| Register  | FAQ  | Search | Login 
It is currently Wed Oct 22, 2014 10:05 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 ... 84  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:04 pm 
Offline
Drinks Wild Tofurkey
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:17 pm
Posts: 2825
Location: Boston, MA
Olives wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
I agree that it's kind of offensive to say that willingness to have an abortion = hardcore.

Yup, this.

yeah, it is kind of offensive. I would have an abortion if I got pregnant by accident but didn't feel it was the right time, or if I didn't want to have kids at that point. That in no way influences the fact that there might be another time when I got pregnant by accident and decided I did want to proceed with the pregnancy.

_________________
"If I were M. de la Viandeviande, I would now write a thirteen page post about how you have to have free will to be vegan, but modern science does not suggest any evidence for free will, therefore it is impossible to be vegan." -mumbles


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:29 pm 
Offline
Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pm
Posts: 10665
Location: Illinoize
I think SC just meant that there is a difference between people who don't try to get pregnant but if they did accidentally, would keep it, and people who would not keep the baby no matter what their circumstances are. Like if you had a supportive partner, all of the money and resources you would need, and a supportive family/network of friends, you still wouldn't carry a baby to term because you really do not want kids, versus someone who may want kids at some point but they choose to terminate a pregnancy because the time isn't right.

_________________
"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:30 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 4589
Location: zomgz dijk
mrsbadmouth wrote:
I think SC just meant that there is a difference between people who don't try to get pregnant but if they did accidentally, would keep it, and people who would not keep the baby no matter what their circumstances are. Like if you had a supportive partner, all of the money and resources you would need, and a supportive family/network of friends, you still wouldn't carry a baby to term because you really do not want kids, versus someone who may want kids at some point but they choose to terminate a pregnancy because the time isn't right.


That's what I understood, too.

_________________
ॐ लोकः समासतः सुखिनो भवन्तु
http://www.embracingtheworld.org


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:24 pm 
Offline
Slept through a huge sale, OH NO!
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:59 am
Posts: 1255
mrsbadmouth wrote:
I think SC just meant


SC = CQ, I think?

But yes, I appreciate your re-framing. It was how I understood it as well.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:55 pm 
Offline
Level 7 Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:50 pm
Posts: 1516
Location: NJ -> Bristol UK
heh, i went to high school with the author of two of the webcomics posted in this thread. she's quite a character.


i haven't gotten too much pressure from family or friends (yet?). i think i've made it clear to my mom that i don't want kids, although when i was talking about wanting to adopt a cat she piped up about toxoplasmosis "just in case you get pregnant". i haven't broached the subject with the in-laws, but they have two 20-something daughters of their own, so hopefully that'll take some of the focus off me.

some of you may be aware of the same-sex marriage legislation making its way through UK government. there's a lot of national discussion about the subject right now, including many socially conservative commentators espousing the idea that marriage is an institution primarily for the raising of children. Mr Ketchup thinks it's silly, but i am somewhat concerned that this notion is going to develop into a cultural shift that puts procreation (or at least parenthood) even more at the forefront of marriage than it is already. i wouldn't mind so much if, y'know, marriage weren't necessary for us to live together in the same country.

_________________
vegan cheese bigamy is not allowed. - LisaPunk

I'm going to put my cats in a baby bjorn and be like, "LOOK WE CAN STILL HANG OUT LOOK WE'RE HAVING A PLAYDATE." - bathsheba


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:29 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 4385
Location: 5 mi east of philly
~Sz wrote:
mrsbadmouth wrote:
I think SC just meant


SC = CQ, I think?

nope. 'twas me.

and i meant it as an opt-in definition, (and that's also why i added an alternative "childfree for life" option instead of "hardcore") it was my way of saying that the people who call less dedicated childfree folks "fencesitters" or "childfree by choice/circumstances" should adopt the extra definitive instead of the people who aren't completely sure about the future. if you're at least 51% sure you're going to be childfree for life, there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to call yourselves simply "childfree" while you're actively avoiding instead of using those extra descriptors that the 100% certain people want you to use.

like we're all vegans no matter what. if we choose to no longer be vegan in the future, that doesn't negate all the vegan-ness we had in the past. that obviously doesn't make us vegans in that moment, but we can still say we used to be vegan. the same with childfree. there's no reason we shouldn't be allowed to say we used to be childfree. people change, and that's okay.

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 8:47 pm 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:15 pm
Posts: 2553
Obviously people have different ideas about whether they would choose abortion or not, I just don't like the idea of framing abortion as some sort of extreme action when it's a really simple choice for a lot of people.

_________________
"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:23 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 4385
Location: 5 mi east of philly
but don't worry about that. think of it in the way that i'm not allowed to call myself hardcore or childfree for life because i am uncomfortable with it.

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:13 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6516
Location: Boston, MA
So am I the only one who when says she isn't planning on having kids gets the response, "Good!"?

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:17 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:55 pm
Posts: 4310
Location: The land of maple syrup and beavers.
ndpittman wrote:
So am I the only one who when says she isn't planning on having kids gets the response, "Good!"?


Depends on who I'm talking to. I've definitely had people tell me I'm making the right choice, especially from parents of toddlers. LOL

_________________
Anyone for some German Shepherd Pie? - daisychain
Well! Fruit is stupid! These onions taste nothing like fruit! - allularpunk
Dwarf-tossing for God: A Story of Hope - Invictus


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:28 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6516
Location: Boston, MA
Moon wrote:
ndpittman wrote:
So am I the only one who when says she isn't planning on having kids gets the response, "Good!"?


Depends on who I'm talking to. I've definitely had people tell me I'm making the right choice, especially from parents of toddlers. LOL


Usually it's my parents who tell me that, ha! People at work just assume I will have kids once Wilson comes back, but I'm just not interested. Like many of you, I feel kind of guilty for not being interested. I like kids sometimes, but I don't want to be entirely responsible for one. I feel the same way with pets. I loved when I lived with people who had kitties. It meant snuggles and no litter box cleaning or vet bills. I think I'm just too selfish to have children. I can deal with considering Wilson's wants and needs when I think about things, but it might be my limit. Also, I hate sharing my toys.

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:03 pm 
Offline
Fair trade, organic mistletoe
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 3507
Location: Toronto
strawberryrock wrote:
Obviously people have different ideas about whether they would choose abortion or not, I just don't like the idea of framing abortion as some sort of extreme action when it's a really simple choice for a lot of people.

I am picturing it as being an event televised on ESPN 24--EXTREME Abortion! Sponsored by MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!! *guitar solo*

I think you're right though, in that we need to normalize abortion, and that it really isn't an extreme act. It's, in fact, a lot less extreme than continuing a pregnancy.

_________________
"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:08 pm 
Offline
Kitchens Planning Manchester
User avatar

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:15 pm
Posts: 2553
j-dub wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
Obviously people have different ideas about whether they would choose abortion or not, I just don't like the idea of framing abortion as some sort of extreme action when it's a really simple choice for a lot of people.

I am picturing it as being an event televised on ESPN 24--EXTREME Abortion! Sponsored by MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!! *guitar solo*


If abortion were like that I would get them all the time! Can I get one while I'm on a skateboard?

_________________
"No one with hair so soft and glossy could ever be bad at anything." - Tofulish


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:33 pm 
Offline
Fair trade, organic mistletoe
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:52 am
Posts: 3507
Location: Toronto
strawberryrock wrote:
j-dub wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
Obviously people have different ideas about whether they would choose abortion or not, I just don't like the idea of framing abortion as some sort of extreme action when it's a really simple choice for a lot of people.

I am picturing it as being an event televised on ESPN 24--EXTREME Abortion! Sponsored by MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!! *guitar solo*


If abortion were like that I would get them all the time! Can I get one while I'm on a skateboard?

Dude, you HAVE to be on a skateboard to get one. Or a RAZR scooter!

_________________
"I'd rather have dried catshit! I'd rather have astroturf! I'd rather have an igloo!"~Isa

"But really, anyone willing to dangle their baby in front of a crocodile is A-OK in my book."~SSD


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:57 am 
Offline
Sick of Cupcakes
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 11:44 pm
Posts: 6993
Location: Modesto, CA
j-dub wrote:
Dude, you HAVE to be on a skateboard to get one. Or a RAZR scooter!



or on a pogo stick...

_________________
The Stay At Home Girlfriend: A zine that focuses on
vegan recipes, cat love and living with OCD.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/missmuffcake


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:27 am 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 4385
Location: 5 mi east of philly
*sigh* i wasn't saying the practice of abortion is extreme. :-/

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:52 am 
Offline
Should Write a Goddam Book Already
User avatar

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 9:09 am
Posts: 1084
Location: Denver
strawberryrock wrote:
j-dub wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
Obviously people have different ideas about whether they would choose abortion or not, I just don't like the idea of framing abortion as some sort of extreme action when it's a really simple choice for a lot of people.

I am picturing it as being an event televised on ESPN 24--EXTREME Abortion! Sponsored by MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!! *guitar solo*


If abortion were like that I would get them all the time! Can I get one while I'm on a skateboard?

I want my abortion to be sponsored by Red Bull. And I want to be on a bmx bike.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 1:58 pm 
Online
Flounceiad 2011
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:26 pm
Posts: 5621
Location: A New England
Olives wrote:
strawberryrock wrote:
j-dub wrote:
I am picturing it as being an event televised on ESPN 24--EXTREME Abortion! Sponsored by MOUNTAIN DEWWWWW!! *guitar solo*


If abortion were like that I would get them all the time! Can I get one while I'm on a skateboard?

I want my abortion to be sponsored by Red Bull. And I want to be on a bmx bike.
Yes! This thread is finally getting somewhere!

_________________
I will read all sorts of tripe and am great at suspension of disbelief,
but when characters start getting the hots for serial killer ghosts, I'm out. ~ lavawitch
"SMLOUNCE!" ~ smurfterrobang?!
http://elizaveganpage.blogspot.com


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 2:02 pm 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:30 pm
Posts: 4589
Location: zomgz dijk
Desdemona wrote:
Yes! This thread is finally getting somewhere!


Progress!™

_________________
ॐ लोकः समासतः सुखिनो भवन्तु
http://www.embracingtheworld.org


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:23 pm 
Offline
Has it on Blue Vinyl
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:10 pm
Posts: 2141
Location: milwaukee
*whew* i've been reading for hours and i finally got to page 19! just in time to accidentally step on the abortion jokes! i have fantastic timing.

i found this thread late last night and was surprised (and a little intimidated/worried) by how long it was for how new it was.... reading it (basically) all in one go was certainly an experience.

now that i'm at the end i'm a little spent, so i'll just say for now that i'm 38, have no kiddos, and don't plan to have any. i've been married since i was 24 (my husband is 4 years older) and we just always were in the "i'm not sure what will happen in the long run, but i definitely don't have a strong desire to be a parent" camp. also, we're both professors so we were extremely worried about getting tenure, and agreed that if (big if) we ever had kids that it wouldn't be until after we had tenure.

meanwhile my sister (who lives in the same town) had two beautiful daughters, and we've had a front row seat on parenting for the past 8+ years. it made us feel, on many many many occasions, that we were making the right decision for us.

sometimes i feel like we are too lazy or too preoccupied or too damaged or something to be parents; i feel like we're sensitive to the societal view that everyone should want to be parents, and worry something is wrong with us. but i strongly agree that it's better to regret not having kids than to regret having them, and i also feel like you probably shouldn't have kids if you aren't feeling a strong desire to have them. i think babies are adorable and toddlers are cute and kids are hilarious and teenagers are awesome (at least, they all *can* be those things), but that doesn't mean i want to live with one or be responsible for one's well-being at all times. the idea terrifies me, quite honestly.

i like the idea of being the cool auntie, too. i try my very best.

and i totes want to live in supercarrot's retirement home when i get old!

_________________
i'm not around much, but that doesn't mean i don't love you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 6:34 pm 
Offline
Should Spend More Time Helping the Animals
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2010 4:57 pm
Posts: 6516
Location: Boston, MA
I agree with everything you said, bluedawg. Same is true for me for the most part, except I don't live in the same town as my brother which is a bummer because I'd love to see his kids more often. Well, mostly. His girls are on a big screaming kick, which makes Aunt Nicole feel very tired.

Another layer is being a step-parent, which is really a trip. I love my stepdaughter, but I'm glad I don't have to make the rules or be responsible for her. I feel guilty saying that, but I am just figuring out how to take care of myself!

_________________
I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:59 am 
Offline
Tofu Pup

Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:07 am
Posts: 11
Where should the PPK retirement home be, and can I get my name o the waiting list now???


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:08 am 
Offline
Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan Vegan
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:46 pm
Posts: 4385
Location: 5 mi east of philly
somewhere relatively warmish or at least temperate, (i was thinking somewhere just south of portland. the east coast has had too many hurricanes lately, and it'll probably get worse so i don't think that's a good idea. also the winter vs summer temperatures swing too wildly.) it needs enough land to have a big orchard and farm, but close enough to other people so they can use the vet's office and buy stuff from our bakery which will be called "not your grandma's" and we can also have a pretty landscaped area so wedding parties can have their photos taken.) i am assuming a lot of us won't have the money to keep it going, so we'll need to offer services to the community. we can have a thrift store on the grounds too, so we don't have to worry about having estate sales, we can just bring our valuable crepe with us and sell it there. oh, a little grocery co-op would be a good idea too.

our kitchen will be huge, and we'll have special closets for our fermentation projects, and of course another closet full of our vitamixes and kitchenaid mixers in case the ones we're using on the reg break down.

_________________
I solved it for once and for all -- and for everyone -- by intentionally leaving behind some 9-lives burritos... ~Lorelei4mc
supercarrot.com, vegan groupony things, vegan coupons


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:57 pm 
Offline
Dying from Nooch Lung
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:28 pm
Posts: 3268
I'm glad to see this thread didn't get locked and is back on track.

bluedawg wrote:
societal view that everyone should want to be parents, and worry something is wrong with us. but i strongly agree that it's better to regret not having kids than to regret having them, and i also feel like you probably shouldn't have kids if you aren't feeling a strong desire to have them. i think babies are adorable and toddlers are cute and kids are hilarious and teenagers are awesome (at least, they all *can* be those things), but that doesn't mean i want to live with one or be responsible for one's well-being at all times. the idea terrifies me, quite honestly.

Great post, bd!

_________________
CupcakeKitteh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Women who have chosen not to have kids
PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:57 pm 
Offline
Aired her grievances, lost the feat of strength
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 1:56 pm
Posts: 4299
Location: Brighton, England.
I want to live on the PPK commune. We just need to convince the US government to let me move into the country!

_________________
Blog: Vegan.In.Brighton
Not-For-Profit Bakery: Operation Icing
Twitter: @veganinbrighton


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 ... 84  Next

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: brian, Fee, Google [Bot], GreenDuck, navet confit and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Template made by DEVPPL/ThatBigForum and fancied up by What Cheer