes no sense for her to receive as much as she is.

I have no options to change my living situation. If I could, I would.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:39 pm 
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Quote:
I have no options to change my living situation. If I could, I would.


I'm sorry. It sounds like you are in a really rough situation. When you go to the SNAP office, can you see if there is a social worker you can talk to? You may have options you don't even know about, but they take access to resources and someone who knows what is out there.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 4:42 pm 
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I'll definitely look into it. I'm just really pissed off that this is the route mom is going. Those food stamps belong to the whole family. They aren't here to be withheld by someone with a bad attitude.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 5:20 pm 
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I have to assume that the amount received is based on the number of people in the house and that you are counted as such, and therefore can't be withheld from you.

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:26 pm 
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It is. However, she seems to think she can do what she wants. I just confronted her about it, saying it wasn't right of her to do what she's doing. Her response? "You're not starving. I didn't tell you to mooch off your sister."

To the SNAP office I go (on Tuesday). She obviously does not want to be an adult about this. I don't know if there's anything I can do but I'm not letting her bully me.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:42 pm 
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Awe, GCZ, I don't have any good advice, but I'm really sorry you are putting up with this. I think it's great that you are going to the snap office to see what can be done, and that you won't let her bully you. Good luck!

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:55 pm 
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Thanks! I am hoping something good will come of this.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:06 pm 
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I don't have anything useful to say, but I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck at the SNAP office.

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:13 pm 
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Sucks. Couldn't your mom get in trouble if she is collecting for you but not supplying you with food?

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:51 pm 
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That was my thought. Hopefully someone at the office can shed some light on it. I'm still holding out hope mom will get back to her senses. She seems to be more in the mood to mock though.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:15 pm 
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That's a really rough situation. I'll join everyone else in saying that I really hope that someone at the SNAP office knows how to help! Good luck with everything!


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Good luck, dude. I wish you the best! I hope your mom gets over it by next month. That seems like a really immature and spiteful way to act.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:48 pm 
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Thanks, guys! There is some hope- she is speaking to me today. I haven't really talked about food stamps with her but I wondered to a friend who was here whether I might be able to remove myself (or if mom can remove me) and apply for my own. It would actually be to the family's benefit (if it worked out)- as a family of three we get $350 in food stamps, but if I were to get my own, I'd get at least $200. It doesn't quite add up!


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:54 pm 
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Doesn't it go by household size, though? I'm thinking if you tried to apply using the same address as your mom they would red flag it.

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:36 pm 
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I wouldn't count on getting over $200 as an individual, but you can probably apply for your own seperately if you tell the case worker your mom is denying yours to you. Unless it varies by state, you should probably expect to get $115


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:23 pm 
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200 seems to be about right. Depending on work situation/school situation. I've looked into it quite a bit.

I'm just going to talk to a worker about it. If they can point me in the right direction, I'll be happy.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:02 pm 
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When i lived in western mass I think I got 200 or 250.


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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:02 pm 
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I hope that today went good for you. I would definitely go to a citizens advice centre and ask for accommodation options. It isn't healthy to be living in a situation like that and I know how hard it is to even find the strength to leave that kind of situation too. Leaving or doing something about leaving can actually be a scarier prospect than staying.

If you ever want to chat just send me a message. I think we are buddies on facebook xxx

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 Post subject: Re: Mom won't let me use food stamps
PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:57 pm 
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missmuffcake wrote:
Sucks. Couldn't your mom get in trouble if she is collecting for you but not supplying you with food?


Yes. At least that's how it would work here in Texas. When we got them, they were for everyone, and the girl I lived with used them all on stuff for herself and she had to repay a portion of them.

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